u/MyBloodIsTurquoise

We're dating for some months now. I really like him, he's kind and very loving with me.

But, since I got unemployed 1 month ago he invited me to stay in his house to save money (I have a nervous breakdown at my work and I managed to get a termination that leaves me some time to recover). He didn't change me for the times I would sleep there (food, rent, whatever).

Since I usually woke up at the same time as him to go to work when I slept there, we would just leave the house together but now I don't have to work and can sleep a little more, so for this he would leave the 2 keys I need to leave the apartment (one for the lock and other for the gate's padlock).

But 3 weeks ago I woke up 1 hour after he left and there was no gate key. I tried to call him since I had appointments for the day and luckily he came back to unlock it for me hours later (even so, I got where I needed to be late). He promised me that he would leave the keys at my reach.

Again, he "forgot" to leave them and it made me suspicious: we had a small argument the day before bc of the place I was heading. He wanted me to wait for his shift to end so he could accompany me but I couldn't really bring him with me (family matters) and he was really acid about it "why don't you want me there? Embarrassed or me??" (It wasn't the case 😭).

This time, he wouldn't pick up when I called so I manage to call his mother and she had a spare key.

Now 3 days ago was the last straw: I made an appointment with friends to the morning (around 12:00AM) and woke up at 08:00 and the front door was locked. I searched for the keys everywhere and when I couldn't find them I called him and he picked up saying that he did "forgot" to leave the keys BUT there was NO PROBLEM bc he would be at home by 03:30PM for lunch and I could wait. I said I had somewhere to go but according to him "it wasn't important, you can stay at home at least one time this week, can't you?" Before excusing himself and turning off.

His mother's wasn't nearby anymore so I had no one to ask to set me free. When he came back (at 06:00PM) and I tried to ask him why he didn't leave the keys with me for the third time that month he dismissed me with a "Since you canceled your date with your friends (I didn't, I just couldn't go with stuck in the house) let's have a date ourselves.". I rejected it and left the house without even taking the clothes I bought with me and went to my mom's.

This situation is driving me crazy bc it seems he's doing it at purpose even if he still texts to say it's just "memory lacks". I don't really like the idea of a man keeping me in his house where I have no way to leave when I need.

The last text from his was like 1 hours ago asking me if I really wanted to ruin our relationship bc of a accident, but I asked him to make me spare keys if he really wanted me to sleep there and he didn't reply since then.

I'm very sorry for any English errors btw, I'm overwhelmed and not even fluent tbh.

Tive Hipotireoidismo na infancia e sou alguem de baixa estatura (no maximo 1,55), ele deve chegar nos 1,85 facil, além de ser mais robusto (levando em consideraçao que malha e com oq trabalha, é esperado).

Nunca me foi problema nos nossos 4 meses ficando mas 1 mes de namoro e para ele acho que foi desculpa para querer "mostrar forças": sempre que estamos começando intimidades ele tenta me agarrar pelos tronco e me elevar; fica me levantando, deitando e virando como se eu n tivesse esqueleto funcional; segurando minhas maos/punhos como brincadeira as vezes no meio de uma conversa casual e NAO quer largar.

Acho que muitas mulheres gostam disso, mas eu particularmente NAO. Já cresci com irmaos homens que viviam medindo forças comigo exatamente por ser menor e nao é com o meu namorado (que claramente é mais forte) que se repita. Além disso, é desconfortavel nao ter controle sobre o proprio corpo assim.

No começo do namoro fui para a casa dele e ele preparou aquelas surpresas (balao, velas, doces etc) e quando fui beijar ele para agradecer ele enfiou as maos por baixo das minhas axilas, me elevou e quis me jogar na cama mesmo eu me debatendo. Tive que gritar e ele me largou. Ficou ofendido por uns minutos mas continuamos os trabalhos.

Em outra vez deixei que jantasse na minha casa pq ele disse que estava exausto e fique com dó e quando fui levar o prato dele na sala ele bateu na coxa e disse para "vir com o papai". Quando sentei AO LADO dele ele me agarrou pela merda da minha nuca para me debruçar sobre ele. Nao sei se na mente de muitos isso é sensual mas pra mim é constrangedor.

Talvez seja o jeito dele ser fisico mas sinto que ocupa muito do meu espaço pessoal e ultrapassa limites meus.

Reclamei dessas coisas com ele uma noite mas pela forma que ele reagiu (ficou cabiscaixo e parecia magoado) me senti um cu sujo.

Faz uns 3 dias que ele foi velar a avo dele em outro estado e eu estou um pouco aliviada de nao acordar espremida na minha propria cama e nem de ter que justificar o pq nao quero "colo" de outro adulto sendo eu uma adulta tbm. Preciso saber como adereçar essa situaçao com ele quando ele voltar.

Sorry for any mistakes, not my first language ❤️

Me (27F) and gf "Kesia" (35F) (not her real name of course) met at my volunter work on a year ago and we started dating around 4 months ago and dear God, it was QUICK.

Maybe bc both were fed from previous failed relationships and bc we're already stablish in life (kind of :/), we get to move together in only 2 months of dating and were living in the same house since then.

She worked as a police officer before we met (~4 years since she left the area, now shes a teacher thank god⭐) but still talks with the same people and is sometimes around at functions (birthdays, Christmas, even some happy-hours or a regular barbecue on sundays of some close friends and ex coworkers).

Me, personally, dont like cops that much(specially while growing up on a poor and unsafe area and seeing the worst of some of them with a very close family member) and i deliberately distanced myself from some of them I met during my life. If you ask me "So why you're with Kesia?" I wont be able to aswear that bc i dont know why only with her i feel like her previous job didnt matter 😭 I think shes the kindest person ever and that's why she left that job (she said how bad some situations made her feel).

2 days ago Kesia was called to a child's birthday party of her friend and they invited me too ("Bring your gf if you want too!") but she DID NOT warned me that it was the "ex job" crew instead of any other social groups she's in. Before that, i always made an excuse and didnt went when she called me.

I dressed myself, bought a cute present (even if Kesia bought one too) and prepared a dessert, to cause a good impression tbh.

While waiting Kesia get ready i noticed she put jeans and boots instead of a dress or anything more "formal" and asked her if she wasnt excited to the party. She said she was, a lot, but needed to dress confortable bc "they won't respect me at target shooting in a ruffled dress, would they?".

I asked "wdym?" just to know 20 minutes before leaving to the damn party, with a an acquaintance of hers driver on the way to pick us up, that we were invited by her ex fellow officer and many others would be there 🤡.

She notices the color of my face leaving for a better place and started to say "how they wanted to know me", that "I never would accept if she said who hosted the party" and "there'll be some civil people and you wont be casted out". But it WASNT about being casted out AT ALL. She knew I can't be confortable in a place like that and its not bc of her that ill be able to forget everything I went trought. I'am everything these type of people hate too.

Ik there's some good ones in this area, but still its very painful for me to deal with just the idea.

Instantly I dropped on the couch and said i wouldnt go anymore and that she could go alone.

It resulted in a argument: in one side she said I was embarassing her for refusing to go after confirming my presence and that i was being too sensitive bc "she did know the people there and trusted them", but in another side she lied to me (or at least hid this """small""" detail) and I could never be in a place like that.

At the end I screamed at her to go alone and left the house just when the car arrived.

She did indeed go to the party and didnt texted me the whole time (so did I).

She came back and called. I answered the call and she asked if i intend to go home and I said i would spend the night at my mom's. She only responded "You're being unreasonable" before turning off.

I'am still at my mother's house (the party was at the morning and now its ~10:00PM) and even her said I was exaggerating for not going home. I really need others opnions on that matter, bc i still feel very much hurted and kind scared to face her (and the way I reacted too tbh). I dont feel complete "unreasonable" but still gulty for the way I left.

Realmente nao sei oq por no título para explicar minha situaçao, mas aqui vai:

Meu pai é concursado mas faz uns 2 anos que passou a fazer sucos naturais para renda extra e ele pretende fazer disso sua fonte de renda principal após o divorcio + aposentadoria (nao falta muito, para resumir).

Acontece que ele NAO segue os padroes básicos de higiene que a produçao dele precisa. Ele faz as coisas com desleixo, apesar de eu nao gostar de falar assim do meu pai e dos esforços dele.

Exemplo 1: desde que começou, achou de bom tom usar garrafas de vidro que ele guardava em casa (ele é acumulador, sendo sincera). Estavam no sotao, sujas, empoeiradas e improprias para usar como recipiente para algo como suco natural. Ele tambem usa garrafas plásticas que "sobram" daqui de casa e recentemente começou a comprar garrafas novas, mas além de nao lavar aquelas garrafas corretamente ele REUTILIZA todas. Por inumas vezes, o vi trazendo para volta de casa garrafas que deveriam ser usadas individualmente e apenas lavando apenas com agua ou usando a esponja de uso domestico. Sem exceçao, todas as garrafas FEDEM e teem residuos que nao foram retidados por completo.

Exemplo 2: utensilos nao sao proprias e nem exclusivas para a manipulaçao dos insumos. Fiz um curso de confeitaria por 1 ano (contra a minha vontade :V) e apesar de ter tido poucas aulas sobre o tema sei da importancia de ter tabuas de corte, liquidificador, recipientes, talhares e afins proprias para a pratica, especialmente porque estamos falando de produto que noa passa por nenhum processo de conservaçao (sem fonte de calor, sem aditivos, apenas agua, acuçar e polpa). Já tentei educa-lo sobre o principal: como a tabua de corte que usamos para tudo em casa: cortar alho e cebola, carnes cruas, etc etc NAO pode ser usada para cortar frutas que ele vai vender futuramente. Ele me ignorou e me chamou de "metodica" de forma pejorativa 🤡.

Exemplo 3: instrumentos mofados e sujos. Ele trata com desleixo a higiene tanto dos insumos quanto ferramentes: o liquidificador que ele usa diariamente tem uma gosma fetida tanto na base quanto no copo, pois ele só limpa com agua. Varias vezes eu e minha mae nos sentimos obrigadas de pegar ele e limpar o melhor que podemos: colocamos agua sanitaria, esfregamos muito e enxaguamos bem. ELe usa e depois deixa voltar ao mesmo nivel de antes.

Exemplo 4: Ele nao tem qualquer forma de refrigerar aqueles sucos. Simplismente poe dentro da mochila e leva até o trabalho. Sequer usa a caixa termina que temos aqui em casa, oque eu acho que seria menor pior.

Tentei convence-lo a fazer um curso, mesmo que rapido, de manipulaçao de alimentos online. Ele concordou, disse que ia abrir o link que o enviei e nunca fez.

Ninguém em casa tem coragem de tomar os sucos que ele produz, isso desde que ele começou. No meu caso, um dia quando ele me ofereceu uma garrafa e eu abri subiu um cheiro muito estranho da tampa e rosca que me deu ate enjoo. Nunca mais acentei :/

Me procupo muito com essa situaçao pois ele realmente pretende seguir e aumentar a produçao, mas fazendo do jeito que faz está claro que isso uma hora vai dar ruim, muito ruim.

Tentei conversar, depois educar e por fim assustar ("Se alguem ficar doente a culpa vai ser sua!") e até agora nada.

Nao sei mais oque fazer, sem oque falar...