u/LookItsDaphne

I was at a community concert with my kids, wearing a baseball cap and an unbuttoned linen shirt over a tank. An old lady came up to our blanket from behind me to ask for help opening a bottle of soda. "I couldn't open this, and thought i could ask a big, strong..." and she trailed off as she saw me from the front in all my made-up glory. She did not finish her sentence, and my son least forward to volunteer.

She was clearly a bit unsure, but she didn't misgender me! That's something, right?

It's a popular fan theory that Thanos was waiting for Odin to die before launching his war. Given how easily he beat the Nova Corps, I doubt it.

In my headcanon, he was looking for Gamora. He may not have known where to find the Soul Stone, but he clearly knew the condition to get it. So he collected children and raised them in an attempt to create a bond. He was raising children in search of his sacrifice.

Thanos was very old, he'd lived through generations of his conquests and adoptions. Of all the adopted children we saw on screen with him, there was only one suitable for sacrifice.

Yes, he needed the location of the Soul Stone. But without a child he actually loved, that information was useless.

I often see posts asking how to choose a name, or inviting people to give suggestions, or vote on it. I thought I would share my story to see if it resonates with anyone who is thinking about how to choose a name, if that is something that they wish to do.

For over 20 years before my egg cracked, I got through my days by entering a fantasy world where I got to be a woman. This is not, I know, unusual. I took a few different names over time in my fantasy world. But there was one that I used for something like the last 15 years. There were a few things in mind when I chose it. I never didn't like my old name, it was part of my history. My fantasy name shared my given first initial, so it felt like there was continuity, which mattered to me. I was just adjusting a belt that didn't quite fit. The name has a classical tone to it, which I absolutely love. So, for 15 years or so, I would close my eyes and be Daphne.

When my egg cracked, I realized that I didn't have a fantasy name. I had a chosen name. I'd been using it for years, and I didn't need to think about it. I wasn't becoming myself anew, I was exiting fantasy and stepping into reality. As I rolled around town in the private, safe space of my car, I rolled my name off of my tongue and into the world. I felt it in my mouth, and I heard it in my ear. Each time, it felt more right. It felt comfortable. My belt fit.

Not everyone wants continuity with their past life. I'm not suggesting that everyone should identify a name how I did. But I think that the fact of there being low stakes when I chose my name helped me. Like so many people, I tested a few before landing on the one that felt right to me (I also tried out Gwen and Donna, in case you're curious). I picked it based on a few things that I valued (for me, continuity; for me, a mythic figure being my namesake; for me, a classical name the survived to modernity, and that I find beautiful).

So for those of you asking the group what your name should be, I suspect that you've spent time trying to conform to societal expectations. Don't ask for anyone else's expectations. Tell us who you are. Tell us what you love. I want you to tell me who you are, and I want to have the privilege to honor the name that you announce to the world.

I often see posts asking how to choose a name, or inviting people to give suggestions, or vote on it. I thought I would share my story to see if it resonates with anyone who is thinking about how to choose a name, if that is something that they wish to do.

For over 20 years before my egg cracked, I got through my days by entering a fantasy world where I got to be a woman. This is not, I know, unusual. I took a few different names over time in my fantasy world. But there was one that I used for something like the last 15 years. There were a few things in mind when I chose it. I never didn't like my old name, it was part of my history. My fantasy name shared my given first initial, so it felt like there was continuity, which mattered to me. I was just adjusting a belt that didn't quite fit. The name has a classical tone to it, which I absolutely love. So, for 15 years or so, I would close my eyes and be Daphne.

When my egg cracked, I realized that I didn't have a fantasy name. I had a chosen name. I'd been using it for years, and I didn't need to think about it. I wasn't becoming myself anew, I was exiting fantasy and stepping into reality. As I rolled around town in the private, safe space of my car, I rolled my name off of my tongue and into the world. I felt it in my mouth, and I heard it in my ear. Each time, it felt more right. It felt comfortable. My belt fit.

Not everyone wants continuity with their past life. I'm not suggesting that everyone should identify a name how I did. But I think that the fact of there being low stakes when I chose my name helped me. Like so many people, I tested a few before landing on the one that felt right to me (I also tried out Gwen and Donna, in case you're curious). I picked it based on a few things that I valued (for me, continuity; for me, a mythic figure being my namesake; for me, a classical name the survived to modernity, and that I find beautiful).

So for those of you asking the group what your name should be, I suspect that you've spent time trying to conform to societal expectations. Don't ask for anyone else's expectations. Tell us who you are. Tell us what you love. I want you to tell me who you are, and I want to have the privilege to honor the name that you announce to the world.

Today I came out to my 9-year-old daughter. I have her summers and holidays, so this is my first opportunity in person. We spent a few days looking at trans-friendly media and building a little language.

We spoke in the afternoon when we had alone time. At first she was a little emotional. She doesn't have much dad time. She gets grief from kids at school. But she curled up in my arms and asked questions. We talked about what it meant. I told her how I felt this way since I was her age I invited her to choose what I would wear this evening. I invited her to do my makeup. And when I was made up, she ran to her room to put on similar clothes to mine so we could be twins.

She still wants to call me dad, but she has expressed and understands that dad is a girl.

It's a good night ❤️

I've been annoyed by the ever-growing list of steps in the recruitment process. Companies waste so much of our time. I've seen recruiters talk with 20 candidates in screenings, then five candidates go to the first round interview.

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Some companies now pay for written exam time. I'd like to see the government mandate a contractor salary for any hours in interviews, with reimbursement for expenses.

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Companies have internal costs associated with lengthy recruitments, but those costs are hidden. If they had to budget for, say, 5 first round interviews, each an hour, for $90/hour director-level interviewees, plus ~20 in gas and parking, how long will in be before they dial back the recruitment process?

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Or if failing to respond to a candidate post-interview were a violation of a recruitment statute, punishable with a $1,000 fine, would anyone ever be ghosted again?

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This is all exceedingly improbable, but something has to break. What would you like to see happen to rein in this BS?

Yesterday I attended my first pride event. I brought my son and I dressed in the colors of the trans femme flag. People commented on my style,i got the same colors in face paint, and people commented on how cute my 4-year-old son and I are together.(he didn't want to ever leave, he had so much fun)

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Then we went to Panda with his mom. I wasn't sure, but we were out already, and i felt proud. So I ate there in my glitter and pink hotpants. An old man stared at me. When he was leaving he stopped to ask... if he could give my son his cookie. Another man looked me in the eye and gave me a nod.

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I've spent my life terrified of being judged feminine. I've spent the past few months fearing hate crimes or mild bigotry. My first time out I got casual support and kindness.

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Fuck, I love this 😊

I see so many people in this sub talk about being nervous telling their partner, or how wonderful and supportive their partner has been, or how they've lost their partner.

My story is for the others.

My partner has been a source of stress and sadness for me. I can't find work where we are, and she won't consider moving, but expects a 50/50 financial split. My young son is here, so I can't leave for work without losing him. I credit my egg cracking to my being unable to carry the emotional stress along with repression.

So thanks, my live-in ex. You've contributed meaningfully to my happiness by ushering me to my breaking point.

Before my egg cracked, I was repressing my anger and frustration. I don't seem to be able to do that anymore. But that doesn't change my ability to find employment. So I'm spending the first phase of my transition living with a person i resent, sniping at one another more than before, and unable to move until I've secured the employment that has eluded me for so long.

But I'm more productive in my search than I have been in years. I have more focus and purpose than I've had in years. I need to move into my own space where I can focus on my son and my transition.

I cannot relate to stories about soulmates. My transition has been driven forward and informed by a toxic relationship.