u/Mission_Feed7038

I can feel it, I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. when I ask her why she's talking to me like that she says that she isn't.

I do help with the baby but I leave for work at 4:30am so I have been sleeping in a separate room after 9pm. which leaves her to deal with the multiple night wake ups alone - which I feel terrible about but I can't stay up much longer without being a danger on the roads (1 hour commute). I also work a somewhat dangerous job where I can't be showing up exhausted.

on weekends and after work I help as much as I can, but I feel like this has been pissing her off even more. I try to put a lot of effort in while I'm home because I really wanted to be a good dad, and have a fear that I will suck at it.

Ive gotten really good at settling and nappy changes etc all the easy stuff. but at the end of the day I can't feed her (breastfed) and that's 90% of the reason the baby is upset.

last night she told me she doesn't trust me to settle the baby she didn't want me to touch her when she started fussing, and refused to go to sleep as she was wanting to supervise me putting her to bed at 3am. So I told her that defeats the point of me helping her and I'm basically up for no reason? which was not taken well.

we had a fight last night where I told her how I was feeling and that I felt that she has no room to love me anymore - which honestly I understand she is busy and her hands are litterally and metaphorically full. but it's heartbreaking for me. I ended up sleeping in the spare room and not helping at all which probably has made things 10x worse.

We never fought like this and we're extremely close only 8 weeks ago.

What do I do / what am I doing wrong here. my gut tells me to give her space but my brain says opposite

All I wanted is to be a good dad

Newborn overtired baby must do a really big cry before sleep

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just wanted to check if this is normal / other people with the same thing

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6 weeks old and whenever she is overtired she is the regular overtired grinchy / sooky baby.

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right before she finally gives in and sleep she always does a BIG cry, not fussing but definetly crying out, red face, crying.

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after she does a cry for about 30 seconds to 1 minute she will be out cold. fast asleep and happy.

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this happens wether I am holding her, or she is in a cot/bassinet, doesn't seem to make a difference.

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what's the thoughts on this? is it ok?

our 5 week old is loves a bath (absolutely hates leaving the bath but that's another issue).

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we are hoping to add it to her daily routine as it helps with lower gas and bowl movements - and therefore sleep.

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the problem is the routine is taking way too long.

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closest guess is:

breastfeed (1 boob) - 15 minutes

5 minutes upright to settle tummy + quick burp - 10 to 15 minutes

get undressed, transfer to bath - 5 minutes

bath - 10 minutes

exit bath and settle (que SCREAMING from temperature change) - 10 to 15?

dress and nappy - 5 mins

breastfeed other boob - 15 mins

settle tummy + burp 15 mins

strong chance she will pass a poop right after this - 5 minutes

hopefully she is asleep but more than likely she is now overtired so...

settle to sleep - ??? minutes

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total is 1hour 45mins

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she normally gets overtired after 60 minutes and becomes a wild beast after that.

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any tips for us 😅

hi there we are a couple of a 4 week old looking for advice around shifts

the problem we are having is when Dad takes he's shift and feeds pumped breast milk, mums breast become so tender and sore that she needs to wake up anyway to pump. therefore mum never gets a break and may as well have just breastfed during that time.

is this normal? how do other people deal with this? really want to give mum the chance to have a good 4 hour sleep.

plz halp

Dad here.

our little one 3.5 weeks struggles to pass gas and poops,

she often cry's hysterically at night trying to poop or fart.

I have been doing the tummy massage and exercises which normally help but tonight was different.

she was VERY upset with what I assume was gas, I layed her on the change mat like I normally do, and did around the world tummy massages which offered her no relief but actually seemed to make her cry harder? I went again a few more times and her screaming intensified significantly - she was now very VERY upset - I kind of panicked and moved on to leg exercises in an attempt to get a fart or poop out.

when I did the legs to chest she was really screaming like never before, almost like she was going to pass out from screaming. purple in the face and loosing her voice from crying so hard, like not stopping for air.

I did not apply more pressure than usual.

finally she did a huge fart for like 5 seconds. but it didn't relieve her screaming.

I immediately picked her up and comforted her and she did slowly come back down. but you could tell she was really stressed, she was looking at my eyes and slowly and softly crying. and I couldn't help the feeling that I just hurt her.

idk if I am applying too much pressure? when I have done this other times she never cry's like that.

what else can I do to relieve lower gas pains??? we have this problem every night... 😥 (but not normally this bad I haven't seen her cry like that before)

Baby always HATES being woken up - 3 hour schedual

hi all

we still have to wake up our 3 week old 3 hourly (doctors orders, very small early term newborn)

when we wake her for a feed at night, she goes from 0-100 in about 3.5 milliseconds. no queuing, no gentle cries. Immediate distress cry and freak out mode. - I assume she is extremely hungry (????) or overtired?? and that's why she is crying so hard.

it's impossible to latch her in this state, we have to spend about 15-20 minutes calming her - undressing, skin to skin or bouncing, whatever.

then is triple feed, both breasts. bottle top up, degassing, redressing her, settling and (hopefully) back to bed. many times after we do this she is WIDE AWAKE, I assume this is because we went beyond the wake window

the problem is this process is taking over an hour, sometimes 1.5 hours resulting in a lack of sleep for the babe. the absolute fastest we can do it under perfect conditions in daytime was 47 minutes.

it feels physically impossible to meet this schedule. (keep in mind it's 3 hours start to start for feeds)

if we can work out why she is immediately going into inconsolable hysterics and reduce this, we can hopefully get her back in the cot.

please any help appreciated.

hi all

we still have to wake up our 3 week old 3 hourly (doctors orders, very small early term newborn)

when we wake her for a feed at night, she goes from 0-100 in about 3.5 milliseconds. no queuing, no gentle cries. Immediate distress cry and freak out mode. - I assume she is extremely hungry (????) or overtired?? and that's why she is crying so hard.

it's impossible to latch her in this state, we have to spend about 15-20 minutes calming her - undressing, skin to skin or bouncing, whatever.

then is triple feed, both breasts. bottle top up, degassing, redressing her, settling and (hopefully) back to bed. many times after we do this she is WIDE AWAKE, I assume this is because we went beyond the wake window

the problem is this process is taking over an hour, sometimes 1.5 hours resulting in a lack of sleep for the babe. the absolute fastest we can do it under perfect conditions in daytime was 47 minutes.

it feels physically impossible to meet this schedule. (keep in mind it's 3 hours start to start for feeds)

if we can work out why she is immediately going into inconsolable hysterics and reduce this, we can hopefully get her back in the cot.

please any help appreciated.

I think I've worked out the cycle but no idea how to break it

she needs nappy change - sends her into hysterics as she is very sensitive to wetness and hates nappy changes - adrenaline and cortisol spiked

after nappy change she's WIDE awake, eyes open, fussy as fuck.

breastfeed to settle as she's looking for a feed

finally after Sucking for 20 to 40 mins she's out cold.

20 minutes later she pees and goes into hysterics....

I can tell she's exhausted.

what do I do

otherwise healthy breastfed infant needs continuous burping even hours after a meal

she will burp constantly a long time after feeding

continuously arching her back

and very uncomfortable in general

no spit up

we hold upright for 20 mins after eating

any advice appreciated

our 4 day old is crying in extreme pain and very distressed when she urinates and poos.

she will pee 3 times after a feed and it's always so painful for her, gets worked into hysterics which is making it hard to sleep for her and us.

she needs her nappy changed immediately after peeing because of how painfull it is for her.

she's also extremely gassy and hard to burp /.uncomfortable

latch seems to be good.

4.5 days old and breasts are starting to let milk instead of just colostrum

we hold upright on chest for 15 minutes after feeding

please help.