u/Miss_-_Fortune

I’m (24f) looking to adopt a 4 year old Maremmano-Abruzzese Sheepdog from my local shelter. He is very loving and sweet. He loves people and is really smart. He’s been at the shelter since he was 1 year old :(

My partner (28m) isn’t sure about adopting him because of his joint problems. He can’t do long distance walks. 20-30min is optimal for him. And my boyfriend would rather have a dog he can hike all day with.

I am sure that with more movement and possibly swimming in the lake (he loooves water) the dog’s muscles would get stronger and weaken his pain so he would be able to walk for longer. But he won’t ever be able to hike. I will love him no matter if he gets stronger or not and a couch dog is a better option for us anyway, because we play a lot of board games and spend a lot of time at home or at the lake when it’s to hot. The lady at the shelter said that anything is better than staying at the shelter and I totally agree. It’s better for him to have his own dog bed in our big flat, than to be locked up. I don’t think he’ll get adopted if we won’t take him and I always wanted to have a dog.

We live together with my boyfriend’s brother (25m) who doesn’t have anything against us getting a dog but doesn’t want to participate in the care. (Which is fine, I’m already happy that the dog will never be alone because we all work different shifts) But he will gladly cuddle with the dog and play with him.

My question is, do any of you have experience with joint pain/osteoarthritis in dogs? What do you do to make their pain weaker and help them enjoy life?

I (24f) cut contact with my mom 3 years ago. I'm still trying to stay in contact with my long distance father and grandma (my moms mom). My father lives in a different country (always did) and my grandma lives in the country I was born in. I try to call each of them every couple of months, because I still would like to have some kind of a familly. The problem is whenever we talk on the phone the topic of my mom always comes up. They are saying I should call or visit her. Then I tell them why I physically can not do it, because I do not feel safe around her and I'm getting a post traumatic distress reaction every time I see her. They don't response to that part and then say "but you only have one mother" or "shes still your mother". This topic makes me want to talk to them less and less. I don't think it's their fault, I don't think their belive me or understand it. I also don't think it would be fair to them to cut contact with them, because they never abused me. How can I go around that topic, so that I can stay in contact with them and not have to defend myself every time?
(they don't call me on their own, I'm the only one making effort. I also would not give any of them my address, in the fear of them giving it to her.)

I (24f) lived with my parents in Switzerland since I was 14 years old. During that time I was emotionally, psychologically and sometimes physically abused by my mother and my stepfather. It was the worst time of my life and there wasn’t a day where I didn’t fear coming home. I ended up with a complex post traumatic disorder from it. At 21 I moved out and cut all contact with them. I moved twice since then. She stills calls me (I don’t pick up anymore) tries to guilt trip me into letting her in my life and doesn’t respect my decision. She doesn’t know where I live and I’d like to keep it that way. On Monday my worst fear came true. I was buying groceries and she showed up in the store. She followed me around the store and kept talking to me. My hands were shaking and I managed to escape. Since then I have a post traumatic stress reaction and it’s really not pretty. I’m dizzy, have chest pain, nausea and I can’t be alone because I’m getting panic attacks and cannot stop crying. I’m really scared she will find out where I live.
What can I do to protect myself from her? Is there anything I can do? Yes. She knows that I don’t want her in my life, she just refuses to understand it. She is dangerous and unpredictable at times. Please help me, I don’t know what to do. And if I even can do anything to protect myself.

I (24f) have cut contact with my mom about 3 years ago. She was really abusive to me growing up (mostly psychological abuse but not only). She’s the person I’m most scared of and I’m still having nightmares of living at that home. I moved twice since I’ve gone no contact with her, so she doesn’t know where I live.
I have diagnosed CPTSD because of her.

Yesterday I went to the store to buy some food for me and my roommates. I was standing by the vegetable alley. Then out of nothing I’ve heard her voice. She was standing next to me and talking to me. I’ve said nothing, I’ve turned away and walked in different direction. She followed me around the store and asked questions like why am I behaving this way and if I can’t even say hello to her. I ran to the register, even though I wasn’t done with my shopping. My hand were trembling, I had to dry several times before I succeeded getting my debit card in. I paid and ran away hoping she wouldn’t see where I live.

I got home and I started crying like crazy. It’s the next day and I still cannot stop crying. I don’t feel safe, I’m really scared. I’m also really mad at myself that I didn’t say anything to her. That I didn’t remind her that I want nothing to do with her. But I couldn’t talk that moment. I was really scared.
I’m also disappointed in myself that I still react that way to her. Last time I saw her, I was feeling like I had a strong iron deficiency for the next 3 months. I hope this time will be different. I’m feeling dizzy, sick and can’t stop crying.

My boyfriend said I should write her a letter said she should leave me alone and that I really mean it. I’m thinking about it but I don’t know if it changes anything. Every time I tried to tell her how what she did made me feel, she denied everything. I really don’t think she is able to respect my decision. What should I do?

Update:
Yesterday was hell for me I cried all the time whenever I was alone. I was feeling dizzy and neusous. At 1 pm I started feeling strong pressure on my chest that wouldn't go away. I was llegitimitly scared something is really wrong. I've gone to the doctor and checked my heart. In the end it was just a part of my body reacting to the trigger. Everything is ok with my body, I just have to endure it for at least a couple of days. I've got some neusa medication perscribed and something to calm my nerves down. I still cannot be alone, but keeping myself busy and spending time with people helps really good. I've texted my friends and I won't be alone after going home from the university. They will keep me company, we will probably play some games, draw, oder do some sports.
I've contacted my mentor at the university and she gave me the contact to somebody I can talk to at school. (I have a therapist, but the next appointment is next week).
I also decided not to write her a letter, and not to go to this store alone anymore. My roommates can do the grocery shopping, thats completly ok for them.

I thank you all for the support and I think I will get better eventually.

I (24f) have cut contact with my mom about 3 years ago. She was really abusive to me growing up (mostly psychological abuse but not only). She’s the person I’m most scared of and I’m still having nightmares of living at that home. I moved twice since I’ve gone no contact with her, so she doesn’t know where I live.

Yesterday I went to the store to buy some food for me and my roommates. I was standing by the vegetable alley. Then out of nothing I’ve heard her voice. She was standing next to me and talking to me. I’ve said nothing, I’ve turned away and walked in different direction. She followed me around the store and asked questions like why am I behaving this way and if I can’t even say hello to her. I ran to the register, even though I wasn’t done with my shopping. My hand were trembling, I had to dry several times before I succeeded getting my debit card in. I paid and ran away hoping she wouldn’t see where I live.

I got home and I started crying like crazy. It’s the next day and I still cannot stop crying. I don’t feel safe, I’m really scared. I’m also really mad at myself that I didn’t say anything to her. That I didn’t remind her that I want nothing to do with her. But I couldn’t talk that moment. I was really scared.
I’m also disappointed in myself that I still react that way to her. Last time I saw her, I was feeling like I had a strong iron deficiency for the next 3 months. I hope this time will be different. I’m feeling dizzy, sick and can’t stop crying.

My boyfriend said I should write her a letter said she should leave me alone and that I really mean it. I’m thinking about it but I don’t know if it changes anything. Every time I tried to tell her how what she did made me feel, she denied everything. I really don’t think she is able to respect my decision. What should I do?

I’ve gained 14kg in the last 2 years and almost all of my fat got into my thighs. The result is that I can’t wear dresses. Booty shorts won’t work either because my thighs are touching each other on the whole length. Biker shorts slide up.
I know the best way would be to lose weight and I’m working on it, but that takes time. It’s summer and I want to be able to wear something short without the pain while I’m working on getting my body back. Any tips and tricks?

I (23f) and my partner (27m) recently decided that we were ready for a dog. I grew up with a German shepherd and I love this dogs. I always wanted a dog of my own. My boyfriend was sceptical, but ultimately decided that a dog who could go on a hikes and trips with us would be a good match.
I recently started walking shelter dogs and met an 8 year old Greek shepherd/mountain dog mix dog. She had her hips operated, so she can’t go hiking and her walks should not take more than one hour at once. She also needs a lot of time to rest afterwards.
The problem is I absolutely fell in love with her and my heart is breaking every time I bring her back after a walk. I don’t know how much longer she will live and the adoption fee is 1500francs which is 1/2 of my monthly pay at the moment (because I’m studying, but I’m done in about a year). This is not a lot of money for a dog, but it is a lot of money for a dog, that might not live for long.
We are not hiking yet and we are a child free household where she would have a lot of peace and quiet.
The shelter she lives in takes really good care of her and I don’t know if it’s wise to take her out of her routine. Should I wait on this longer and get to know other shelter dogs, or should I talk to my partner about it?