Scared of losing my degree...
I just need to vent somewhere because I've been carrying this anxiety for a long time.
I'm 31 and I had joined MBBS back in 2016. I passed all my MBBS exams and started my internship in 2022. I managed to complete around 2 months, but then I developed severe anxiety and depression and had to stop. I ended up taking treatment and what was supposed to be a break eventually became almost 4 years.
Now I'm finally trying to get back and finish what I started.
The State Medical Council has told me to pay the required fine and proceed with rejoining. My university has also told me to rejoin and complete the internship, but because of the unusually long gap there is still some confusion regarding the regulations and they may have to send my documents to NMC after I finish.
So technically I'm not rejected or anything. I'm actually being told to proceed.
But my brain keeps going:
"What if the college says no?"
"What if NMC says no later?"
"What if after spending so many years studying, I still don't get the degree?"
And honestly, that thought scares the shit out of me.
I'm 31 now. Most people from my batch have probably moved on with their lives, while I'm still trying to finish something I started almost a decade ago.
I also worry about what happens if MBBS doesn't work out. I don't need some crazy luxurious life. I just want a normal, comfortable life, hopefully upper-middle-class if possible. I already have a house and hopefully some family assets in the future, but I still need a career and income.
I've thought about government jobs, doing another degree, IT, business etc., but everything feels uncertain when you're starting over at 31.
I know objectively that my life wouldn't be "over" if I don't get the degree. But when you're actually sitting with this uncertainty, it feels like everything depends on this one thing.
Not really looking for legal advice here. I just wanted to put this somewhere and hear from people who may have gone through something similar.
Has anyone here had a major career or education setback in their late 20s or early 30s and managed to rebuild their life?
I could really use some perspective right now.