He lied to me on Thursday told me his phone died. I saw messages in his recently deleted from Thursday. We just had a baby. I am numb. Basically, this girl is professing her love for him and even discussing a ring? Idk. I can’t cry, I can’t talk, I can’t sleep. Idk what to think- I am numb.
Part of the blame goes to my wonderful(that’s questionable) parents. I did not have a lot of guidance or supervision. We had a nice home and took nice vacations and did activities but they partied a lot and just didn’t really teach me about the importance of every decision I make affecting me later down the line. I vaguely remember them teaching me much of anything from basic stuff like brushing my teeth everyday to more complex stuff like saving money.
With that being said, Everything I know and have learned has been self taught. Now all of my decisions weren’t all bad (I like to think so at least). When I was 17 on house arrest I got pregnant by a loser and it didn’t last. That baby was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got my GED and went to nursing school finished and got a great job.
A few years later I met a great man who I thought I would marry. Turns out he was a loser too(not as bad as the first) and yup you guessed it had another baby! Those kids are 4 years apart.
My life from there on out was ok, I was working, making money, and repairing relationships with family and friends and really working on myself like going to the gym, eating well, and being the best mom I could be although my spending was a little out of the world. I never was taught good habits or learned them either. I essentially had no money saved at all. That brings me to my next point.
Last year my life came crashing down. I lost my job which was devastating, then came my house, and my car was repoed. My kids were a lot older at this point and their dads agreed to take them to for the summer so I could get back on my feet. Which I feel like wasn’t a bad decision at the time. I really had no other options.
Well during this time, you guessed it, I was pregnant again with a 3rd baby by a 3rd guy. My parents stopped talking to me during this time, my mom made up lies about me and spread them to my whole family, I stopped talking to my friends and became so depressed and reached one of the lowest points of my life while carrying this baby.
Fast forward to now- the baby was born healthy! My other children are 14 & 10. Me and the father are really working stuff out together and I’m grateful for him although that’s not perfect either. I got a new job, been saving money and trying to get on my feet. I still don’t talk to some friends and that’s fine. I don’t talk to my mom at all and that’s okay too.
This brings me to my closing point. I just feel regret I guess. Regret about starting 3 different families, regret about not taking my life more serious, regret about some family boundaries and friend boundaries I made and didn’t upkeep. Don’t get me wrong things could be worse but, I can’t help but feel like I should have never had this 3rd baby. How can I start to think more positively and not be so hard on myself? Am I a complete POS? Should I feel bad? I feel so isolated and depressed these days but sometimes I think I’m more at peace without all of the drama attached.
My journey with breastfeeding has not been easy. I exclusively breast fed for the first two months with the exception of triple feeding for a few weeks in between. At my babies 2 month appointment she was gaining beautifully as I was simultaneously burning out. At her four month check up everything came crashing down. She had lost weight. This brought me extreme anxiety frustration and pain feeling like a failure for not being able to feed my baby despite all the hard work I put in. I worked with a lactation specialist and she even encouraged formula at that point because my baby was only getting 2 oz from both breast in about 20 minutes despite me pumping 6-10 times a day and feeding just as much. I decided to completely stop pumping and feeding on the breast one day. I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s been about two weeks and my girl only drinks formula from a bottle and she’s began gaining weight. I feel relieved because she’s gaining but still so sad about the journey coming to an end. Should I keep going? I haven’t pumped in about a week. I don’t even think there’s any milk left. Idk what to think but it’s just discouraging and I’m feeling so sad and like a failure.
Okay….. apologizing now for the long rant, but I need to vent.
People always say “a baby changes everything.” I never really understood it until now.
My partner and I have a 5-month-old daughter, and ever since she was born, he has become completely unbearable. I don’t even know where to start. I’m mentally checked out at this point and honestly looking for an escape. What is supposed to be such a magical time feels like a never-ending day in hell.
I guess the biggest issue is that we have completely different parenting styles. He’s overly, overly concerned about everything to the point that it’s just aggravating. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think caring about your child is a bad thing, but every single thing I do is somehow a problem. It feels like I’m constantly walking on eggshells.
He wants bottles cleaned immediately after they’re used, as if I don’t have 100 other things going on and can just drop everything the second she’s done eating. If I’m on my phone for more than a minute, it’s “you don’t care about the baby” or “she needs attention.” Every hour on the hour he’s trying to feed her and telling me he thinks she’s losing weight because I’m not feeding her enough. I’m like, okay then YOU feed her.
One time I made oatmeal for her and he said, “Why so much?” But if I hadn’t made enough, that would’ve been a problem too. It feels like no matter what I do, it’s wrong.
On top of that, he’s making comments about my weight while we’re out doing family activities. He’s called me lazy because I can’t jump and do everything the second he wants it done. He’ll criticize me, then wonder why I’m upset.
What I’m really starting to resent him for is what happened with breastfeeding. I truly feel like his constant comments and obsession with feeding contributed to the end of my breastfeeding journey. He wanted her attached to me 24/7, then wanted me pumping, then giving bottles, then cleaning, then cooking, then working out, then somehow being fully present and happy through all of it. It felt impossible.
For reference, I work from home, and he constantly tells me that I love my job more than my baby. Meanwhile I’m trying to juggle work, motherhood, the house, breastfeeding/pumping, and everything else that comes with having an infant.
Honestly, it feels like baby boot camp at this point.
The worst part is that I don’t even recognize myself anymore. I feel like a shell of the person I used to be. Instead of enjoying these moments with my daughter, I’m spending so much energy trying to avoid criticism, defend myself, or prove that I’m a good mom.
He’s making me hate being a parent, and I hate even typing that because I love my daughter more than anything. But parenting with him has become so exhausting that I don’t enjoy any of it anymore.
Advice is welcome, although I think deep down I already know what I need to do. I mostly just need some support, encouragement, and maybe reassurance that I’m not crazy for feeling this way.
Am I wrong for feeling completely overwhelmed and resentful at this point?
Hi! Third-time mom, first-time breastfeeder here.
I never tried breastfeeding with my older two kids because it was so long ago, and honestly, I never knew all the benefits. With this baby, I really wanted to give it a try because of everything I researched. I felt like it would be so much better overall for both my baby and myself. I even took a work-from-home job so I could be home with her all day.
This will be my last baby, so I’m trying to do everything I can to spend time with her, breastfeed, and really soak in being a new mom one last time.
It’s been a little rough.
She’s 4 months old now, and I was told I need to start triple feeding again after she lost 5 ounces between weight checks at her 4-month appointment. That appointment absolutely devastated me.
I know my supply has been difficult to maintain, and after starting triple feeding again, I’ve already diminished my freezer stash. The good news is that she’s back up a pound, but I am exhausted. I feel like I can’t do anything other than feed my baby.
I hate to say it, but I feel like it’s become so stressful that it’s ruining some of my bonding time with her. On top of that, I feel like a complete failure, and I’m incredibly upset about the possibility of having to switch to formula.
I also can’t seem to get any straight answers. Every lactation specialist and pediatrician we see has a different theory about increasing supply, fixing her latch, or what might be causing the issue.
Please give me some encouraging words.
I don’t want to quit. I want to keep going, but I don’t know how much longer I can realistically do this because it’s been so hard on me. I’m only pumping about 11 ounces a day (which is up from 5–7 ounces over the last two weeks), and she is nursing directly, but it’s so hard to know how much she’s actually getting.
She went from the 56th percentile to the 2nd percentile. Am I starving my baby? Why isn’t she gaining weight? What is going on?
How can I realistically increase my supply? Would exclusively pumping be better?
Any advice, success stories, or encouragement would mean so much right now.