u/Logical_Door_5900

So my sister is 31 and pregnant and now half my family thinks im an asshole because i finally snapped at her fiancé. Hes one of those fake calm guys who says rude shit with a smile so if you react you look crazy. At thanksgiving he asked if i was still doing my little photography thing even though its my full time job. Another time he made some joke about women panic marrying after 30. My sister laughed both times even though growing up she used to cry to me about our dad acting exactly like that toward our mom.

This weekend they had a backyard dinner for the babys gender reveal. Everything was mostly fine until her fiancé started talking about how now that theyre having a son he can keep him away from emotional women. Then he pointed at me and said thats why your aunt is single with three cats.

I only have one cat btw.

My sister laughed again and something in me snapped. I said yeah well at least im not marrying someone who talks exactly like dad.

Whole table went dead silent. Her fiancé instantly started acting offended saying i was disrespectful in his home. My mom started crying. My sister looked furious and later texted me saying i ruined her night because im bitter and alone and jealous of her relationship.

My brother secretly agrees with me but says i shouldve kept my mouth shut for the sake of the party.

Maybe i should have. But watching her laugh while her fiancé kept taking little digs at people made me feel sick because it reminded me so much of our mom pretending our dads comments were funny just to keep the peace.

I asked my husband to take our 19 month old with him this morning to drop my daughter off at school. I asked him so that I could use the bathroom alone. Every time I try to poop my son either screams outside the door or wants to sit on my lap. My husband took him and ran into traffic. Roads closed, trains stuck, etc. Until they were driving for an hour. My son wasnt happy about it and screamed the whole time. My husband gets home and starts screaming that it's not fair to our son that I lock him in a chair in the car for an hour so that I can use the bathroom. He says I'm the asshole because our son shouldn't have to deal with that.

I replied that I guess we can't take our son anywhere anymore since he's noy allowed to be locked up at all. AITA?

My partner 30M has a diagnosed learning disability, he literally doesn’t process verbal information fast enough. I try to keep up but it gets exhausting when I repeat things twice and he won’t even look up from his phone. Everyone keeps telling me how much of a good guy he is which is frustrating because I know what I deal with every day and I am also a good person. Idk why this triggers me so much but it does. We are on a trip for a friends wedding, 15 minutes before we had to leave for the ceremony, he realized he forgot to bring a bow tie to the black tie wedding. We arrived late to the church after the bride walked the aisle because he made the uber drive around MULTIPLE STORES trying to find a bow tie. And of course everyone we meet along the way is always like “poor guy, it happens to anyone” and I’m just the hateful b.

The next day we were taking another flight to go visit my family, he forgot that he had medicine in the hotel fridge and didn’t remember until we were at the airport, so we had to ask the taxi driver to drive back to the hotel and pay double the fair of course. When we got to our destination he complained about the car reservation I made because I selected an automatic car in case I wanted or needed to drive and I didn’t want to change it to manual.

Yesterday during a tour he forgot his charger at a restaurant far from where we are staying and wanted to make the tour guide take us back to get it. Today, we are driving to another city and we have to go out of our way to back to get the effing charger.

Instance number four and why I’m writing this post because it was my final straw. I have taken care of everything in this trip, flights, stays, tours, restaurants etc. All except transportation to get to the next city because we weren’t sure if we were going to take a bus, train or road trip. I’m tired and I asked him to make a car rental reservation so he could go get the car and I could sleep in a little bit. Well… he did the reservation, but he did it under my name because supposedly “I already had an account” so when he got there to pick up the car this morning they of course told him I needed to be there because it was under my name, and of course, I lost it.

This has all transpired within the course of a week and a half, leaving him over this feels a bit sudden, but at the same time there’s a behavioral pattern that has been established since before this trip. Something that it’s supposed to be fun and relaxing has been unnecessarily stressful.

I have a friend of many years, who is a bit flaky and permanently skint, she is married, multiple children, and between her and her husband they work 25 hours a week, with a mortgage, bills, pets, kids, things are often tight for them. We only have one child and both work full time, so finances are often a little easier for us, though a lot gets tied up in investment, and we all do like to shop and holiday. I am aware of their financial discrepancy between us and it hasn’t ever been an issue, we go to free activities, look for discounts etc, or I’ll pick the bill up, let’s go away with the kids for the weekend, you tell me which weekend you are free, I’ll book and pay, you drive. It worked well. Recently it’s taken a turn though, in the last couple of weeks for various emergencies she’s ’borrowed’ 1k from me, most of which to avoid awkwardness and complications, I said not to worry about and see as a gift. This culminated with a request for a smaller amount of money $50 to replace one of the kids shoes, no worries, I got you, get that baby them shoes. For the next night her husband to invite mine out drinking because she’d given him $50 …. That was for the babies shoes … I went into a rage, and pointed out that was my money and was for the shoes, and realised, I had been completely taken advantage of, I told the husband, he needed to get a job and stop borrowing all the time, turns out he didn’t know I’d been financially helping out,now they are arguing and fighting, and I feel it’s my fault. I could have stayed quiet, then again, when I hear someone at the door, it makes me feel nauseous, because i automatically think it’s them asking for more. It is amplified by the fact I do have some memory issues, and I feel taken advantage of. So AITAH, should I have just stayed quiet.

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThatOneCloneTrooper

For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.

Originally posted to r/creepyencounters

Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Stalking, invasion of privacy, breaking and entry!<

MOOD SPOILER: >!Extremely creepy!<

Original Post  May 6, 2026

I'm a man in my 20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block. I've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life. The longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if that even. However, across my house I kept finding long hairs on the floor. Like, long brunette hairs, at least 5-6 inches. Sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere. Bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cupboard, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor and sofas etc etc.

I've been single since November and clean often enough that I'm certain it's not my ex-girlfriends' hairs. Plus the colour doesn't match anyway, she had solid black hair, these are more a light brunette. Plus, finding them in the places like the shower? Where running water is hitting all the sides 5+ times a week?

Anyway, I waved it off as "well I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes"...

Well. One day (this past April) I finished my early am gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go work that day, so naturally I start to walk home all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the 5th floor (the upper most floor) of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only 1 apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway.

JUST as I whip a right to go up the last set of stairs from the 4th floor to the 5th floor I see my neighbour's (on the 3rd floor) daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye-contact. We've never spoken before, mostly because we've never had a reason to but also because out of respect I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19-21ish and I'm slightly older. The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs.

I gave a confused "hello?" - at this point I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something? A cup of sugar maybe I don't know? I was expecting her to reply with something like "oh hi, do you have any xyz"...

Nope. She gave a silent "hey" and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me did I notice her hair was wet. Like. Fresh out the shower a minute ago wet.

Now I'm not saying she showered in my house. Or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something. And most generic brand shampoos smell the same.

But don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair colour matches the hairs I would find around my apartment. And like I said before, they were EVERYWHERE. In my bed to in my sock draws.

And if it is a case of me having a stalker? How did she know I came home early enough to bolt out the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras, its an older building from before 2000. And why would she be stalking me? For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation, I maybe saw her 20 times in the past 2 years given that I work and she (presumably) studies or works too.

As all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid 2 minutes grappling with what just happened. I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock near waist level and a 2nd more secure lock with a different key around shoulder level.

I drop my bag, throw off my shoes and run to the shower. And yep. It's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning.

I'm a confrontational person, not that I go looking for fights but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the 3rd floor I went, knocked on the door of my apparent stalker and her family. She opens the door but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door.

"Yes?" - "Umm can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside?" - "I just had to get something, it won't happen again.. ok bye see you"

Door closed.

This happened last month, I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on the steps coming up to my door so the 4th apartment still have their privacy.

So far so good, I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she'd been living in or going in or whatever in to my apartment since January because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed?

I do now also always take the elevator and avoid the 3rd floor like the plague.

EDIT: I'm not really worried about my safety because 1. I'm 200lb and do a lot of fighting training and 2. The new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally 3. I told the old retired husband and wife on the 4th floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month (I didn't want to start spreading rumours and gossip) and asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe. Just creeped out. Like my personal space had been violated.

EDIT 2: Someone DMed me to check my coats and bags for airtags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff so I think I would have 100% found it by now given how often I clean but I'll defo do another sweep of my stuff.

Update  May 12, 2026

(Re-upload - Mod said first post broke rule 6 so I've taken a bunch of details out)

Hi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching neighbour coming out of my apartment having used my shower.

My cousin’s husband is a police officer so I went to him directly about filing a report. He came over to my apartment first as I gave him a visual break down of what happened on the stairs and changes odd things I’d noticed in my apartment since January. Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food. And how my door was unlocked that day. Though I did a thorough clean following the event on the stairs my police friend was able to still find some hairs and so he bagged those up.

I gave him my statement in detail and some dates best I could, when I remember finding the first hair; when I first noticed food going missing etc.

Also he advised me not to talk to the family not even with a friend to avoid any confusion or get lawyers involved or muddy the waters with accusations.

With all that done he left and came back 2-3 days later. He and his partner went to talk to the family on Sunday because they knew both parents would likely be home then. Long story short she confessed to everything immediately and broke down into tears and apologised once my police friend brought up how 5 months of entering someone’s house even with keys is still very much an offence and she could easily end up with a sentence of some should I pursue it. And that that sentence could very easily involve the inside of a jail cell irregardless of if she stole something or not. (I don’t know how true this is, it might have just been my friend and his partner pressing and exaggerating for a confession but it worked).

They talked for an hour with the parents and her all in the same room to get answers from her. Then the same day he came up to mine with his partner and they gave me the breakdown.

Answers to commonly asked questions below:

⁃ how did she get in/have her own keys? The locks on our doors are the type that use a code on the lock barrel that only the manufacturer or partnered/approved locksmiths have access to. She knew this because her parents got the locks changed when they first moved in. And in fact she used the same locksmith from all the way back then.

The locksmith presumably remembered the family and apartment but just didn’t pay attention to it being the 5th floor this time instead of her own 3rd floor. So he came over and took the barrel out, saw the code, went and made a set of keys and done. I was none the wiser. Both my locks on my door are different brands but presumably they operate in the same way so having 2 locks made no difference.

⁃ what was she doing in my apartment? Anyone who said she just needed space, you were right. She has 2 younger step-siblings and her mother is a tutor (not a teacher as I presumed previously, she tutors at home) so at any given point there’s always some kids around the house. She would say to her parents she was going out to study or work or a girl friends house and use my house as a hotel while she studied or relaxed. The reason she used mine was partly because she knew it would be empty but also because my schedule was predictable. As I work an average 9-5 like everyone else but leave the house at 6-6:30 to get gym done too that essentially gave her the house from 6 to 5.

⁃ How long? My guess was right. It started in January, once she figured I’d broken up with my gf at the time around November. My gf would stay at mine when I went to work and back sometimes so yea that would have been an interesting situation if they had crossed paths.

⁃ So then how did she knew I was coming home early that day? And that I wasn’t going to work straight after gym like usual and so she bolted out the shower? Or on the days I didn’t go gym how did she know not to come in? Two fold. Firstly I go to a commercial gym in my country and so they have an app. Irregardless of if you’re a member or not, one of the things the app lets you see is how many people are in each branch so you can see how full it is. All you have to do is download it and scan the QR code at the entrance by the turnstiles to add it to the “my gyms” tab. It literally shows you like “Branch No. 21 (Address) - 9/50 - 18% full”, she would refresh the app in the morning and if it went up by 1 around 6-6:30am and she heard me go downstairs or use the elevator (not hard when it’s 6am and the apartment is otherwise silent) then she would know the house is empty.

Now for the creepiest most messed up bit of it all. She had put an AirTag on my car. She insisted that she had only put it recently and initially just presumably gambled that I wouldn’t be home sooner than expected (or maybe she just put an ear to the door), but then one thing lead to another and yea. (I don’t know how much I believe this, again this could be an attempt to not look so guilty)

That day when we clashed she refreshed the app and saw I left the gym, but then my car didn’t move, she connected the dots and tried to leave asap. When she heard me coming up the stairs she didn’t have time to lock up and so we met on the stairs with my door remaining closed but not locked. (Extra detail, the AirTag was stuck to under my car).

⁃ The using my shower? She claims she didn’t do it always just on hot days or days she couldn’t at home. I can’t deny or confirm this, like I said previously being a gym goer id shower 5+ times a week so.

⁃ How did her parents never notice? Well the dad leaves early for work, 5am ish since his bus route starts around 6. The mom is up around 6-7. But since she’s preparing for her own students for the day + her own kids to send to school she wasn’t too bothered what her eldest 20 year old daughter was doing really. She’d just say “I’m going to the college library” or “I’m going to my girlfriend’s” and that was good enough.

⁃ Did she have a thing for me like a crush? My police friend didn’t really say anything about this presumably he never asked since it’s not as important as other details or it never came back. It makes little difference.

⁃ How’s my standings with the family right now? The mum and dad both apologised to me. The mum via text and the dad in person at my door, he offered to pay for the camera I installed as his daughter was the direct cause of it but it was cheap off of amazon so I said no it’s fine. We had a 10-15 minute conversation and he was very apologetic and explained his daughter had always been extremely quiet and well behaved so something like this would never have crossed his mind in a million years.

He added that his daughter’s never had a boyfriend (at least that he knows of) and only has a few friends so her social interaction skills aren’t necessarily top notch and that even when guests would come she’d hide away in the spare room. So to the few people who predicted that maybe Covid and lockdown lead to her not having good social interaction skills. You were half right. He again offered me money for my troubles like missing food, new locks and cleaning etc but I felt bad enough already I declined.

He did also ask if I would press charges and I again said no. More on that below. He said he will send his daughter to apologise to me in person too when the situation has calmed down as she’s apparently very very tense and upset and hasn’t left her room in days.

⁃ Am I going to press charges? No. I’m still not happy about the situation ESPECIALLY the f**ing AirTag on my car, but the family is apologetic as well as the culprit herself and honestly no one is going to gain anything from this. I would like an apology though. (For anyone that cares about the extra detail, she got the AirTag as a gift a while back from her parents because she kept losing her stuff)

⁃ Have I seen her since? No, she won’t apparently leave her room and is terrified that I’ll press charges, though presumably her family’s told her I said I won’t.

⁃ How do I currently feel? Well I was never especially worried or nervous just really really creeped out about the whole situation. It felt like I’d been a parasite host and somehow never noticed until then. I currently still feel a little angry and a small part of me is thinking to seek “revenge” but any “revenge” I seek like money or slander is truthfully going to impact the parents more than her.

- Do I feel bad for her? Truthfully? No. She’s not 10. She’s 20 or something and educated so yea you should be remorseful, feel guilty and scared. Get over that hump and we’ll talk. Plus there’s loads of spaces for young adults like public libraries and her college spaces. By no means was my house the only viable option.

⁃ Finally. Did she use my bed? Or wear my clothes? Believe it or not. Yes. She did.

⁃ Any advice I can give? Check your wifi devices. If I had checked that I would have noticed her phone and laptop all the way back when. Obviously my wifi modem is in my house and so she helped herself to that. Again it’s one of those things. How often does one check their wifi devices. Truthfully, with all my family visiting me and their devices I probably wouldn’t have noticed 1 extra phone amongst the existing 10+ but I 100% WOULD have noticed the 1 extra laptop. So let that be a lesson to all. And yes I have removed her devices from the list and changed my password.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

My son remarried around 6 months ago and my new DIL, already had a daughter named Becky. Becky is 10 and overall is a sweet girl.

When each of the grandkids were born, I made a big blanket for all of them. The size of twin bed. I spent a lot of time and effort on all of them. I know most of the kids still use them often. Theo last one I made was 6 years ago and I struggled to make it. 

My son asked me to make a blanket for Becky. I told him no because of my arthritis in my hands and I have trouble sowing now. He asked if I would be willing to give her the one that I made for his sister child. My daughter had a still birth so the blanket was never used.

I told him no, that that blanket was ment for someone else and it feels real shitty to give to someone it wasn’t intended for. 

I thought that was the end of it but I got a call from my DIL, and she was pissed. She claims I am not seeing her kid as my grandkid and I should be stepping up. I told her I can’t make a blanket and she told me to give the old one her daughter. I told her no.

She is pissed and I am kinda pissed. My son told me to just give her the blanket or I won’t see the kids

My wife, daughter and I were eating breakfast at McDonald's this morning and an elderly lady walks up with a brown envelope and says she's collecting money for St. Judes, would I like to donate. I politely decline and explain all I have on me is a card and I donate a significant sum to them at Christmas in memory of my grandmother who used to do the same. The lady walks off to other tables then comes back to us and asks if we have any change whatsoever, I say no and then she says I could go get cash back. I then go "ma'am my family and I are eating as you can see, can you please go on about your day". Lady walks off, then comes back one last time and starts asking again before I end up going "lady leave us the fuck alone" and a lady at a table over from us goes "you don't have to be an asshole!"

AITAH here?

I live in a student dorm. It's two of us in a room, me and my roommate, let's name her Lisa. And Lisa LOVES our bathroom. Once she goes inside, she spends a lot of time doing whatever. This happens every day multiple times, each time ranging from 30 to 90 minutes. As far as I know, it is because she is usually smoking (it's allowed to smoke indoors where I live), watching some reality show, or popping her face in parallel with all the basic bathroom stuff. Once she comes out she goes: "Oh I'm so sorry, I don't know why I do this, I'm crazy" and then next time does this again. I stopped asking her to cut this off whatsoever because she just forgets about it (or simply doesn't care).

So, a couple of days ago Lisa went to the bathroom. And I just had 3 cups of tea. Of course, at some point, maybe half an hour later, I wanted to go pee. I thought to myself "Well, maybe it's one of the quicker times and she will leave the bathroom soon". No. Another 15 minutes go past, still she is inside. I knock on the door and ask, "Hey, how much time do you need there?" She says "15 more minutes". I say, "Bro I'm about to pee myself, please hurry up", and Lisa answers "I'm so sorry, I will".

Another 30 minutes go past. I geniunely feel awful. My stomach hurts badly and I feel like I'm actually about to pee myself each more minute. I knock on the door once again. "15 more minutes please".

That's when I legitimately thought to myself that if I can't wait another 15 minutes, because I'm definitely wetting my pants soon and probably dying of embarrassment right afterwards. My fight or flight mode kicks in and I choose to flight. I run out of the room, knock on our neighbor's door (who is Lisa's classmate and also my friend) and ask if I can use his bathroom because Lisa has been in ours for an hour and a half now. He laughs about it and lets me in.

The next day, when Lisa came home from uni, she looked super irritated by something. When I asked her what happened, she said "Nothing". 15 minutes later I asked her again (because I couldn't ignore her mad face) and she said "Why would you embarass me like that with the bathroom thing, now everyone is laughing like 'What are you doing there for so long'".

Maybe I really did mess up? I mean, I could just not mention for how long she was there. I felt like I should have explained why I was knocking at someone else's door to go pee, but I was frustrated and wanted to share my frustration, so maybe that's why it came out like that. I mean, I felt super embarrassed myself, because I had to go to another GUY'S room to PEE, and my stomach was hurting as hell. That's why I'm not sure if it was my mess up or her. Maybe both.

So, what do you think? Am I the asshole?

Edit: Just thought I'd clarify before the conversation starts: she didn't tell me before going to the bathroom that she was going to use it. It would be easier if she did.

Edit 2: I'm 100% sure she's not on any drugs or doing sex work in the bathroom. Personally, I think that she takes so much time because it's her way to get some personal space (since we share a bedroom), relax, and avoid whatever responsibilities she currently has (be it chores, homework, whatever). It's also possible that there are mental issues that make her act like that, since there are other signs of those, but I'm not a doctor to make clinical claims.

I29M have a two bedroom apartment. My wife and I have 2 kids (5&7) who already share a bedroom. My sister and I are the only relatives that live close to each other. Our parents live about an hour and a half away. My sister is currently pregnant with her 5th child, and had asked me about taking her kids when she goes to deliver, and then for the next day as well.

Her kids are 12, 10, 8 and 2. I told her I really didn’t think that would work out space wise, and I work weekdays so it’d be a lot on my wife. She told me take the days off, or just let them squish together that it’d be fine. I told her no, I really didn’t see how it would work out. She was upset and said she was getting stressed out because she really needed reliable care. I asked her what about her sitter (because she does have a sitter) and she said she really didn’t want to have to pay for it, and she wanted a day with her husband and her and the baby. I told her I was sorry, but no. She argued with me a little bit; which was more her trying to persuade me, then when she saw she couldn’t she got mad and said that I was her only option and family helps family. It’s been 2 days, and she hasn’t reached out. We typically talk daily. AITA

Add: we cannot go to her house because the second day I was referring too, is she wants alone time at home with her husband and the baby.

My sister just gave birth to her second child a month ago. She asked me and my wife to fly and stay at their home for 3 weeks to help with childcare and chores while she recovered and got used to being a mom of 2. I work from home and my wife does not work, so I reluctantly agreed. I was reluctant because I am going through a stressful period at work and my wife and I are on a break from trying to have our first baby after 3 unsuccessful tries last year. I agreed because she seemed really anxious and has a BTS concert to go to soon (she needs someone to help her husband with the kids while she flies out to see the concert and fly back the next day). She and her husband are currently on parental leave for the next couple months.

Even before my wife and I got to their house, she was texting me about how frustrated she was with her mother in law and my parents who were there before us because she expected them to do some chores. My sister complained about how she and her husband weren’t getting any rest at all since they had to “pick up the slack” on chores. I assured her we would do our best to help with chores and kids.

My nightmare began as soon as we arrived. First, I didn’t realize they wouldn’t pick us up from the airport. They covered our plane tickets but we had to cover the $50 Uber from the airport to their house. When we arrived, she asked us to do our own groceries so we would have our own food because they prepared special food to sustain her breast milk production and she didn’t want us to eat it. When we started to cook our own food each day, she appeared annoyed at us and later on I found out that it’s because she expected us to ask her first if she and her husband needed anything before we “started doing our own thing”. Because we had to do our own groceries, their fridge got full and she complained about the fridge being full even though 98% of it was their food. My wife and I did all the chores each day, making sure their house was tidy every night, but my sister still was not pleased. We spent all day with her 4 year old but my sister was constantly correcting my wife and I in how we interact with her 4 year old asking us not to reprimand her kid even when her kid was hitting us and saying some pretty mean things since she wanted her mom only. The kid disliked my wife so much that she lied to my sister that my wife punched her (she did not), and my sister confronted us about it. My sister told me that it was okay if we wanted to leave early because our presence created more stress for them than relief, so after 2 weeks I decided for us to leave a week early because the situation felt like slavery.

My sister has sent me text messages after we left telling me how she doesn’t think my wife is good enough for me (because my wife apparently can’t do chores, wants too many breaks during the day from childcare and can’t take care of kids) and that there is something wrong with my wife since her 4 year old doesn’t like her. I responded and gave her my opinions about her insane expectations on free help (she was so insistent on exactly how everything needed to be done that I had nightmares) and that I don’t need her opinion about my marriage. She messaged me again telling me that I always twist everything and I’m acting like the victim here, and that I’m never there for her. I have not responded to her since her last message that was very hurtful. AITAH?

[UPDATE] My sister has sent me a text message full of cuss words that tears down my entire character. She told me that my life is full of drama and I only bring toxicity into everyone else’s lives. I believe she’s talking about the hardships that I have been through in life and mine and my wife’s recent difficult baby journey that has caused us not to be as available. She mentioned that I have never been there for her in almost every milestone in her life, despite me being there to help her after her first and second kid were born and also lending an ear whenever she was stressed or angry about something in her life. She said that I make everything about myself because I previously mentioned to her that I will now be setting my boundaries since my help and kindness has been taken for granted. She also mentioned that she was always there through all my hardships but in reality I keep a lot of my feelings hidden from her and never ask for her help out of fear of being an inconvenience and being judged. She said she asked us to leave their home for the good of everyone, not because she was kicking us out and said she will always believe her kid over anyone. I was so anxious to read her message that I had to ask my wife to read it first to tell me how bad it is. I am going no contact with my sister for as long as possible.

I (29F) work at a restaurant with this guy we can call him “Mark” (idk,M). A few weeks ago he told everyone he was planning to propose to his girlfriend during a concert they were going to, and he kept hyping it up nonstop.The problem is that he scheduled himself to work that same night and apparently forgot to request it off. A few days beforehand he started begging people to switch with him. Nobody wanted to because it was a Saturday night shift.He eventually asked me because I technically wasn’t scheduled that day. I had a pretty full week, (personal stuff) and i didn't really feel like it so i told him i can't cover it. He kept asking and was asking me what plans i have but i didn't (if your wondering why he didn't ask the others one of them was flying and the other one had something specific i don't remember. So Mark had to work. Apparently he tried to rush to the concert after his shift, but by the time he got there the moment he planned was ruined because the band had already played their big final song. He ended up proposing afterward in the parking lot and according to him it “wasn’t special anymore.” After he was a little psasive agressive to me and complained a little that i ruined it. But I feel like forgetting to request off for your own proposal is not my responsibility.

AITA?

It's not a long or exciting story but the update is that I will no longer go to restaurants if Rachael is going to be there. She doesn't get upset if we're having dinner at someone's home and everyone is eating the same thing. My parents met her once before the incident in my first post. They made lasagna for dinner and Rachael didn't say a thing about everyone getting a piece of lasagna from the same pan. She ate it without complaining. Rachael only gets weird and upset if we're at a restaurant or getting takeout, not if it's a home cooked meal at someone's home.

After the first incident, the one I mentioned in my first post, Dave was insistent that Steve apologize to Rachael and make amends even though Steve didn't do anything wrong. Dave always defends Rachael when she acts weird about this. I get that you are supposed to be on the same team as whoever you're dating, but Dave refuses to see that Rachael is in the wrong and I'm not the only one who is tired of it.

The last straw for me was at my cousin's 16th birthday. Rachael got upset because my cousin ordered the meal that she wanted and she tried to get my cousin to change his mind. My aunt and my uncle were not happy and they really don't like Rachael now. No one knows what her problem is. She just says she doesn't like it when people order the same thing and won't explain more. She even asks other people who order the same meal if one of them wants to change their order (like when my dad and I ordered the same thing the first time we met her). At the restaurants where this happens (Canadian Brewhouse, Milestones etc.) everyone gets a separate meal. They are not the kind of places where you order food for the table and share. I don't understand why this bothers her so much but I just won't go to restaurants if she's there now because she makes such a big deal about and you can't even enjoy yourself. I'm not the only one who avoids her either.

So I live in this typical university dorm where the official campus internet is basically a joke. It is slow, blocks half the gaming servers, and dies the moment everyone starts streaming Netflix at 8 PM. Three months ago I decided to take matters into my own hands and got a private 5G router with a decent unlimited plan. It was not cheap but for me it is a necessity because I do some freelance coding and I need to be able to play Dota without 300 ping spikes.

When I first set it up my two roommates asked if they could connect just to check their mail or whatever. I figured why not since we are all broke students and I wanted to be a good guy. I told them it was fine but asked them not to go crazy with huge downloads. For a week it was okay then I started noticing the speeds dropping hard. I checked the admin panel and saw that not only were my roommates connected but there were like five other devices I did not recognize. Turns out they gave the password to their friends from the room next door because those guys were complaining about the lag in some mobile shooter.

I asked them to stop sharing it and they just shrugged saying that internet should be free and we are all in this together. Yesterday I was trying to finish a project for a client and the connection was crawling because someone was downloading a 60GB update for some game. I got fed up and changed the password without saying anything. Ten minutes later the complaints started. They called me a gatekeeper and said I was being a selfish prick for hogging the bandwidth when I could clearly afford it.

One of them even had the audacity to say that since the router is in a common area I do not have the right to lock people out of it. I told them if they want the password they can split the monthly bill with me but they refused saying they are too broke for that. Now the whole floor thinks I am some kind of elitist tech guy who hates his peers. I am just tired of paying for everyone else to watch TikTok while my own work suffers.

I honestly do not see why I should provide a free service for people who do not even respect my one rule about sharing. My roommates are barely talking to me now and the vibe in the room is just trash. Am I really the asshole for wanting what I paid for? I am literally just trying to survive the semester without my grades or my freelance income tanking because of some random guys in the next room using my data for free.

My sister and i have been at odds for a long time now, basically my brother her and i are all adopted and not bio related and she was putting a lot of pressure on us to get in contact with our bio family’s who are weirdos and not related to her at all and we cut her off over it, it’s a long story i wont get into here but anyway, my sister is the type to go out of her way to hurt you if you don’t do everything she says sooo what did she do to get back at me?

Slept with my at the time boyfriend (now ex of course) and then rub it in my face. Cool cool cool, thanks so much sissy.

So here’s the part that cracks me up but also truly pisses me off. My brother and i have cut off my parents because they enable this little demon and basically my moms birthday just passed and my brother and I were no where to be found and especially since Mother’s Day is coming up she’s crashing out, boo hoo don’t care, sorry, you still have your golden child daughter who hates you so you should be fine, anyway….my cousin was at the birthday they had for her and said this is what my sister was saying.

So i have been planning on getting an apartment with my three bestie for a while now and we basically just moved in, it’s in the city of where we grew up and I’m so excited! The funny thing, my sister is getting sick of living rent free at my parents in the suburbs so she has decided that she is going to replace my one roommate and move in with me and have my parents pay her rent.

Mind you she and i have been on bad terms for months and almost no contact, the last time we spoke she was showing me the pictures of her naked in my boyfriends bed with him asleep next to her, and she was being nasty af about it. But now she thinks she’s moving in with me? Girl huh?

The best part is she has decided that the roommate she wants to replace shouldn’t be there because he’s a guy and it’s going to be a girls apartment. And then she dropped in some random homophobia just to top it off.

So again. We don’t speak at all. I hate her. She slept with my boyfriend and gave my insane bio family my contact info. I don’t speak to my parents over her bs. But she’s decided she’s moving in with me because she wants to live in the city and she has also decided my childhood best friend gets the boot because he’s a guy and she doesn’t want to live with a guy and blah blah blah. lol okayyyyyyy girl good luck with that.

I (52F) and my husband (49M) have been together for over 20 years.  He has been out of work, but I make enough to keep us going.

Last week was rough for me at work; I was initially blamed for something my predecessor did. It got straightened out, but there were a lot of meetings, calls, and emails, and I was scared I could lose this job.

So Friday night, I just wanted a quiet night at home.  My husband wanted to go to his favorite hibachi place. We don’t go out to eat much anymore, but I was so tired. He kept pressing, saying, “all you have to do is sit there and eat.” So I said okay.

The hibachi place was loud and crowded, but being just the two of us, we didn’t wait long and were seated with a boisterous group of 6.

The chef came out; as he started cooking, he looked at me and asked if I was okay. I nodded and said, “yes, I’m fine, thank you.” He nodded and started bantering with the group of 6.

A few minutes later, the chef again asked if I was okay.  I assured him, “yep, I’m good.”  He then said, “you don’t look like you feel good.” I’ve been told that I have a resting-bitch face, so I tried to smile and said again that I was fine.

When the chef turned back to the group of 6, he grinned and then looked at me yet again, and this time said, “are you mad?” I was taken aback and said, “nope.” He mugged at the group of 6, and then to me he said in a comic voice, “are you suuuuure you’re not mad… are you mad at meeeee?”  The group of 6 chuckled.

One of the women in the group of 6 then said, “oh, don’t worry about her, she’s just…”

Here is where I may be the asshole, because I didn’t hear what she actually said after that. There was a burst of noise that, for me, drowned her out.  All I know is that after she finished her sentence, the chef and the group had a hearty laugh while looking at me. I was feeling so beat-up from the week, I was mortified to feel myself turning red and tearing up.  So I told my husband to box up my food, because I’d be waiting in the car for him.  I was getting out of my chair when my husband hissed at me to sit down and stop making a scene. 

I said, “I’m not going to sit here and be made fun of.”

My husband said, “Nobody’s making fun of you! Just eat your dinner.”

I ended up sitting through the rest of the meal in the restaurant. The mood at the table turned very sedate. Communication became hushed voices and gestures. Nobody hung around long after the food was distributed, and pretty much everyone, myself included, just put everything in to-go boxes and left.

In the car, my husband complained I’d ruined dinner. I asked him what the woman said about me after the “don’t worry about her, she’s just…” and my husband would only say, “it was nothing” and “it wasn’t anything to get mad about.” I kept after him to tell me exactly what she said, and he finally admitted that he hadn’t heard her either, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t worth me ruining dinner for the whole table.

AITA?

I’ve recently gotten engaged and have been with my partner for 5 years. Her family threw us an engagement party this weekend and when we got home and opened some of the cards there was money in most of them. 

I mentioned it was generous of her family to give us so much and my gf mentioned it was her money. I pointed out it’s both of our names on the cards and the money should be going towards the wedding or things for both of us. 

She mentioned that it was her family that gave us it so the money is hers but I disagreed. I said the engagement party was for both of us and os are the cards and any gifts we e received. I pointed out it’s selfish of her to expect everything to just be for her. 

She said I was trying to take advantage of her family’s generosity but I pointed out that’s exactly why she’s going by keeping everything for herself. She just repeated the gifts were from her family so should be for her. 

AITA for expecting the gifts to be for both of us?

I married my soulmate, the love of my life and the light of my eyes 3,5 years ago. Unfortunately, he died shortly after our wedding due to an illness, in my arms and while holding his parents' hands. Suffice to say this was traumatic for everyone involved, everyone in his family tattooed his name on their wrist (I have a marriage tattoo, so not a name but a date tied to him, which is why I didn't do it), and the whole after-death, mourning, etc. period we bonded very deeply over his memory.

For context (this is relevant), I am from country A. My late husband was from country B. I lived with him in country C, and since then I've moved and now live in country D.

As my husband was dying, we both moved from C to B, so that burial and everything else would be easier. I then stayed with my inlaws for a while, moved back to C, sold the apartment I owned there shortly after and moved to D. I am thus now stranded, in a way, between my family (all in A) and my in laws family (all in B ). I travel ~2 times a year to spend time with inlaws in B, maybe once a year to spend time with my own fam in A, and maybe once a year my entire blood family comes to D to spend time with me. It's an expensive and exhausting arrangement but it works in maintaining both bonds. It also means that when I am in B, I am now for all intents and purposes treated by inlaws, and the entire rest of my late husband's family, like I am their child: I live with them, travel with them around the country, eat with them, play video games together with my "siblings" in law, I am on the walls of their house in holiday photos and spend time with my late husband's cousins and now, these are basically my family too, my mom dad grandparents cousins etc. They're just as mom and dad as my own mom and dad are.

And here comes the hard question: I'm in my late 20s. After my hubby died, I did date now and then, with eventually hoping for marriage and kids, but nothing seemed to work, fellow widows know what that's like. And then... I met this guy. And he has been, well, not like my late husband, but you know how sometimes you meet someone and they are YOUR person? And you just know? In a different way, this man is as much a soulmate now as my husband was. And he is very chill with me going to inlaws, mentioning a memory of something I did with my late husband on occasion, having a picture of him in my bedroom, etc. He is caring, loving, understanding and patient, everything a young widow could ask for... and things are moving fast.

Which is the problem.

Thus far, I never mentioned any relationships to my inlaws. They are aware, I am certain, that I do date, have sex, etc. but they don't ask, and I don't talk, about anything or anyone other than my late husband while in country B. I don't feel like that's respectful to change that, buuuuuut - well, I want to move in with this guy. And I want to stop saying I'm going on 'solo trips' when I'm actually going on trips with this guy. And I love him, a lot, and we are already talking marriage, and children.

And I have to tell them that this man now exists in my life, and here I am, in my inlaws' toilet, writing this out at 2am to ask Reddit for advice. With 2 days left before I go back to country D and don't come back here to B until... God knows. Maybe Christmas?

I have to tell them, and I want to do it in person while I am here, but I don't know how. I don't want it to seem ostentatious - there is pictures of me and late husband, together, hugging, on holidays, EVERYWHERE in the house, and announcing a new man in my life out of the blue might seem like I'm bragging or something. I'm not. I also don't want it to seem like I'm leaving them aside - I'm not. They are MY mom and dad in law, my gran gran and gram gram in law, my little brother and sister in law, and this will change nothing. Even after I get married. Even if I have children. They remain family to me and kin.

But how do I even start this conversation? Because they won't ask. And I don't know how to mention it, in a way that we never speak about it again, in a way that respects and shows that my late husband is STILL my soulmate, still the light of my eyes - he's just not the only one, anymore.

I'm scared out of my mind that this will make me lose them.

EDIT: I DID IT

I talked only to my mother in law, because I was a bit afraid to talk to them both, and I kept putting it off until literally the last second before we went to bed but, I did it.

I told her that this guy is the first serious relationship I've had since hubby passed away, that it's quite a new thing (I was afraid to tell her it's been a long time - I can come clean about this small lie later on, if he becomes more than boyfriend) but that I've known him for a longer while because we're in the same friend group, and to my surprise, she asked me to tell her more about him! She cut me off at some point then and told me she is very happy for me, but she only wants one thing from me: to stay in touch with them, and to not push them aside, and to that I told her I had been freaking out the whole time while in country B about how to tell her, and she said its silly, even seemed to get a bit cross at me that I could ever be afraid to tell her because we are family, and I told her to me she is mom as much as my own mom is mom, so I was afraid to lose her and lose that, and anyway we hugged and she is very happy for me and we bonded over how we were both afraid that this moment would distance me from them, but I reassured her that literally nothing will change between us, and I am as much her daughter now as I will always be.

So yeah: turns out, y'all were right, I freaked out over nothing much, and while I am uncertain as to when, or if, rest of family will find out, since she is the one I am closest with and she also knows her children and husband best, I trust that she'll mention it to them when she thinks that the time is right. At the same time I told my boyfriend, and he is very happy that it all went well, and congratulated me for it : D I did chicken out on telling her the full truth, how long we've been together, and stuff like that, as well as to have a full "we need to sit down" talk with father in law, but all in all, I think this is as ok as it will get, and I am reassured that even if he doesn't take it as well, mom (in law?) is in my corner and she is happy for me.

Extra detail that entirely blew me away: the guys who said to mention to her that husband did tell me to remarry were more spot on the money than they thought. Turns out, not only did he have this conversation with me, he ALSO had this conversation with them, so she said she is ok with it especially because late hubby told her that this is what he wants. I do feel a bit uneasy at the thought of how this might have went had he not, but once again from beyond the grave and 3 years ago he protected his wife and made sure I am safe and accepted by his family, which. Guys. At 24, while dying. I cannot put into words how much I love this man. I would die for him to get even another hour of life. Until his last day he thought of me and loved me. How blessed are we that we get to have experienced a man such as him into our lives.

I dunno how all of the guys who wanted an update will get it but uh... here you go? lol

I'm (16m) one of six kids and the only boy. My younger sisters are 14, 11, 9, 8 and 5. Apparently I cried when my parents told me the first time that I was getting a sister. I remember not being happy the next two times I was told and I remember my mom telling me I was a psychopath for wanting a brother so bad that I wouldn't celebrate having sisters. She told me there was something deeply wrong with me and my dad agreed with her. He told me I didn't get to choose and I needed to stop being such a baby and act like a man.

I didn't have any reaction to my next two sisters being girls. By then I felt like it didn't matter anyway and even if I got a brother he'd be too young to have fun with. Because for me that was the big issue with me having sisters. I was always told I couldn't play with my sisters like I would my friends. Girls didn't play video games, they didn't wrestle or jump on the trampoline or climb trees or play football. I was told that was for boys. For all I know my parents had that drilled into me before my first sister was even born and that's why I cried. But I always felt like I had nothing in common with girls and sadly we've been raised that way. I don't have a good relationship with my sisters and we're very different. They don't like boy things like video games, which aren't boy things but my parents taught us they were. I didn't like playing dolls or house or messing with makeup. My parents were very strict on all of this. It even goes into stuff like hiking is for boys while swimming for fun is for girls. I know how to swim but swimming was for my sisters only in our family.

My parents blame me for the relationship between me and my sisters. They told me if I wasn't so upset about them when I was little that we'd be close today and have a relationship like brother and sister should and they make it seem like wanting a sibling to play with was wrong. The word psychopath has been thrown around a few times the older I got too.

Recently a friend of my mom found out her third child was a boy. She has a 5 year old daughter and a 3 year old son already. She knew mom had been through that with me and asked mom to talk to her daughter and my mom told her it was normal for a little girl to want a sister and it was okay to be sad she was getting another brother. She was really sweet and even told her friend it would be okay. I was shocked. It bothered me enough that when her friend and the kids left I asked my mom why a girl wanting a sister is fine but a boy wanting a brother makes him a psychopath. My mom yelled and she told my dad when he got home and he yelled. They told me I was being intentionally naive and I should be a better man by now but clearly I'm not.

AITAH?

I 40F have been very lucky and joined a tech start up very early that turned out to be a unicorn (>1B valuation). It was sold several years ago and while I'm no billionaire it's allowed me to live a very comfortable life. I have a small close knit family and am happy to share with my good fortune with them. I have an older brother Isaac(50M) who has a daughter Grace (14F) with an ex partner. Grace lives most of the time with her mom Rebekah but spends the weekends and half of the summer with her dad. I'm especially close with Grace since I only have sons and they LOVE their cousin and vice versa. Grace would frequently babysit and be a mother's helper (make bottles, burp the baby, help in the kitchen etc) when she was younger.

Even before my start up's acquisition my husband and I made enough that we paid for her private school (60k a year) and would take her on trips to disneyland and vacations with us (usually skiing in the spring and then a couple of weeks in Mexico/Hawaii in the summer.) But when our lifestyle upgraded so did hers. We set up a trust fund for her -enough for college/masters/phd and a downpayment on a house in the bay), we bought vacation homes and took several international vacations a year on business class. Her parents have been nothing but supportive and very grateful.

Now the problem is around 5 years ago Rebekah met George who had two kids who he has 50/50 custody of- Caroline (F16) and Christian(M13). Both Rebekah and George work as servers and have a hard time making ends meet. They recently got married and moved in together and Caroline and George are starting to get upset and jealous that their step sister lives such a "better" life. They go to public school, go to disney once a year if they are lucky and maybe a trip to Vegas or to visit their grandma in Florida in the summer. This upset George and has led to fights with Rebekah. The kids are fighting too. Rebekah brought this up to me, hesitantly but she said that she promised George she'd at least ask me to at least pay for private school to keep things even, and try to make things even between the kids with gifts and trips. Rebekah is "on my side" and said she knows it's not my responsibility at all but she promised George she'd at least talk to me and he said I'd be pretty cold/jerk(though I think he used stronger language knowing him) to treat siblings so differently. But my husband and I disagree. I barely know those kids! AITA?

I don't even know where to begin typing this. My hands are shaking if I tell my family now; I know everyone will freak out, and I need to keep a cool head. But I can't.

My son. He's always been a quiet, somewhat shy boy, very focused on computer games and school. But for the past three months or so, he's changed completely.

At first, I thought it was just adolescence kicking in. He started isolating himself more, but what caught my attention was his sleep pattern. He would stay up all night, even on weekdays.

When I entered the room, he would quickly close the computer tabs. He started wearing much more mature clothes than usual, and out of nowhere, he started using an imported men's cologne that I don't even know where it came from.

The worst part was his gaze: he always seemed exhausted, anxious, as if he were hiding a giant secret.

I tried talking to him several times. I asked if he was being bullied, if it was some girl from school, but he always dodged the question, saying he was "just tired."

This afternoon I arrived home early from work. He didn't hear me come in because he was wearing headphones in the living room, with his back to the door, typing on his cell phone. He was smiling, but it was a tense smile, and he was typing very fast. I walked behind him to joke around and give him a little scare, and ended up seeing the screen.

The person's profile picture was of a clearly older woman. And the message he had just sent said: "I can't wait for you to come see me next Saturday, my parents won't be there."

I froze. At that moment, I grabbed the phone from his hand. He tried to pull it back, started trembling, turned red, and began to cry desperately, begging me to give it back. I locked myself in the room with the device. He didn't have a password on the messaging app.

I spent two hours reading the history. It's much worse than I could have imagined. She's 21 years old. They met on a Discord server for a game they both played. She lives in the next town, about 40 minutes from here.

From the messages, the first contact was six months ago. It started with conversations about the game, then she started validating him, saying that he was "much more mature than the boys his age," that she "felt understood" by him. Then, the conversation evolved to photos.

And then, two months ago, she came here. She picked him up on the corner of his street on a Saturday afternoon, on a day he lied that he was going to his friends' house. He actually went out with her. It happened again two weeks ago. In the messages, she manipulates him all the time. She says it's their "secret," that nobody would understand their "love," and tells him not to tell me or his mother anything because "the adults would ruin everything" and she could be arrested.

He is 14 years old. He is a child. He has no understanding of things. He thinks he's "dating" an adult woman.

After I finished reading, I left the room. He was sitting on the hallway floor, crying a lot, apologizing to me as if he had done something wrong.

He thinks I'm angry with him for "disobeying." I could only hug him tightly. I didn't yell, I didn't fight. I just told him that he's not in trouble with me and that I love him. I put him to bed now and he ended up falling asleep from crying so much.

I'm here alone. My wife is traveling for work and only returns tomorrow night. I don't know how to tell her this.

I don't know if I should go straight to the police early tomorrow morning, or if I should look for a psychologist for him first. I feel a mixture of deadly hatred for this woman and an absurd guilt for not having realized it sooner.

I just wanted to protect my son and I feel like I failed miserably. Please tell me what I should do now, I am completely lost.