u/LifespanLearner

I’m 35 and I’ve been struggling with low confidence and self esteem for a long time. I constantly think about what other people think of me. Even after a simple conversation I can replay what I said and how I said it. I wonder if I should have said something differently. Sometimes it stays in my head for hours or even days.

I also get triggered by small things. If someone is trying to one up me or show off their success I can get annoyed or insecure. Even if I don’t say anything I start questioning myself. Why am I bothered by this? Why am I comparing myself to them? Why am I letting someone else affect me? Why can’t I just be happy for them?

Sometimes I wonder if my own ego is stopping me from actually living my life. Why do I care so much about how I look to other people? Why am I afraid of being myself around others? Why is it difficult for me to genuinely feel happy when someone else is doing better or has better financial stability? We are all just people. So why do I turn someone else’s success into something that makes me question my own worth Even though I know what I’m doing and what I’m making is good enough, seeing someone who seems far ahead can send me into a spiral about how I should be doing more, making more or achieving more. I struggle to appreciate where I am without comparing myself to someone else.

The same thing happens when I get angry or frustrated. I might react in a way I later regret. Then I spend hours thinking about it and feeling guilty. I don’t want to suppress my emotions. I just don’t want to keep getting triggered and reacting in ways that I wish I could take back.

I honestly want to understand where this low self esteem comes from. Why do I constantly need to think about how others see me? Why can’t I just be comfortable being myself?

Another thing I’ve been wondering about is why anger seems to be the strongest emotion I feel. Sometimes anger feels easier and more intense for me than even love or happiness. I don’t know if I’ve just learned to express anger more easily or if there’s something deeper going on.

I want to stop comparing myself to everyone else. I want to stop letting small things get under my skin. Most of all I want to be able to feel something without immediately judging myself for it. Has anyone else gone through this? How did you learn to trust yourself and stop living so much in your head?

I have a 3 year old son and I’m terrified that the things I’m still trying to fix in myself will someday become the things he thinks are wrong with him. I don’t want him to inherit my battles. I want him to inherit a father who fought hard enough to end them.

With the cost of living getting higher and the economy feeling uncertain, I’m curious what people here think are the most reliable ways to make a good living.

For those who have been through different economic downturns, what industries, trades, professions or businesses have you seen remain stable and in demand?

And if you are a parent, what kind of career, trade, profession or business would you want your kids to get into if they asked you for advice?

Like completely from scratch, learning a new skill and starting at the bottom. What careers do you think would be worth making that kind of change for?

Curious to hear from people who’ve actually done it or thinking about it.

How did it work out for you financially and personally? Was it worth it in the end, or do you wish you'd done something differently?

Just curious to hear some real experiences from people who've actually made the change.

I could really use some advice because this has been bothering me for a while.

I have a great relationship with my in laws and I genuinely want to keep it that way. We all live close by, so we see each other every few days. The problem is my sister in law. Almost every conversation somehow becomes about her. If someone shares good news, she has a bigger story. If someone talks about an achievement, she jumps in with hers. It feels like everything turns into a competition.

I do not think she is a bad person, but after years of this I have started feeling really irritated. Even my in laws notice it, but everyone just ignores it to keep the peace and they admitted it.

The part I feel guilty about is that I have started dreading family visits. I love spending time with my nephew and niece and I do not want to avoid my family. I also do not want to start drama or confront her.

Has anyone dealt with someone like this? How did you stop feeling so frustrated without hurting the relationship? I would really appreciate any advice.

I've tried a lot of the usual breakfast foods but he's not interested. I don't expect every meal to be perfect but I'd love to find a few breakfast options that are filling and reasonably healthy. I'm hoping to steal a few ideas from parents who have been through the same phase.

My son is three years old and I have been thinking a lot about how easy it is to miss things while you are in the middle of raising a child.

I am hoping to learn from parents who have already walked this path.

Looking back, what is something you wish you had done more of, less of, started earlier, or stopped doing altogether? It could be how you spoke to them, how you handled difficult moments, traditions you wish you had created, opportunities you missed, or simply something you did not understand until your children were much older.

I am not looking for perfect parenting because I know that does not exist. I am looking for the kind of wisdom that only hindsight can give. The lessons you could never have learned from a parenting book. The things you wish someone had told you earlier.

I would genuinely love to hear the lessons that changed you, so I can carry them with me while I still have the chance.

Just genuinely curious to hear from people who figured it out quicker than most. Respect to everyone still grinding too 👊