I’m a 2003-born, 23F from a tier 1 Indian city, and I feel so ancient for having never experienced romance before...

Especially after seeing all the dating and relationship posts everywhere. 😭

People also refuse to believe me when I tell them I’ve never really been into romance before, so it’s surprisingly hard to find people who can relate.

Even though I feel significantly more mentally mature now, the idea of stepping into the dating world still feels super scary.

I’ll probably skip dating apps altogether and try to meet people organically because dating apps just seem so fake and superficial to me.

Girlies in my shoes do y’all feel scared especially because of how much our society likes to age out women and feel like the clock is ticking? 🥹

Don't get me wrong, but this is something that's always bothered me.

Even women who seem modern, educated, financially independent, and from progressive families often take their husband's last name after marriage.

And even when they keep their own last name, many add his surname to the end as well. But you rarely see men doing the same.

The same thing happens with kids too, they're usually given the father's surname by default.

Personally, it feels like a loss of identity to me. I want to keep my own name without adding my husband's surname to it.

If he isn't expected to change or add mine, I don't really see why I should be expected to do it either.

I'm genuinely curious why this is still so common, even among people who are otherwise quite progressive.

And what would you do if you are going to get married someday?

I don't think men should automatically be believed when they call themselves feminists.

Anyone can claim a label; their behaviour over time is what matters.

With the rise of casual misogyny and sexism across Indian social media,

I'm extremely worried about ending up with someone whose views on women are outdated

For people who have met genuinely feminist men, what did they do differently?

What were the signs that their belief in gender equality was real and not just performative?

Would love to hear examples from an Indian context.

I’m of the opinion that any man can be kind to you when you are part of their family or close to their life.

A father can be a great father to his daughter, and outsiders might look at him and think, “What a great father, so supportive of his little girl.”

But he may still be a misogynistic husband to his wife, holding her to different standards because she likely won’t leave anyway. I’ve seen this with my own eyes.

Likewise, men you encounter as colleagues, classmates, or even friends can be kind to you.

Because they have to see you every day and you are an emotional presence in their life,

they may genuinely enjoy the friendship while still holding misogynistic or patriarchal values underneath.

This is especially true for men you get to know through dating or romantic relationships.

They may be kind to their girlfriends and try to impress their dates, so many will say they believe in equality or that they are feminists.

But they don’t always reveal their true selves until it’s too late.

Also I don’t think anyone who simply claims to be a feminist is automatically one.

I can claim to be many things that I’m not, but who I am is revealed through my actions.

So ladies, how do you tell who is an actual feminist man rather than just trusting his words? Especially in India?

Something pretty disturbing happened while I was scrolling another sub. ( I won’t take the name because it is against the rules )

There was a post about a young woman in Maharashtra who lost her life because of d*wry pressure.

Nothing about it is rage bait, nothing about it is gender war, but it was simply a straight up tragic incident.

What shocked me was the comments.
Instead of basic empathy or just agreeing that d*wry is an outdated, illegal, harmful practice, they were low-key defending it!!!

Also a lot of the comments calling it out were getting downvoted.

And some people were doing all kinds of mental gymnastics to shift the blame onto the girl or her family.

I don’t even get what’s controversial here. Even if there are layers to how these things happen socially, how does that change the basic fact that a young woman lost her life because of pressure like this?

At the very least, shouldn’t empathy come first before trying to justify or debate it?

How is there still so much d*wry defending or denial even after a young woman dies? Why is this still happening?

And let me tell you, the sub in question ( again I won’t take the name for obvious reasons ) has a lot of young crowd, it isn’t even some 40-50 year olds lurking there btw.

Heyy ladies,

If you have dated someone before, especially as straight women

what kind of reactions do you get from men whenever you tell them you’re a feminist?

is this a good filter to weed out misogynistic men?

I think it’s pretty easy to spot the obvious ones

But I really fear having a male friend of dating a guy who may act all progressive on the surface only to hold regressive views underneath

In your experience what helps you weed them out? Please help us inexperienced girls.

I’d say reading those takes doesn’t just make me a bit annoyed at the obvious lies, it also makes me laugh a lot 🤣😭.

A lot of the exaggerated stuff feels less like reality and more like coping.

By “translate it into what it really means,”

I just mean taking something a red-pill / manosphere guy says and breaking down what they’re actually trying to say underneath it, in a funny, honest way.

Like if someone says,

“women hit the wall at 30 and lose value,” the “translation” would be something like:

“I’m stressed about my own aging and trying to make it sound like it only applies to women.”

So what’s the funniest red-pill / manosphere take you’ve heard from a guy, and what does it really mean underneath?

I think I have consumed enough tea ☕️ on the actors / actresses themselves from our Kannada movie industry, at this point, it’s starting to become boring.

So I would love to know what their kids were like, if you once knew them.

yenaadru chaha idre kodi paa. ☕️

innondu tea post antha dayavittu Kopa madkobedi 🥹 ivattu shanivaara sikkide chance u antha post madta iddini, Tappagidre kshamisi 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

So guys I think,

>!&#x200B;!<>!7 years later which Is when I turn 30 and !<>! finally leave this sub to be a member of thirties india even gen alpha won’t stop making relationship posts and the gender war shall continue. !<

23F, never dated before, so please be kind.

I'm a staunch feminist and it's an important part of my values. I don't see feminism as man-hating or misandry.

To me, it's simply about equality and believing women deserve the same rights, opportunities, and respect as men.

The thing is, I've noticed that some people seem to have a very different understanding of feminism and immediately react negatively to the label itself.

Because of that, I have no idea what dating is actually like in this regard.

For those of you with dating experience, how do men usually react when you tell them you're a feminist?

If someone seems uncomfortable with it, how do you tell whether they're reacting to misconceptions about feminism,

or whether it's a sign that your values genuinely don't align?

I'd especially appreciate hearing from women who've dated before.

A partner is supposed to be someone who you’d be physically intimate with at some point in life, why should anyone compromise on that?

This is no charity and it’s not like there aren’t enough dead bed rooms already in Indian marriages

Moreover every time someone has a hard time finding a partner somehow the blame gets shifted to the woman, and she’s supposed to “compromise”

I just clicked on someone’s account out of curiosity and then I saw their comment here so decided to join the community, it’s so nice to see there are more twenties subs just like the teen subs, I genuinely hope this grows 🤞🏻💕

Came across a post on another sub it was a question asked by a 24 year old guy about whether it was creepy for him to be with his 20 year old girlfriend because of the age difference,

I commented:

“It isn’t inherently weird or creepy for you to date her but the younger someone is in a relationship the more is the power dynamic imbalance in a romantic relationship”

Then comes a reply to my comment, it was from a different person, a 27 year old man, he tells me how he wants to date someone in their early twenties especially a 20 year old because she has had no past whatsoever 💀😵

According to him, the women around his age have all had sexual past, I pushed back and told him whatever I’ve observed,

My elder cousins around 27 who are very close to me haven’t had any relationship till date although they could have if they wanted to, and that they’re waiting for marriage,

Also told him, even if a woman has had a relationship it’s not like she is being physically intimate with her partner.

( not that women choosing to be intimate with their partner before marriage is wrong, but I just wanted to counter this dude so I chose to tell him all that )

Then this man gets defensive and tells me he finds it morally right to date a 20 year old because she’s pure, and now he seems to be on a mission to find someone so young 💀

Anyway before some guy jumps in to tell me I could be a bitter old woman jealous of a man of my age pursuing younger women, I’m 23 myself ain’t no one jealous of these l*sers 😭💀

When a vast majority of women don’t even lay eyes on someone who’s even slightly younger than them, I don’t get why there’s this predatory tendency in some men to go behind teenagers?

Tell me what could be common between a 27 year old and a 20 year old? In 2026 isn’t that like a generational gap?

Of course if someone is 37 and dating a 30 year old consensually that definitely isn’t what I’d call creepy or predatory, but 20 freaking year old? At least wait for her to grow 😭🤢