u/Kuromi1978

We have 4 kids. I have been financially supporting us since we had the 3rd child 10 years ago. They are now old enough to stay home alone and I have a very flexible job so there really isn’t much reason for her to be at home all of the time anymore.
My wife seems to always have issues with us being paycheck to paycheck and is always stressed about money. The issue is, every time I bring up her going back to work full time, she starts an argument about me not valuing what she does. I have tired to use the analogy of a canoe. I am in the back, rowing as fast as I can and shes up front, rowing at 25% but yet asking to go faster.
I will also add that she does work part time at the school, but at most 1-3 days a week. Sometimes none.
I do a majority of the household chores, take care of our pets, and coach our kids sports teams. Shes an awesome mom and great person.
Am I actually the asshole for asking my partner to go back to work?

Edit for details:
Kids range from 9-14. Very responsible, great kids. I work remote, basically from home. Sometimes take day trips to local offices.
Dishes- kids put away. Both of us will load if it needs done.
Laundry- let’s say this is 60/40 but we do not put away kids clothes. We both will switch loads over but I do always sort our clothes and put them away.
We live out of the school district so have to drive them back and forth, we do that 50/50 if shes working at the school. Otherwise it’s usually me running them back and forth.
I take and pickup from sports and events 75%.
We both attend conferences. She definitely is more involved with their teachers and school work.
She buys all the groceries online via Walmart, Target, and Aldi app. She picks up most of the time.
All of the outdoor chores are done by the kids and myself.

Has anyone found any successful way to get stuff done while dealing with postdrome exhaustion? I have stuff I absolutely need to get done today but my body feels like it’s stuck in molasses and my brain is not cooperating. Caffeine isn’t helping, it just feels like I’m drinking water at this point.

UPDATE: It wasn’t postdrome, it was predrome and turned into a migraine 😭 Took meds and the kiddo and I are reconfiguring our mommy-daughter day. Thanks for all the suggestions.

Just a vent…

Spring in the Mid-Atlantic has not been my friend this year. I’ve been managing my migraines fairly well for decades (mostly 10-12 manageable migraine days a month), with a few very bad seasons (spring 2020 was memorably awful, as was 2018).

But this spring has really knocked them out of the park. Weather fluctuations and my period are major triggers for me, so every time the weather fluctuates 20+ degrees my kids and I get slammed. It’s been like this since February. It doesn’t help that I’ve also hit perimenopause (I’m 47).

I finally had a good week when the last two days my face went numb and then I woke up to a blinding headache this morning.

Anyway, I’m NOT looking for advice, I know things will even out once the summer comes and temperatures are more consistent. Just want to complain to others who understand.