u/Kratos5300

Estranged 26F from the mother that had me sent to foster care when I was 11 and decided to refer to it as me “running away” ever since. If only I could ask her and get an honest answer; did I run away, or did the sheriff pick me up from school upon a court order? Curious :)

I really want to share this YouTube channel, I can’t find a post on this sub more recent than a year ago mentioning it, but even then it was just a reference to a specific video.

Marnie from “But She’s Your Mother” is a certified therapist that posts videos about dealing with relationships, reviews of estranged parents’ videos/media, in-depth interviews with estranged children (!!!!!), and so much more. She shares about being an estranged parent herself at one point with her own daughter and how they worked through that. She shares about her own weaknesses and she not only reaches out to estranged adult children but she also opens the door for estranged parents to do some actual legitimate soul-searching. There’s a mix of parents and children in her comments (relatively speaking in terms of estrangement, she is very particular about specifying “adult children of parents” to not infantilise us).

She’s been my #1 resource for the last couple years. I just really wanted to share with y’all. But maybe y’all are ahead of me and I’m preaching to the choir or whatever haha :) if you’re a fan I’d love to talk about her videos omg not to be parasocial but she’s my internet momma fr she’s done so much healing in my brain. I’m so grateful for her channel!

My partner and I vowed to wait until the entirety of the new first season* was out so we could binge it together. I’m too tempted for spoilers so I’ll have to completely block this sub out until we can enjoy it fresh together. I have a ton of fun in this sub I’ll miss y’all 🙏 have fun with the release!!!!! I can’t wait to come back and see all the fan art and discussions. I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since this beautiful world was first introduced to us!

One of the biggest turns in my life came from my first therapist around the age of 22. My first long-term partner had moved out and took the vacuum among a lot of other things and I was struggling. I was complaining that I can’t drive, so I can’t get a vacuum. I couldn’t take a vacuum on the public transport. My house was getting so dusty and all I had was a broom that I used multiple times a day in any way I could.

“Just order one online!”

I said, “A vacuum? You can do that?” 🤯

This was several years ago and while you might think it’s obvious to order online, it hadn’t occurred to me. I grew up in and aged out of foster care. I somehow made it on my own in college and then with a partner, but then for the first time I was truly alone. I didn’t know you could order “big” things off the internet because I’d never done it before. It’s not like I had my own bedroom to keep things in. The only online orders I’d ever made were secret little things for myself to hide in my suitcase. I’m in the U.S, I literally cannot understand how this never crossed my internet feed or anything lol.

Smaller examples include: Making 2 pizzas at the same time in the oven even if they require differing temps. Having multiple phone chargers to keep in different areas. Having multiple of those weekly medication containers to pre-fill so that you don’t have to worry about it for at least a month. Using chicken tenders to make a chicken Parmesan.

Oh shoot a big one I’m just now remembering: I used to think it was actually illegal to request to switch doctors. I thought once you were “assigned” to a doctor, you couldn’t just leave them for another one in the same state without a “reason”. I don’t know why I thought this but it caused me to feel stuck with a psych that wouldn’t budge when I became concerned about what would eventually be my misdiagnosis condition (hi fellow formerly “bipolar” girlies wasn’t that just so awesome 😊). That was what led to my rediagnosis and currently very successful medication routine.

So tell us however little or significant. You never know what is obvious to you but a life-altering hack for others 😊

I’m in my mid twenties and work full time at a job I thankfully love. I got dumped last night after three years with the most wonderful person in the world and part of me is fearing feeling trapped. I can’t drive and never will be able to, partially due to my autism and partially due to being blind in one eye. We loved driving together, we’re in the city so we have to travel a bit to get out of it. I miss the fresh air and stars and trees and quiet. I grew up in the woods as a child but I have to live in a city now since I can’t drive. We recently drove cross-country to visit my home state, driving through over 11 national parks. I felt completely reborn. It had been years since I’d been to my home state.

Well, I’m alone now, but I don’t want to be stuck. How do y’all recommend replacing this experience?

- I struggle bad with biking. I have a bike but the tires are flat so it’s useless. My legs can’t tolerate it for longer than a few minutes. I tried that bike dozens of times and always hated it.

- I used to take the Greyhound all over the country in college. Maybe I could book short, cheap round trips?

- I’m a walker but I have to have my NC headphones on all the time with how noisy and populated my area of the city is. Part of nature‘s appeal for me is being somewhere where no one can see me. As a kid I’d walk 10 feet out and the trees would cover me. This kind of thing is EXTREMELY calming for my nervous system. It’s extremely difficult when I am home and don’t have the ability to do that. My only coping mechanism now related to that is shutting myself in my closet with the light off.

Edit: I feel a little silly making this lol I was kind of panicking for nothing. She was so freaked out that it freaked me out! She seems to be feeling better now 😊

I’m having the hardest time finding anything on Google for this. I was in bed watching a cat training video and the lil guy was PO’d about being left behind so he was yelling for his owner. So my girl probably heard something along the lines of “WHERE ARE YOU? COME HERE. WAIT FOR ME.” in cat-language. She sprinted to my bed and her pupils were HUGE, tail puffy. It’s been several mins and she’s still looking behind and under the bed for this mysterious boy. I put the phone in front of her and played/paused a couple times to show her the source but she is not convinced. I feel really bad!!! Do I just wait it out? Will she forever long for this boy who she thinks was calling for her? She’s 4 years old if that helps.

Last summer we placed a window bird feeder and it was very popular with the birds. Our cat is extremely well behaved and relatively active, we play with her in a variety of ways and she has a good schedule that she likes to adhere to. She’s on a weight loss journey monitored by her vet so she’s a healthy girl. We became unsure about the feeder when after weeks, she hadn’t stopped pouncing at it. She would pounce several times a day at the window. It didn’t seem she was hitting her face but we couldn’t tell if she was having fun or frustrated. Sometimes we put the blinds down to prevent her from being able to see if she was pouncing quite a lot. The birds are back this year looking for the feeder and we’re hesitant. Is it cruel and frustrating like a laser pointer? Is it OK if she still gets the satisfaction via playtime? What do you guys think ? I’m finding completely opposing answers online and now I’m confused.

I don’t prefer the “sew a whole wardrobe in 24 hours with me” or “sew a whole closet in 48 hours” videos. I’m looking for YouTubers like Frieda Lepold who go more into couture but more importantly show the making of one piece and focus on one solid, well-made garment through completion. Literally the closest I’ve found are those Korean suit-making or Hanbok-making videos but those don’t have any speaking usually, but thankfully they have translated captions most of the time noting the process. Anyways, just looking for more channels to learn and satisfy my sewing urge through the work-day lol.

I’m also recalling a gal who has a dark academia/goth aesthetic that does similar videos, I know I’m subscribed to her but I can’t recall her name at the moment. She does really cool historical pieces and stuff too. Please send your recs :)

bonus points for any creators who show their sewing mistakes in their videos and how to fix them, I love that kind of stuff.