u/No-Clock2011

So I think I’m in PM but I didn’t think I had hot flushes ever. But last night I was struggling with feeling overheated and striping off, wetting my face, putting fan on me etc (but it is hot weather rn so I get it) and then a bit later wrapping up again cause I felt colder again. But the problem is I have always had interoception issues and body temperature regulation issues throughout my life because of being autistic. I also find it really hard to know what something is (eg hot flushes) just from a description of what they are because if my mind has already classified it somehow my inflexible brain doesn’t think outside of that until I really stop to think hard about things and see there could be other possibilities or that I could be misinterpreting something.

So I ask others that might be in this camp with me, what are hot flushes like for you? When did you realise that’s what they are?

I keep trying to explain to my doctor about interoception issues but she doesn’t get it. That my body is so sensitive and getting so many noisy signals that I can’t create a hierarchy of importance - that there’s often so much noise that my brain overloads with information that everything becomes a fuzzy mess.

I’ve been trying to make the UK work for 9 years now. But I haven’t succeeded. I’ve struggled to get any permanent work (I also have disabilities which has made it hard but been getting help from disability employment organisations but haven’t got anywhere). Here I have good community (routine and volunteer work opportunities) and a couple close friends. Back in my home country I have friends but they are all very busy with family lives etc. I’ve been single for well over a decade and got nowhere with that either (I hoped I would being overseas but haven’t despite trying). I don’t have a firmly established direction in life as I’m an artist and jump between different expressions of that. I don’t want to return to my hometown as I hate it there but I could return to the other city I’ve lived in previously- but don’t really have any friends there (most moved away).
UK is just so expensive but it’s also been my home and has my friends - though my best friend is moving away soon. I’m sort of growing apart from my community a bit as it’s a sports one and I got tired of the obsessive addiction to the sports and I’ve developed injuries and conditions that prevent me from gets as involved now - they are still lovely but I’ve got less in common.

I had hoped to get work and stick it out until my citizenship and I thought I was close but turned out it’s still another 9+ months away. I don’t think I can handle another winter here. I find them very hard (without job, partner, family etc to get my through). I know I’ll always feel torn btwn the two places but im just feeling like I need another break from the constant trying and money evaporating thing. But im from the other side of the world and sick of travelling between so I think this time it would be moving for good. Set up wouldn’t be too hard as I could move back into a family place (but I struggle with it as it’s old and damp and moldy). But I’d have garden and I could get a pet friend to keep me company.

I probably haven’t explained myself well but that’s all I’ve got for now. I really was determined to make UK work and I do love a lot about it - just I never seem to catch a break despite really trying. My disabilities make it so much harder too.

EDIT: thanks all for the tips!!! I will keep extra chest of cheap veg on hand!!

Is there anyway to stop this!? When cooking a recipe with generic vegetables it ALWAYS take a pumpkin for me - and sometimes I catch it in time but most of the time cause I’m trying to make meals fast I’m just clicking the cook button sequence on autopilot and it’s already too late when I notice a pricy pumpkin has been selected 😭

I’m really excited for the show and have been completely obsessed with The Mountain since it’s release - listening hundreds of times and watching the video too. It’s my first time seeing them live. But I’m also really stressed with lots of people and I’m also not able to stand up long with my connective tissue disorder so I have a seat but sometimes people stand up even in seating then I can’t see.
I’ll be as prepared as I can be but I’m new to navigating all of this (and venues this big!) and would really appreciate and advice from any others with similar experiences.
It’s also the getting home afterwards with so many people around that worries me (as once I accidentally got caught in the Oasis crowd from Wembley even though I wasn’t at the show and when into full meltdown and was alone which was really scary). Thanks in advance

So this will be my second attempt to ask the Dr for help with my fatigue, brain fog, forgetfulness, aches and pains, anxiety, fractures, worsening ADHD and many other peri like symptoms. So far she’s said I’m too young for perimeno even though I’m early 40s and my sisters younger than me (but in a dif country) have started trialling patches. I’m on NHS so I don’t really get much choice in my Dr. Please I need advice how to talk to the dr! I have so much anxiety from trauma at Drs and I’m autistic and find it very difficult to advocate for myself. I’m scared because my blood tests were fine I’m just going to be told ‘sorry there’s nothing wrong and nothing we can do despite literally needing to sleep much if the day. Not able to work. Etc. and yes I’ve told her this. Thanks in advance!

It’s so interesting doing all this healing and then I’m sometimes in a place where I feel ready to reach back out to one of my parents and I can tell they still operate under the ‘punishment’ system. So even though I’m there, holding the first tentative signs of an olive branch, it’s still more important for them to ‘get back’ at the child and try ‘punish’ them for having gone no/low contact. ‘If you ignore me well I’m going to ignore you now.’ Funny thing is I could honestly take it or leave it. It doesn’t feel like punishment at all because I’ve grown out of that dynamic.
I just feel sad for them.

Interesting though that it’s still more important for them to play this game than actually enjoy the connection that they (in my case) allegedly want. Shooting them selves in the foot it seems. Gosh it must be exhausting to still be using those dynamics that late in life. If they want a relationship they are going to need to realise it’s not about winning or loosing, it’s not about punishment or reward, it’s simply we connect or we don’t. And I’m okay with don’t. I’ve made peace with it.

Hi thanks for letting me in the sub. I’ve struggled with derma as long as I can remember and it got worse over the last few years. In winter I can hide it which is good. But it’s hot weather now and suddenly people of all kinds are point blank asking me about my scars and open skin. ‘What did you do?’ ‘What happened there?’ ‘How did you do that!’ etc. Acquaintances, friends, housemates, professionals (eg my physio), and in the past family had asked too (but I live elsewhere now). I feel so much shame and embarrassment. To me it’s as if they are asking something incredibly intimate and personal. I’m trying to think of other things to tell them or maybe even mention my condition but it’s so hard. I have so many things going on and it just feels like another way to stand out when I don’t want to. I used to cover them with makeup (and sometimes still do) but people still notice and I got sick of putting make up on. What should I do? I’m finding it really hard.
I was due to go open water swimming this week so I managed to push through my best and let things heal so I could swimming without broken skin but as soon as I showered after the swim I was so relieved to be able to go at it again. Gah.

So I’m thinking I may need to try a low histamine diet to try reduce inflammation in my body… however it gets tricky. Because of my history of eating disorders I practice Intuitive Eating (for past 2 years which has been amazing at healing EDs), I also struggle with loads of executive dysfunction around food/food shopping etc. And I’m incredibly picky in the foods I eat, like a mild to moderate version of ARFID.

Unfortunately the foods I seem to be able to manage to make and stomach seem to be a lot of high histamine foods…. Spinach, tomatoes, strawberries (my latest food fixation), wheat things and more.

I worry there is no hope for me because of how bad my executive dysfunction around food things is as well as my limited palette. Also when I’ve trying to cut out wheat before my brain sees it as a huge restriction (despite eating other carbs) and freaks out then completely snaps and binges.
I can’t handle any gluten free breads - not the textures nor the tastes.

Am I screwed? 😬

I’m hitting the come down of a 2ish week deep hyperfixation. I wasnt able to really keep up my life or routines while in this HF so of course I will try to do things like washing, shopping, cooking etc now but the come down is tough as the anxiety and depressive vibes are starting to creep in now. I got quite a lot done, had a wonderful domaine filled time and I’ve absorbed a huge amount of info too, but now it’s processing time and I don’t want to be unwell. I don’t want to feel dissociative. I need to reground. Any tips on managing this? I don’t get these deep HFs too often - more light fluctuating ones, so I’m not well practiced at reestablishing myself afterwards. Any advice greatly appreciated. Thank you!

So I spent years beating myself up because I couldn’t seem to progress as a guitarist and keyboardist/pianist despite practicing… and lately I’ve been recording - first time since figuring out about my hEDS and understanding what it is and i suddenly clicked - maybe my hEDS is why I struggle so much? Especially playing keys, my fingers keep locking and then I stop playing, even for a beat and then it’s ruined. Ive also always felt ashamed that I can’t seem to use my pinky when playing lead guitar so I’ve always had to alter any scales/lead breaks which slows things down a bit too. I guess it’s probably the shame which slows me down the most. I was also taught right handed but im left hand dominant. I’ve also been trying to learn flute and having similar issues (which reach to as my hands aren’t big, I’m a woman fyi). Any one else out there who can relate and might have advice? Thanks so much.

I’m also dyslexic with adhd (maybe dyspraxic or is it a proprioception thing?) and make mistakes no matter how much I practice do. It’s incredibly frustrating for me.

So I mostly stick to being a recording artist/producer because I can edit as I go. Live I tend to stick to singing or rhythm instrumentation as I don’t get tripped up so much. But still feel lots of shame and have imposter syndrome around this all.

Most of my life I’ve really struggled with huge, painful emotions around seeing others have things that I dream of but haven’t managed to get/have. I’m not talking of material things per se, more like, seeing people with settled lives, jobs, (successes in artistic endeavours - I’m an artist), a loving partner, children, pet, a home, close friends and such. Fundamental things. I have tried over the years to use envy to fuel myself to go out and get the things I want but I think I’m now realising that with how my conditions disable me I just may never be able to… which is so hard to accept.

And what’s worse I’m left feeling like a horrible person because I struggle to feel happy for others when they say announce their successes or their engagement or baby on the way etc. I think there’s probably lots of trauma I’m carrying from various failed attempts to have the things I wish I could in my life so that’s likely underlying a lot of this. I know everyone so easily says things like ‘comparison is the thief of joy’ and such but that only makes me feel worse because I can’t help it.

Lately I’m thinking I need to perhaps have more self compassion and perhaps that will help me more. It’s clear that the other methods I’ve been using aren’t working. But what are some ways to be more self compassionate? I’m sick of hating myself for this.

And I would how this fits into Audhd… I can see the cptsd, maybe some RSD too…and issues with emotional regulation and strong sensitivity I guess. But nothing specifically defined. Hence wondering if others experience this too?

It’s getting so incredibly painful for me each time more happy news is announced and then I double down by punishing myself for having the painful reaction. New baby was announced yesterday. An engagement last week, another baby a couple weeks before that. It feels like death by a thousand cuts. I’m in my 40s now but I grew up in a religious environment so this has been happening for decades. I’m almost wishing my life away at this point - wishing I was at an age where this thing was less frequent. The pain is barely tolerable and is having a cumulative affect.