u/Minimum_Nebula7099

If you have any recommendations please share in comments.

Idk if this related to how brain chemistry works or some repetitive behavior due to cultural thing or growing up kind of thing but I believe that we as humans evolved to avoid peace of mind as a couple.

This is not just for women or men it’s just something some people don’t admit or do actually and called crazy lol.

So no matter how peaceful, healthy, loving, supportive your partner is after 6 months to 1 year of relationship the tension between you will fade kinda and the relationship tends to be more quiet peaceful.

And that’s when brain start panicking and craving this tension again, so it makes you think that there is a problem, this could be thinking you are bored of each other which eventually triggers fear of abandonment for some people, or could be imagining that they are just not interested as they were before…

Basically making something from nothing, and this makes you create new conflicts, feeling of being not compatible anymore.. which leads to growing apart theories lol.

This way the conflicts are unavoidable and there is 50% 50% chance that each relationship will work out.

My question is are we as humans meant to have long term relationships or we built for breeding purposes just and moving on like in the animal kingdom?

Keep in mind this isn't about "scoring." It's about treating someone like a person. No begging, no weirdness.

1. Look presentable

Hygienes are VERY important, if you have bad breath take care of it talk to a doctor, take showers regularly, use deodorant, cut your nails, look presentable no weird clothes find your style deep search the colors and the styles that suit you well.
The sign "I care about how I present myself." Should be obvious from miles away.

Soften your facial expression and keep your body language open. Say please and thank you. Have some manners.

2. Give her space and an out

Always approach openly and in her line of sight. If she's at a coffee shop table, stand behind the seat across from her about 60cm away. She should feel like she can easily move or leave at any time.

Don’t block her way on the street/touch her/grab her hand!! Feeling trapped is scary for a woman, she needs to feel safe in order to react positively, so DONT BE THAT GUY.

3. Start soft and neutral

Say "excuse me" quietly and politely. Don't yell. Don't touch her or her things.

Your next line that you spit out of your mouth should be a non-sexual, situational compliment something about her choices, NOT HER BODY.

“That book looks interesting, what do you think of it so far?"
"Cool jacket, where'd you get it?"

Avoid "sexy," "gorgeous," or "beautiful" right off the bat. It's too much too soon. If you must compliment her looks, keep it to something like her hair or glasses and keep it light.

You can even lead with: "I don't mean to bother you..." etc It shows self-awareness.

4. Read her reaction

Not interested? She leans away, gives one-word answers, avoids eye contact. That's fine. Smile, say "Have a nice day," and walk away. Don't keep looking at her. Don't circle back. Don't insist. Don’t be a clown. Don’t ask for her number. JUST LEAVE.

This isn't a reflection on you. She could be emotionally unavailable or simply not interested in men, or she is in a bad mood, have a bf, sick etc..

Interested? She holds eye contact for a second or two, smiles genuinely, puts down her phone/book, or gives a longer answer. Great.

5. Ask permission

"May I sit here?" or "Do you mind if I join you?"

If she says NO follow step 4. If she says YES, sit and keep it light. Books, movies, shows, local events (skip politics/cringe/complains/studies/work), yk weather — easy stuff.

6. Exit gracefully or stay

After about 10 minutes, if you want to wrap it up: mention you've got somewhere to be (friend, work, skhra, idk something to catch up to ), offer your number or instagram, and say you enjoyed talking. Make it clear you'd love to hear from her, no pressure.

If you stay: when you finish your talk, ask "I'm going somewhere your choice (not your home creepy unc ) would you mind joining me?" instead of “can I take you with me to place X?" The first feels generous. The second can feel like a transaction. And again, no pressure.

Hey, I’m 23 and looking for a real connection, not just something casual. I want a genuine girlfriend, not a pen pal or a project. I’m not rating my self I can do reveal on DM.

About me:

I work in tech and I’m pretty into gaming DBD to be exact ,art, museums, debates, walks, trying new things.

I’m flirty guy exclusively to my partner.
I used to paint and draw, so I appreciate creativity.
I’m an ambivert, I like my alone time but I’m not shy.
Not Muslim and I’m okay with your beliefs as long as you don’t judge.
IT is my specialty.

Dealbreakers: No mind games, no sexism, trauma bound to an ex, self centered, and please don’t be a heavy smoker/drug user (I’m strictly non-smoking and only drink on special occasions)

What I'm looking for:

Girls aged 21-27.
I like both feminine and tomboy styles, so personality matters more.
I’m not into rushing things or expensive/constant dates. I just want to see if we click.

I’m not here to be creepy or lustful. I’m full of myself and just looking for my partner in crime. If you like gaming, good conversation, and keeping it real, or you think I’ll match your vibe send me a message.

I spent a lot of time obsessing over finding my dream job. I thought once I got it, everything would click, I'd feel motivated every morning, work would feel meaningful, and life would just be better.

Well, I got the job, And honestly It's just a job.

It makes me mentally tired. Some days I get bored. It has the same frustrations as any other job I've had. The only real difference is the title.

What I've realized is that my happiness doesn't come from work at all. It comes from what I do after work — hanging out with friends, pursuing actual hobbies, having evenings and weekends that are mine. My dream job turned out to be just another way to trade time for money.

People say "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life." That's a lie. Do what you love and you'll learn to love it a little less because now it comes with deadlines, meetings, etc.

Long story short, I’m M23 in my first date’s I’ve always felt uncomfortable by touching, and I feel like they take it as I’m shy and come even closer, I never told any girl that feels like it’s gonna be rude and awkward, is that a bad thing?

I’m currently in the middle of a mental breakdown, and I need to know if anyone else has felt this way and fixed this bug.

I feel like my brain has split into two parts. One part is a hopeless romantic who just wants to love and be loved, who sees potential in everything and wants to hold on. The other part rejects this and see this as pathetic and makes me swear uncontrollably or talk to my self trying to shut it down and I realize that I’m I weirdo in public place And it feels like there is 2 people in me fighting constantly.

I looked also into attachment styles and it seems like I have anxious attachment. I know I shouldn’t self-diagnose too firmly, but the description fits like a glove. And it’s eating me alive. The constant back-and-forth, the hypervigilance, the shame after reacting, the exhaustion of not knowing which version of me will show up.

What’s scaring me most is my own wellbeing. I’m afraid of what this push-pull will drive me to do if I don’t get a grip soon.

I would like to hear from you tbh about this cause I have no f clue what therapy will be like, I would like to hear about the process . And I don’t want to go back to alcohol I’ve been sober for a year. It’s fucked up situation yeah but hopefully someone can relate.

Edit: ( the post is about the concern of developing some mental disorders because of this constant fight not about relationships or being lonely etc)

I’m currently in the middle of a mental breakdown, and I need to know if anyone else has felt this way and fixed this bug.

I feel like my brain has split into two parts. One part is a hopeless romantic who just wants to love and be loved, who sees potential in everything and wants to hold on. The other part rejects this and see this as pathetic and makes me swear uncontrollably or talk to my self trying to shut it down and I realize that I’m I weirdo in public place And it feels like there is 2 people in me fighting constantly.

I looked also into attachment styles and it seems like I have anxious attachment. I know I shouldn’t self-diagnose too firmly, but the description fits like a glove. And it’s eating me alive. The constant back-and-forth, the hypervigilance, the shame after reacting, the exhaustion of not knowing which version of me will show up.

What’s scaring me most is my own wellbeing. I’m afraid of what this push-pull will drive me to do if I don’t get a grip soon.

I hope this won’t get removed I would like to hear from Moroccans tbh about this cause I have no f clue what therapy here will be like, I would like to hear about the process . And I don’t want to go back to alcohol I’ve been sober for a year. It’s fucked up situation yeah but hopefully someone can relate.

Edit: ( the post is about the concern of developing some mental disorders because of this constant fight not about relationships or being lonely etc)

So I’ve realized recently that I have a pretty strong thing for women with raspy or slightly husky voices. You know the type – a little rough around the edges, maybe a bit smokey, sounds like they’ve just woken up or used their voice a lot. Think Emma Stone, Scarlett Johansson. Something about it just hits different.

I’m not here to make a deep psychological claim, but I’m genuinely curious – why do some of us find that attractive? (Knowing I have deep voice myself) Is it because it sounds more “real” or less polished? Does it subconsciously signal maturity, experience, or confidence? Or is it just a random wiring thing?

Also, I’ll admit I’m low-key asking: what does it say about me? Like, is there a known “type” of person who’s into raspy voices?

Mostly though, I just want to chitchat. If you’re into raspy voices (or even if you’re not), let’s talk. What voices do you find hot? Soft? Deep? Accents? Anyone else have a “weird” voice preference they can’t quite explain?

Let’s hear it.