u/Mindless-Language261

I’m 27 and have been running a food business with two restaurant locations for the past three years. It grew very quickly. I initially rented a location cheaply, which later allowed me to purchase my first commercial property. My father believed in me and helped me make that possible.
I built the business together with my mother, but she made irresponsible business expenses and paid herself an unrealistic salary. I kept working harder to cover everything, eventually pushing myself into mental and financial difficulties.

In March, I experienced burnout and psychosis. I explained to my mother that I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore, but unfortunately she didn’t understand. We had a major argument, and she immediately stopped working in the business. Since then, I’ve been left trying to run and save both restaurants alone because I can’t bear to watch everything I built fall apart.
The biggest operational problem is staffing. Employees regularly cancel, don’t show up or leave quickly, so I constantly have to cover shifts myself. After another serious family conflict, I was also kicked out of my mother’s home two months ago and currently have no permanent place to live.

I’m starting to realise that I want and need more time for myself. Deep down, I feel that selling the business and doing something calmer would probably be better for my health. However, the idea makes me nervous because the restaurants are my main source of income. At the moment, they still allow me to save a good amount of money, even though running them is putting enormous pressure on my mental health.

Because of family stress and spending so much time on the business, I never finished college and only have a high school diploma. However, I’m highly motivated and believe that if I started something new and had the time to fully focus on it, I could grow it quickly again—just as I did with this business.

Most of what I’ve done until now was for my family. I now want to choose myself and build something calmer that doesn’t depend so heavily on employees.
Would you sell a profitable business to protect your mental health and start over, or keep it because it provides a good income and allows you to save?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 27-year-old woman and I’ve been replaying the last year of my life over and over in my head. I genuinely want honest opinions because I don’t know anymore whether I was the problem or whether this situation had already become impossible.

Growing up, my mom was my biggest supporter. She believed in me, encouraged me and I always looked up to her. That’s why this hurts so much. I don’t just feel like I lost a business partner, I feel like I lost my mom.
A few years ago we started a restaurant business together. We were equal partners, but our roles were very different.
I handled almost everything outside of the kitchen: marketing, social media, administration, taxes (including hers), permits, hiring staff, inventory, suppliers, menu changes, repairs, opening hours, business strategy and opening our second location. My mom mainly focused on the kitchen and maintaining food quality.

At first things went well, but over time her behavior started changing. From my perspective she began making sudden decisions that had huge consequences for the business, like randomly wanting to close locations early or close them completely without discussing it with me first. I would spend days preparing inventory, marketing campaigns and staff schedules, only to receive a message saying we were closing.

I kept trying to explain that these decisions were hurting the business because we still had rent, salaries and other fixed costs to pay. It felt like everything I was building could disappear overnight.
At the same time I became increasingly worried about her personally.

She started saying things that she had never said before, like telling me I used to be fat, that I wasn’t ready to have children, or discouraging me whenever I was trying to improve my health.

There were also situations that honestly confused me. She would sometimes come into my room without respecting my privacy. One time she video-called me with a friend while they appeared to be under the influence and pointed the camera at me while I was half undressed in my room.
I also became concerned because I believed she was drinking heavily and using cocaine. I can’t prove that those things caused the changes in her behavior, but from my perspective they seemed to happen during the same period that our relationship and the business started falling apart.

Another thing that confused me was that she suddenly wanted access to our business bank account after never really asking about it before. Instead of discussing things directly with me, other family members—including one of my aunts—started messaging me on her behalf about business matters.

Despite all of this, I genuinely kept trying to save both our relationship and the business.

I spoke to her many times in person and also sent long messages explaining that I wasn’t okay mentally anymore.
I have experienced psychosis before, and after another episode I was trying really hard to protect my mental health because I knew what could happen if I ignored my limits again.

Instead of feeling supported, I felt like I never got any peace. Even while I was on vacation I kept receiving calls about new problems and sudden decisions within the business.

Eventually my mom told me to leave the house. I moved out.
Family members tried to mediate between us, but by then I was mentally exhausted.

Eventually I completely broke down emotionally. I said things I’m not proud of. I involved family members because I felt desperate and unheard. Looking back, I know that probably made the conflict even worse.
The part that hurts the most is that I honestly never wanted to destroy my mom or the business.

Everything I did was because I believed I was building something for **our future**, not just mine.
Even today I’m still working hard, building businesses and trying to create a stable future for myself.
I don’t hate my mom.
I actually still love her and worry about her.
I just don’t recognize the person she became.
So my question is:

**Based on everything you’ve read, does this sound like I was the main problem?**
**Was I simply reacting badly to an already unhealthy situation, or does it sound like I crossed lines that caused all of this?**

Please be completely honest.

I’m not looking for people to tell me I’m right.
I just want outside perspectives because I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt and wondering if I could have prevented everything from falling apart.

Hi everyone,
I’m a 27-year-old woman, and I really need honest advice because I’ve been questioning myself every day since everything happened.
Growing up, my mom was my biggest supporter. She always believed in me, encouraged me, and was someone I looked up to. That’s why this hurts so much. I don’t just feel like I lost a business partner—I feel like I lost my mom.
A few years ago we started a restaurant business together as equal partners, but we had very different roles. I handled almost everything outside of the kitchen: marketing, administration, taxes (including hers), permits, hiring staff, inventory, suppliers, menu changes, repairs, opening hours, business strategy, and opening our second location. My mom mainly focused on the kitchen and maintaining food quality.
Over time things started changing. From my perspective, she began making sudden business decisions, like wanting to close locations early or shut them completely without discussing it with me first. I would spend days preparing inventory, staff schedules and marketing, only to receive a message saying we were closing early. I felt like all the work I was putting in could disappear overnight.
I tried talking to her many times, both in person and over WhatsApp. I explained that I wasn’t okay mentally anymore. I’ve experienced psychosis before, and after another episode I was trying everything I could to protect my mental health because I knew how badly things could go if I ignored my limits.
Instead of getting peace, I felt like the stress only increased. Even while I was on vacation I kept getting calls and messages about problems at work and sudden decisions being made.
Another thing that really confused me was that her behavior seemed completely different from the mom I knew growing up.
She started making hurtful comments about me, like saying I used to be fat, telling me I wasn’t ready to have children, or discouraging me when I was trying to improve my health.
There were also situations that made me genuinely worried. She sometimes came into my room without respecting my privacy. One time she video-called me with a friend while they appeared to be under the influence and pointed the camera at me while I was half undressed in my room.
I also became concerned because I believed she was drinking heavily and using cocaine. I can’t prove that those things caused the changes in her behavior, but from my perspective they seemed to happen during the same period that our relationship and business started falling apart.
She also suddenly wanted access to the business bank account after never really showing much interest in it before. Instead of talking to me directly, family members—including one of my aunts—started messaging me on her behalf about business matters.
Eventually my mom told me to leave the house.
Family members tried to mediate between us, but by that point I was mentally exhausted. I completely broke down emotionally. I said things I’m not proud of and involved family because I felt desperate and unheard. Looking back, I know that made everything worse.
The hardest part is that I never wanted to destroy my mom or our business.
Everything I did was because I genuinely believed I was building a better future for both of us. Even now, after everything, I’m still working hard, building businesses, and trying to create a stable future for myself.
I don’t hate my mom.
I still love her and worry about her.
I just don’t recognize the person she became.
My question is:
Based on everything you’ve read, does it sound like I was the main problem? Was I reacting to an already unhealthy situation, or do you think I crossed lines that caused all of this?
Please be completely honest. I’m not looking for validation. I genuinely want outside perspectives because I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt and wondering whether I could have prevented everything from falling apart.