u/Many-Ad-7122

Hoi,

Vraagje mijn 'ex' vriend is echt heel irritant want hij heeft altijd kritiek op van alles en dan ook nog een de meest lompste en hardste manier ook nog.

Echt Ik vind het echt een l** maar ik heb laatst weer aan hem toegegeven dat hij gewoon wel vaak gelijk heeft.

En door de boosheid die ik voel naar hem word ik gestimuleerd om er was aan te doen, wat het dan ook is wat hij voor kritiek heeft gegeven. (Als ik het er zelf tenminste ook mee eens ben, hoe boos ik eerst ook ben over wat hij nou weer gezegd heeft)

Als jullie horen van je vriendin of je ex " ja, je hebt gelijk en ik doe er wat mee" .

Wat denken jullie dan ? Leuk, gaan we onze reet mee afvegen? of....???

En als hij zegt rustig aan dan doe ik ook rustig aan.....als hij met goede argumenten komt, dan ga ik om .

Zeker veel te saai hè? Een vrouw die je gelijk geeft???

Of zit ik nu weer boordenvol met vooroordelen door eigen ervaringen??

( Ik vrouw 55,hij man 50 )

Since my relationship is over I cannot stand the word 'partner' anymore ( without skipping it asap and telling myself I even have a partner, never had, now I think of it. He was such a manipulating lying asahole.. i could haven invested these years in myself or another, hopefully healthy, real relationship. ..)

I am making myself crazy because I can't Stop, won't stop, obsessively thinking about him and the situation.

I think I really might be damaging something in my brain by now ...

Help??😬

Hi,.

I think my break up made me mute at times.

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I feel oké but I must not be, cuz I don't speak hardy anymore.

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If I speak I have a big change I start tear or cry.

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So I am a mute recluse now, kinda.

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Idk,

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It feels good but idk of it is....

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I cannot think about the past without Punch in the stomach experience....

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I listened to a recorded conversation and got the Shivers.....

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Idk idk ..weird weird weird.......

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,

It's been a while since we broke up, and we haven't been in contact for a while either, except for an emoticon here and there.I just came across photos from two years ago of a specific day we were.I was so madly in love....I saw the photo now and I sent it to him with the caption: I was so in love ❤️I hope you are doing well. And yes, I am now the one who......but anyway 🤷🏽‍♀️

I hope I won't regret it too much.

Struggling to let go of my DA/FA ex even though it’s destroying my nervous system.** Hey everyone, I’ve been wondering about something for a while now. My ex and I are both somewhat emotionally unavailable and avoidant. I’m an FA (Fearful Avoidant), and he’s likely a DA (Dismissive Avoidant), but maybe also FA—either way, it’s severe. He broke things off yet again recently, and we both agreed it was for the best because things had become toxic. But of course, he reached out again. Only this time, it feels different. I am genuinely sick of this, and it has completely broken me down. We’ve had some contact, but he’s been keeping me at a distance. Eventually, he came over for a day recently, but he left incredibly early. For me, that meeting felt like a final goodbye—a definitive end. After that meeting, we didn’t speak at all for two weeks. Then he started reaching out again with random little things, and we eventually made plans to meet up at a place where he was staying overnight for work. That fell through once because he was "too busy," and a second time because a friend of his was visiting. After that, he went completely radio silent again, even though I sent him a message (which, of course, went completely ignored. No response whatsoever). For me, that was the absolute final straw. It made me realize that this is entirely pointless. Yet, every now and then, there’s still this tiny breadcrumb—like a single emoji. To cut a long story short, here is my question: Knowing how he is, knowing how I am, and knowing exactly how much pain, heartbreak, and damage this has caused to my self-esteem, self-respect, and self-image... why am I still staying in touch, however minimal? Why am I still tempted to call him, even though I’m always the one making the effort and always the one getting ignored? How stupid am I??? Or is it actually possible to try and stay in touch, knowing exactly who you both are, and somehow use the pain, heartbreak, and insecurity to grow stronger? I’ve been trying to do the latter for a while now, but I’ve noticed it affects me way more than I thought it would. (I actually had a nervous breakdown over this, it was absolutely horrific). And yet, stubborn as I am, some part of me still wants to call him. I actually want to visit him one more time, just because his place is so beautiful and it used to feel so good to be there. I don't even really know what I'm asking, but can you stay in touch with someone on a somewhat friendly basis when you know where the pitfalls are, and you know neither of you is doing it on purpose? Or are you just completely pathetic if you keep pursuing someone who constantly shows you—and sometimes literally tells you—that he doesn't want you? (😬). His words don't match his actions. He’s unpredictable, and there is absolutely nothing to build on. Honestly, I don't even like him anymore. He has insulted me so many times and made me feel like I'm just a joke to him, to the point where I don't even understand why he still occasionally sends a "Hi" or a "Hey gorgeous." I don’t even know what I want to ask or say anymore; maybe I just needed to get this out of my system. It sounds incredibly sad, and I feel pathetic for being like this. I really hope I can purge him from my system soon. But is staying in touch with someone—knowing exactly who he is and what it does to you because of who you are—incredibly stupid, or is it actually brave? In other words: accepting who we are, knowing we don't mean to hurt each other, and trying to make the best of it... But deep down, I know it’s impossible. My nervous system protests every single time. It’s such a shame, because I truly thought he was a great guy. I’m right on the verge of leaving him behind for good, but there’s still a tiny part of me that made me write this post. Pfft 🥴. Anyway, I’m not even going to ask a specific question, but if you have any insights to share—other than telling me how stupid I am—I’d love to read them. Thanks.

Hoi,

Ik zoek een lift, binnenkort, vanaf station Groningen naar Rhauderfehn in Ost-friesland.

Misschien kleine kans maar ik probeer het toch, is er hier iemand die mij een keer van Groningen wil droppen naar daar waar ik naartoe moet??

Tegen vergoeding natuurlijk...

Kan jij niet maar Ken je iemand dan hoor ik het ook heel graag.

Vast bedankt 🌷

(Er rijden vanaf leer of bad nieuwschans geen bussen en taxi zover ik kan vinden naar daar waar ik zijn moet in Rhauderfehn).

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Hoi,

Ik zit met het volgende.

Mensen zeggen dingen en ook heel stellig bijvoorbeeld Ik wil jou niet in mijn buurt hebben vanwege blablabla.

Of ik wil niet meer dat ....blablablabla

Ik hou me er dan aan want je zegt niet voor niks wat je zegt.

Dus ik respecteer wat ze willen of juist niet maar dan blij ik later paar maanden paar jaar paar weken paar dagen dat ze dat alleen in dat moment bedoelde.

Ik begrijp het gewoon niet hoe weet ik nou dat jij wat jij zegt over 2 weken niet meer Meent??

En dan vinden ze het raar dat ik hou aan dat geen wat ze mij gezegd hebben dat ze willen waar ik me aan hou.

Ik begrijp er helemaal niets meer van en ik weet dus ook niet meer wat ik nou wel of niet moet aannemen en over respecteren van hen.

Hoe weet ik nou hoe of wat en als dit jullie bekend is hoe gaan jullie er dan mee om?!???

Als iemand zegt mij niet in de buurt te willen hebben dan blijf ik uit de buurt.

Als iemand zegt dat de relatie uit is dan respecteer ik dat dan is de relatie uit.

Maar beide zei dat oh nee dat was niet de bedoeling Nee dat heb ik nooit gezegd of ja dat was toen maar nu niet meer.

Like WTAF???!??!

I felt disdain throughout the relationship, and now I finally know why. I thought he cared about me, but boy, was I mistaken. The truth has come out: he is simply put off by my home. He doesn’t consider me "partner material" because of it. He fled my house because of my home—yet he enjoyed himself here for two years. It hurts terribly; the tiny bit of self-confidence I had has been kicked to pieces. I had a friend over yesterday and saw my house through his eyes. Suddenly I understood, but even so: how can you diss someone you’ve been so intimate with for two years just because of their living space? I feel inferior and stupid, almost like a "bag lady," even though I know I’m not. His own house isn't exactly something to write home about. He has a chair, a small bench, a dining table, and a cupboard for his television. That’s it. He has a tiny room for his hobby, but he forgets that as a man, he only has work clothes and one pair of shoes. He has no photos, no books, no plants, no candles, no pillows—nothing but Spartan living. And now I’m expected to meet that hollow standard? I’m completely pissed off. I understand now where that disdain in his voice came from. I noticed it throughout the entire relationship, but he denied it every time—until it all came out at once. Admitting that he more or less "fled" my house is a grave insult. It makes it crystal clear that he never needs to come back, not even if I cleared everything out until only one chair was left. He knows my home is a trauma for me. He knows I’ve been working for years to get it in order, and I was actually starting to feel proud. He knew this before he even visited the first time because I didn’t want him here. He promised to help me, but he never lifted a finger; he only criticized me and put me down. I’m certain he laughed about me behind my back. He would say, "No, you should never move, this is such a nice little house," while simultaneously looking down on me because my place isn't as empty as his. I’m writing this down because while everyone else says, "It’s so nice and cozy here," I now see the contempt—the same contempt I’ve started to feel for my own home and myself. After years of shame, this house was finally becoming a source of pride, and now I feel like I have to start over. I’m crying because I feel like I don’t have a real home, but I should really be crying because I loved a man who only looked down on me. He used my body, my voice, and my personality for his own pleasure for three years. It’s a bitter discovery, but I am completely over him. I am deeply hurt, but I know this: if you love someone, you help them. You don’t just criticize; you roll up your sleeves and get to work where things need to change. Instead, I’ve been on my own since day one. I feel ashamed that I held on to him for so long. 😬😔😞😓

Using my anger to redo my place, again 🫡

I'm jealous of people with houses you can walk in.

Most houses I see online and real life are big.

Their living rooms are as big as my whole house.

Most have outdoor place ass well, a piece of land or big garden or yard.

My place is like a stamp so small, no room for a diner table etc.

I'm living here for 33 year now 🫣.

The place where it is is for a lot of people a dream but because it's so small and has a weird floor plan ( Shower in the living room next to the super Small kitchen, to name one thing) nobody wants to live here, I tried house swap.

This is my jail, and I feel like this is the reason I didn't grow as a person.

That what contributes to the fact my life is small, no nothing, no serious relationship etc

Doesn't matter, just wanted to get of my chest, so envious on people with space to call theirs.

To walk in the house without bumping into things, if I walk from back to front incl kitchen, it's 15 seconds 🙄.

Please try to advise me on how I can reframe this in my mind please cuz everytime I watch TV I get sad. ( USA super big houses, big pieces of land, huge kitchen's, bathroom's as big as my whole house..😬😑)