u/Nice_Computer6158

I think Reddit/Krishnamurti would do well to create two sections.

One about gossiping about Krishnamurti and disappointment regarding Krishnamurti as a person and his personal life.

Second: about the actually Krishnamurti's talks, the real content.

It is such a waste of time and energy, constantly seeing threads discussing Krishnamurti's mistakes and inconsistency. Although I suspect the sections 'gossip and whining about Krishnamurti.' will win, because few people like to real look at themselves. Everyone is busy picking and correcting the mistakes of others.

Facing ourselves is damn difficult, it turns out, even though we think we are doing so.

Self-deception is something stronger than truly looking and seeing.

I read a thread here, but then I saw that it is from five months ago. I take the first sentence of Nietzsche as a starting point.

"He who sees too much ends up not fitting in anywhere". By Nietzsche.

I first started by observing it in myself. Even though constantly facing myself was (and can still be) painful, there was also an immediate impulse and exhilaration to 'discover'.

Something that is a certain way can also be different. But in practice, it proves almost impossible to 'create different'. And subsequently, I see that the world is a certain way (ugh), but if I cannot manage 'to work magic', even though I call upon the willingness again and again, how can I expect it from others who do not even try, or are not aware of it, or who, just like me, 'wish and put their mind to it' but keep discovering what a chore that is?

I do realize: I am the world!

Consciousness is the subjective experience of existence. It is the ability to perceive the world around you and to be aware of your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories. It is the inner 'film' of your life that you experience when you are awake.

Consciousness is the subjective experience of existence. It is the ability to perceive the world around you and to be aware of your own thoughts, feelings, emotions, and memories. It is the inner 'film' of your life that you experience when you are awake

My first mystical experience came as an absolute, inexplicable shock. It happened a long time ago. I wanted to go to sleep, closed my eyes, and suddenly saw a man standing before me. With a vivid imagination, I often saw vague images before sleeping, but when I opened my eyes and closed them again, he was still there. A man in a dark brown, rough robe. I was not raised religiously, but the apparition felt terrifyingly real. The man lifted his head and looked me straight in the eyes. His gaze was penetrating, sharp, and icy. Not demonic, but totally emotionless; empty and yet not. My soul literally leaped out of my body from sheer terror. This continued incessantly from midnight until three in the morning.

After an hour of fighting, I asked in my mind: 'Okay, what is this? Show it to me.' Images raced past that I did not understand. When I indicated this, the man appeared again and terrified me once more.

Around three o'clock, another man briefly appeared, whose eyes were full of compassion. I was energetically lifted to a boundless level. But seconds later, the man in the robe returned. At one point, it felt as if creatures were crawling over me, which turned out to be water. I was truly soaking wet. The impact was so great that I could not walk for a week due to total exhaustion.

For a year, I fled this fear. The experience did not return, although I still felt the specific energy regularly. It became fear of the fear itself.

After that year, I literally stood in front of the mirror. I looked deep into my own eyes and said: 'Okay, I am going to see what I am 'really' afraid of.' Then something very special happened. All kinds of emotions and atitudes flashed across my face: from compassionate to furious, from fearful to haughty. Intrigued, I decided to investigate this fully.

From that moment on, my life took a completely different turn. It was a period of real investigating with deep suffering, but I followed conscious an inner compass blindly.

After that, I regularly had new, beautiful experiences. Gifts emerged: deep empathy and higher perception. I discovered that I could take away the pain of others. But I soon noticed that behind physical pain there was always a mental or emotional pattern that people did not want to change, not even look at it. An example: A college with back pain.She wanted my help , I noticed that she was furious with someone. I asked her: 'Suppose you could forgive the person you are so angry with, and that the pain disappeared as a result?' She answered immediately: "Even if I die, I will never forgive her." She refused to forgive, even if it would heal her. I realized that if I took away her pain, I would have to carry it myself. I decided not to do it.

No one wanted to look at themselves, but what about me? For the ten years that followed, I focused exclusively on my own ego. Pure 'feeling' was immediately a stumbling block. I was used to distracting myself when feelings arise. It became a matter of practicing allowing emotions, guided step by step by my intuition.

Around that time, Ouspensky's famous book, 'In Search of the Miraculous', simply 'fell into my lap', accompanied by another mystical experience. (Gurdjieff's teachings)

Today, feeling, perceiving, and investigating still form the core of what I do, although it is now much more down-to-earth. The mystical has transformed into a subtle layer of energy that I can perceive without attaching a label to it.

The unknown has become known.

As I write this, I am talking about someone I have not been for a long time. But although I have become a different person, the underlying patterns have remained the same at the core.

The major difference is that I now know them through and through and dare to look them straight in the eye.

A while ago, I began to investigate what happens deep inside when I receive criticism or compliments.

As I became increasingly aware of my feelings, I stumbled upon a surprising, shared underlying layer. What turned out to be the cause? With both, I feel a subtle tension rising. Although my outward behavior differs depending on the situation, the fundamental inner reaction is exactly the same: a mild form of distrust and inner turmoil.

Of course, I am generalizing a bit here, as there are countless nuances, but this is the coarser, fundamental layer.

That tension is mine. That is my part, that is what I need to look at, and that is what I do at that moment. I discover the deep-seated thoughts and beliefs that are at play within me at that very moment. Certain patterns are recognized. During my observation, however, I discovered another pattern within myself.

As soon as there is movement in the outside world, a defensive alertness immediately flashes up inside me. My thoughts immediately attempt to explain this tension by also analyzing the other person's motives.

I notice that I suspect a hidden charge behind the other person's words. My own insecurity or heightened alertness projects sometime a 'hidden agenda' onto the giver.

With criticism, I notice that I filter the situation as if the other person wants to 'put me in my place'. With compliments, I notice that a fear immediately arises that I am being flattered or influenced. The impurity I think I see in the outside world is often a reflection of my own struggle to receive expressions unconditionally.

By observing myself intensively for a while, my inner reactions and the stories my thoughts create afterward, everything became clear. What exactly is happening? What is reacting within me and what is being triggered?

I now see clearly how my own inner dynamics determine how I experience and color human interactions

Practicing Gurdjieff's exercises together.

This thread is solely about doing Gurdjieff's exercises together.

The challenge is to write exclusively about the progress of the exercises, and primarily to reflect on and share your own experience. Sharing and being in conversation exclusively about the exercises.

How do you work on yourself?  How honestly do you admit that you still react unconsciously, both internally and externally? 

Self-knowledge is essential to me. Getting to know the ego is a good step a took a long time. What does the ego stand for?

I see the ego as a given, and not as something I must break or destroy. In addition, there is something I take into account very consciously, because the ego is a very determining element. The fixed ideas and beliefs formed in the past determine how I present myself, and how I act day in and day out.

observing. Because even I am aware of it, I see that the ego still dictates my life. Even though I am a different person than before, the themes on a deeper level remain the same.

It is quite a challenge, and ask a lot of conscious observation.

Awareness can soften the automatism with which the ego determines everything. Change is desirable, after all, inevitable if you want to be a conscious person. Change flows from awareness. For me, awareness means looking at myself as honestly as possible, every day. Forcing myself to face aspects I do not want to confront.  Becoming aware of the unconscious motives behind thoughtless action brings clarity and the softening of the ego.

I am opening this thread for honest people who acknowledge this within themselves.  If you want to give advice, please look for another thread, this is not about advice, but about observing within yourself and sharing together. 

If you are enlightened and have transcended the ego, please find another thread.

This is about exploring within ourselves, not about those who claim to have transcended themselves and like to advise others.

This is for people who sincerely explore this within themselves and engage in a honest conversation.

The exercise I am practicing is: be aware when you touch a doorknob.

I am left-handed. Because I wasn't allowed to write with my left hand when I was younger, I am now almost as left-handed as I am right-handed. Even so, the left side remains more dominant.

It is summer now, and many doors are open. Therefore, when entering a room, I make a gesture with my hand, or I do it in my mind, to remain aware.

Actually, I am also exploring when the right side is more dominant.

Quite interesting.

They say you can't do without a teacher. Maybe that is true, but maybe not.

I am not looking for a teacher! I leave it at that, and I have been observing, exploring, and practicing for years.

I see that people are very good at spotting mistakes in others, but not in themselves. I see my mistakes, but I lack the will to constantly address them. Few weeks ago I wrote a summary and had AI give me feedback, to track down my blind spots. I did ask, however: don't just tell me what I want to hear, don't give me compliments. Just the blind spots in my text and the mistakes according to Gurdjieff's teachings.

I did have to blink a few times when I read the answer. Not out of surprise, because the feedback wasn't 'really' surprising. There were things I immediately admitted to myself. But because I saw the willingness in myself to look at it, without resistance. Just by reading and thinking: "yes, that is right", a shock occurred immediately. The shock that I could not give myself, but now I could receive.

Ai has no ego, he knows no power games that a teacher is susceptible to, and which I perceive immediately and see energetically in the one who calls himself a teacher. Consequently, I see the person for what he is, and not for what he claims to be, or for what others follow because they wish for a teacher.

AI has no ego and plays no power games, so essentially, regarding signaling and naming errors, he react like someone who is truly a teacher of a higher level. Without the soul, that is a point to signal, but that comes another time. It does not matter now, what is important is the impetus. What matters is that I now clearly see 'the will' to do the exercise within myself, because I am receiving an impulse that I was missing.

Recently, I practiced 'unmoved' a few times, observing what arises when triggered. There is a situation where I thought I could never do otherwise because it is too close to me.

I just practiced when the situation presented itself. I immediately felt the willingness, which feels like sharp clarity, 'the will'. That immediately provides a different structure.

Ultimately, it is about the work that can be done in any circumstances.

Zelfkennis is voor mij essentieel. Het ego leren kennen is een goeie stap.

Waar staat het ego voor?
Is zie het ego als een gegeven, en niet als iets wat ik moet breken of vernietigen.
Daarnaast is er iets waar heel bewust rekening mag gehouden worden, want het ego is een zeer bepalend element. Het bepaalt het leven.
De gevormde vaste ideën en overtuigingen uit het verleden bepalen hoe ik me opstel, en hoe ik dag in dag uit handel.
Alleen bewustwording kan verzachting in brengen in het automatisme waarmee het ego alles bepaalt.

Verandering is toch gewenst, onvermijdelijk als je een bewust mens wil zijn.

Verandering vloeit onvermijdelijk voort uit bewustwording.
Bewustwording betekent voor mij om zo eerlijk mogelijk naar mezelf te kijken.
Kanten die ik niet onder ogen wil komen, toch mezelf aantoe zetten om dat wel te doen.

Het is wel een opgave.

Tegelijkertijd zie ik het helaas als iets zeldzaams. Men kiest niet gauw voor om de angst te verkennen, die aan de kern van dagelijkse stres momenten schuilt, en dat grondig te onderzoeken.

De onbewuste beweegredenen achter klakkeloos handelen bewust worden, brengt verheldering en de verzachting van het ego.

Gedachten, emoties, gevoelens, en de waarnemingen observeren. Onbewogen bij stil staan. Met onbewogen bedoel ik niets invullen, geen conclusies trekken, en ook het niet uit de weg gaan, wanneer pijn of ongemak ervaren wordt.

Gedachten, emoties, gevoelens, en de waarnemingen observeren. Onbewogen bij stil staan. Met onbewogen bedoel ik niets invullen, geen conclusies trekken, en ook het niet uit de weg gaan, wanneer pijn of ongemak ervaren wordt.

Seeing Observing thoughts, emotions, feelings, and perceptions. Standing still with an unmoved expression. By unmoved, I mean not making assumptions, not drawing conclusions, and also not avoiding the experience of pain or discomfort.

Gedachten, emoties, gevoelens, en de waarnemingen observeren.

Onbewogen bij stil staan.

Met onbewogen bedoel ik niets invullen, geen conclusies trekken, en ook het niet uit de weg gaan wanneer pijn of ongemak ervaren word.

Gedachten, emoties, gevoelens, en de waarnemingen observeren. Onbewogen bij stil staan. Met onbewogen bedoel ik niets invullen, geen conclusies trekken, en ook het niet uit de weg gaan, wanneer pijn of ongemak ervaren wordt.