Is this a sign that medication is working?
Hello everyone, I would like your feedback on what medication does for you. I've been taking medikinet for several months now: 20mg after breakfast and after lunch. I haven't really been able to understand whether or not it was working for me for a while, mostly because I'm built in a way that as long as I have external pressure I get stuff done, so I'm not struggling at work and I enjoy what I do from 9 to 4. Recently I've been trying to analyze my own mind a bit better and if I had to describe any difference it would go like this:
In the morning before I take it my brain is like a flipper machine. Depending on what I need to do, the chaos might vary, but I do have countless thoughts zip zapping in a millisecond and sometimes it does get very annoying, to the point I just want to scream to my brain to shut up.
When I take my meds, I mostly see a difference after half a hour, in the sense that I don't have that background noise anymore. I don't notice it straight away, it's more so that I will be doing my tasks and then look back at them and go "oh woh look at that, I didn't actually trail off to anywhere doing X and y". I do seem to perceive the wearing off around lunch: the biggest giveaway is when songs bits are starting to spin round and round in my brain. I am currently and against my will obsessed with Hamilton, so when I get one random quote stuck in my brain and repeating over and over, I know it's wearing off lmao.
I don't notice the fading as much in the evening, maybe because the day is ending and I'm more relaxed?
If I had to describe what it's like to be under the effects of the meds, I would say it only acts on the amount of thoughts you have in the moment. When I'm doing something, drawing, reading, working etc I'm able to focus on that alone, but if I'm not doing anything or just walking, my brain is...empty? I don't know how truly describe it in an accurate way, it feels strange because I have to willingly think about something rather than my brain automatically jumping from one topic to another. It feels much more deliberate? I am choosing to think about something? Does that make sense? Again, when I'm not doing a task it's quite odd because it truly feels like my brain is just blank... Is this how neurotypicals feel on a daily basis?