u/Lee_Harden

Seeing a therapist once a week for an hour isn’t enough, and that’s become clearer after a few appointments with a new therapist I’m seeing. It can’t be overstated how bad I’m doing mentally and how hopeless I feel. I‘m overwhelmed with so many problems.

I’ve had past therapists, but most of them made me feel worse. I did an outpatient program years ago but that was a waste of time, didn’t help me in any way, and was way too expensive. I’ve tried a dozen medications that never helped me either.

What else is there? I’m really afraid there’s nothing that can help me, and I‘m too mentally exhausted and broken to truly help myself. I can barely do anything. I’m at a complete loss.

Seeing a therapist once a week for an hour isn’t enough, and that’s become clearer after a few appointments with a new therapist I’m seeing. It can’t be overstated how bad I’m doing mentally and how hopeless I feel. I‘m overwhelmed with far too many problems. I can’t help myself.

I did an outpatient program years ago but that was a worthless waste of time and way too expensive. What else is there? I’ve tried a dozen medications that never helped me either.

I‘m afraid I’m a lost cause. Idk how or if I can get to a point where I can truly help myself. The depression is beyond severe at this point, and my social anxiety is worse than ever. “Professional help” as a whole for mental health feels like a cruel joke, especially if your problems are severe enough.

Seriously, what the fuck else is left? I feel like my only option left is to die. Not like anyone gives a fuck.

There isn’t a conscious moment where it’s not. Hundreds of problems and thoughts that never stop. I’m so overwhelmed, my brain is just paralyzed. No one in my life understands or cares to help.

I end up doing nothing every day and everything continues to get progressively worse. I’m going to either die in the near future or suffer more in some other way, even though I’m suffering enough as it is. 

I can’t handle the depression anymore. Or the trauma and anxiety. Or the intense grief with my dad gone. I’m so fucking tired. I just want it all to end.

After I walked into her office is when she told me. She told me she called them this morning. I got UnitedHealthcare a few months ago and they told me mental health and therapy is covered. I wouldn’t have gotten the insurance if it didn’t cover mental health…

So, now I just wasted my time driving all that way, wasted an appointment, and now I have to call the insurance and find out wtf is happening. Meanwhile, I’m hanging on by a fucking thread.

If I can’t see her then idk what I’m going to do. It took me so long to find someone and now I’m being fucked over again.

I have my third appointment tomorrow and kind of not looking forward to it. I’ve been so uncomfortable the past two times and my mind freezes up when she asks me something, and I can’t think of anything to say. I have severe social anxiety and I’m not good at talking to people. It’s very difficult for me to open up or explain myself properly.

I wrote stuff down last time so I don’t forget certain things, but then felt weird about looking at my phone and just didn’t read what I wrote, which wasn’t much. I just want to be comfortable and capable of talking but I can’t… my mind just freezes. This was a problem I had with my last therapist and it never got better.

Is there anything else I can do?

I’m so incredibly overwhelmed by so much. I post about it all too often. I can’t make myself do anything and there’s so much to do. It’s like my brain is paralyzed in some way and I’m burnt out. Even if I finally do something, it’s not like I can keep any momentum going.

I can break down whatever task to the smallest size to make it “easier”, but it’s not. I still don’t want to do it. I still don’t have the energy or anything. It’s still too fucking much. Idk wtf is wrong with me.

And I have no help or support from anybody. I just started therapy but that’s not enough…

I felt so uncomfortable the whole time sitting there. I had so much I wanted to say beforehand, but then I sit down for the appointment and my mind goes blank. Talking was difficult and I couldn’t stop sweating.

I feel like we barely talked about anything because I struggle so much with talking to begin with. I was so tense and uncomfortable, then thinking about how tense and sweaty I was just made me feel worse.

I feel like she’ll think I’m weird or something or judge me. I hate being this way so much. I feel embarrassed and I just hate myself.

Hundreds of problems, overwhelming me all at once. Childhood trauma, severe social anxiety, extremely depressed, very intense grief after losing dad last year. Probably dissociating or something too. I don’t feel human. Nothing seems real anymore.

28 years old and too mentally broken to do anything about it. I just can’t get myself to do fucking anything. No friends. Not much family left. I’m so stressed and tired, can’t help myself. I need serious help so bad but no one anywhere cares.

How is anyone supposed to go through all of this without help or support? It feels like the world and people around me are just leaving me to die. I’m drowning and no one cares.

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late…

I hate my appearance. I hate how I look. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin. I fucking hate my body and think I look like shit. Even my hair looks worse now and I hate that too. I don’t like being perceived by other people.

I hate myself for not being able to talk to people. Social skills are practically nonexistent. I’m 28 and still can’t do most things myself. Never had a job. No friends. Never had a relationship. Have no idea what being intimate with someone would be like. Can’t even imagine it anymore.

I‘ve wasted the past 10 years of my “life” doing mostly nothing. Avoidance has always been one of the biggest problems for me. I’m too scared to do anything. And hating how I look and act makes doing anything so much more difficult than it already is.

I‘m a mentally ill failure. People would just assume the worst for someone in my position. I have a good heart, but who the fuck cares? I can’t take care of myself or survive on my own. I’m a decade behind everyone else my age. I’m embarrassed to be alive at this point.

Even if they were the best therapist in the world, I don’t think it’ll be enough, considering all of the problems I have. That’s all that was on my mind after leaving her office. I know it’s just the first appointment, but idk what to think of her.

She was nice enough, and I talked more than I thought I would. Not nearly enough time to bring up everything though. And it’s very hard for me to trust anyone, especially a therapist. My past two therapist experiences weren’t positive.

All I know for sure is once a week for 50 minutes isn’t enough for all the issues I have. So I really don’t know what else to do. Doesn’t seem to be much. Can’t be overstated how bad I am doing mentally. There’s just too much.

I have severe social anxiety and she’s a trauma therapist, which is what I need. I know I’m overthinking like crazy, but that doesn’t mean everything I’m thinking is irrational. I know I’m not going to be comfortable there. Idk who this person really is. I don’t have much trust for therapists after past experiences. I feel like I’m going to be judged or just embarrass myself.

Her office is in an odd looking building, no idea what it looks like inside. It’s closer to downtown and the parking around there is horrible and I’m afraid I won’t be able to find parking and will miss the appointment. My biggest worry at the moment. I know I’ll breakdown and panic if there’s no parking anywhere.

I need help so bad and it took me months to find someone. I’m hanging on by a thread and can’t handle it going bad like everything else in my life.