u/Mmm_Spicy_Meatball

May I ask for the perspective of those of you here who might identify with the below, please?

Your relationships are strained or ending.
Your job is at risk or already lost.
You’ve had one or multiple related health scares.
You make decisions you know are wrong - driving while intoxicated, working while intoxicated, etc.
But in your heart you do want to get better.

When you have been struggling for years, and your loved ones have been right next to you through all of the turmoil involved with addiction - but now they are beginning to withdraw and set boundaries but plead with you to get help and go to treatment.
BUT you maintain you don’t need treatment. You’re sorry your loved ones think you have to do treatment to be getting better… ‘you’ll see what I can do on my own’..though that hasn’t worked in 10-20 tries at sobriety.

What is actually happening from your perspective?
Are your loved ones abandoning you? Are they betraying you? Are they giving up on you? Or rather do you feel like letting them go is a kindness? That they’re better off without you regardless of their protests? Do you truly believe you can do it all on your own this time? Are you biding your time to figure something else out? Is treatment scary? Or is it embarrassing? Something else?

I expect it’s different for everyone. I just want to gather perspectives from the other side so I can widen my understanding.

Sitting at a complete stop for maybe 10-20 seconds, 3-4 cars back from a red light. I’m assuming the car hit me upon approach to the light and not that they just suddenly gassed it from a stop for no reason as the light hadn’t changed until after the hit. No one was badly injured, my passenger and I have pretty stiff necks (it was a pretty good smack) and my right ankle is a little sore for some reason but otherwise so far no other symptoms.

My rear bumper and rear diffuser are completely smoked, and the front of my trunk lid has some new scrapes and bruises. Unsure of any internal damage - may have a weird ‘clunk’ when shifting out of park that is unsettling.

I haven’t been in an accident in years and don’t know what to expect really - cop came to me after talking to both of us and gave me a slip with a QR code to find the accident report, ready in 3-5 days. Said ‘so obviously this is his (other drivers) fault, and he’s got a citation.’ I called my insurance after all was said and done and she said they will investigate independently from the officers’ investigation - I understand corroborating facts, but was a little thrown off when she said they don’t use the police officers report at all.

I go out of state on Thursday and would prefer not to drive my car that far without it being looked at/fixed, or having a rental instead - again just because it was such a good smack and I’m unsure of internal damage (parking parts/transmission parts). SF offered that I could run the repair and rental through my policy first and IF the other driver is found 100% at fault, they will refund my deductible and update the claim to no-fault on my end.

So……any thoughts …? Just want to plan/prepare myself for this process 0_o

I lost my ABH brow gel, Kiehls moisturizer, and DDG pads to ‘out of stock’ while trying to check out with the Kohls discount😭😭😭

We had a sweet little ole handicapped cat together(I mean I had him first but he was our baby for 12+ years). Our baby’s little body gave up today and he needed to be put to sleep. Called Q and he wasn’t well, but wouldn’t admit it. I wanted him to say goodbye so I gave him the address…he wasn’t with it enough to get an Uber to the vet in time.
I needed him and the furbaby needed him. If he has a glimpse of sobriety/lets himself feel it…he’s going to be so devastated, though not as much as me. So now I get to miss my baby, hate that his dad wasn’t there, and I know I shouldn’t… but also just hate for Q - as a human being who loved a furbaby to pieces - that he didn’t get a goodbye, and only has himself to blame for it.

I’m the first person to promote the good words of AlAnon, how incredibly helpful this all is, I know that none of what’s happening with him is my responsibility, that I am powerless over this and that I deserve better.

But I am heartbroken. We were grossly in love…we were over 10 years in and still icky sugary sweet in love. He was my surest thing. We grew together in love and in life and our careers…we found a great place in the city and had everything we could need. But he has a dark cloud he couldn’t outrun anymore.

I haven’t worn my ring in a few years now (never made it down the aisle- I know it’s a blessing, but it’s also a special kind of hell).

I’m always worried he’s incapacitated, dying or dead somewhere, all alone. My person. My favorite thing. I know I wasn’t meant to live this way, but I just can’t bring myself to accept it. I don’t want this but I don’t want to ever look at anyone else how I looked at him.

Just screaming into the void for now.