u/No-Culture-7343

Hello, guys. How are you doing? I hope everyone is doing well today. I am a 25-year-old male and an only child. My father is already 58, my mother is 56, and I am completely lost and very afraid at the same time. I know all of us are going to get old and pass away eventually; it is just that I do not know what to do if I lose my mother and father.

I know I have not been a really good kid to them, but I am trying my best to be a better son. I know I haven't shown my affection openly, like kissing or hugging them, but I really, really love my parents. I just feel like a complete failure of a son because I am already 25, yet I am only a high school graduate and did not finish college. I feel like I haven't made them proud. I am supposed to be the one helping and taking care of everything for them now, but I am completely lost. I feel like I don't know what to do, and I don't have any skills or talents. I really want to give them a good, better, and long life. :(

Back when I was in senior high school, I only finished one semester. I only attended one subject and cut the rest of my classes. It felt like something slapped me, and I started feeling sick because I began experiencing anxiety. I became very afraid and shy around people, and I hated talking to them. Because of that, I stopped going to school and looked for a job instead. I have experience working as a service crew member, construction worker, helper, and cashier at a water refilling station.

Back then, when I felt the anxiety, I would constantly feel afraid and shy around everyone. The worst part was when our neighbors would talk and laugh; I would immediately start thinking they were talking about me. That is why I sometimes refused to go outside, or I would take a different path just so I wouldn't see them and they wouldn't see me. The only things that made me happy and calm were my online friends and the friends I played with at computer shops.

In 2023, I was diagnosed with CIDP. I could not walk for a whole year and was completely bedridden. I am so happy and thankful that after a year of continuously taking my medication and doing exercises, I was able to recover.

But now, here I am at 25 years old. While my mother and father are getting older, I am completely lost and don't know what to do. I don't know what will happen to me if my mother and father are gone. 😭 I have been unemployed for a few months now. I left my job as a PLDT reporter/technician because of coworkers who were very sycophantic*.*​

Now, I don't know where to begin. I am still dealing with the same internal issues; I am still very shy and afraid to talk to or see people today. It is one of the main reasons why I cannot step out of my comfort zone. 😭

I tried doing social media in the past. I only got 2 to 3 months of monetization, but I gave all of the ₱100,000+ I earned to my parents and some to my father's siblings, especially my aunt, who helped me with my medications and checkups when I couldn't walk. After that, my account got suspended and the monetization stopped. After years of being inactive, I tried doing it again. I got invited back, but sadly, the earnings right now are too low. It barely moves at all; even earning one cent of a dollar is so hard. It's sad.

I don't even know what I would do if it happens. Sometimes I cannot sleep because I keep thinking about all of this. It is already 2:42 AM right now here in the Philippines.

Sometimes, I think people who have a lot of siblings are so lucky. When the time comes that your parents pass away, you do not have to carry the entire burden alone because you have brothers and sisters who will be there for you. That is why there are days when I cry a lot, especially today. I don't really know why.

I hope and pray for all of you, especially for all the only children out there. Be strong, and I hope we will all be successful in life. I hope that when that time comes, our parents will still be with us for a very long time. Love you, guys.

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FINISHED GAMES:

ANDROID GAMES:

BULLY

BALL X PIT

Bright Memory: Infinite

DYSMANTLE

Dave: The Diver

Forgotten Memories: Remastered

GTA Vice City: Definitive Edition

GTA San Andreas: Definitive Edition

GTA III: Definitive Edition

Hitman: Blood Money Reprisal

Limbo

Max Payne I

Maneater

Outliver: Tribulation

Red Dead Redemption I

Raji: An Ancient Epic

Spongebob: Cosmic Shake

Samurai Vengeance

Very Little Nightmares

Zaptiye

AETHERSX2 EMULATOR:

Resident Evil 4 (OG)

PPSSPP EMULATOR:

Assasins Creed: Bloodlines

DEF JAM: FIGHT FOR NY

From Russia With Love

GTA Liberty City Stories

Manhunt 2

Toy Story 3

The Warriors

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

GAMEHUB EMULATOR:

Assasins Creed: Brotherhood

Assasins Creed I

Assasins Creed II

Assasins Creed III

Assasins Creed IV: Blackflag

Assasins Creed: Rogue

Assasins Creed: Revelations

Battlefield: Bad Company 2

Batman: Arkham Asylum GOTY

Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3

Call Of Duty: World At War

Call Of Duty: Black Ops I

Call Of Juarez: The Cartel

Hitman: Absolution

INSIDE

James Bond 007: Blood Stone

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men

Mafia II (C)

Prototype 1

Prototype 2

Resident Evil 5

Resident Evil 6

Sleeping Dogs: Definitive Edition

Spec Ops: The Line

Saints Row: The Third

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

Tomb Raider: GOTY 2013

Toy Story 3

Wolfenstein I

NOT DONE / FINISH

GAMEHUB

Zombie Army: Trilogy

Left 4 Dead 2

GTA 4

Call Of Duty 2

Alan Wake

Call of Duty Deluxe Edition: United Offensive

Mafia I (C)

My phone is Infinix Note 30 4G - Helio G99​

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