u/Nice_Tradition1333

Hi guys, well as the title says, I want to stop thinking about this so much.

I can be "normal" but when I see a post about a happy and healthy couple I get triggered and get a manic episode, I start buying lots of fast food and cry a lot, and I feel exhausted, I don't hate anyone, I can't be in a relationship due to some health complications, it sucks ass, it really does, but I feel like I've cried enough about it, but I still get triggered.

I feel like I've moved on a long while ago, I know better than anyone my position and my circunstances, but I feel like I'm never going to stop grieving the life I'll never have and I'm going insane because of it, leaving common reddit virtue signaling, does anyone here have any good ideas? I'm sure that I'll get the same advice as always but maybe I'll get lucky.

Well yeah I'm about to sleep and I feel ashamed of being such a loser, 25 years old and no woman has been happy enough to see me to give me a hug.

This is not normal, one time I was with a group of friends in highschool, and one girl came to say hi and she hugged everyone and when she saw me she got scared and I gave her a fist bump instead.

I hate being defective, I wish I was healthy strong and handsome so I could get real love instead of pity fist bumps, it's not much but I apologize for being like this, the older I get the uglier I get, at least I'll look funny so people can have a laugh 🥲

Hi guys!

I'm very excited and I didn't know where to share it, but as many of you, I'm trying to make a living out of being a content creator.

I recently got myself a capture card to record gameplay from my switch 2, and I just finished setting up OBS and made a short stream on my youtube channel!

I'm not gonna lie, the stream sucks ass hahaha, the majority of it is just me dealing with technical issues, aka me not knowing what I'm doing.

But I was able to play a little bit of Isaac and talk to myself, and I found it rather terapeutic!

So yeah, I hope this can become the first stream of many to come in the future 😁

Hi guys!

I'm putting the obligatory disclaimer on how I don't hate women or anyone, I only hate myself for being born with so many issues, I'm just crying/venting so there's no need to take this post seriously, thank you.

Well yeah, you know the drill, I'm 5'0, my genitalia don't work, I have autism and BPD amongst other lovely conditions and living is not fun.

I would say that 10% of the time I'm "fine" as I'm able to be not necessarily happy but "normal", the other 80% I'm "bad" as in I'm conscious that I'm a piece of shit, but I have to keep working on my call center job, or I have to focus on my youtube channel.

And the last 10% is when I'm "sick", meaning that I saw something that triggered me to have a manic episode, it can be many things, an abusive customer, a post on social media, you get the drill.

I just saw one of those posts of someone being thankful for being 6'2 or something like that, because they are aware of how much of a difference that makes in life, and how they try to not show it to their shorter friends and such.

Like, women pray that they don't meet a man with my profile, that's how fucked I am hahahahaha.

And crying about this always sucks because people on the comments get weird, saying stuff like "Women are people too" or "You should love yourself", like hhuuuhhh??? 🥀😭

At first I thought they were bots, but eventually I came to realize that they are just handsome/healthy people trying to help and failing miserably.

Across the years I've met people with similar profiles to me, it made me feel well for a couple of seconds, but you know, it would make me feel happier being healthy in the first place hahahaha.

Not everything is bad I guess, I've never been hugged before, but yesterday one of my youtube shorts got 1k views! I know that in terms of shorts that's nothing, but for me it does mean something, I've never been loved so I have to count my Ws how many little they are.

And also, I'm getting a little scared, so I have BPD, and when I have a manic episode I buy food or whatever, and now I'm starting to have issues with my credit cards, at first I was a little worried, because I knew that I was throwing my life away in a sense, due to the manic episodes.

But right now after seeing the post of the tall dude being happy and such, I'm back to not caring again, I just wish more people could have more empathy, people have cried and vomit at seeing me and people come up stuff like "You have to love yourself!", be for real man. That ship sailed a long time ago, or I guess it would be more fitting to say I never had a ship in the first place, it's not much, but I know that deep in my heart I would've given my girlfriend lots of hugs and support, it's not much or anything for that matter, but it's honest work and no one can take that away from me.

Thank you for reading.

Hi guys!

I'm putting the obligatory disclaimer on how I don't hate women or anyone, I only hate myself for being born with so many issues, I'm just crying/venting so there's no need to take this post seriously, thank you.

Well yeah, you know the drill, I'm 5'0, my genitalia don't work, I have autism and BPD amongst other lovely conditions and living is not fun.

I would say that 10% of the time I'm "fine" as I'm able to be not necessarily happy but "normal", the other 80% I'm "bad" as in I'm conscious that I'm a piece of shit, but I have to keep working on my call center job, or I have to focus on my youtube channel.

And the last 10% is when I'm "sick", meaning that I saw something that triggered me to have a manic episode, it can be many things, an abusive customer, a post on social media, you get the drill.

I just saw one of those posts of someone being thankful for being 6'2 or something like that, because they are aware of how much of a difference that makes in life, and how they try to not show it to their shorter friends and such.

Like, women pray that they don't meet a man with my profile, that's how fucked I am hahahahaha.

And crying about this always sucks because people on the comments get weird, saying stuff like "Women are people too" or "You should love yourself", like hhuuuhhh??? 🥀😭

At first I thought they were bots, but eventually I came to realize that they are just handsome/healthy people trying to help and failing miserably.

Across the years I've met people with similar profiles to me, it made me feel well for a couple of seconds, but you know, it would make me feel happier being healthy in the first place hahahaha.

Not everything is bad I guess, I've never been hugged before, but yesterday one of my youtube shorts got 1k views! I know that in terms of shorts that's nothing, but for me it does mean something, I've never been loved so I have to count my Ws how many little they are.

And also, I'm getting a little scared, so I have BPD, and when I have a manic episode I buy food or whatever, and now I'm starting to have issues with my credit cards, at first I was a little worried, because I knew that I was throwing my life away in a sense, due to the manic episodes.

But right now after seeing the post of the tall dude being happy and such, I'm back to not caring again, I just wish more people could have more empathy, people have cried and vomit at seeing me and people come up stuff like "You have to love yourself!", be for real man. That ship sailed a long time ago, or I guess it would be more fitting to say I never had a ship in the first place, it's not much, but I know that deep in my heart I would've given my girlfriend lots of hugs and support, it's not much or anything for that matter, but it's honest work and no one can take that away from me.

Thank you for reading.

As the title says, in summary, my sister has been unemployed for over a year now, I know it's not her fault.

But I work at a call center and it's killing me everyday, and now I'm going to receive less money for me, now that she has no more savings I have no option but to use my money to pay her share of the house and such.

If I wasn't poor this wouldn't affect me so much, I have my own credit cards, I have my own desires, and I have BPD, in order for me to not go crazy I order fast food everyday, now I definitely won't be able to do it anymore.

I don't know what I can do anymore.

I have a youtube channel, due to my mental issues and me being stupid, being a youtuber/streamer is the only realistic/long-term option, I'm not kidding, a few weeks ago actually I tried to study so I can get the A+ Comptia certification, and in less than 5 minutes I started crying, it's just too much for me, I had to drop out of university and that's why I'm working at a call center.

I'm doing my best guys, I know it doesn't seem like it, nobody believes me, but I know that I'm doing my best, but it's never enough, life keeps getting harsher and harsher, and I just feel like crying, but I guess I should be grateful there are days where I'm so defeated I can't even cry.

I just, I don't know man, I hope everything goes well and I can pull this off, actually today I was able to connect my new capture card to my PC, so now I'll be able to stream gameplays!

I can't wait for fire emblem on september, I'll definitely stream it!

So yeah, I guess I wanted to end on a positive note in spite of all of the shit I've been going through. Thank you for reading.

As the title says, in summary, my sister has been unemployed for over a year now, I know it's not her fault.

But I work at a call center and it's killing me everyday, and now I'm going to receive less money for me, now that she has no more savings I have no option but to use my money to pay her share of the house and such.

If I wasn't poor this wouldn't affect me so much, I have my own credit cards, I have my own desires, and I have BPD, in order for me to not go crazy I order fast food everyday, now I definitely won't be able to do it anymore.

I don't know what I can do anymore.

I have a youtube channel, due to my mental issues and me being stupid, being a youtuber/streamer is the only realistic/long-term option, I'm not kidding, a few weeks ago actually I tried to study so I can get the A+ Comptia certification, and in less than 5 minutes I started crying, it's just too much for me, I had to drop out of university and that's why I'm working at a call center.

I'm doing my best guys, I know it doesn't seem like it, nobody believes me, but I know that I'm doing my best, but it's never enough, life keeps getting harsher and harsher, and I just feel like crying, but I guess I should be grateful there are days where I'm so defeated I can't even cry.

I just, I don't know man, I hope everything goes well and I can pull this off, actually today I was able to connect my new capture card to my PC, so now I'll be able to stream gameplays!

I can't wait for fire emblem on september, I'll definitely stream it!

So yeah, I guess I wanted to end on a positive note in spite of all of the shit I've been going through. Thank you for reading.

Hi guys!

I feel more confident on my thumbnail and title game, at least for now, so now I would like to focus on better scripts so people don't leave immediately 😂

I know stuff like having an emotional element in the background or something like that, but for those of you that have success, do you recommend any tips or resources where I could learn on how to improve? Thank you!

Hi guys!

Besides making videos, I was thinking on maybe having a twitter account or tiktok, so I can share videos there and drive traffic.

And I was wondering if someone here is doing similar or if maybe it would be a waste of time and I should just focus on making videos.

Hi guys!

I apologize for the weird post, I'm not sure if this would be the best place to talk about it but I need to get this out of my chest.

Like many in here, youtube is possibly the only chance I have at changing my life, I don't want to get too dark, but like, I live in a third-world country, and the job market is a nightmare.

And yes, people always say that you shouldn't bet all on this, but like, c'mon.

I still have my regular job that sucks my souls everyday, it's customer service at Amazon, it's as fun as it sounds.

So even though I hate it, I try to be grateful for the opportunity, so I can focus on youtube on my free time.

But something that I've seen throughout the years, would be a couple of channels, to be more specific reaction channels, they have a couple of good videos, and when you check their channels they still upload content everyday, but they only get like 200 views or something.

And gosh I'm sorry, but that makes me so very sad, I want this to work, I need this to work, my channel is not about reactions, it would be more about essays about videogames and such.

So I know that it's not quite the same, but like, it's very likely that I won't have success, I don't sayt this to be humble, it's just a statistic, you know?

I guess not all is bad though, this is a bitter lesson, but a lesson nonetheless, I have to keep growing, I can't get complacent, no shortcuts, this isn't about doing what I want, this is about learning what works, what do people want and step up to the occassion.

I apologize for the dark post guys, still, I sincerely hope that we can all make it, please have a good one.

Si, si, yo se que el titulo suena horrible, pero quiero desahogarme un poco.

Diay maes, para decirlo sin rodeos, naci mal, mi cara esta desfigurada, mi cuerpo tambien y mis genitales no funcionan.

Cuando era mas joven no pensaba mucho en relaciones y eso, pero despues de 5 años de estar en terapia fisica y mental, di maes, ya no doy mas jajaja.

Es duro, uno ve todo tipos de parejas, haciendo cosas normales como darse la mano, no solo es el hecho de que no pueda tener sexo, es que ni siquiera le puedo dar la mano a alguien.

Y al buscar apoyo nunca faltan los rarazos que lo llaman a uno incel y cosas asi, mae se le quitan a uno las ganas de hacer nada.

Ahorita ahi me salio un post de una pareja toda guapa y feliz, y mae, me da pena que ya no me enoji ni me siento triste, solo me siento derrotado, saben?

Todo lo que hago es una distraccion, los videos de mi canal de youtube? Es trama, mis videojuegos? Es trama, comida rapida? Trama

Nada me hace feliz, se mejor que nadie que nunca estare satisfecho, lloro hasta quedarme dormido todas las noches, siempre rezo para que al despertar yo despierte sano y sea guapo, y todas las mananas me despierto decepcionado.

Y claro, ya me imagino a los artistas que van a comentar en este post, solo otro monstruo que pase por lo mismo que yo sabe como me siento, la gente sana y privilegiada siempre es la primera en ignorar el post y recomendar terapia y varas asi, a pesar de que es literalmente lo primero que dije.

Lo unico que le pido a la gente sana es que aprecien su vida, maes achile no saben lo afortunados que son, ustedes tienen una vida buena y larga por delante, no todos nacemos con la misma suerte, buenas tardes.

Pues eso, trabajo en un call center porque tambien soy un inutil y no doy para mas.

Hoy me llego un coaching, no me preocupa mucho porque siempre los recibo pero por cosas tontas, ya uno sabe como son los de QA.

Ah

No, que este coaching no es de un QA, es de un mae de la India, que dice que yo le menti al customer y un monton de varas que no se que mas.

En resumen, el idiota no vio lo que hice y me hizo un coaching ahi super gratuito por inutil, por dicha mi supervisor no es tan malo y el mae vio que el coaching es invalido, pero fuck mae, no solo los clientes abusan de mi, ahora tambien los companeros.

Estoy muy cansado maes 😢

PD: Me cago en los inutiles de los moderadores de r/ticos, de seguro fue el idiota de bisteoc que me borro el post, es que ni eso dejan hacer ahora.

https://preview.redd.it/cww9w9hgco7h1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=eba0762d74812354e30dac709b45b6a978ba7bf6

Title is: What Makes Me Love Pokemon Diamond So Much

It's just a video of me talking about pokemon diamond and why I like it so much, I know that the script and editing have lots of room for improvement.

But my main concern is the CTR, it's basically, I got around 1000 impressions only 1 view which is mine, can you give me feedback on what I did wrong with the thumbnail that could make it so ignorable?

Hi guys!

I know the question is a little weird but I'm a little desperate, let me explain.

I'm a 5'0 "man", I have a micro-penis, I'm autistic, I have deformities on my face and body, I have BPD, I have OCD, amongst many other wonderful traits (sarcarm).

Look, I'm a monster. And I know that I'm not the only monster that exists. Something that I hate with all my soul is that everytime I cry or vent about how much abuse I have to go through everyday, stupid, privileged, handsome and healthy people say stuff like:

"Oh don't worry, it's all in your head!" or "have more confidence!"

Completely ignoring everything about my life and my horrible conditions.

I've tried to join male communities before, but people that are sick like me usually end up becoming incels and they go to very weird and dark places and I don't want that.

I just want someone to understand me, I want someone to be honest with myself and admit that I'm a monster and that my life sucks, I'll never be a desirable man, women have had literal nightmares with me, women pray that they never meet someone with my conditions, and I can't blame, my body is so sick it's not even funny, it's really really tiring and disgusting.

I'm not angry at anyone (besides myself for being born wrong), I just want a break, I just want someone to understand what I'm going through for real, without becoming a weird/angry incel, but everytime I search for a community weird guys have to ruin it for everyone else.

This sucks, I hate being a monster, I wish I could've been born beautiful, I'll never forgive myself.

Hi guys!

I know the question is a little weird but I'm a little desperate, let me explain.

I'm a 5'0 "man", I have a micro-penis, I'm autistic, I have deformities on my face and body, I have BPD, I have OCD, amongst many other wonderful traits (sarcarm).

Look, I'm a monster. And I know that I'm not the only monster that exists. Something that I hate with all my soul is that everytime I cry or vent about how much abuse I have to go through everyday, stupid, privileged, handsome and healthy people say stuff like:

"Oh don't worry, it's all in your head!" or "have more confidence!"

Completely ignoring everything about my life and my horrible conditions.

I've tried to join male communities before, but people that are sick like me usually end up becoming incels and they go to very weird and dark places and I don't want that.

I just want someone to understand me, I want someone to be honest with myself and admit that I'm a monster and that my life sucks, I'll never be a desirable man, women have had literal nightmares with me, women pray that they never meet someone with my conditions, and I can't blame, my body is so sick it's not even funny, it's really really tiring and disgusting.

I'm not angry at anyone (besides myself for being born wrong), I just want a break, I just want someone to understand what I'm going through for real, without becoming a weird/angry incel, but everytime I search for a community weird guys have to ruin it for everyone else.

This sucks, I hate being a monster, I wish I could've been born beautiful, I'll never forgive myself.

Hi guys!

I'm sure nobody is going to read this but I still wanted to let my thoughts out.

There's a wonderful anime called "Ashita no Joe" or "Tomorrow's Joe", at the beginning of the show the title gets explained, Danpei, Joe's trainer says that he needs him, he is his tomorrow, Danpei is able to let go of his alcoholism and find a hard job at a construction site, all in order to train Joe to be a great boxer and achieve his dream, that's why he is his tomorrow.

The reason as to why I talk about this, is because ever since I saw that whole scene it made an impact on me.

And it made me realize lots of things, I don't have a tomorrow, I'm never going to be loved, I'm never going to get married, I'll never be a father, videogames and fast food are just distractions for when I feel a lot of pain, either for my genetic defects or due to loneliness, a lot of the time it's for both hahaha.

For years I've talked about how horrible my life is, and I always get horrible and frankly abusive comments from people, and when I saw that scene from Joe, it hit me, is because those normal/healthy people have a tomorrow, they have a reason to stay alive and thrive.

While people like me don't have a tomorrow, we only have the present, lately I've been using my credit card more than usual, but I don't care anymore, I'm not going to live for much longer, I don't have a tomorrow, and I was wondering if maybe someone here could understand/relate to what I'm talking about!