u/No-Ganache3678

I matched with a guy on Hinge. We hadn’t met yet, but we’d had a few long phone calls, got along really well, and planned our first date.

On the day of the date, he called and said he’d gotten pulled into a work meeting and that he’d let me know once he was done. I was okay with that.

The problem was, I didn’t hear from him for hours. I eventually gave up on the plan, and much later that night he texted apologizing, saying the meeting went on for too long.

The next morning, I told him I wasn’t upset that we couldn’t meet. I was disappointed that I was left without an update. My issue was the lack of communication, not the cancelled date. He apologized again and said he’d make up for it.

From a man’s perspective:
Was this just an unfortunate work situation that he handled badly?
If you were genuinely interestedf in someone, would you have sent a quick update?
Does his apology sound genuine?
Would this be enough for you to give someone another chance?

I’ve been reading a lot of posts here where women say they’re exhausted with people who are “just bi-curious” because they’re looking for a serious relationship, and I completely understand where that frustration comes from.

But it also got me wondering… did most of you always know you were bisexual? Or were you bi-curious at some point too? If you were, how did you figure it out?
I’m 27F, and honestly, I have absolutely no fucking clue what I am.

Around 2017, I almost got involved with my best friend. She was into me, had me watch lesbian porn with her, wanted to cuddle, and things were starting to become more than friendship. I remember feeling really confused and scared, so I backed away before anything happened.

Now, years later, I keep finding myself wanting to explore this side of myself, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to treat someone like an experiment or waste anyone’s time if they’re looking for a committed relationship. At the same time, I don’t know how you’re supposed to figure out your sexuality without… well, exploring it.
So I’m curious, what was your journey like? Did you always know? Was there a moment it clicked? Or did it take dating or experiences to understand yourself?
I’d genuinely love to hear your stories.

I'm 27F, in therapy for about a year now, working through a lot of childhood stuff that's shaped my self-worth and how I attach to people. I'm also an only child and the main earner for my family, so there's a lot of pressure on me that doesn't leave much room to fall apart.

I've had two relationships. The first was easy. We were best friends, barely fought, felt dreamy, but it ended over religious differences. The second ended because he was cheating on me from day one.

Both of those left a mark. I have real trust issues now, even with my friends. Most of them are married, and when I reach out I often find no one's available, which makes things feel pretty lonely.

At some point, without really noticing, I ended up on dating apps looking for connection. What I found instead was a pattern: I meet someone, things get physical, I get attached, I overthink everything, it doesn't go anywhere, and then I do it again with someone else. I have a high libido and keep going back to this even though I know how it usually ends.

I think what's underneath all of it is wanting to feel chosen, and chasing that feeling through casual hookups instead of dealing with why I need it so badly. I genuinely want something long-term and stable, but I keep ending up in situations that can't give me that, and then I get hurt by my own choices.

I'm trying to get to a place where I can choose myself first, but I don't know how to actually break this cycle. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop the pattern?

I'm 27F, in therapy for about a year now, working through a lot of childhood stuff that's shaped my self-worth and how I attach to people. I'm also an only child and the main earner for my family, so there's a lot of pressure on me that doesn't leave much room to fall apart.

I've had two relationships. The first was easy. We were best friends, barely fought, felt dreamy, but it ended over religious differences. The second ended because he was cheating on me from day one.

Both of those left a mark. I have real trust issues now, even with my friends. Most of them are married, and when I reach out I often find no one's available, which makes things feel pretty lonely.

At some point, without really noticing, I ended up on dating apps looking for connection. What I found instead was a pattern: I meet someone, things get physical, I get attached, I overthink everything, it doesn't go anywhere, and then I do it again with someone else. I have a high libido and keep going back to this even though I know how it usually ends.

I think what's underneath all of it is wanting to feel chosen, and chasing that feeling through casual hookups instead of dealing with why I need it so badly. I genuinely want something long-term and stable, but I keep ending up in situations that can't give me that, and then I get hurt by my own choices.

I'm trying to get to a place where I can choose myself first, but I don't know how to actually break this cycle. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop the pattern?

I'm 27F, in therapy for about a year now, working through a lot of childhood stuff that's shaped my self-worth and how I attach to people. I'm also an only child and the main earner for my family, so there's a lot of pressure on me that doesn't leave much room to fall apart.

I've had two relationships. The first was easy. We were best friends, barely fought, felt dreamy, but it ended over religious differences. The second ended because he was cheating on me from day one.

Both of those left a mark. I have real trust issues now, even with my friends. Most of them are married, and when I reach out I often find no one's available, which makes things feel pretty lonely.

At some point, without really noticing, I ended up on dating apps looking for connection. What I found instead was a pattern: I meet someone, things get physical, I get attached, I overthink everything, it doesn't go anywhere, and then I do it again with someone else. I have a high libido and keep going back to this even though I know how it usually ends.

I think what's underneath all of it is wanting to feel chosen, and chasing that feeling through casual hookups instead of dealing with why I need it so badly. I genuinely want something long-term and stable, but I keep ending up in situations that can't give me that, and then I get hurt by my own choices.

I'm trying to get to a place where I can choose myself first, but I don't know how to actually break this cycle. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you stop the pattern?

27F, 30M. Need an outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking or if the signs are right in front of me.

This is an ex-colleague. We worked together around 7 years ago and barely spoke back then. He asked me out for coffee in 2023 but I was in a relationship, so nothing happened.

Earlier this year we reconnected. We both said we were looking for something long-term and not casual. We talked on and off for a few months. He would occasionally complain about the distance between us (around 40 km) and we’d share reels and chat.

At one point he suggested a trip. We booked tickets and went together. Before the trip he repeatedly asked about my expectations and what I was looking for. He also told me we’d go as friends and decide later if we wanted to date.

The trip was confusing. We had agreed to do our own thing, but once we got there, he spent most of his time working, smoking, or doing his own thing. I ended up making friends and hanging out with other travelers. I started feeling unwanted and told him I might leave early. He said things like “this is why I prefer solo trips.”

There were also a couple of situations on the trip where I felt unsafe around other men. I felt like he was dismissive at times and I got triggered because I already have abandonment issues from past experiences. We ended up having an argument where I basically told him I didn’t think anything would happen between us because we barely talked and seemed to keep fighting.

The next day, while travelling back, I asked if he wanted to cuddle. We ended up cuddling and getting somewhat intimate. During that time he said things like “don’t do attachment stuff” and “no cute things,” but then he was also the one holding me tightly later. So that left me even more confused.

After the trip I asked him two direct questions: whether he felt weird about what happened between us and whether he regretted it.

He said he didn’t know and needed time to think about it. We later spoke a bit more and he said we could talk about it together.

A few weeks passed. We still exchanged occasional reels and small talk, but he never came back to the conversation. Eventually I followed up and asked if he had thought about it. He replied, “Evening let’s talk on call.”

That was yesterday.

The call never happened. No text. No update.

At this point, am I expecting too much? Am I reading too much into this? Or does this simply look like someone who is interested enough to keep the connection going but not interested enough to actually move it forward?

27F, 30M. Need an outside perspective because I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking or if the signs are right in front of me.

This is an ex-colleague. We worked together around 7 years ago and barely spoke back then. He asked me out for coffee in 2023 but I was in a relationship, so nothing happened.

Earlier this year we reconnected. We both said we were looking for something long-term and not casual. We talked on and off for a few months. He would occasionally complain about the distance between us (around 40 km) and we’d share reels and chat.

At one point he suggested a trip. We booked tickets and went together. Before the trip he repeatedly asked about my expectations and what I was looking for. He also told me we’d go as friends and decide later if we wanted to date.

The trip was confusing. We had agreed to do our own thing, but once we got there, he spent most of his time working, smoking, or doing his own thing. I ended up making friends and hanging out with other travelers. I started feeling unwanted and told him I might leave early. He said things like “this is why I prefer solo trips.”

There were also a couple of situations on the trip where I felt unsafe around other men. I felt like he was dismissive at times and I got triggered because I already have abandonment issues from past experiences. We ended up having an argument where I basically told him I didn’t think anything would happen between us because we barely talked and seemed to keep fighting.

The next day, while travelling back, I asked if he wanted to cuddle. We ended up cuddling and getting somewhat intimate. During that time he said things like “don’t do attachment stuff” and “no cute things,” but then he was also the one holding me tightly later. So that left me even more confused.

After the trip I asked him two direct questions: whether he felt weird about what happened between us and whether he regretted it.

He said he didn’t know and needed time to think about it. We later spoke a bit more and he said we could talk about it together.

A few weeks passed. We still exchanged occasional reels and small talk, but he never came back to the conversation. Eventually I followed up and asked if he had thought about it. He replied, “Evening let’s talk on call.”

That was yesterday.

The call never happened. No text. No update.

At this point, am I expecting too much? Am I reading too much into this? Or does this simply look like someone who is interested enough to keep the connection going but not interested enough to actually move it forward?