I made the appointment over a month ago. I don't understand what I’m supposed to do. I‘m just not allowed to get help at all now. I can’t wait any longer. My goddamn health and life is on the line but who gives a fuck?
I don’t really have anyone to talk to about my mental health or anything outside of my therapist, but that’s only once a week for one hour. It’s not enough and I don’t know what to do. My depression is getting much worse than it already was.
The main reason I keep avoiding it is because I’d have to get my blood drawn, and I hate that more than anything. I feel like whatever “coping tips” there are don’t do much to help. I still hate it. It’s too painful and takes too long. Just the thought of it going into my vein freaks me out.
I also have severe social anxiety, so that makes going difficult as well, but it’s mainly the blood work and the pain from that. I’ve been putting it off for months but I still can’t do it. I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
Last week was better, even after talking about losing my dad last year. I’ve only seen her for 2 months and last week was the only time it felt like I opened up a bit. But this week I shut down again and couldn’t really talk. I can’t get any words out when it happens.
Now I have to wait another week and I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this. I feel embarrassed after every appointment that’s like this. I wanted to tell her I’m sorry but couldn’t even do that.
She tried asking how I felt when I shut down and I couldn‘t even describe it because the words just don’t come out. I‘m not even sure what I’m feeling most of the time. I can’t put it into words here either. I just freeze.
No one understands just how fucking bad I’m doing. I’m so overwhelmed and there’s no one that actually fucking cares. I’m all alone in my head and my mind NEVER SHUTS UP.
I can’t do this alone. I don’t even know what to do. I can’t help myself nearly enough and there’s no one else to help. My mind has been getting so much worse since my dad died last year. And then my dog too. On top of the severe depression and severe social anxiety. And then endless fucking trauma...
Being so alone is making everything even worse than it already is. I feel like I’m completely trapped and hopeless and need to die but feel like I can’t do that either.
It’s been two months seeing her now. Just getting there and finding parking is extremely stressful for me. There’s too many people everywhere too. The location really sucks but I couldn’t find any trauma therapist around me that I would maybe be comfortable with. Barely any options.
But then the actual appointment with her is stressful too. I’m uncomfortable the entire time because of my social anxiety, and I don’t trust anyone, let alone therapists. I feel like I’m too mentally unstable for therapy. But there’s nothing else.
I shut down and freeze up during every appointment. Maybe dissociating or something too. I don’t even want to talk anymore because I’m afraid I’ll shut down again or have another mental breakdown like last time, after I left. I don’t even want to bring any of it up to her.
She mentioned last week that we keep going in circles. I get so overwhelmed and shut down and don’t think I can stop it. I’m afraid she’s going to tell me to see someone else.
It’s been a couple months seeing them now, and I’m just going in circles every week. I feel like I’m wasting time every week and don’t know how to stop. Even she mentioned it to me today. And I shut down again.
There‘s so much overwhelming me and I can’t think straight, worse in that moment. I was trying to not breakdown and cry. I‘m afraid she’s going to tell me to see someone else. I feel like I’m too depressed and traumatized for therapy. Idk how to stop anything I’m doing.
I don’t have a barber or anywhere to go. How am I supposed to go somewhere new? How am I supposed to just walk in and talk, as if I don’t have severe social anxiety? Idk what to even tell them. Idk how to explain what I want done to my hair.
I want someone that understands social anxiety and can help me but how am I supposed to find anything like that?
I can’t go to a place with a bunch of barbers inside. The last time I did that, there were like 20 people in total inside.
Wtf am I supposed to do??? I have no help or support. I have no fucking idea how I’m supposed to do anything. I can’t do this with my fucking anxiety...
I just can’t do this. I can’t do fucking anything. I keep doing the same shit every fucking day, which is not much of anything. I’m so depressed and overwhelmed with so many things. I give up and I just shut down.
How am I supposed to survive in this horrible world when I can’t take care of myself or handle myself in any way? And no one fucking cares. There’s no fucking help. I’m just supposed to do everything and magically know what to do.
I started therapy a month ago but that’s not enough. All mental health ”help” is the same bullshit. I’m so fucking tired and in so much pain. I can’t get myself to do anything. Stop telling me to break everything down into “smaller“ steps. I can’t do that either. I don’t want to do anything. I mentally can’t handle it.
They’re an online friend that I’ve known for a long time. I’ve struggled with talking for most of my life and have had severe social anxiety for at least half my life, but it’s gotten a lot worse this past year. Idk if online friends even count. He’s the only person I could consider a friend. I’ve known him for over a decade now, and I care about him as a friend. Idk how to make or keep friends anymore though.
Idk what to talk about. I never know what to say or how to respond. And then if I do message him, I’m wondering if I’m bothering him or if he’s annoyed I’m still talking to him or I’m worried I message him too much. I’m overthinking the whole time because idk what he’s thinking or how he views me. Getting one word responses from him often doesn’t help.
I’m afraid I’m going to lose him. Haven’t talked to him in almost a month. Idk if it’s because he’s been busy, or it’s because I can barely ever keep a conversation going anymore, or he doesn’t see me as a friend or care about me much. Maybe it’s all of those reasons. I’d ask him how he feels about me, but I have no idea how to word that or if that’d be weird.
I want to be able to talk to him more. We used to be closer, but it hasn’t felt that way in a few years. Feeling even more distant now. Really don’t know what to do. What do I talk about? What do I do?
It’d be easier if everyone there had social anxiety or something too. Although, idk if I would talk then either. I need people to talk to so bad though. The loneliness and isolation hurts so much.
I tired joining a couple groups before and it never works out because idk how to talk to people. I end up leaving soon after joining. It’d be nice to talk to others that are into the same things I am... but I can never just do it.
Not like I have any IRL friends. I’m 28 and idk what having a social life is like. I can’t even make friends online for fucks sake. It makes me feel like I’m not even human.
They are an online friend, but they’re the only friend I’ve had for the past 12 years. I just can’t ever keep a conversation going, or can never think of anything to say. My mind goes blank every time.
Haven’t even talked in almost 4 weeks. Idk if he even cares about me at all. Idk what I am to him. I struggle with talking so much. I’m afraid of losing the only person that I’ve had since high school.
How do you talk to others when you have severe social anxiety and almost nonexistent social skills?
They’re an online friend that I’ve known for a long time. I’ve struggled with talking for most of my life and have had severe social anxiety for at least half my life, but it’s gotten a lot worse this past year. Idk if online friends even count. He’s the only person I could consider a friend. I’ve known him for over a decade now, and I care about him as a friend. Idk how to make or keep friends anymore though.
I’m afraid I’m going to lose him too. Haven’t talked to him in a few weeks. Idk if it’s because he’s been busy, or it’s because I can barely ever keep a conversation going anymore, or he doesn’t see me as a friend or care about me much. Maybe it’s all of those reasons.
I’d ask him, but I have no idea how to word that or if that’d be weird. I can’t even talk in general anymore. I never know what to say or how to respond. And then if I do message him, I’m wondering if I’m bothering him or if he’s annoyed I’m still talking to him or I’m worried I message him too much. I’m overthinking the whole time because idk what he’s thinking or how he views me.
I want to be able to talk to him more. We used to be closer, but it hasn’t felt that way in a few years. Feeling even more distant now. It hurts more because I’m isolated in my life everywhere else. It hurts not having anyone to talk to, or not feeling capable of speaking to others.
I’m sorry this is long. No one’s going to read this but idk what to do. How do you talk to others when you have severe social anxiety and almost nonexistent social skills?
Nothing helps. No one gives a shit. There’s nothing that can help. I can’t do anything to stop it. I can’t fucking stop. My brain doesn’t shut the fuck up. Therapy isn‘t helping and isn’t enough. There’s nothing else. I don’t have anyone that can help. No one fucking cares. No one has any idea what to do and neither do I.
I should be in a fucking hospital of some kind but America is a shithole failed country so I can’t afford it. They wouldn't help anyway. I’m too mentally fucked at this point. I’m going to fucking die.
Been a month of seeing her now. All I’ve really done is vent to her. There’s so much that’s been overwhelming me, and I get caught up in the venting, and then an hour has already passed. Is that supposed to be it?
There’s been no time for anything really. An hour once a week isn’t nearly enough, and that’s been my thought after every appointment this past month. I have so many mental health issues that I desperately want help with.
Idk how to even feel about her at this point. Don’t know if I should continue with her, but I don’t want to find someone else now because I wasn’t able to find anyone else helps with trauma. I don’t know what to think or do. Just venting isn’t enough, but I don’t think anything would help me anyway. I need help but don’t know what that even looks like.
I feel like she’s judging me or something. I’m uncomfortable the entire time I’m there because of my anxiety. Idk how else I feel talking to her. Idk if anyone would be a “good fit” for me. I just don’t know anymore. I can’t think straight. I’m sorry.
It’s so stressful getting there and driving down there, the parking is beyond horrible, and I don’t know if there’s anything to help with any of that. And then I’m so uncomfortable the whole time I’m sitting there on the couch.
It’s my 5th time seeing her, but it honestly feels pointless to go. I feel like I’m making a mistake going to them, but I can’t find anyone else around me that helps with trauma. I don’t trust anyone and I don’t know how to ever be comfortable. It’s incredibly difficult for me to talk cuz of my social anxiety, and my mind goes blank all the time and I just can’t focus or calm myself.
Everything feels so hopeless. I don’t know what else to say. I’m just dreading going there now.
This happened almost 6 months ago already. It feels like I haven’t really grieved losing her, because of how it all happened. I also lost my dad in January last year too, and that‘s overshadowed everything. But she was family too and I miss her so much. It wasn’t her time to go.
We had a pet sitter watch her when we went to Florida for Christmas, so my mom and I could be with family. The sitter neglected her, forcing us to have to put her down on New Years Eve, 3 hours before midnight. Our dog may have been 9 years old and had some hip issues, but she had been on medication and was okay.
She could no longer walk at all when we picked her up from the sitter though. They never contacted us to tell us she stopped walking and couldn’t get up. She was always updating my mom on how our dog was doing, but not this time.
She was a Great Dane, so we couldn’t just pick her up. When the lady was on the phone with the fire department, she said our dog had been on the floor for 36 hours. Her and her boyfriend didn’t care. They just wanted us out of their house.
They killed her, and had no empathy or care at all for us. They treated us so horribly, while our dog is laying on their hardwood floor and can no longer walk. And then they got away with it. Because evil people always get away with whatever they want.
I feel like I haven’t been able to grieve my dog at all. I loved her so much. Of course losing my dad would hurt so much more, but I can’t ever think of her without remembering those heartless people caused her death. I have so much hate in my heart for them.
Should’ve never gone to see family. Should’ve never traveled. I have enough trauma and guilt with my dad’s death. Now I have more trauma and guilt for my dog. I feel like I failed them both. Idk how I’m supposed to live with that.
I just miss her so much. I want my dog back. I want my dad back. I just want everything to go back to normal.
Seeing a therapist once a week for an hour isn’t enough, and that’s become clearer after a few appointments with a new therapist I’m seeing. It can’t be overstated how bad I’m doing mentally and how hopeless I feel. I‘m overwhelmed with so many problems.
I’ve had past therapists, but most of them made me feel worse. I did an outpatient program years ago but that was a waste of time, didn’t help me in any way, and was way too expensive. I’ve tried a dozen medications that never helped me either.
What else is there? I’m really afraid there’s nothing that can help me, and I‘m too mentally exhausted and broken to truly help myself. I can barely do anything. I’m at a complete loss.
Seeing a therapist once a week for an hour isn’t enough, and that’s become clearer after a few appointments with a new therapist I’m seeing. It can’t be overstated how bad I’m doing mentally and how hopeless I feel. I‘m overwhelmed with far too many problems. I can’t help myself.
I did an outpatient program years ago but that was a worthless waste of time and way too expensive. What else is there? I’ve tried a dozen medications that never helped me either.
I‘m afraid I’m a lost cause. Idk how or if I can get to a point where I can truly help myself. The depression is beyond severe at this point, and my social anxiety is worse than ever. “Professional help” as a whole for mental health feels like a cruel joke, especially if your problems are severe enough.
Seriously, what the fuck else is left? I feel like my only option left is to die. Not like anyone gives a fuck.
There isn’t a conscious moment where it’s not. Hundreds of problems and thoughts that never stop. I’m so overwhelmed, my brain is just paralyzed. No one in my life understands or cares to help.
I end up doing nothing every day and everything continues to get progressively worse. I’m going to either die in the near future or suffer more in some other way, even though I’m suffering enough as it is.
I can’t handle the depression anymore. Or the trauma and anxiety. Or the intense grief with my dad gone. I’m so fucking tired. I just want it all to end.