u/No_Independence8611

I was diagnosed with Lichen planus on 2010 and it was extensive in my legs for almost 4 years. I visited many doctors and no avail and finally it started fading away after 4 years.

Then it was fine for few years. Then again it came back in 2017, same story for 3 years. Then it faded away. Happy that it went away.

Then last week again I am seeing new lesions in my leg. It doesnt end does it? Also when I had it, it was extensive, and even going out in the sun and stress aggrevated it. My both legs and hands had lesions big massive ones.

I was talking to this person for over 2 years. He vanished from my life a couple of times for silly reasons. I thought maybe it is his way but did not realise he was an avoidant.

The biggest break came in last year when he vanished and I tried reaching out loosing my patience and he stopped responding to me fully. We were good friends but decided to date and see how things go so both liked each other( as far as I know). That is when he vanished out of the picture saying he had some stress at his work place( it was resolvable) but he chose not to and be stuck there and vanished from my life.

Fast forward 6 months later, after 6 months of no contact and wondering what I did wrong, I finally decided to wish him because he was a good friend. I never expected a reply, because he did not even wish for my birthday but then there he was messaged me saying you should not have messaged and we started talking again.

We spoke from good morning till goodnight. Everyboday around called it a situationship but there was nothing flirty or romantic just two goofy people comfortable with each other. He promised me that what he did was wrong and never will ever vanish again.

He was supposed to meet me but cancelled multiple times and finally when he decided to come secretly to surprise me he got stuck at a snow storm. I panicked and finally he reached a safe place, I tried to text him to see if he reached home safely and he vanished for 3 days. I became worried and mad because vanishing at such crucial time, made me question my sanity. Then he replied saying was just busy at work? Seriously

Then he vanished a couple of times but not major. Then we decided to take it further, but he was not ready to commit. So I felt I shold move on but he cried saying he liked me but he is in some problem that he could not commit and would commit to me in a couple of months after his birthday. I was fine with the wait. I never questioned him about why? What? How? But we were supposed to go out for icecream and he ditched me saying " i think i am holding you from other guys; probably if you want you can leave". I got angry and said are you mad? I decided to stay. Then he felt bad that he cancelled the plan. But I started spiralling after he confused me like this.

Then 2 months before his birthday he vanished. Before he vanished, he came to my house because i was feeling not too great (sick) and gave me icecream and food at night 12 after work.I was overthinking that he is moving away, but he assured me saying you are the one I am talking to after work everyday, how can you say that?. I would not vanish without giving a reason. The next day he vanished, knowing it will make me go into the spiral again.

I texted him no reply and he said i ll reply soon. Then no reply for a week. I texted again only to hear a replhy from him saying " I am actually feeling too great that is why I didnt mesaage". I understood him even then and said I can feel you are in some stress, text me when you are fine.

A week later, he promised me to help me with something before vanishing, he even got offended when I said I will do that by myself. I had a family emergency I had to go down to the hospital and I called texted him many times( probably I lost my mind this time). I called him so many times that was the mistake from my side. I texed him saying can you get that thing done for me I have an emerg someone dear to me is in the hospital and everybody is saying this might be the last time to see them. He said no, and I could not comprehend what happened because I would not be able to go down without getting that work done. I broke down, i texted him saying it is an emerg and called him again hoping if he hears me he might help me out. He blocked me and never unblocked till date( 2 months have passed).

I feel terrible. When I really thought he was the person. When I defended him to my family saying he will come clean after his birthday and we just have to give him time and understanding and space. Now I am bashed from all sides, my family and friends saying you always choose the wrong ones. I am reading recently about avoidant attachment and feel he might be one. But the pain of being that close from good morning till goodnight and going no contact killed me from inside out. I probably need therapy and I am so confused to even think if he really liked me?

Not to mention after that emerg incident i had my birthday in 2 weeks, he did not wish. My friend tried to reach him, he said I dont like talking about that and cut the call. His birthday passed 4 weeks after my birthday, I wished. I felt I dont need him back, but I spent almost every hour with this person in the past year and his birthday is a big deal for him and I should atleast wish him, but he did not respond( as expected). But it hurts me somewhere. How can someone go from you are my everything to throw them away like they mean nothing?

Is this how it feels with avoidants? Is he really an avoidant? What gave you closure guys? How should I deal with this?

I am looking for a study group for radio and cases for acj, if somone is in one of the group can you add me?

Or

We can create a group and post xrays and cases and discuss. I have a study partner but i just need a study group.

Thanks in advance.

Few questions

1. I need help with liner placement guys, any tips? And what do we do with a spoon excavator? Do we excavate the caries or imagine o do so

Also it is always on the occulusal surface close to the pulp and not the distal or mesial box?

2. while removing matrix, should we remove the wedge first? Because I see two school of thoughts?

Any tips for cpe ndaeb would be helpful thanks in advance

Just a yapping post. Working at the front desk is so draining for me. I work in the front and someday at the back too.

The pay: peanuts

The insurance coverage: a joke

The blame: its always me

I work full-time at an office that has employees who works on specific days like 2 da working different days each, 2 hygienist seperate days again and 1 dentist. I am the common link. They have not seen each other before( some employees). We have 2 offices, one in another location.

I am the constant one in this office and I work different times at different days but start at 8.30 am. The longest being Tuesday end at 6.30 pm, thursday 7.30pm(11 HOURS). Other days are manageable till 5.30 and so on. I open the office, start the steri, set up the rooms, set up hygiene kits for the day and patients start flowing around 10 to 11. Fixed hours.

Now the issue

1. I shouldn't schedule too early like before 10( the hygienist will yell at me), if I schedule later and continue till 6.00 the dentist will shout at me because she couldn't stay late. If I limit scheduling to 4 to 5 patients, I get yelled by the dentist again. Great life and in between that the patient's keep canceling the last minute and are sometimes rude.
2. I had an upset stomach and I had severe stomach pain, I came to the office and 2as working for few hours and knew that had to rush to the walk in clinic( I dnt have a family physician here recently moved here). I end up calling the dentist to inform here, she says okay go to the walk in clinic and come back to the office to work. Also she said you need to call the assistant hygienist or someone so that they can come in and then you can leave. I ended up getting out after 1 hour and literally was throwing up in the washroom the whole hour.
3. the next day I call in sick through message and no reply 🙃 I should assume things and when I showed up for work I was yelled at for not informing sick off before few weeks( I mean wth?)
4. the patients keep canceling and not wanting to book back for resto, my dentist wouldn't show up on hygiene days if she doesnt feel like it and end up missing recall and starts yelling at me for not bringing in patients. One day I got irritated and spoke up saying in the past 4 weeks you only gave me 3 patients and how am I able to fill in the whole month with that? She got angry and said I am the employer how dare you blame me? ( again wth)
5. even if the patient's are done at 3 or 4 I have to stay until 7.30 pm and do what exactly? Schedule fill up the spots. You can only call a patient a set of times if they don't attend it's harassment basically. Yes and I get blamed for that again. I wrote the patient's treatment calling responses on a paper and gave it to her to see that free time will not always convert to cases.
6. im studying on the side I am an internationally trained dentist who did my assistant licensing boards and harp to work. She hates me studying, she is an itd too, she says u r loosing focus on work just coz u r studying and she doesnt even give me 2 hours time off in the morning to book my exam seats, she said productivity is important and I cant loose it and if u want try it from here with this broken internet if u get it fine if not also fine. Its an exam not the end of the world.

She said if you fail give the exam 2nd time. Doesn't matter. Such rude behaviour. I said I will quit; she said are you a quitter? Even if you fail your exams will you quit?

7. now the cherry on top 🍒, the hygienist and assistants keep lossing some small parts or instruments in the garbage and she calls me to check it. Once it was fine (( not fine but still i had no choice)) i had to go through the garbage pile for the previous week too with blood stained guaze saliva and every damn disgusting thing to find a very teeny tiny piece of an airmotor. No thanks nothing.

But it happened again the following month, this time I got irritated and opposed and so she asked the assistant to do it and also me. I helped the assistant becoz she had no clue what she was looking for. It was a small broken same loose piece and lost by the same person. After finding it again not even a single thanks, got yelled at again for not taking picture of tha part in the garbage to send it to the person who lost it. I mean wth?

I opposed it strongly I said i cant do search every month. Let that person search and she will be careful next time onwards. Both hygienist said they never lost it. At the end I am the one searching. She advised me for hours to make me accept to check next time, i firmly said no. It pissed her off.

8. i coordinate between all employees , it's so frustrating. One blames the other, other blames the other drama. No one helps me in the front. I have to help everyone at the back. Great.

9. got yelled at for previous front desks mistakes on insurances.

10. we have been running out of stock for toothbrush floss and paste for so long. Finally ordered everything and she said dispose it off to patients. Finally when I have a bag to hygienist to restock got yelled at. This is ur responsibilities how many did u give? How did u give? It will be gone soon( omg unbelievable)

I work front end, back end, and coordinate between all employees. Coordinate with patients, insurance error, do the payments, ordering, stock maintaining, garbage disposal, and get blamed at and yelled at for everything.

I resigned finally. One day if I become a dentist I will try to treat other people better and not treat them like I have two horns on my head.

Just a yapping post. Working at the front desk is so draining for me. I work in the front and someday at the back too.

The pay: peanuts

The insurance coverage: a joke

The blame: its always me

I work full-time at an office that has employees who works on specific days like 2 da working different days each, 2 hygienist seperate days again and 1 dentist. I am the common link. They have not seen each other before( some employees). We have 2 offices, one in another location.

I am the constant one in this office and I work different times at different days but start at 8.30 am. The longest being Tuesday end at 6.30 pm, thursday 7.30pm(11 HOURS). Other days are manageable till 5.30 and so on. I open the office, start the steri, set up the rooms, set up hygiene kits for the day and patients start flowing around 10 to 11. Fixed hours.

Now the issue

1. I shouldn't schedule too early like before 10( the hygienist will yell at me), if I schedule later and continue till 6.00 the dentist will shout at me because she couldn't stay late. If I limit scheduling to 4 to 5 patients, I get yelled by the dentist again. Great life and in between that the patient's keep canceling the last minute and are sometimes rude.

2. I had an upset stomach and I had severe stomach pain, I came to the office and 2as working for few hours and knew that had to rush to the walk in clinic( I dnt have a family physician here recently moved here). I end up calling the dentist to inform here, she says okay go to the walk in clinic and come back to the office to work. Also she said you need to call the assistant hygienist or someone so that they can come in and then you can leave. I ended up getting out after 1 hour and literally was throwing up in the washroom the whole hour.

3. the next day I call in sick through message and no reply 🙃 I should assume things and when I showed up for work I was yelled at for not informing sick off before few weeks( I mean wth?)

4. the patients keep canceling and not wanting to book back for resto, my dentist wouldn't show up on hygiene days if she doesnt feel like it and end up missing recall and starts yelling at me for not bringing in patients. One day I got irritated and spoke up saying in the past 4 weeks you only gave me 3 patients and how am I able to fill in the whole month with that? She got angry and said I am the employer how dare you blame me? ( again wth)

5. even if the patient's are done at 3 or 4 I have to stay until 7.30 pm and do what exactly? Schedule fill up the spots. You can only call a patient a set of times if they don't attend it's harassment basically. Yes and I get blamed for that again. I wrote the patient's treatment calling responses on a paper and gave it to her to see that free time will not always convert to cases.

6. im studying on the side I am an internationally trained dentist who did my assistant licensing boards and harp to work. She hates me studying, she is an itd too, she says u r loosing focus on work just coz u r studying and she doesnt even give me 2 hours time off in the morning to book my exam seats, she said productivity is important and I cant loose it and if u want try it from here with this broken internet if u get it fine if not also fine. Its an exam not the end of the world.

She said if you fail give the exam 2nd time. Doesn't matter. Such rude behaviour. I said I will quit; she said are you a quitter? Even if you fail your exams will you quit?

7. now the cherry on top 🍒, the hygienist and assistants keep lossing some small parts or instruments in the garbage and she calls me to check it. Once it was fine (( not fine but still i had no choice)) i had to go through the garbage pile for the previous week too with blood stained guaze saliva and every damn disgusting thing to find a very teeny tiny piece of an airmotor. No thanks nothing.

But it happened again the following month, this time I got irritated and opposed and so she asked the assistant to do it and also me. I helped the assistant becoz she had no clue what she was looking for. It was a small broken same loose piece and lost by the same person. After finding it again not even a single thanks, got yelled at again for not taking picture of tha part in the garbage to send it to the person who lost it. I mean wth?

I opposed it strongly I said i cant do search every month. Let that person search and she will be careful next time onwards. Both hygienist said they never lost it. At the end I am the one searching. She advised me for hours to make me accept to check next time, i firmly said no. It pissed her off.

8. i coordinate between all employees , it's so frustrating. One blames the other, other blames the other drama. No one helps me in the front. I have to help everyone at the back. Great.

9. got yelled at for previous front desks mistakes on insurances.

10. we have been running out of stock for toothbrush floss and paste for so long. Finally ordered everything and she said dispose it off to patients. Finally when I have a bag to hygienist to restock got yelled at. This is ur responsibilities how many did u give? How did u give? It will be gone soon( omg unbelievable)

I work front end, back end, and coordinate between all employees. Coordinate with patients, insurance error, do the payments, ordering, stock maintaining, garbage disposal, and get blamed at and yelled at for everything.

I resigned finally. One day if I become a dentist I will try to treat other people better and not treat them like I have two horns on my head.

​

I need a study partner for acj nov 2026. I joined a preparation course.

Guys please give your inputs.

Its more of a rant. A little about me; ITD worked at public health canada and figured my heart was with dentistry.

Did harp and dental assistant licensing exams and working for almost 2 years. This is my second office because I moved places, my main duty is front desk most days and in specific days I do both the front and the back; no complaints. Also have around just 1 and a half years of experience working as a dentist back in India; because I was doing my NEET PG; got an AIR 900 and got a oral surgery seat but covid hit so came to Canada and did my masters. I even got an AIR of 200 in AIIMS (INICET)

Decided to start my licensing; started prep on Nov 2025; cleared AFK in FEb 2026. Got a seat for nov 2026 ACJ. Also I work from 8.30 till 7.30, on most days full time; while preparing for my exams. Im single don't have anybody to support or help so I am working getting the money and pouring it for my studies.

Little about my dentist, itd too and did it through uni route when the direct licensing just started so she never even considered that and doesnt know the struggles.

Now the crux, the dentist I am working with encouraged me to take the uni route; which I am going to give next year April Adat( due to personal reasons). I thought why not try the direct licensing in the mean time. She is not at all supportive. I had to fight with her for over 3 weeks literally 3 weeks to get a time off just to book my acj exam. I only asked for a few hours off; she said she cant loose productivity because of that.

She said you are very very negative; you are thinking too much; she asked me to do that from the office laptop and internet. I was considering that and ran the speed test and guess what the internet crashed next day at 10.20 am. It was a big no from me. She asked me to do it from the office and attend calls and book patients while I was in line for booking my ACJ seat. I literally had to fight. She again said you are too negative and thinking too much and said what if while booking a seat the computer crashes. I felt it was rude and demeaning.

I was already stressed on the day of my exams and this was added pressure. Finally I got a seat and told her today happily. She was not happy at all, she said I dnt knw why people go for this. You don't even have experience. I said I will try the uni route too and also the bridging program. She said it is just a pilot program and not worth it lot of issues. She was not pleased or happy.

I am just feeling lost, discouraged and feeling is it even worth it?

Please give me your inputs guys. Also can I study full time and do Acj like this? Everytime it comes up she is very mean and rude. I feel in order to add to the 101 problems we go through for our licensing exams, hearing demeaning words from my dentist is just discouraging me a lot. Feeling is it worth it or should I go through just direct licensing? I am lost guys