u/MountainGrapes_

I (F) decided to cosplay to a convention as a video game character. My friend asked if she could come along and she asked if she could come and match me as said character’s love interest. I was a little taken aback by it but, yknow, it’s kind of a Mario and Peach situation where they’re technically love interests but not really. We went and had a great time. Now she’s thinking of other cosplays we could do and she’s suggesting all couples! Including an actual couple from a popular lesbian manga. I brushed it off with the first cosplay but…?

We are both bisexual, but I never got the inclination that she saw me as anything other than friendly before this. She offhandedly mentioned that she had seen two other people cosplaying our same characters get engaged the day before. When I jokingly asked where my ring was, she just laughed and said “hahaha you’ll have to keep on waiting for that.” So I don’t think she’s interested in being anything but friends, but she keeps wanting to dress up as couples????

TL;DR: friend wants to do couples cosplay but we’re not a couple? Does she want to be or is it just dress up?

EDIT: yall, I know you’re not mind readers. Yes, I intend to talk to her but I wanted to know if I was completely off base before I make a fool of myself. I overthink a lot of things and I’m definitely not the type of person that people express interest in often.

I (F25) am inexplicably falling in love with my best friend (also F25) and I know that I shouldn’t. Yes, we’re besties, but I know we wouldn’t work for a tooooon of reasons. First of all, I know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent not her type of girl. Second of all, she’s my best friend and at the moment, only friend. I fear that I’m only starting to see her in such a way because she’s the only person my age that I’m close to at the moment. I’m trying to meet new people and all that, but my feelings for her aren’t really going away no matter what I do.

Yes, I have just tried “taking care of the problem myself” and moving on with it, but it’s really not getting any better. I can’t stop fantasizing about a future with her, like actually wtf.

I also don’t want to isolate myself from her because, like I said, she’s my only friend at the moment and it’d suck to throw away such a great and long friendship because of some stupid feelings.

I feel extra silly because all of the logical parts of me know that we’d never make a good couple, but my heart still does whatever the hell it wants.

What should I do?

TLDR - I want my friend but I know it’d never work. I need to get over it but don’t know how.

I (F25) am inexplicably falling in love with my best friend (also F25) and I know that I shouldn’t. Yes, we’re besties, but I know we wouldn’t work for a tooooon of reasons. First of all, I know that I am absolutely, one hundred percent not her type of girl. Second of all, she’s my best friend and at the moment, only friend. I fear that I’m only starting to see her in such a way because she’s the only person my age that I’m close to at the moment. I’m trying to meet new people and all that, but my feelings for her aren’t really going away no matter what I do.

Yes, I have just tried “taking care of the problem myself” and moving on with it, but it’s really not getting any better. I can’t stop fantasizing about a future with her, like actually wtf.

I also don’t want to isolate myself from her because, like I said, she’s my only friend at the moment and it’d suck to throw away such a great and long friendship because of some stupid feelings.

I feel extra silly because all of the logical parts of me know that we’d never make a good couple, but my heart still does whatever the hell it wants.

What should I do?

I (F23) don’t know when this all started, but I have just realized that I have a huge crush on my best friend (also F23). We have known each other for quite a long time. While I knew she was my ride or die bestie and I wanted her in my life forever, I just wasn’t expecting to want her like \\\*that,\\\* yknow?

But the more I think about things, the more it makes sense. I first realized that my feelings may be more than just platonic when we went to go see a scary movie together about a year ago. There was a super tense moment on screen and she grabbed onto me for support. We’ve hugged plenty of times, so physical touch between us isn’t new, but it gave me butterflies.

I thought that was just a one and done moment, since I’m not really a touchy feely kind of person. Maybe those butterflies were just anxiety from not knowing how to handle a touch that wasn’t just a hug? But no, over the past year or so I’ve found myself wanting more and more physical touch from her. I knew something was up when I felt oddly hollow when she offered that I sleep on her couch instead of in her bed with her when I stay over. I found myself entertaining the idea of just having one bed in our hotel room when we plan trips together.

But yknow, I still thought I could just be touch starved. None of this means that you’re actually crushing on someone, right? I dealt with these thoughts for months. Other stuff came up too… at times I wondered what it would be like to kiss her and stuff like that. But last week, it all came to a head.

I’ll keep this as straightforward as possible without giving too many details so as to heed this sub’s rules. It’s warming up as summer approaches, and she showed up to a hang out wearing cool, comfortable clothing. It wasn’t even particularly revealing. But it drove my brain crazy!!! I started having thoughts that weren’t exactly PG and I could not stop myself. Everything that she did that day was hot to me. Who the finds someone \\\*driving\\\* attractive? When did I start finding my friend hot anyway?

I know I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the ways in which I find her physically attractive, but it doesn’t stop there. I have always had lots of respect for who she is as a person. She is the kindest, most generous person I know. I’ve never had anyone else in my life to just buy me little trinkets and stuff “just because she was thinking of me” almost every single time I see her. And she treats everyone she knows that way! It’s really cool!

We have the exact same sense of humor and we always make each other laugh till we cry. It is so, so easy to talk to her because we both see the world in exactly the same kind-of-fucked-up way that leads to both fits of laughter and genuine intellectual conversation. Everything is just more fun when she’s around.

But here’s where the bad part comes in: I know (almost for sure) that I’m not her type. While yes, she does like girls, the girls that I’ve seen her date are nothing like me. I’ve only ever known her to date girls that are of similar culture to her. While our difference in culture has never been an issue for us as friends, I could understand if she preferred a partner to be someone with a more similar background.

I also don’t want to blow up a very strong friendship over a crush. I know this has happened to her multiple times before (she’s just so awesome, how could anyone not fall in love with her lol) but it always leads to her cutting ties with that person. I’m usually the one to bail her out if things go wrong. It feels weird to be on the other side of things. I’ve always wanted her to be in my life for a long time, even before I formed the crush. I value our friendship too much to destroy it with something as silly as this.

I know that you don’t always have to act on a crush, so I’m not going to. I just had to get it off of my chest so hopefully, finally, I can move on and just continue to be friends.

I (F23) don’t know when this all started, but I have just realized that I have a huge crush on my best friend (also F23). We have known each other for quite a long time. While I knew she was my ride or die bestie and I wanted her in my life forever, I just wasn’t expecting to want her like \*that,\* yknow?

But the more I think about things, the more it makes sense. I first realized that my feelings may be more than just platonic when we went to go see a scary movie together about a year ago. There was a super tense moment on screen and she grabbed onto me for support. We’ve hugged plenty of times, so physical touch between us isn’t new, but it gave me butterflies.

I thought that was just a one and done moment, since I’m not really a touchy feely kind of person. Maybe those butterflies were just anxiety from not knowing how to handle a touch that wasn’t just a hug? But no, over the past year or so I’ve found myself wanting more and more physical touch from her. I knew something was up when I felt oddly hollow when she offered that I sleep on her couch instead of in her bed with her when I stay over. I found myself entertaining the idea of just having one bed in our hotel room when we plan trips together.

But yknow, I still thought I could just be touch starved. None of this means that you’re actually crushing on someone, right? I dealt with these thoughts for months. Other stuff came up too… at times I wondered what it would be like to kiss her and stuff like that. But last week, it all came to a head.

I’ll keep this as straightforward as possible without giving too many details so as to heed this sub’s rules. It’s warming up as summer approaches, and she showed up to a hang out wearing cool, comfortable clothing. It wasn’t even particularly revealing. But it drove my brain crazy!!! I started having thoughts that weren’t exactly PG and I could not stop myself. Everything that she did that day was hot to me. Who the finds someone \*driving\* attractive? When did I start finding my friend hot anyway?

I know I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the ways in which I find her physically attractive, but it doesn’t stop there. I have always had lots of respect for who she is as a person. She is the kindest, most generous person I know. I’ve never had anyone else in my life to just buy me little trinkets and stuff “just because she was thinking of me” almost every single time I see her. And she treats everyone she knows that way! It’s really cool!

We have the exact same sense of humor and we always make each other laugh till we cry. It is so, so easy to talk to her because we both see the world in exactly the same kind-of-fucked-up way that leads to both fits of laughter and genuine intellectual conversation. Everything is just more fun when she’s around.

But here’s where the bad part comes in: I know (almost for sure) that I’m not her type. While yes, she does like girls, the girls that I’ve seen her date are nothing like me. I’ve only ever known her to date girls that are of similar culture to her. While our difference in culture has never been an issue for us as friends, I could understand if she preferred a partner to be someone with a more similar background.

I also don’t want to blow up a very strong friendship over a crush. I know this has happened to her multiple times before (she’s just so awesome, how could anyone not fall in love with her lol) but it always leads to her cutting ties with that person. I’m usually the one to bail her out if things go wrong. It feels weird to be on the other side of things. I’ve always wanted her to be in my life for a long time, even before I formed the crush. I value our friendship too much to destroy it with something as silly as this.

I know that you don’t always have to act on a crush, so I’m not going to. I just had to get it off of my chest so hopefully, finally, I can move on and just continue to be friends.

Please forgive me and correct me if I use any terms that are incorrect. I love LGBT people but I’m a bit ignorant to all that’s going on in the community.

I met this person, who I’ll call X, a while ago. X is nonbinary, but was born female. They identify as transmasculine, but have had no surgeries and are not taking any hormones.

I’ve found myself quite taken with X. We have the exact same sense of humor, they are incredibly generous and sweet, and they’re also pretty cute. I haven’t ever experienced that kind of attraction from someone who was born female. I do find myself wanting romantic interactions (cuddling, kissing ,etc) and maybe a little bit more (without being too crass). I could maybe understand a bit more if it were their masculine traits that i was attracted to, but I find both their masculine and feminine traits really appealing.

I guess the problem is that I don’t quite understand nonbinary identities. I know that they exist outside of the gender binary, but also being transmasculine kind of suggests a lean towards being a man, no? But they also describe themselves as being “gay” when they find both a women and men attractive.

I’m confused. I just like them a lot and the labels really don’t matter at the end of the day. I would just like a little clarity in regards to how to understand them better.