what kinds of outfits do you wear for work? where do you work and what do you do? does your workplace have a dress code, and if so what is it? where are y'all getting your work clothes? if you work in an office that has casual fridays, how does your friday outfit differ from your everyday work outfit?
i'm just curious :)
So I've had to go shopping for nice work shirts recently, and while shopping in person I've been getting really frustrated at the amount of otherwise perfect work shirts that you'd need to wear an undershirt with. Because like, I don't have a ton of undershirts. I don't have a ton of tank tops that function as undershirts either.
As such I have come to request recommendations for:
Button up blouses / shirts that are appropriate for an office setting and do NOT require an undershirt / can be worn with just a bra underneath
and / or
Undershirts with a built in bra, specifically to wear underneath work shirts that are not opaque
thank you in advance I appreciate it
i was just wondering what do y'all do in the shower? bc it seems like it takes a lot less time to shower if you have short hair. i have pretty long hair (past my shoulders) that's so so so thick so idk if that affects my shower length. for me, a shower typically involves:
- get in, sit down and regulate / decompress. i have autism & adhd so i use showers to help with self regulation and "resetting" if that makes sense
- shave. i have coordination issues so i need to be extremely careful and deliberate about this to avoid accidentally nicking myself, or missing a spot that will annoy me until my next shower
- soap & wash body
- shampoo & conditioner
- make sure everything is rinsed so i don't get out with soapy armpits on accident
what are y'all doing that you can get out of the shower in 5 minutes? do you just speedrun the whole thing? how do you do all of the stuff in so little time?
i've tried timing my showers, doing an alarm etc but nothing works. idk if it's an adhd thing or what but i wanna hear from you guys: are you not shaving in the shower or something? what is it? can y'all shampoo AND condition your hair in under 3 minutes? how????
edit: OHHHH you can shave or condition separately...i see. thank you for enlightening me <3 keep sharing your shower routines i like to hear what y'all are doing :)
to preface this, i am not expecting a child, i do not want a child, nor am i going to acquire a child. i'm just curious about this.
do y'all think it would be weird to name someone after a dead relative of yours? and not like, your grandma who you adored or your dad who took really good care of you in hard circumstances. not even a sibling or cousin who died at a young age.
when i say a "dead relative" i mean one you never even met who either a) has a nice name or b) their being dead has been significant in your life.
so like, for example, if i was going to give my child the name of one of my mom's older brothers who died as an infant (before she was born), would that be weird? i have no connection to them personally but i just think it's sad that they didn't live long enough to make their mark on the world and i'd like to honor them in some way. is it weird to do that? or like, if i wanted to name a child after a great-great-great grandparent who i think had a really pretty name...would it be weird? or is it acceptable? i know you're not supposed to name someone after a still living relative in jewish tradition but is it too weird if the relative has been long dead?
thoughts? would you ever do this?
hi, so i'm gonna be changing my name legally at some point. my original first name was very feminine and i really dislike it, so in middle school i changed it to a "placeholder" name. then at the end of middle school i changed it to what i thought was a permanent name, but idk how i feel about it. people assume it's feminine and i just don't really vibe with it anymore. soon i'll go through the process of changing my legal name but don't want to change it to the one i'm using right now. i have a couple names which i am considering:
Vic
Jules
Frankie
Andy
Jerry / Gerry
(a big part of my name change is that i'm cutting ties with my dad, and my current name reflects heritage that comes from his side of the family, so it has to go as well. i'm switching to my mom's maiden name no matter what though, which is very italian and starts with a T. i'm kinda undecided on whether or not i want to switch my middle name (Ocean) to my first name or leave it, but i'm keeping it somewhere in there either way because i love the ocean.)
the issue with those names is that they're all people in my family who died (relatively) young. Vic is for Victor, my mom's older brother who died as an infant, Jules is for Julian, my mom's other older brother who died as an infant (yeah i know. we hate to see it). Frankie is for Francesco, my grandfather's younger brother who died at around 8 years old, Jerry or Gerry is for my grandfather who died when he was 30, and Andy is for Andrea, my grandma's older sister who died in her 60s of ALS.
i brought this idea up to my grandma, specifically the idea of taking the name Vic or Jules to keep the memory of her sons alive since they died young enough that there isn't much to remember them by aside from some pictures. she said that she would be honored and got a little emotional.
but when i brought it up to my mom she got kind of weird about it and was like "you've changed your name a lot, people know you as [current name]" etc etc. i think she was also weirded out about the fact that i want to name myself after a dead relative. the logistics part of her argument did make sense. i have three email addresses all with different names. it's easier to coordinate than you'd think though.
so do i change my name again? i really like the ones i listed, they're all gender neutral enough where you read them and you wouldn't know the gender of the person just from the name, which is what i want. i'll also be going into college next year, only community college but i'll transfer out within a few years. so if i wanted to be known professionally as Vic or Jules i could be, right? or have i changed my name enough times where i should stick with the one i've got now?
hey y'all, i'll be turning 18 at the end of the year. my 18th birthday present was SUPPOSED to be tickets to the olivia rodrigo unraveled tour but my dad fumbled that so it's not an option anymore. the issue is i can't think of very many other things i really really really want, and the things i can think of are expensive.
so i'm thinking of asking for either:
trip to italy (this would be my birthday and graduation gift, and would happen next summer, for context i've never left the country and have always wanted to go to italy to see where my family is from)
an ipl for hair removal
and i know those are like, some of the more expensive things to ask for. but i don't know how much is too much for an 18th birthday gift. like i'm going to be a real adult, does that mean i should ask for a $300 gift if my dad can afford it? should i ask for something else, and if so what? my household already has two cats and a dog, so as much as i would like to adopt another cat there is simply no room for it. i don't drive, i don't really hang out with any friends, i'm a pretty solitary person (thank you autism) so i don't want a huge party or anything either. i'm nonbinary and want to change my name legally but i haven't made any permanent decisions yet. i have so so so many clothes and i know if i just treat this birthday like a regular one i'm gonna end up with more clothes that i don't need at this point.
tldr what is the acceptable cost for an 18th birthday present, and any appropriate gift suggestions that might be useful for a young adult?
thank you i appreciate your help in advance
hi, i'm almost 18, i live in the US (california specifically) and i don't understand how to get a drivers' license. i kind of assumed that you just went in, did the tests and then you get your license. but then i looked into it and was like...learners permits??? huh??? wdym lessons, where do i go for lessons? what drivers ed? and then i simply gave up and haven't returned to it. i tried to look at it with my mom, but she has some cognitive issues and also got overwhelmed. we've both said we're gonna go back to it, although obviously neither of us are familiar with the process at all so we're fully going off the dmv website which is not the most concise and clear resource lol
so like, as simply as possible: what are the steps for getting a drivers' license in california?
hi, i'm a rising high school senior and i am going to need to start looking at colleges soon. the main issue i'm having is deciding where to go. i live in an area that has a LOT of colleges, so if i want to stay close to home i can. but i don't know if i want to or not.
i'm currently living at home with my parents, brother & pets. my parents are having uhhh...relationship issues to put it lightly. it's really really difficult living with my dad, he has very poor emotional regulation skills and keeps making demeaning, insulting, and mean-spirited comments about my mom even though i have been telling him not to. i have also noticed that he has recently been trying to make me "pick a side" eg by saying stuff like "you see how she set me up there right?" all that to say, my home life is not great.
however, i do really love my mom. she is one of the most important people in the world to me and i don't want to just abandon her, although she is supportive of me moving out if that's what i want to do. she had a brain tumor a few years ago and is still recovering so i'm a little protective of her. i also have a cat and a dog who i know i probably won't be able to take with me, but i don't want to leave them either. and my grandma lives nearby, she was recently widowed and if i go to college nearby and don't move into a dorm, i'll move in with her.
i'm looking at a couple of schools that i want to go to. the furthest one away is a 1.5hr+ drive, the closest ones are under an hour away. i haven't really been considering anything out of my general region just because of my mom. i truly don't know what i want to do in terms of moving away or staying for college. i have done some soul searching and deep reflection but i just don't know. whatever college i go to needs to have services for disabled students because i have autism.
so essentially what i'm asking for advice with is: how do i make this decision? and please don't say "listen to your heart" or something like that - everyone in my life keeps giving me similar advice, but i HAVE listened and my heart is giving me the most unclear instructions ever. like i legit have no idea what to do, and i just need someone to guide me. so if you were in my shoes what would you do?
thank you in advance <3
so for context: i am 18 and very uncomfortable in clothes that show skin. i have more body hair than a lot of other girls / women do, i try to shave my armpits & bikini line but i am very bad at it. i feel super self-conscious about wearing anything that exposes my stomach and legs because i'm worried other people will judge me (i have had this happen to me in the past so it's not a completely unfounded fear).
anyway, i've decided recently that i want to wear a bikini this summer. i live in california so i have lots of opportunities for going to the beach. i have a list of bikinis that i think are super cute and i really want to wear, i just don't think they would look good on me. i'm not fully able to just ignore what other people might think of me, so any advice along those lines won't work for me.
how have you gotten over feelings of insecurity around wearing a bikini or other somewhat revealing swimwear / clothes, and how old were you when this happened?
so a lot of ADHD meds like methylphenidate (concerta) can cause heat sensitivity/intolerance. i would like to know...how are y'all coping with this?
i'm also on an SSRI which adds to the heat intolerance. personally i have found that cold baths, cold water/beverages, and being in basements work pretty well. do you have your own strategies and if so what are they?
so i'm going into my senior year of high school, i have never had a job before but decided earlier this year to apply for two paid internships. one of them is through the county i live in, the other is at a bookstore. i didn't think i'd get accepted to either of them but i got accepted to BOTH!!!! they both pay $18/hr, first one is up to 25 hours a week, the other one is 4-8 hours a week. i don't have my schedules for either of them yet but i'm super excited!!! i even had to go open a checking account earlier this week!! i'm gonna have PAYCHECKS!!! like i even have a debit card now
I recently saw a video that claimed to be of a scallop moving and I was like surely that's not real. So I googled "how do scallops move" and the explanations of "they open and close their shells" are not making sense. Why do they move that way? Does the opening & closing of their shells really create enough ... momentum or whatever to get them off the ocean floor? How??????
it's almost june and i figured that i would ask, what are you wearing to the beach / pool this summer? asking about swimsuits ofc, but also sandals, hats, coverups, any other fashion accessories - even just hot weather clothes in general. are you doing anything that you're going to get new clothes for? where are you buying swimwear? literally anything related to summer fashion. i just want to know!
i've been doing one-on-one ballroom dance lessons for about a year, stuff like foxtrot, east coast swing, nightclub two step, etc. also recently been getting into latin dance with stuff like rumba and salsa. i started doing it as a way to improve my coordination and get exercise in a way that my body seems to enjoy. i've been doing it as a casual thing mostly, i have school so i can't really invest in it as much as i might want to. dance feels very natural to me though, it's one of the only physical activities that people have told me i'm good at. i haven't done any showcases at my studio yet, but i've had my mom ask me if i want to. i feel like i kind of should start doing showcases and competitions soon, although i don't know if it's too early: i've only been dancing consistently for a year and i don't know how i would feel dancing in front of a bunch of people.
but i was just wondering: if you've done competitions, when did you start? like at what point after you started learning how to dance?
I have been trying to figure out what the hell was going on with my great-great-grandma. This is my paternal grandma's maternal grandma. She had an incredibly generic first and last name that varies across records (yes, both of them vary). I don't know her parents' names. She pops into existence in the 1920 census when she is married to my great-great-grandfather. She has no consistent birth year - somewhere from 1882 to 1888 is most probable - and her death certificate says she was born in Macon county, Missouri. She divorces my great-great-grandfather at some point and in 1940 she's listed as living with a "Charles S" who is her brother: he had a different surname that was erased. It says she was born in Missouri and he was born in Illinois: they were 58 and 64 years old respectively. They were also living with a Frank Martin (who had a different surname than either of them) who is listed as my great-great-grandma's nephew. Frank and Charles were both married. Where are their wives? Who knows! The thing that's giving me trouble here is that she later married Frank. Yes. Yes that's right. Her "nephew". Yeah. She married him.
BUT I don't think he was actually her nephew. He gave the information on her death certificate and didn't know either of her parents' names - her dad's name is listed as "?" and her mom's as "unknown". Very helpful. Also, in the 1930 census, it says Charles (who has a surname this time, which kind of matches the one that was crossed out in the 1940 census - Ward) was a "roomer" at her house, as was Frank - who was married at the time. Again, where is his wife? Unclear. I cannot find anything for her or my great-great-grandpa in the 1910 census. I cannot find anything that's for sure her on the 1900 census - I have some close matches though. The issue is that I don't know what race she was: she was listed as white in all the records but we're not sure.
(Also worth noting that my great-great-grandpa died under suspicious circumstances in the 1930s after they divorced. Police initially called it a suicide, a coroner said that it was a stomach ulcer. He left most of his money to their kids. He was a WWI veteran and likely had PTSD/mental health issues. That might have been why they got the divorce. I don't know if this is relevant or not but I'm sharing it anyway. It doesn't explain any of the other stuff, though.)
The thing that I'm most interested in is her family or lack thereof. If Charles was her brother, why would he be listed like that in only one census, and if he wasn't, why would she say he was? If Frank was actually her nephew, why didn't he know his grandparents'/her parents' names? If Frank wasn't her nephew, why didn't he know his parents-in laws' names? Why are they staying with my great-great-grandma when they're married? Where are their wives? Why can I not find a single thing about my great-great-grandma's early life? Did she change her name? Why? What's going on?
[EDIT: My great-great-grandma was named Mary or Marion, she gives her maiden name as Johnson or Johnston - it varies. I found an obituary that lists her, "Mrs. Frank Martin," as Charles Ward's sister, and it mentions that he had been living with her and Frank before her death. I am unable to find any records of a Charles Ward born in Illinois who has a sister named Mary.]