u/LogicalEngineering80

So I was just eating my lunch, and was going to finish my protein shake, things were going pretty ok and I was enjoying it all. That’s when a friend walks into the room, and I immediately start to feel agitated and wishing that they would just leave me tf alone(?) they asked me how my lunch was, and for some odd reason it pissed me off even more. The part that really confuses/bothers me, is that I fucking lied and told her that I didn’t enjoy it(???) I am genuinely so frustrated by this, because it doesn’t even make sense for me to feel this way or lie about it. If anybody has struggled the same, or done this as well, any insight as to why I might have felt the “need” to react in this way would be great.

I’ve been really wanting to let myself have a snack/treat a day as part of my meal plan, and have been stuck ruminating in fear of all that *could* go wrong in almost all regards. Today though, my mom was going to eat some bagged popcorn and offered some to me, after all of these years of fear, and all of this rumination that I’ve had these past weeks, I finally broke the rules and said yes! It was amazing, just enjoying popcorn with my family and not letting Annie’s screams stop me from it :)

(So I’m hoping that it’s ok to share my recovery goal wins on here?)

I’ve been really wanting to let myself have a snack/treat a day as part of my meal plan, and have been stuck ruminating in fear of all that could go wrong in almost all regards. Today though, my mom was going to eat some bagged popcorn and offered some to me, after all of these years of fear, and all of this rumination that I’ve had these past weeks, I finally broke the rules and said yes! It was amazing, just enjoying popcorn with my family and not letting Annie’s screams stop me from it :)

Hello, I am in anorexia/ed(quasi)recovery, and as we all know, fear foods play a major role in it. While I have been able to keep up with 3 meals a day, I still cannot seem to grasp the idea of eating(or drinking) “treats” or having a snack. I’m very much afraid of “unhealthy” foods and if I do eat something that I deem “bad”, I try to make sure that I counteract it(which is kind of annoying ngl), but that being said, I’m really wanting to integrate the allowance of a treat into my meal plan, and was hoping to be able to go out and get a frosty or froyo with my friend today. I’ve been stuck on this since yesterday, worrying that I’m making a mistake, or am going to make things harder on me(I really don’t want to relapse the work that I’ve already put in) but I also know that the only way out is through. If anybody has been through this same kind of spiral/rumination/fear, any tips would be of great help. Thankyou!

I hope that it’s ok to post here, this is a repost from ED communities, but I feel that you guys may be of help in some aspect, if you have been through this. As the title states, I am currently in recovery from anorexia, and my height is somewhere near 5’0. I have always been short, and it’s affected me my entire life. This is not the single driving force of my eating disorders, but it definitely is a big contributor, as I feel that I need to be as small and frail as possible to look truly slender, taller, and attractive, as well as to steer away from my height and other imperfections, and make others worry about me, instead of make fun of me. I also struggle with feelings of possible gender dysphoria(undiagnosed), and I only feel aligned /happy with myself when I am slender/skin n bones/appear tall. I know that I cannot live my life in this way anymore, and I want to truly recovery and be/eat \\\*normal\\\*. When I begin to think over what that would look like, I feel stuck in this quasi state that I have been in, as if I raise my calories per day, I will most likely look much “thicker” on what still wouldn’t even be enough to be able to eat at restaurants or have snacks/desserts or eat what feels like a free amount. So it makes \\\*true recovery\\\* feel pointless, and as if I’ll be in quasi forever just to maintain a weight/body that I’m not even happy with. If anybody has recovered in this same position, and has tips or advice on how you did it, thanks in advance.

As the title states, I am currently in recovery from anorexia, and my height is somewhere near 5’0. I have always been short, and it’s affected me my entire life. This is not the single driving force of my eating disorders, but it definitely is a big contributor, as I feel that I need to be as small and frail as possible to look truly slender, taller, and attractive, as well as to steer away from my height and other imperfections, and make others worry about me, instead of make fun of me. I also struggle with feelings of possible gender dysphoria(undiagnosed), and I only feel aligned /happy with myself when I am slender/skin n bones/appear tall. I know that I cannot live my life in this way anymore, and I want to truly recovery and be/eat \*normal\*. When I begin to think over what that would look like, I feel stuck in this quasi state that I have been in, as if I raise my calories per day, I will most likely look much “thicker” on what still wouldn’t even be enough to be able to eat at restaurants or have snacks/desserts or eat what feels like a free amount. So it makes \*true recovery\* feel pointless, and as if I’ll be in quasi forever just to maintain a weight/body that I’m not even happy with. If anybody has recovered in this same position, and has tips or advice on how you did it, thanks in advance.

As the title states, I am currently in recovery from anorexia, and my height is somewhere near 5’0. I have always been short, and it’s affected me my entire life. This is not the single driving force of my eating disorders, but it definitely is a big contributor, as I feel that I need to be as small and frail as possible to look truly slender, taller, and attractive, as well as to steer away from my height and other imperfections, and make others worry about me, instead of make fun of me. I also struggle with feelings of possible gender dysphoria(undiagnosed), and I only feel aligned /happy with myself when I am slender/skin n bones/appear tall. I know that I cannot live my life in this way anymore, and I want to truly recovery and be/eat *normal*. When I begin to think over what that would look like, I feel stuck in this quasi state that I have been in, as if I raise my calories per day, I will most likely look much “thicker” on what still wouldn’t even be enough to be able to eat at restaurants or have snacks/desserts or eat what feels like a free amount. So it makes *true recovery* feel pointless, and as if I’ll be in quasi forever just to maintain a weight/body that I’m not even happy with. If anybody has recovered in this same position, and has tips or advice on how you did it, thanks in advance.

As the title states, I am currently in recovery from anorexia, and my height is somewhere near 5’0. I have always been short, and it’s affected me my entire life. This is not the single driving force of my eating disorders, but it definitely is a big contributor, as I feel that I need to be as small and frail as possible to look truly slender, taller, and attractive, as well as to steer away from my height and other imperfections, and make others worry about me, instead of make fun of me. I also struggle with feelings of possible gender dysphoria(undiagnosed), and I only feel aligned /happy with myself when I am slender/skin n bones/appear tall. I know that I cannot live my life in this way anymore, and I want to truly recovery and be/eat normal. When I begin to think over what that would look like, I feel stuck in this quasi state that I have been in, as if I raise my calories per day, I will most likely look much “thicker” on what still wouldn’t even be enough to be able to eat at restaurants or have snacks/desserts or eat what feels like a free amount. So it makes true recovery feel pointless, and as if I’ll be in quasi forever just to maintain a weight/body that I’m not even happy with. If anybody has recovered in this same position, and has tips or advice on how you did it, thanks in advance.

Trigger warning for terminology.

>!Hello, I am hoping that this is allowed. I am currently in anorexia recovery, I also struggle with severe OCD/perfectionism and am Orthorexic(I believe). I am seeking out help from those who have faced similar issues and mental distress as I have, and managed to recover/face their fears and find peace. Right now, I am obsessively bothered and stuck on the idea of eating an “unhealthy” vs “healthy” food, macros checking, food health comparing, uncertainty on if a food is “ok” to eat or not, along with if I would lose control and/or eat it all of the time(because I have been known to fixate on a food and make that my daily intake), and what that would do to me/my body if I were to do that, if it will cause weight gain or other effects to my body because its “unhealthy”, or if I don’t know if it is “unhealthy” but I am unaware, if I’m right or wrong for wanting to eat “unhealthy” foods, and honestly just alot of what feels like intense and possibly unnecessary paranoia. If you have any advice on how to get over the fear of meat/fruit/veggies/ready meals with varying ingredients, and the possible inaccuracies of them, that would be great too. I want to learn how to trust myself, and be freed from these disorders, any help/guidance would be nice, thank you.!<