u/Morit12

I’ll just start with saying I’m not a regular coffee drinker. I do sometimes as part of social gatherings and such.

As I grew up, I realised that my experience with coffee is a lot different than most people. A lot of my friends, need their daily coffee but I just don’t care for it.
Recently, my friend and I tried this really high caffeine drink and an hour later, my friend, who is a regular drinker, started feeling jittery and shaky. I on the other hand felt nothing? Also, I remember that often when I would feel sleepy, I would drink coffee to overcome that and it never helped but somehow assumed that coffee’s effect is not that strong.
Yesterday, I tried drinking an energy drink with 150mg of caffeine before sleep, I slept like a baby.

I 2 months started dating a 53M who is to me really attractive, and the physical intimacy between us is genuinely the best I have ever experienced. we often spend hours (easily 5+) having sex, and outside of the issues I'll be talking about, he is a very charming person and we have a good chemistry talking and so on.

However, the dynamic is an absolute fucking mess. He has a severe ADHD, and was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. Considering everything he is going through, he sometimes has some depressive episodes, during which he comes to me for support, becomes really affectionate and vulnerable, also talks a lot about spending time together. traveling, going to the beach, grabbing drinks, and doing normal public things.

The problem? We ONLY ever meet in private at our homes. We have never even had a single drink together in public. I think he's scared of us being seen together, and when I mention my own independent plans (like going to the beach today), he starts giving excuses about how the heat or sun is not good for him with his chemo even though he literally just spent that exact same day at the beach with his children. I didn't even invitee him... his instinct is simply to block any possibility of public visibility but he never of course says that directly.

He offers the absolute bare minimum in terms of being in a relationship. Yet, when he feels lonely, HE brings up these fantasies to basically get comfort, attention and affection from me, but then back to normal the moment any effort is required. I find it really sad, because I can so clearly see tbat deep down he actually wants these things he talks about. He is just incapable of it.

I know that I need to walk away. But Im really having a hard time with how to actually let go of someone who is so magnetic and someone who I have such a fucking intense physical connection with.

How do you force yourself to let go of a deeply charming person and unmatched sexual chemistry when you know the dynamic is fundamentally impossible?

So today I renewed my residency and I need to go get my biometrics taken within 6 weeks but no dates are available?? So WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK am I to do. not only in Næstved -which is already far enough- even other cities are like this. I find this beyond ridiculous because now I have to spend so much time trying to find a date, and during the 8 months my application is processing I can't leave the country without a reentry permit but the only way to get that is by getting an appointment, so fuck all my holiday plans.

Sometimes I really fucking HATE this country.

Sorry I am frustrated and needed to vent. I mean it's already ridiculous having to wait 8 months plus the enormous fees so then having to deal with this BS too is just too much.

There was no Acosta in it.