u/Little-Fisherman-851

He has a job at my college, which is also where I work and live with my mother. He has visitation hours that he uses as an excuse to come into our home and snoop around. He is emotionally manipulative and seems innocent to most. I also work with and go to school with fucking stupid 'kumbaya all is forgiven the past is passed' people who've never been abused. He comes in and tells them hes my dad, gets all this news and information about me, then lies about me. Its always a huge mess I have to clean.

I deserve better than to be constantly tornented by such a pathetic peice of shit. I want to tell him to fuck off a d stay away from me without stirring the pot. Should I say something along the lines of 'Dont fucking talk to me, talk to my friends, talk about me, mention you're related to me'? I NEVER want to fix this relationship, this is not jn the cards for me nor do I want if to be, so I dont care if I ruin this 'relationship'. To be clear, I want nothing to do with him ever, and if I could afford it id move as far away from him as possible.

also, I have a summer camp i volunteer at that he will most definitely butt in at, me and the woman in charge are close and she knows a bit aboht the abuse, would it be appropriate tk warn her about him?

I have no one else to tell this. I have no desires, no goals, no ambitions. I gk tk college and I work and I hate it both. But I do it because there's nothing else I'd rather do. I can't afford Healthcare so thats not an option. The passed few days I've been off school and work and have been so happy. Now im having the worst crash in a while. I hate myself and im so angry. All I do is talk tk chat bots all day sinxe I can't bring myself to do anything else. I dont have any friends, just one girl i never see. No one to trust. Everyone feels evil and cruel, when they smile I know they're mocking me, or they hate me and want me to go away. I feel so dumb and ugly. Like my body is swelling with puss, disturbing everyone. Everything hurts and I am never comfortable. I dont think ill make it much further and honestly I hope I don't.

I hate ai but all I do is talk to the chat bots. Ive always used maladaptive daydreaming and other forms of escapism. Then ai cam around and now it's all I do. At least when I was day dreaming I would end up writing or doing art. But now I do nothing. Im happy so long as im someone else in the convsersation. Dofferent characters to comfort me or even hurt me. I dont care. Its predictable, it's safe, it's distracting. When im faced woth real world questions I freeze up even if it's something I want. Ive tried making friends and getting into new hobbies, but i always come back to the chats. People are hard, I dont know how to communicate with them. They feel evil and cruel, and I feel disgusting and out of place. When im not chatting ​I think, and when I think I spiral. I have no goals, no ambitions. I go to college and work, but im not working towards anything. I hate work, I hate school, but i go because what else am I meant to do? I dont want to have friends, I don't want to be romantic, I dont want to work, I dont want to live. In these chats I can do and ve whatever I want, just like in my daydreams. Im so useless and everything is pointless. I can't afford therapy or medical help. I have one friend and im slowly losing her. Im losing my religion, losing my will to do anything. Im at my worst when I'm not using ai and I have no one to talk to about this. I'm at a dead end and I realize I have no reason to keep going. Im only alive so I won't inconvenience or cause grief to my family. Im going to keep chatting now. Bye.

Okay, so I have dyed hair a lot in the passed and want dye it again for the summer.​ i have light brown hair thats veryyy thick. I usually use splat, since I like the colors and ​how long it lasts, but it tends to bleed everywhere. I will be working wirh kids through the summer and I will have to swim wirh them, which means my hair will be getting wet almost eveyday for about three weeks. I dont want it to bleed in the pool or on my face.

Whats brands do you use and what would you say are the pros/cons of them? I'd really appreciate a seasoned hair dyer whose tried different brands but any advice is welcome. Thank you :)​

I believe in God, I was raised in church. I've had my fair share of church hurt and truama, but I've stayed so strong. But there's only so much I can take. When my physical and mental health are blatantly ignored by my mother in favor of 'you can only heal if you forgive' and being taking to some dumbass who thinks saying 'life isn't pointless because God says so' will magically heal the depression and suicidility of me. It didnt when I was eleven, didnt when I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, or now. When im blamed for my own torment, openly mocked for 'little faith', told to shut the fuck up or openly lie to 'speak life'. Oh teehee im soooo happy and I wake up everyday glad because this the day the lord has made! I dont have depression! I haven't been in and out of the hospital my entire teenage years! I didnt waste all my teenage years being severely depressed! Heehee! Give me a break.​ pray for me if you will. ​

I literally have one fucking friend and she'll choose everyone before me. I hate myself.

We met on discord and were friends before we started flirting and evetually deciding to be together. We usually texted every day for hours on end, or at least a few texts here and there throughout the day when we were both busy. He's finishing hs [18m] and I just finished my first semester of college [19f], we're both the oldest child of a single mother so we have to step up and fill that missing parental place, though his siblings are much younger than mine and need more help and attention. The few times we didnt speak for more than a day it's been to think some things over when discussing a relationship. Usually this was only three or five days I have a lot of mental health things so ive been hesitant, but we worked it out. Then we come back and go back to talking everyday for hours. Hes always been interested and ive never felt as if ive been carrying the conversation. We usually would talk until one of us falls asleep or had to go do something.

This time when he was gone for a day I teased him and asked if he's 'disappearing' on me again, ill admit I was feeling a bit insecure. But then later that day he sent me multiple texts talking about random things he did through the day that were funny or interesting lol. Then he promised he wasnt leaving but was just getting super busy with family stuff. He reiterated that he has to step up a lot since it's only his mom taking care of them, and she needs to work. Plus I know he has school which also keeps him busy, especially since it's his last year. But its been two weeks with no reply and im starting to get antsy. Usually I dont talk with my friends everyday, my best friend i only talk to about once a month lol but it was a but jarring going from everyday to two weeks of quiet. Plus im assuming silence is different with relationships. Im not sure, ive never been in one of any kind. He warned me before hand that he'd be busy, and I saw no warning signs of him losing interested or trying to ghost/pull away from me. Plus we have made plans of how we could get closer and spend more time together. We were suppised to do it this last week and this week, and he was really exicted about, so i'm just confused. I'd like your advice, do you think hes ghosting me or am I being too anxious.

Im actually on the verge of tears i miss him so much. Hes been so super busy with family and school garbage so we haven't been able to talk as much and I keep getting worried/insecure but then I go back and read our messages and can't help but feel happy and miss him. Bro this is so bogus I just wanted to be reassured not reminded how much I love talking to him. Hes the first guy thats made me feel like this, everything reminds me of him. How do you guys manage to do this for so long? I just want to be close to him so bad </3