u/LabPrevious7256

I’m currently 23F and so badly want to be a mum, but I don’t have any desire to date/have a partner. I’m thinking I would like to start the process the middle of next year when I’ll be 24 and have a child at hopefully 25.

I genuinely can’t see myself having a partner again and even when I was a kid I couldn’t see myself with a partner.

Although I’ve had them in the past, I’ve always just been thinking about being able to have kids.

When I was 18 I was forced into an abortion by my mum, a baby which I really wanted, I want one now as much as I did then.

I’ve been and completed therapy for ptsd and am now in recovery, I own my own house, have a stable job, travelled a whole lot, 25 countries and counting! I have a degree and a great group of friends.

I just feel like something is missing, I’ve always been the nurturing type.

I’ve also been looking at fertility clinics, and how much sperm donors are, and as much as I want to be a mum I just don’t have that kind of money out of pocket, I also have PCOS which means it might take more than a few tries to get pregnant, which of course could be 1000s

I live in the UK and we have the NHS, and we also have decent childcare benefits and care systems, so the recurring expenses wouldn’t be a massive hit for me, it’s just the out of pocket costs of actually getting pregnant!

Is there a way to do this “cheaply” and safely?
And do you have any advice as to whether I would be ready so “young”

Being a mum is literally all I’ve ever wanted.

I’ve 23F have been in no contact with my (ex) boyfriend 28M for 3 weeks now. We had an on again off again relationship, where it got to a point for almost a year that we were “dating” but we hadn’t asked eachother out properly.

I wanted him to ask me out because he said he had something special planned so I waited and waited for over 8 months for him to do it and when I’d ask he said to be patient.

I was living with my parent until about 3 months ago I bought my own house, (I wanted to get out of a bad situation at home) and I asked him to maybe buy one with me but he said that he didn’t want to and then got mad when I did it without him.

He then started putting in less and less effort, and I was always the one to ask to see him etc, he never asked to see me, and didn’t communicate when I asked him to.

When we met four years ago, a month before he had found his dad dead on the living room sofa. It was a sudden death and it really (obviously) shook him to the core.

I was trying my best to be so patient, I made sure I spent time with him on Father’s Day and other major events or gave him space if he needed it and always said he could talk to me about it whenever he needed.

3 weeks ago, after 8 months of him saying we were going to get back together, I asked him if he actually wanted to stay with me because we were growing further apart, he said that he did but acknowledged that he hadn’t been putting any effort into “us” and that he was sorry and had been missing his dad.

I said that it was completely understandable that he was missing him, and that I know this time of year is really hard, but I said at this point I feel like I’m just being led on. To which he says he loves me and isn’t leading me on, and then goes on to say “I’m genuinely hope you find what you’re looking for. You deserve the world and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do that” and then…

Radio silence.

I cried a lot that night, and I sent him messages that day and the next day, I’m blocked on a few things.

It’s been so so hard, not having much closure and the evenings are so sad and the silence is deafening. He still has some stuff to pick up from my place if it is really over and I don’t know how to deal with that (it’s not urgent stuff but he will need it back at some point)

Was I just not understanding enough? Was I not being patient enough? It’s been so hard for him since his dad died, maybe I just was too hard on him?

I don’t know but I need some advice on how to navigate this… I’m struggling a bit to deal with it and I don’t want to never see him again.

Maybe it’s the right thing to do but he’s the only partner I’ve ever been comfortable with…

Please some advice 🥹 🫶🏼

I’ve (23F) have been in no contact with my (ex) boyfriend (28M) for 3 weeks now. We had an on again off again relationship, where it got to a point for almost a year that we were “dating” but we hadn’t asked eachother out properly.

I wanted him to ask me out because he said he had something special planned so I waited and waited for over 8 months for him to do it and when I’d ask he said to be patient.

I was living with my parent until about 3 months ago I bought my own house, (I wanted to get out of a bad situation at home) and I asked him to maybe buy one with me but he said that he didn’t want to and then got mad when I did it without him.

He then started putting in less and less effort, and I was always the one to ask to see him etc, he never asked to see me, and didn’t communicate when I asked him to.

When we met four years ago, a month before he had found his dad dead on the living room sofa. It was a sudden death and it really (obviously) shook him to the core.

I was trying my best to be so patient, I made sure I spent time with him on Father’s Day and other major events or gave him space if he needed it and always said he could talk to me about it whenever he needed.

3 weeks ago, after 8 months of him saying we were going to get back together, I asked him if he actually wanted to stay with me because we were growing further apart, he said that he did but acknowledged that he hadn’t been putting any effort into “us” and that he was sorry and had been missing his dad.

I said that it was completely understandable that he was missing him, and that I know this time of year is really hard, but I said at this point I feel like I’m just being led on. To which he says he loves me and isn’t leading me on, and then goes on to say “I’m genuinely hope you find what you’re looking for. You deserve the world and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do that” and then…

Radio silence.

I cried a lot that night, and I sent him messages that day and the next day, I’m blocked on a few things.

It’s been so so hard, not having much closure and the evenings are so sad and the silence is deafening. He still has some stuff to pick up from my place if it is really over and I don’t know how to deal with that (it’s not urgent stuff but he will need it back at some point)

Was I just not understanding enough? Was I not being patient enough? It’s been so hard for him since his dad died, maybe I just was too hard on him?

I don’t know but I need some advice on how to navigate this… I’m struggling a bit to deal with it and I don’t want to never see him again.

Maybe it’s the right thing to do but he’s the only partner I’ve ever been comfortable with…

Please some advice 🥹 🫶🏼

Hi, I’m 23(F) and I’ve just moved into a house on my own that I’ve bought.

My relationship with my mum has always been kinda up and down, and I left her house to live with my dad when I was 18 as she said she was going to turn off the electricity so I couldn’t do my uni work (I digress, but just for context as to what she’s like)

Today, after a month in my home, I decided to get some bunny rabbits. I have a huge space for them and eventually I’ll free roam them once they have potty trained. I have always wanted them and have researched for years, but couldn’t get them as my dad had cats.

My mums side of the family have always been weird, but today they really upset me.

I posted a picture to the family group chat introducing them. Hoping they’d be happy for me. But the comments I got were

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“What have you done that for”

That kind of thing.

I replied with “nobody ever thinks anything I do is a good idea haha”

The haha to soften the message, I’m a bit scared of these people.

Then my mum calls

“There was no need to put that in the group chat, you need to learn how to take other people’s opinions”

I said

“I didn’t ask anyone for their opinions, I just wanted to introduce my new pets”

“We all think it’s a terrible idea and you haven’t thought this through”

Then i explained that I HAVE indeed thought this through and I said

“Why can’t you just be happy for me”

Then she replied “well I was happy for you when you got your house wasn’t I? I helped you out a lot, are you saying I’m never happy for you?”

Then she asked
“Should I just not ever tell you my opinions then?”

And I said “no thank you, if you haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say it”

“Fine I’ll keep my opinions to myself”

“Good”

And then she hung up the phone

Then I started crying lol.

Am I just being a little crybaby and not be so dramatic and should be open to opinions like hers or is it that she should just let me do my thing now as I’m 23 with a house of my own?

Getting a pet is ABSOLUTELY a big commitment but surely she would trust me enough to make my own decisions and do my own research?

Am I the AH?