u/Nicolangelo000

I know the title sounds weird, and I don’t really know how to explain this without making it sound worse than it is, but this has been bothering me for a while.
I’m a 16 yo gay guy, and my best friend is a 16 yo girl. I’ll call her Audrey.

Audrey is genuinely the best friend I’ve ever had. We’ve only been close for about a year and a half, but she’s already done more for me than any other friend I’ve ever had. She’s always there when I need someone, she’s supportive, and she has never directly treated me badly because of my sexuality.

That’s why this situation is so confusing.

As far as I know, Audrey has always considered herself supportive of LGBTQ+ people. Before we became friends, her best friend was also gay. She’s never made homophobic jokes, never used slurs around me, and has never said anything that made me think she secretly disliked gay people.
The problem isn’t what she says.
It’s the guys she likes.

Her type is basically the stereotypical Spanish “street” guy. If you’re not familiar with that culture, imagine the kind of teenage guys who act extremely macho, think being gay is something to mock, get drunk and high at a young age, and make their entire personality about looking tough. Obviously not every guy like that is the same, but where I live, a HUGE (If not all of them) percentage of the ones she’s interested in are openly homophobic.

Some of them are the kind of people who harass gay people in public. Sometimes they’re even the type you later see in local news after attacking someone.
And somehow those are exactly the guys she keeps falling for.

Every single guy she’s liked since I’ve known her has openly had beliefs that go directly against who I am.
She’s never dated any of them seriously, so I’ve never actually met one in person. But I’ve seen enough.
A few of these guys have seen pictures of me on her Instagram or Snapchat and immediately started making really disgusting comments about me being gay. Not teasing, not edgy jokes but actual homophobic comments.

As far as I know, she didn’t join in or insult me herself, but she also never completely cut those guys off because of it. She would eventually move on from them, but usually because they weren’t interested in her or things didn’t work out, not because they were homophobic.

A while ago, this topic actually came up in my friend group.
We were talking about people dating racists, homophobes, etcetera, and I said something like:
“I think if your boyfriend is openly homophobic, racist, or believes horrible things, and you’re perfectly okay with that, then you probably share those beliefs to some extent, or at least you don’t think they’re a dealbreaker.”
Audrey never joined in.

Another thing that might be relevant is that Audrey has really bad luck with relationships.
I don’t want this post to sound like I’m judging her for that because I’m genuinely not, I also don't have good luck.
But realistically, she develops a crush on a new guy roughly every month and a half or every two months. We’ve been best friends since January 2025, so that’s about a year and a half. If you do the math, that’s at least nine different guys, and honestly I think it’s probably been more than that.
The weird part is that despite all those different crushes… the pattern never changes.
They’re almost always the same type of guy.
The same attitude, social circles and "being gay is disgusting" mentality.

At some point it stopped feeling like bad luck and started feeling like she was actively attracted to people with those beliefs.
That’s what’s bothering me.
Because if every single person you’re romantically interested in thinks people like me are disgusting, what does that say about you?

I don’t think Audrey secretly hates me.
If anything, her actions toward me suggest the opposite.
But I also struggle to understand how someone can genuinely support LGBTQ+ people while repeatedly being attracted to people who openly despise LGBTQ+ people.

I know attraction isn’t something you consciously choose.
But choosing to keep pursuing someone after you know they’re openly homophobic feels like a choice.
And that’s the part I can’t stop thinking about.
She’s my best friend, and I genuinely don’t want to lose her over something that I’m misunderstanding.
At the same time, one thing I know for sure is that I don’t really want to be close friends with someone whose values secretly align with the people who would happily make my life miserable just because I’m gay.
is this a reasonable thing to be concerned about?

I’m a gay teenager living in a relatively small town, and my dating pool is honestly tiny. That’s important context because the situation I’m dealing with feels a lot more complicated than it probably would in a bigger city.
A few years ago, my best friend “Angela” (15F) dated a guy I’ll call Aaron when they were around 13. Aaron later came out as gay. Their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect, but they ended on relatively decent terms.
Aaron could be a bit strange sometimes. For example, he once gave Angela a printed poem he found on Google and claimed he wrote it himself. Stuff like that. After they broke up, he blocked Angela for a long time, and they didn’t really talk.
Recently, both of our schools happened to be on trips to Rome at the exact same time. Aaron noticed the coincidence, unblocked Angela, and they had a friendly conversation about it. Since then, Angela has been talking about how much she’d love to reconnect with him as friends.
The thing is, she genuinely thinks very highly of him. She constantly says he was always there for her, helped her through difficult times, listened to her problems, and was generally a really caring person. She even used to joke that she’d love to see me date him.
I always rejected that idea because Aaron simply wasn’t my type, and honestly, dating a friend’s ex felt weird.
But lately I’ve been thinking about it more. Physically, he still isn’t really my type. However, when I stop focusing on that and look at his personality, he actually seems like a pretty good catch. The more Angela talks about him, the more I realize he sounds like someone I’d probably get along with.
Here’s where things get complicated.
My other best friend, “Elvis” (17M), is also gay and actually dated Aaron too.
To be fair, Elvis admits that he wasn’t exactly a great boyfriend in that relationship. He was getting to know two people at the same time and the relationship ended badly.
Ever since then, Elvis has been extremely clear that he does not want me interacting with Aaron at all. Not dating him, not talking to him, nothing.
The problem is that Elvis also has a long history of reacting this way whenever I’m interested in someone.
He’s incredibly flirtatious with me. To this day I genuinely can’t tell whether he’s joking or not half the time.
He constantly tells me about his crushes, but whenever I mention mine, he immediately starts criticizing them. It doesn’t even matter if he knows the person. He’ll say things like “they’re not worth it” despite having zero information about them.
He also jokes that he’ll never introduce me to any of his friends because he wants to “gatekeep” them from me. The weird thing is that while he says it as a joke, he actually follows through. He genuinely seems uncomfortable with the idea of me dating anyone.
Maybe part of that comes from the fact that I can be a bit intense when I develop feelings for someone. I don’t know.
The thing is, Elvis is genuinely one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I love him dearly, and no potential relationship is worth losing that friendship.
But at the same time, I feel stuck.
A few days ago, Aaron replied to one of my Instagram stories and asked where a church I’d posted was located. We follow each other because we have mutual friends.
When I told Elvis, he immediately said, “I guarantee he doesn’t care about the church. He just wants an excuse to talk to you.”
I replied politely and gave Aaron the location.
Aaron hasn’t messaged me since.
Yet somehow Elvis is still annoyed that I responded at all.
Meanwhile, Angela couldn’t care less. She keeps telling me that she just wants to reconnect with Aaron as friends and that she wouldn’t be bothered if anything happened between us.
So now I’m confused.
Part of me thinks Elvis should understand my position. Being gay in a small town means opportunities to meet compatible people are rare. Really rare.
Part of me wonders whether Elvis is being protective, possessive, jealous, or if this is all just a joke that’s gone too far.
What makes it even more complicated is that Elvis has some kind of history with a huge percentage of the gay guys in our area. If I completely ruled out anyone who had ever dated, talked to, or been involved with him, I’d probably be eliminating most of the available dating pool.
I don’t even know if Aaron is interested in me. Maybe he isn’t.
But I do know that I find it strange that my best friend seems upset whenever there’s even a possibility of me connecting with someone.

What's you guys opinions?

Hi, I'm 16, planning to move to London once I'm older. I want to do a humanities baccalaureate, get a degree on Audiovisual Communication and then a Master on VFX, I'm definitely moving to London if everything goes according to plan.

Is this a good way to get there? What should I start doing now that I'm young? Will this job be replaced my AI somewhere in the future or will it just be a tool?

I'm from Spain btw! I'll be answering any questions.

I’m a gay teenager living in a relatively small town, and my dating pool is honestly tiny. That’s important context because the situation I’m dealing with feels a lot more complicated than it probably would in a bigger city.
A few years ago, my best friend “Angela” (15F) dated a guy I’ll call Aaron when they were around 13. Aaron later came out as gay. Their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect, but they ended on relatively decent terms.
Aaron could be a bit strange sometimes. For example, he once gave Angela a printed poem he found on Google and claimed he wrote it himself. Stuff like that. After they broke up, he blocked Angela for a long time, and they didn’t really talk.
Recently, both of our schools happened to be on trips to Rome at the exact same time. Aaron noticed the coincidence, unblocked Angela, and they had a friendly conversation about it. Since then, Angela has been talking about how much she’d love to reconnect with him as friends.
The thing is, she genuinely thinks very highly of him. She constantly says he was always there for her, helped her through difficult times, listened to her problems, and was generally a really caring person. She even used to joke that she’d love to see me date him.
I always rejected that idea because Aaron simply wasn’t my type, and honestly, dating a friend’s ex felt weird.
But lately I’ve been thinking about it more. Physically, he still isn’t really my type. However, when I stop focusing on that and look at his personality, he actually seems like a pretty good catch. The more Angela talks about him, the more I realize he sounds like someone I’d probably get along with.
Here’s where things get complicated.
My other best friend, “Elvis” (17M), is also gay and actually dated Aaron too.
To be fair, Elvis admits that he wasn’t exactly a great boyfriend in that relationship. He was getting to know two people at the same time and the relationship ended badly.
Ever since then, Elvis has been extremely clear that he does not want me interacting with Aaron at all. Not dating him, not talking to him, nothing.
The problem is that Elvis also has a long history of reacting this way whenever I’m interested in someone.
He’s incredibly flirtatious with me. To this day I genuinely can’t tell whether he’s joking or not half the time.
He constantly tells me about his crushes, but whenever I mention mine, he immediately starts criticizing them. It doesn’t even matter if he knows the person. He’ll say things like “they’re not worth it” despite having zero information about them.
He also jokes that he’ll never introduce me to any of his friends because he wants to “gatekeep” them from me. The weird thing is that while he says it as a joke, he actually follows through. He genuinely seems uncomfortable with the idea of me dating anyone.
Maybe part of that comes from the fact that I can be a bit intense when I develop feelings for someone. I don’t know.
The thing is, Elvis is genuinely one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I love him dearly, and no potential relationship is worth losing that friendship.
But at the same time, I feel stuck.
A few days ago, Aaron replied to one of my Instagram stories and asked where a church I’d posted was located. We follow each other because we have mutual friends.
When I told Elvis, he immediately said, “I guarantee he doesn’t care about the church. He just wants an excuse to talk to you.”
I replied politely and gave Aaron the location.
Aaron hasn’t messaged me since.
Yet somehow Elvis is still annoyed that I responded at all.
Meanwhile, Angela couldn’t care less. She keeps telling me that she just wants to reconnect with Aaron as friends and that she wouldn’t be bothered if anything happened between us.
So now I’m confused.
Part of me thinks Elvis should understand my position. Being gay in a small town means opportunities to meet compatible people are rare. Really rare.
Part of me wonders whether Elvis is being protective, possessive, jealous, or if this is all just a joke that’s gone too far.
What makes it even more complicated is that Elvis has some kind of history with a huge percentage of the gay guys in our area. If I completely ruled out anyone who had ever dated, talked to, or been involved with him, I’d probably be eliminating most of the available dating pool.
I don’t even know if Aaron is interested in me. Maybe he isn’t.
But I do know that I find it strange that my best friend seems upset whenever there’s even a possibility of me connecting with someone.

What's you guys opinions?

I’m a gay teenager living in a relatively small town, and my dating pool is honestly tiny. That’s important context because the situation I’m dealing with feels a lot more complicated than it probably would in a bigger city.
A few years ago, my best friend “Angela” (15F) dated a guy I’ll call Aaron when they were around 13. Aaron later came out as gay. Their relationship wasn’t exactly perfect, but they ended on relatively decent terms.
Aaron could be a bit strange sometimes. For example, he once gave Angela a printed poem he found on Google and claimed he wrote it himself. Stuff like that. After they broke up, he blocked Angela for a long time, and they didn’t really talk.
Recently, both of our schools happened to be on trips to Rome at the exact same time. Aaron noticed the coincidence, unblocked Angela, and they had a friendly conversation about it. Since then, Angela has been talking about how much she’d love to reconnect with him as friends.
The thing is, she genuinely thinks very highly of him. She constantly says he was always there for her, helped her through difficult times, listened to her problems, and was generally a really caring person. She even used to joke that she’d love to see me date him.
I always rejected that idea because Aaron simply wasn’t my type, and honestly, dating a friend’s ex felt weird.
But lately I’ve been thinking about it more. Physically, he still isn’t really my type. However, when I stop focusing on that and look at his personality, he actually seems like a pretty good catch. The more Angela talks about him, the more I realize he sounds like someone I’d probably get along with.
Here’s where things get complicated.
My other best friend, “Elvis” (17M), is also gay and actually dated Aaron too.
To be fair, Elvis admits that he wasn’t exactly a great boyfriend in that relationship. He was getting to know two people at the same time and the relationship ended badly.
Ever since then, Elvis has been extremely clear that he does not want me interacting with Aaron at all. Not dating him, not talking to him, nothing.
The problem is that Elvis also has a long history of reacting this way whenever I’m interested in someone.
He’s incredibly flirtatious with me. To this day I genuinely can’t tell whether he’s joking or not half the time.
He constantly tells me about his crushes, but whenever I mention mine, he immediately starts criticizing them. It doesn’t even matter if he knows the person. He’ll say things like “they’re not worth it” despite having zero information about them.
He also jokes that he’ll never introduce me to any of his friends because he wants to “gatekeep” them from me. The weird thing is that while he says it as a joke, he actually follows through. He genuinely seems uncomfortable with the idea of me dating anyone.
Maybe part of that comes from the fact that I can be a bit intense when I develop feelings for someone. I don’t know.
The thing is, Elvis is genuinely one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I love him dearly, and no potential relationship is worth losing that friendship.
But at the same time, I feel stuck.
A few days ago, Aaron replied to one of my Instagram stories and asked where a church I’d posted was located. We follow each other because we have mutual friends.
When I told Elvis, he immediately said, “I guarantee he doesn’t care about the church. He just wants an excuse to talk to you.”
I replied politely and gave Aaron the location.
Aaron hasn’t messaged me since.
Yet somehow Elvis is still annoyed that I responded at all.
Meanwhile, Angela couldn’t care less. She keeps telling me that she just wants to reconnect with Aaron as friends and that she wouldn’t be bothered if anything happened between us.
So now I’m confused.
Part of me thinks Elvis should understand my position. Being gay in a small town means opportunities to meet compatible people are rare. Really rare.
Part of me wonders whether Elvis is being protective, possessive, jealous, or if this is all just a joke that’s gone too far.
What makes it even more complicated is that Elvis has some kind of history with a huge percentage of the gay guys in our area. If I completely ruled out anyone who had ever dated, talked to, or been involved with him, I’d probably be eliminating most of the available dating pool.
I don’t even know if Aaron is interested in me. Maybe he isn’t.
But I do know that I find it strange that my best friend seems upset whenever there’s even a possibility of me connecting with someone.
Am I reading too much into this? Is Elvis being unreasonable? Should I avoid Aaron entirely because he’s my friend’s ex, or am I overthinking a situation that hasn’t even become romantic yet?

I’m a 16 year old gay guy, and next week my class is going on our end of year school trip

About a year ago, I was severely bullied by a group of 5 boys. The situation got so bad that I ended up spending a week in the hospital because of something one of them did. Since then, things have calmed down, but I still feel very unsafe around them.

The problem is that there will be 20 boys on the trip, and the rooms are for 4/5/6 people each. Every single boy going on the trip is friends with, or at least gets along really well with, the guy who bullied me the most. Literally all of them....

The teachers assign the rooms. I explained my situation and concerns to the teachers who are organizing the trip. I asked whether I could either stay alone or be placed with my closest friends (who are girls), since I feel much safer around them. They told me that neither option is possible and that I need to “deal with it."

I’m honestly really worried. I’m not only afraid of direct bullying happening again, but also of being constantly judged, mocked behind my back, or having every little thing I do become a joke for the rest of the group. I feel like the whole trip could become a nightmare (I promise im not exaggerating)

My homeroom teacher told me that if anything happens, I should tell her and she would talk to the students involved, I cried to her like a baby (like, bawled my eyes out like never before) but she absolutely refused, that doesn’t really make me feel protected, especially given what happened in the past.

I genuinely dont know what to do, they told me that if I sneaked in any of the girls' rooms they would send me back home even though my girl friends are specially mad about the whole situation

Trip starts Sunday, Its non-refundable and very expensive
My parents obviously know about the whole situation and told me not going is not an option

Im really scared

I feel like as a gay person who lives in a small-medium city Ive had to settle with what I have, especially as a teen when most guys arent out yet
Honestly Im not focused on sex so if theyre kind and fun idc about the rest but man sometimes ive had to force the attraction

I’m a 16 year old gay guy, and next week my class is going on our end of year school trip

About a year ago, I was severely bullied by a group of 5 boys. The situation got so bad that I ended up spending a week in the hospital because of something one of them did. Since then, things have calmed down, but I still feel very unsafe around them.

The problem is that there will be 20 boys on the trip, and the rooms are for 4/5/6 people each. Every single boy going on the trip is friends with, or at least gets along really well with, the guy who bullied me the most. Literally all of them....

The teachers assign the rooms. I explained my situation and concerns to the teachers who are organizing the trip. I asked whether I could either stay alone or be placed with my closest friends (who are girls), since I feel much safer around them. They told me that neither option is possible and that I need to “deal with it."

I’m honestly really worried. I’m not only afraid of direct bullying happening again, but also of being constantly judged, mocked behind my back, or having every little thing I do become a joke for the rest of the group. I feel like the whole trip could become a nightmare (I promise im not exaggerating)

My homeroom teacher told me that if anything happens, I should tell her and she would talk to the students involved, I cried to her like a baby (like, bawled my eyes out like never before) but she absolutely refuses, that doesn’t really make me feel protected, especially given what happened in the past.

I genuinely dont know what to do, they told me that if I sneaked in any of the girls' rooms they would send me back home even though my girl friends are specially mad about the whole situation