For those of you who also go through huge differences between: What to do?

I was also diagnosed with ADHD, and this is a bit of a vent-discussion-advice.

Context: Primarily due to choice paralysis, I spent almost 4 stressful weeks undecided about which spice jars to buy. Yesterday, I saw a model I hadn’t seen and made up my mind, and today I made the purchase. At least someone didn’t like the choice. I’m exhausted!!! from never being able to reach a consensus within myself, and it’s driving me crazy, and I don’t know how damaging it is to ignore the rest of me. I’m so!!! different in every way that, sincerely, after this, I think in the future I’ll just buy whatever I can find, since I like and dislike absolutely everything.

Size XS fit perfectly.

My ear is about the diameter of the cotton swab tip (± 5mm). Even the attendant didn’t believe it would work.

Can someone who has gone through something like this explain it to me?

Brief context: One of my favorite mobile games was discontinued, and I accidentally uninstalled it. I’ve been literally having nightmares ever since.

My ear is about the diameter of the cotton swab tip (± 5mm). For those who also have a small ear anatomy, were able to use both the Quiet 2 and the Dream, and managed to get along well with the purchase, which one was more comfortable–practical to put on?

[No advice needed] Context: I’m +25yo; with moderate support needs; living alone after escaping domestic violence; in an underdeveloped country.

ㅤI try to act strong cause I hate asking for help, but now this is bringing me to the reality that… Damn… I’m disabled. And I’m 100% alone. Since I moved, I’ve been struggling with food and money, and adapting to the rented environment — which is dreadful, and I couldn’t adapt anything either —, and after I was hospitalized with suspected endometriosis, my life really fell apart… I’m a trans man, it’s obvious they’re going to prioritize women, at least statistically. I’m struggling to be able to start paying for a health insurance plan as much as I want to kill myself, but I’m planning a funeral first. Always money!

ㅤAnyone else either take too long to resolve something for me, or they don’t help at all. This month I’m going to file a legal appeal for benefits, but my biggest fear now is that the judge will consider it a shelter. I don’t want to lose even the slightest bit of my autonomy. That makes me feel terrible.

Context: I’m +25yo; moderate support needs; living alone after escaping domestic violence; extreme social isolation; underdeveloped country.

ㅤI’m starting to think about online prostitution to try — at least a little — to improve my financial life. I’ve already tried for jobs for PwD who don’t have experience, but I haven’t had any luck. I’m financially dependent on my family; it’s less than a minimum wage — I don’t live in extreme poverty, thankfully! I’m in financial difficulty.

ㅤI WANT TO finish college and work in the field, but I’d need to pay for, or at least fight through the Public Defender for some time, to 1) be able to return to my ADHD medication treatment AND 2) hiring a private tutor — calculations.

ㅤI don’t have enough money to pay for my course, my med, my masculinizing hormone therapy, or its check-up exams, at the same time or in pairs, and I feel guilty if I say that my priority will always be my transition, despite all the suicidal thoughts that come just from me being trans and that I should worry about working first, though. My life is just try 1) to take care of myself — managing my hygiene and nutrition — and 2) to study independently, but that won’t get me a job. I’m exhausted, always being in the eye of the storm.

ㅤI’m trying to apply for a benefit, but already in the 1st result: the medical examiner marked a lot of things on the questionnaire that contradict my report, and the result was “Mild difficulty”, and the social assessment — “Severe difficulty”. Basically, the bottom line was “Does not qualify as disabled to receive it”. Even other social worker said I’m not indigent, so I won’t be able to get it. I’ll try this a 2sd time, now with free legal proceedings, but I’m already severely defeated mentally. Then I start to think that I’m not trying hard enough.

Context: I’m a trans man, currently not on hormone therapy; + 25 years old, menarche (first menstruation) at age 11, with a history of using birth control pills and rings, mainly due to severe menstrual cramps; not sexually active; having, as far as I can remember, pelvic and transvaginal ultrasounds, blood tests ø any findings or indication of endometriosis; with IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome); suspected fibromyalgia; and from an underdeveloped country.

ㅤI was hospitalized after the surgeons thought it was appendicitis. 1) Severe pain in my lower right side, which started the night I tried to defecate in the morning but couldn’t, 2) after having felt a sharp pain in the cervix and in the right ovary (extremely rare ≈ 5, in all those years) a few days earlier.

ㅤI had two CT scans: one without¹ and one with² contrast. And the ONLY finding was my appendix measuring 0.67 cm¹ and 1.1 cm², small amounts of feces in the intestinal loops and pelvic phleboliths. Blood tests: segmented neutrophils below expected levels, and platelets slightly low but within the normal range. Urine test = Okay. I received 3 bags of antibiotics before leaving, along with a request for a transvaginal ultrasound and a referral to a gynecologist (“Diagnostic hypothesis: Endometriosis”). >!Fuck.!< 1+.

ㅤThe doctor asked me to go back if the pain didn’t improve with the medication he prescribed to be taken home. I have to go back there tomorrow. I can bend my leg now, but I still have some localized pain. I’m terrified of hospitals, I don’t want to go back. I don’t even know if this has to do with fibro, or if it’s also endo. I’msosad!

I'm sorry, I'm really frustrated and alone right now. Context: I'm also autistic with moderate support needs and ADHD, living alone. Earlier today I felt like I needed to poop, but I put it off. In the afternoon, I started feeling pain in the lower right side of my abdomen. It was very strong, and it hurt when I lifted my leg. Before that, I was feeling sciatic pain because my posture hadn't been the best in the last few days. I also ate more fried food than usual in the last few weeks, and a lot of gas.

I asked at the emergency if it could be appendicitis, and the doctor said it was unlikely. But even so, I'm worried, my leg and sciatic still hurts and I'm afraid to make any sudden movements, thinking that my appendix ruptured and that I'm about to develop sepsis, but that everything is masked by the intravenous anti-inflammatory I took in the infirmary. I managed to go to the toilet now. Has anyone else experienced this? Should I go back and ask for an imaging or blood test as a precaution? It's already late at night and I'm sleepy, wanting to go to sleep.

# In the psychiatric emergency

Because more suicidal and ideation

Context: I’m a trans man; autistic with moderate support needs, living alone after escaping domestic violence; and from an underdeveloped country.

ㅤI asked if I could speak to the psycho alone first (2 other team members were in the room, too). >>> MOCKINGLY, right from the start <<<, she asked “But what difference does it make? ” — “I’ve difficulty communicating with many people”. Then, both alone, I told her I had written what I wanted to say and asked if she could read it… And, “Why don’t you read it? Don’t you know that? ”

ㅤShe asked me; I said about having more intense suicidal thoughts and ideation, talked about difficulties with hygiene, and “Couldn’t you shower alone!? ” Then, she started focusing on my body, asking what the problem I was during shower time, since it’s a time to have contact with the body (implying that I had suffered some kind of sexual violence and that it’s), while I said that this house has poor electrical wiring, not heating the water enough…

ㅤWhen she asked about a person who had gone there with me years ago, that was when I said I’m trans. Got worse. When I said I distanced myself from that person because she even didn’t try to call me by my new name, she asked if I wasn't being reluctant to accept it, given the person’s age… She asked what a man and a woman are. I said that, in my opinion, it’s something that I’m, it’s just how my brain works, that I wish I’d been born in a male body, that my brain senses that something is out of place. Then, she started focusing on my problem with the female body, as if I were angry at all of them or I were a cis woman who is being influenced by patriarchy and now wants to be a man.

ㅤShe confronted me about speaking “wrongly” when I said about I have difficulty (getting restful) sleep (but not always falling asleep), and she thought I couldn’t sleep at all, as if I were lying. She talked about I don’t smile and the way I speak, that I should talk more and it’s necessary in therapy, that I give very short answers and to complex subjects, like “What is it to be a man? ” — “Well… It's being me ”, as if I were being hasty in my trans transition.

ㅤAnd, finishing closing the coffin lid, she said she thinks I’m depressed, not autistic, asking if I don’t think I’m too young to be unable to work because of my “autism”, even though I haven’t been able to graduate or hold down a job and a ton of other things that I’m exhausted to repeat for… “Adaptations!? And what adaptations are needed so that you can do work!? ” That’s because I didn’t even mention that I’ve fibromyalgia, otherwise she would think I was making more excuses or being a bum.