Unfortunately I will likely have to pirate Bellum if I want to play it. As much as I would love to support the dev team my parents will not let me get the game & I have no other way to get the money to them. Should I just stay away from this completely or would piracy be justifiable? (hypothetical I most likely wont play it at all)
as stated above, ive self harmed after 2 clean months. with a fucking stick, how pathetic is that. but its the intent thst scares me
Some notes before I start:
Reddit mobile web is stupid and doesnt show dms, if you dm me I cannot see it. Please keep the conversation here or lmk here and ill check on a computer.
Tw: Self-Harm, Suicidal thoughts.
This is the first time posting here (I think) and I honestly just need to vent/get some advice. Let me preface all this by saying that I have adhd and am slightly autistic, however I am still high functioning.
Around december/january I started getting really depressed. I dont know why, I just remember it started around then. Theyve gotten much worse especially iver the past 2 or so months. About 2 months ago I started cutting myself, I used a piece of glass on my arm. I was in a loop of just venting to my friend and then coming up with more stuff to vent about, and when I cut myself I was thinking about how I would word telling my friend. I sort of started switching between hating myself for cutting myself because I feel like its attention seeking, cutting myself, telling my friend, and then hating myself for it. A few weeks ago my mom saw my arms. I lied and told her that it was because I was bored and id only dont it once. I think she believes me. I cant tell my parents because it would mean they knew I bypassed the parental controls on my phone and have been using discord, which they think is full of only pedos. I stopped cutting my arms and started cutting my fingertips. until a few days ago when I found the shards of glass gone. Im not alarmed by this because it was probably just someone cleaning. I write a lot of stuff down physically and 2 weeks ago my dad found it and confronted me about it. I thought he had read the notes (meaning he knew about why I actually cut myself) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour and had a panic attack. Thankfully he couldnt read my handwriting and was concerned that ppl on roblox were convincing me to self harm. I assured him that they werent and threw away all my notes. That pretty much sums up whats happened so far objectively, now Im going to go into more detail in my thoughts.
I dont think I really hate myself. Objectively I think I should. If I didnt follow how to win friends and influence people and instead just interacted normally, people would hate me. Id have no friends. Yet I still cant bring myself to really, genuinely hate myself. I feel like whenever I write out my thoughts or vent or even when I fucking cut myself that im just seeking attention. Instead of my writings being unorganized Ill usually write in structured paragraphs. Ill use stuff like rhetorical questions, sometimes ill even write a fucking hook. Even thought it might be just my writing style but it still makes me feel like a fraud. When I cut myself I think about telling other people, instead of what you'd expect (Self-Hate). I also only started to think these things after I realised I can talk to people about them. I feel like im just seeking pity points or something.
Additionally I only think about these things when Im alone and not doing anything. Im able to ignore it most of the time. Which I feel illegitamises it.
I think about death a lot. I will never kill myself, Id never put my family and friends through the pain and the guilt, and rob myself of a life never lived (and also if there is a god most religions frown upon it)
I dont want to die, I just dont want to live.
I might add more later.
Please dont tell me to go to therapy, as ive discussed above I dont feel comfortable sharing with my parents. And I cant even talk to my friends over the phone let alone face to face about this. I can only do it in writing.
Please never kill yourself.
Some notes before I start:
Reddit mobile web is stupid and doesnt show dms, if you dm me I cannot see it. Please keep the conversation here or lmk here and ill check on a computer.
Tw: Self-Harm, Suicidal thoughts.
This is the first time posting here (I think) and I honestly just need to vent/get some advice. Let me preface all this by saying that I have adhd and am slightly autistic, however I am still high functioning.
Around december/january I started getting really depressed. I dont know why, I just remember it started around then. Theyve gotten much worse especially iver the past 2 or so months. About 2 months ago I started cutting myself, I used a piece of glass on my arm. I was in a loop of just venting to my friend and then coming up with more stuff to vent about, and when I cut myself I was thinking about how I would word telling my friend. I sort of started switching between hating myself for cutting myself because I feel like its attention seeking, cutting myself, telling my friend, and then hating myself for it. A few weeks ago my mom saw my arms. I lied and told her that it was because I was bored and id only dont it once. I think she believes me. I cant tell my parents because it would mean they knew I bypassed the parental controls on my phone and have been using discord, which they think is full of only pedos. I stopped cutting my arms and started cutting my fingertips. until a few days ago when I found the shards of glass gone. Im not alarmed by this because it was probably just someone cleaning. I write a lot of stuff down physically and 2 weeks ago my dad found it and confronted me about it. I thought he had read the notes (meaning he knew about why I actually cut myself) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour and had a panic attack. Thankfully he couldnt read my handwriting and was concerned that ppl on roblox were convincing me to self harm. I assured him that they werent and threw away all my notes. That pretty much sums up whats happened so far objectively, now Im going to go into more detail in my thoughts.
I dont think I really hate myself. Objectively I think I should. If I didnt follow how to win friends and influence people and instead just interacted normally, people would hate me. Id have no friends. Yet I still cant bring myself to really, genuinely hate myself. I feel like whenever I write out my thoughts or vent or even when I fucking cut myself that im just seeking attention. Instead of my writings being unorganized Ill usually write in structured paragraphs. Ill use stuff like rhetorical questions, sometimes ill even write a fucking hook. Even thought it might be just my writing style but it still makes me feel like a fraud. When I cut myself I think about telling other people, instead of what you'd expect (Self-Hate). I also only started to think these things after I realised I can talk to people about them. I feel like im just seeking pity points or something.
Additionally I only think about these things when Im alone and not doing anything. Im able to ignore it most of the time. Which I feel illegitamises it.
I think about death a lot. I will never kill myself, Id never put my family and friends through the pain and the guilt, and rob myself of a life never lived (and also if there is a god most religions frown upon it)
I dont want to die, I just dont want to live.
I might add more later.
Please dont tell me to go to therapy, as ive discussed above I dont feel comfortable sharing with my parents. And I cant even talk to my friends over the phone let alone face to face about this. I can only do it in writing.
Please never kill yourself.
Some notes before I start:
Reddit mobile web is stupid and doesnt show dms, if you dm me I cannot see it. Please keep the conversation here or lmk here and ill check on a computer.
Tw: Self-Harm, Suicidal thoughts.
This is the first time posting here (I think) and I honestly just need to vent/get some advice. Let me preface all this by saying that I have adhd and am slightly autistic, however I am still high functioning.
Around december/january I started getting really depressed. I dont know why, I just remember it started around then. Theyve gotten much worse especially iver the past 2 or so months. About 2 months ago I started cutting myself, I used a piece of glass on my arm. I was in a loop of just venting to my friend and then coming up with more stuff to vent about, and when I cut myself I was thinking about how I would word telling my friend. I sort of started switching between hating myself for cutting myself because I feel like its attention seeking, cutting myself, telling my friend, and then hating myself for it. A few weeks ago my mom saw my arms. I lied and told her that it was because I was bored and id only dont it once. I think she believes me. I cant tell my parents because it would mean they knew I bypassed the parental controls on my phone and have been using discord, which they think is full of only pedos. I stopped cutting my arms and started cutting my fingertips. until a few days ago when I found the shards of glass gone. Im not alarmed by this because it was probably just someone cleaning. I write a lot of stuff down physically and 2 weeks ago my dad found it and confronted me about it. I thought he had read the notes (meaning he knew about why I actually cut myself) so I locked myself in the bathroom for an hour and had a panic attack. Thankfully he couldnt read my handwriting and was concerned that ppl on roblox were convincing me to self harm. I assured him that they werent and threw away all my notes. That pretty much sums up whats happened so far objectively, now Im going to go into more detail in my thoughts.
I dont think I really hate myself. Objectively I think I should. If I didnt follow how to win friends and influence people and instead just interacted normally, people would hate me. Id have no friends. Yet I still cant bring myself to really, genuinely hate myself. I feel like whenever I write out my thoughts or vent or even when I fucking cut myself that im just seeking attention. Instead of my writings being unorganized Ill usually write in structured paragraphs. Ill use stuff like rhetorical questions, sometimes ill even write a fucking hook. Even thought it might be just my writing style but it still makes me feel like a fraud. When I cut myself I think about telling other people, instead of what you'd expect (Self-Hate). I also only started to think these things after I realised I can talk to people about them. I feel like im just seeking pity points or something.
Additionally I only think about these things when Im alone and not doing anything. Im able to ignore it most of the time. Which I feel illegitamises it.
I think about death a lot. I will never kill myself, Id never put my family and friends through the pain and the guilt, and rob myself of a life never lived (and also if there is a god most religions frown upon it)
I dont want to die, I just dont want to live.
I might add more later.
Please dont tell me to go to therapy, as ive discussed above I dont feel comfortable sharing with my parents. And I cant even talk to my friends over the phone let alone face to face about this. I can only do it in writing.
Please never kill yourself.
Mods I dont know why my user flair isnt showing. As stated in the title im 14m. please dont ban me
Hi all! I am looking into driving cars in the legends class at eastbound park /eastbound speedway and have been practicing in the sim. However despite me setting the ai difficulty to max, I am able to pass them rather easily. however on a circuit the Ai is around 2 seconds a lap quicker.
I am using the 1934 legends cars mod on overtake and the hickock speedway. can someone please help my plight? (I have no modding experience whatsoever so please explain any solution in baby terms as detailed as possible if it involves coding)
Is there a specific process for doing so. I know barely anything about tourettes but ive seen clips of people ticcing and they jerk around quite a bit. Do you have to be restrained in any way so as not to get cut by the razor?
14M
So for the past month or two ive started experiencing pain in my testicles (usually my left) it comes in the form of being really sensitive and hurts when touched even by clothing. It usually only lasts 30 minutes to an hour before going away and usually happens around once or twice a week. It is not debilitating but it does cause a large amount of discomfort until it goes away. I often notice it because of a pain in my gut and then realize whats happening. lying down brings relief and any contact or pressure causes a lot of pain. Has anybody else experienced this? i dont know what could be causing it as it seems to be able to start no matter what im doing.
If theres anything that i can do to prevent this please tell me.
recently got into motorsport so thankfully didnt see it live but its still absolutely insane.