So I unexpectedly received a $2 million trust from relatives. It's already taxed money, growing every year, and I have full access to take as much or as little of the money whenever I want. Additionally, I have about $250k in investments of my own, but that feels like small potatoes now. Obviously it is a life changing sum of money, and I'm unsure how to make the most of my life given what I have now.

Professionally: I entered a creative job field about a decade ago that's rapidly collapsed in the past few years. I worked within the film industry, it was a dream/passion career, but have been through two layoffs in the past few years, and am currently doing a job that's semi in the field, but not quite what I want to be doing. The money's fine, the job is low stress and flexible. It feels like it's sort of an impossible job market there right now, but I'm not sure what else to do. I'm a bit stuck. I could keep at it, knowing I have the money, or try something else entirely, though I'm not sure what. Maybe use it to go back to school?

Personally, I live in a rented apartment. I like where I live. My city's okay, but I really like the friends I've made there. I'm a single woman. I don't have kids. So really, I only have to support myself, and don't have anyone else to consult about where I do. Would love a partner and family some day, but hasn't happened yet.

I don't know what's the balance of completely ignoring the money, and being grateful it's there, and using it when I'm older. Or using some of it now, improving or changing my life. I feel daunted trying to narrow down how to do so. I could travel for a year. I could go back to school. I could buy a condo. There are many possibilities. Additionally, my parents received money as well, and have let me know that eventually, hopefully one day far in the future, I will receive a substantial inheritance from them. I'm not relying on it. At all. But it will conservatively be around $3-5 million dollars, and very possibly more.

I've always been pretty responsible with money, and don't anticipate blowing through it, buying $200,000 cars or w/e. I also am not telling anyone about the money.

So, I'm just trying to wrap my head around things. It feels like I've been running on a hamster wheel all these years, and now the thing is running itself, and I'm not really sure what to do. Obviously grateful to be in this position, but overwhelmed about how to make the best of it, from continuing on as normal, to totally blowing up my life. I don't know if anyone's been in a similar position or has any advice on how to handle it?

So I unexpectedly received a $2 million trust from relatives. It's already taxed money, growing every year, and I have full access to take as much or as little of the money whenever I want. Additionally, I have about $250k in investments of my own, but that feels like small potatoes now. Obviously it is a life changing sum of money, and I'm unsure how to make the most of my life given what I have now.

Professionally: I entered a creative job field about a decade ago that's rapidly collapsed in the past few years. I worked within the film industry, it was a dream/passion career, but have been through two layoffs in the past few years, and am currently doing a job that's semi in the field, but not quite what I want to be doing. The money's fine, the job is low stress and flexible. It feels like it's sort of an impossible job market there right now, but I'm not sure what else to do. I'm a bit stuck. I could keep at it, knowing I have the money, or try something else entirely, though I'm not sure what. Maybe use it to go back to school?

Personally, I live in a rented apartment. I like where I live. My city's okay, but I really like the friends I've made there. I'm a single woman. I don't have kids. So really, I only have to support myself, and don't have anyone else to consult about where I do. Would love a partner and family some day, but hasn't happened yet.

I don't know what's the balance of completely ignoring the money, and being grateful it's there, and using it when I'm older. Or using some of it now, improving or changing my life. I feel daunted trying to narrow down how to do so. I could travel for a year. I could go back to school. I could buy a condo. There are many possibilities. Additionally, my parents received money as well, and have let me know that eventually, hopefully one day far in the future, I will receive a substantial inheritance from them. I'm not relying on it. At all. But it will conservatively be around $3-5 million dollars, and very possibly more.

I've always been pretty responsible with money, and don't anticipate blowing through it, buying $200,000 cars or w/e. I also am not telling anyone about the money.

So, I'm just trying to wrap my head around things. It feels like I've been running on a hamster wheel all these years, and now the thing is running itself, and I'm not really sure what to do. Obviously grateful to be in this position, but overwhelmed about how to make the best of it, from continuing on as normal, to totally blowing up my life. I don't know if anyone's been in a similar position or has any advice on how to handle it?

edit: fwiw: my expenses right now tend to be about ~$6-7k / month, the fund is managed by by a financial firm that has managed to grow the money about ~11% annually on average

Recently, I've felt like Hinge has been pretty awful. Three years ago, I felt like I occasionally would find men that I found kind, consistent, interesting, attractive, emotionally available, made sense for me. I went on dates where even if we didn't connect romantically, the conversation was good, they seemed normal and looking for partnership. It felt like maybe 2-3 times a year, I'd find someone I could potentially be in a relationship with, and I very strongly felt like I could find a partner on the apps. Now at 33, it has been a dumpster fire. The men I have gone out with have been flakier. More socially awkward. I rarely meet a guy who is compatible with me. I'm debating quitting the apps all together because it just doesn't feel like they are worth it anymore. I live in a major US city. I'm not sure if its the enshittification of the apps, or if I'm just aging out to a field where there are less available men my age, and my age is putting me at a disadvantage?

There's this family friend I've known most of my life who is my age, a year older. We weren't super close, but I had always known him and our parents are friendly. He's a super nice guy. I had never thought of him romantically before. As adults, we both ended up in the same city. We got coffee once when he moved--he had a girlfriend around the time, so I thought of him super platonically. Over the years, I saw him maybe once or twice, always thought he was nice, but he was mostly in a relationship so I didn't think much of him. I invited him to birthdays I threw once or twice, but he was never available or in town.

Then he became single. I was single as well. My mom once asked my if I had ever thought of dating him and I said, no, not really. Don't know that there's anything there. Mostly as a reflex since our interactions had always been so platonic. Anyways, I run into him again awhile after that at a potluck. He's so nice. And I start to wonder, oh, maybe I am interested in him romantically. He's a great guy, smart, positive, kind. Has all my must haves. I think about it a little. And by the time I realize, a month or two later, maybe I am interested in him that way, he already has a new girlfriend. This was about 2.5 years ago. And now they are getting married this summer.

I feel like such a fool. We are from the same city, our parents our friends, we're the same religion, same age, same political beliefs, totally compatible on paper. He's a nice guy smart guy with a sense of humor and everyone likes him. If I had just realized sooner, had asked him to hang out, had just TRIED going on a date with him, I could be getting married to him. And I know he would be a great partner, and we would have had a great life. And now, I'm looking down 34, and still single, and realizing most men who want partnership are partnered, or they want someone younger.

How do I get over the heartbreak of knowing he is partnered and building a family with someone else, and I threw away a perfectly good shot at partnership without realizing it, as it becomes increasingly unlikely every year that it will happen for me?

I had a four year relationship end at 31. I thought we were going to get married, but it didn't work out. I took some time alone to heal from the break up. And then I started dating again shortly before turning 32. I've been dating for two years now, and I've noticed the dating pool has gotten a lot more difficult to navigate than the last time I was single. I remember meeting many more consistent, communicative, emotionally available men in my 20s that were my age. Plenty of dud dates too, but a decent ratio. Now, it seems like a lot of those men my age, many of whom would have been good partners, found their person around age 30 and are getting married this year. And the dating pool left is... odd. Not to say there are no good men, but it feels like it's a lot more inconsistent.

What really upsets me is that I know of several guys in my extended network with my "Must Haves" (Kind, consistent, smart, emotionally available, relationship oriented, liberal etc) who went off the market when I was in my relationship, who could have been potentially good compatible matches for me. It feels like a game of musical chairs where everyone found their seat and I'm left standing.

I'm so sad and angry, feeling like I wasted my best years on the wrong guy, and that it may have cost me marriage and kids. I'm feeling pretty discourage as my 34th birthday looms, I can hear the clock ticking, and afraid dating is only going to get harder and harder each year for me. I recently got turned down by a 30 year old because he was "trying to date people his age." And as many of my friends are having kids this year, I just feel like I have sabotaged my life spectacularly. How do I remain optimistic about partnering, or at this point, is it more of an acceptance that not everything works out, and if I want a partner, I will have to massively settle for someone worse than I could have found at 29/30?

I have been on three dates with this man I met off the apps. We're both early 30s. On paper, we have a lot in common. Same creative profession, same politics and religion. He has a good relationship with his family. So far he has been kind, consistent, understanding. Our conversations are nice. He clearly likes me. But When I am with him, it feels more like hanging out with a friend than a romantic interest. Granted, our dates have had to be a bit spaced out because of travel and life stuff, but I don't find myself thinking about him between dates. I don't dread our dates our anything but I'm also not excited for them. We don't text between dates. He's not unattractive, perfectly nice face, but I just feel pretty neutral.

On our second date, he invited me over at the end before we had even kissed and I declined, which he was respectful of, but I felt a bit offput, even though in the past I've comfortably slept with people on date 2. I did try kissing him to see if there was anything there. And it wasn't a bad make out, technically speaking, but it felt sort of... weird and wrong? Like I shouldn't be kissing him?

On our third date, our conversation was good, but I just felt like I was with a friend, did not want to touch him or kiss him and I don't know why. I just felt this mounting pressure in me, like I shouldn't be on a date with him, like I should end it, like it still felt more like being with a platonic friend than a growing love interest. I'm not looking for an all consuming spark, I've gone with that in the past and it hasn't worked, but I'm wondering if I'm feeling enough for a slow burn, or maybe this guy is just too similar to me/not right for me? Or if there is something else going on here. Would love to hear from people who have experienced the slow burn

I turn 34 soon, and have a lot of anxiety about getting older and finding a partner. I want a partner and kids more than anything, even though my life is great in so many other way. I asked AI my odds, and it said only 30% of women single at 34 will be married at 40. This feels like horrible odds. I have been single for 5 years following a horrible relationship. Spent 2.5 years unlearning bad attachment and figuring out how to date again. And then the past 2.5 years have been consumed with health problem and navigating my career.

All to say, I've dated a lot the past 5 years, but had a lot of personal development and shit on my plate. I've finally gotten to a decent place again, and now I'm looking around and realizing I put off finding a partner until too late. Most people my age seemed partnered. Or men my age and older will want younger. I feel this immense sense of grief, knowing I may have missed my window, and without meaning too, ruined the shape of the life I wanted.

I'm sure there was a man or two in the past 5 years who may have been a good partner for me, but I wasn't in a place to show up seriously.

I'm wondering, given I'm a 34F, is it over for me? I live in a major US city.

I was on instagram and under people you may know, this guy I went on a date 8 years ago popped up. I was 25 at the time, we' had been on two dates, and I liked him and thought he was cool, but I was wrapped up in a messy on again/off again relationship, so I ended things with this man because I wasnt in the place to date anyone.

He moved away the following year. I googled him after seeing his profile. It's private. But I found he has just moved to the city I live in now. I have no clue if he is single (it's been 8 years). No wedding came up for him.

Is it creepy to add him as a friend? Who knows if there is anything there, but I always sort of wondered about him and wonder if it would be weird to reconnect? Especially if it turns out he is in a relationship.

There's this family friend I've known most of my life who is my age, a year older. We weren't super close, but I had always known him and our parents are friendly. He's a super nice guy. I had never thought of him romantically before. As adults, we both ended up in the same city. We got coffee once when he moved--he had a girlfriend around the time. Over the years, I saw him maybe once or twice, always thought he was nice, but he was mostly in a relationship so I didn't think much of him. I invited him to birthdays I threw once or twice, but he was never available or in town.

Then he became single. I was single as well. My mom once asked my if I had ever thought of him romantically and I said, no, not really. Don't know that there's anything there. Saw him once on the apps, don't know if he swiped right on me, but I was swiping so fast I swiped left on him without thinking about it. Anyways, I run into him again awhile after that. He's so nice. And I start to wonder, oh, maybe I am interested in him romantically. He's a great guy, smart, positive, kind. Has all my must haves. I think about it a little. And by the time I realize, a month or two later, maybe I am interested in him that way, he already has a girlfriend. This was about 2.5 years ago. And now they are getting married this summer.

I feel like such a fool. If I had just realized sooner, had asked him to hang out, had just TRIED going on a date with him, had maybe swiped right, I could be getting married to him. And I know he would be a great partner, and we would have had a great life. And now, I'm looking down 34, and still single, and realizing most men who want partnership are partnered, or they want someone younger.

How do I get over the heartbreak of knowing he is partnered and building a family with someone else, and I threw away a perfectly good shot at partnership without realizing it, as it becomes increasingly unlikely every year that it will happen for me?

tldr: realized i had feelings for someone just a little too late and now he is getting married and it feels unbearable, how do I cope?

I have been single for the past 5.5 years. In this time, I have dated a lot. Figured out myself and what I was looking for. I do think I missed out on maybe 2 or so potential partners because of bad timing, and that haunts me. I also have had to deal with a lot personally in the past 2 years - health and career wise. I am turning 34 soon. I live in a major city, so I do have some single friends. But most of my friends from growing up married at 30, and had kids this year. I have noticed that dating has become harder in the past two years. I very much want a partner to share life and raise kids with, but as I turn 34, it is starting to feel like I missed my chance, that most healthy people have figured things out and partnered by now.

I am fortunate in that I have a good family, am wealthy, and lots of friends. My career is fine. I'm conventionally attractive. But I see my friends with their partners, their babies, and my heart aches knowing i may not get that. Each year I get older, it just feels less and less likely, and I feel less hopeful it will happen. How do I live a life I love, even though I feel like I am waiting for the life I want, and that it is a life I may never get? And how do I forgive myself for fumbling opportunities in the past because I wasn't ready, or wasn't aware of what I needed, or my own feelings?

I can't stop obsessing over a person I ended things with 5 years ago after three dates because I thought it felt platonic, and realizing just now I made a mistake because I didn't understand what a healthy connection should feel like. I'm depressed and beating myself up. Where are subs I can get support?

I have been single since I was 28, and been on many dates since then. One man haunts me though. We met about a year after I had gotten out of my last relationship. We went on three dates. The first date was nice enough. The second date we had a nice conversation. We made out at the end of the second date. I felt a little weird about the kiss for some reason at the time. I didn't think about him between dates really, and I had a lot else going on in my life at the time. We then went on a third date. On the third date I felt weird for no reason. Out of body, and just waiting for the date to be over and like I was on autopilot and didn't want to kiss him again. I ended things, saying it felt more like friends. He was understanding.

Now, four and a half years later, I've realized what a total moron I was. This was a great guy--we had lots in common, he was consistent, kind, and now that I've dated a bit, I have a clearer sense of what I am looking for, and I think this guy probably had a lot of what I wanted. Maybe I let superficial reasons get in my head. I didn't feel super strongly at the time, but I also was accustomed to a previously very turbulent relationship, so my sense of what connection looks like may have been miscalibrated. I was pretty new to dating. I thought I didn't want to string this guy along if I wasn't feeling it, and that three dates was plenty for the feeling to be there. Now, I see that I maybe wasn't fully open as I thought I was, or recognizing of what a connection should feel like. I literally didn't regret this decision or think about this man until very recently, when someone I went on three good dates with dumped me unexpectedly. And I did some reflecting on my past and patterns, wondering why I'm still single, and see that that was why.

Now, I'm turning 34 soon. I've accepted that marriage and kids are probably not in my future. But I am having a hard time moving from this guy (obviosuly he is no longer single) and feeling like I have completely sabotaged my life. Any advice appreciated.

I have been on three dates with this guy. Our first date was nice enough. He told me he'd like to see me again and I thought it was worth a second date. Our second date got delayed. My grandfather went into hospice and passed away. We weren't that close, but I ended up going home for two weeks. He was very understanding during this. Our second date we had a nice conversation. He asked me over at the end up of the date. I declined, but did end up making out with him. He wasn't a bad kisser or anything, but I just felt sort of weird about the kiss for some reason. Our next date happened another two or three weeks later because of travel. I didnt find myself thinking about him much between dates, or looking forward to seeing him necessarily. But I guess I was busy, and we werent texting between dates. Our third date happened. The conversation was nice. I didn't feel the urge necessarily to kiss him or touch him. It felt sort of platonic, and I felt sort of distant and out of body the whole date. But he's a good guy, kind, patient, we had similar upbringings and cultures. Similar careers. I just don't know that the romantic pull is there for me or not, and I'm wondering how many dates to give it to develop?