u/No_Strength8066

Hi! I'm brand new to song writing! I've only wrote one song so far but this is my next one! My first one was about a 'goddess of the sun' it's actually a metaphor of rape. I thought I'd do one about addiction maybe? It's kind of punk rock. I really love that style and the style of Penelope Scott's music.

So here we go :D

(Calm bit)

Take your pot

Roll it up tight

Turn off the lights

Though you won't sleep tonight

No not tonight

Take your sleeve

Put it to your painted creases

Your eyes, your lips

A blue so deep you want to sleep

(Screaming bit)

But you can't

You're strapped inside a narcan hole you're not willing to climb

Your supply is running low you really gotta go

Be willing to climb

Get me out of here

Get me out of here

(fading)

Get me out of here

Get me out of here

(then climb)

(Normal guitar, speaking at the start)

But darling, those weights in your shoes.

(Raspy speaking)

I can't move.

(Screaming bit)

Quite yet

Give me more time

(Calm, sad)

Give me more time.

(Laughing leering voice, fading into the background as the song ends)

You don't have more time junky!

Hi Reddit! I'm Gracie (13) and my friend who I'll call B (13) recently made loads of allegations about me and I feel so guilty.

A couple weeks ago after I had gone to an after-school club, I got a text on the group chat saying 'Everyone, Gracie has been SA'ing me for months and I'm sick of it. You're disgusting and I'm leaving the GC.'

I literally threw up as I was walking out of school. This was totally out of the blue, he was normal all day and we were messing around like always. For context, me and B mess around a lot and are very dirty but it's double sided. We have inside jokes about it and everything. He never said he was uncomfortable or seemed bothered. That day was no different.

Immediately, I tried to text him and call him repeatedly but he had blocked me. I tried to text my other friends but only one would respond and give me support.

I have ADHD so I'm not sure if I just missed out on signs and was so sick that night my mam thought I had a stomach bug. I thought everyone hated me as my other friends blocked me soon after.

The day after at school I was shaking so bad and felt so sick. I never cry, I'm a hyper kid and very expressive but I NEVER CRY. I burst into the classroom to see my friend with some other girls from the class. They all turned to look at me and parted like some sort of movie scene. My friend was very stern and angry. I walked up to him and immediately started apologising and broke down. I sobbed so hard because I love him so much. I felt so lied to but also felt guilty as I thought I was at fault.

He just smirked (this might be a nervous thing so I didn't really mind it but it still made me feel small) and told me he was sick of my shit and didn't want to be friends anymore. I was literally devastated and confused and so so angry. The guilt was unbearable.

Somehow we made up but that just keeps replaying in my head. It's all over but I still feel sick and guilty and as if I'm trodding on eggshells around him. I confronted him about this a couple days ago and we got into another argument. I'm contemplating just not being friends anymore.

But honestly. AITAH?

**This is kinda a vent of everything going on rn.**

**Love:**

**Hi, I'm 13 (f) and I am in love with my best friend B (trans m). It's not fair. I have asked jokingly before and he said he liked me at the start of the school year. I'm demi so I start having feelings with my friends and the time and I've learned to ignore it but it's way different this time and I feel sick to my stomach writing this. I really want to be able to call him my boyfriend. I'm lesbian and the struggle with romance is real. I never have crushes on people who reciprocate my feelings. I feel crushed.**

**SUICIDAL THOUGHTS WARNING**

**Thoughts:**

**I have really bad thoughts sometimes and I don't sleep anymore. I sleep at most 3 hours a night. I have massive dark circles that go down my cheeks. I get made fun of all the time because of my weight. I am 62kg which I know isn't healthy and I'm trying so hard to lose weight but no matter how much I don't eat it doesn't help.**

**I'm sick of my life already and I'm barely even a teenager.**

**I self harm sometimes too. Music is my escape so when I'm really overwhelmed and feel like cutting I put on my headphones instead.**

**Friend help:**

**My same friend B has self harmed for a while and it's overwhelming me so much. I want to help them so bad but I'm so scared of being clingy and losing him because if I lose him I can't save him from his mind.**

**Arguments:**

**I'm very touchy and dirty-minded. B is too. We had an argument 2 weeks ago. He texted the GC saying he thought I was disgusting and had been sexual assualting me and blocked me.**

**I honestly thought it was a 'distance myself and kill myself' text and I panicked so bad and cried all night. I don't cry a lot, I'm very jokey but don't cry ever. I went to school the next morning and was yelled at by my class who had been told. I cried then too. I thought my life was over.**

**I'm not naive at all but I honestly feel very much so right now.**

**We had since made up but I feel uneasy around him. As if I am walking on egg shells.**

**I have changed my entire personality since. I am quieter and less jokey. I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me at all.**

**Body:**

**I really hate my body. I hate my boobs and everything. Just everything. My stomach is so big and disgusting. I am not even fat, slightly overweight. I am 5kg over my preferred weight. I joke about my weight so much but I secretly wish B would just ask me if I was okay for once.**

**My stepmam is going to get me a sports bra to help with the boobs but it still won't be enough.**

**Anxiety and feeling sick:**

**I have really bad anxiety about throwing up, it's all I think about every day and every second. I feel sick literally 24/7. It started on 3/12/24 and I am so drained.**

**How it started; a kid called Jackson threw up on the table next to me and ever since then my body is in constant fight or flight. I have panic attacks every time someone throws up. These last days and make me feel even more sick than I usually do. My dad calls me an attention seeker.**

**Seizures??**

**I have these random times where my stomach drops and I zone out for a second. As I said I don't sleep much so could that cause seizures?**

**I swear, I just had one right now as I'm writing this.**

Hi! This is what I've got so far, it's a verse so not that much.

The crumbled post-it on the side resembles my not so stable mind

The world drifts so far away sometimes it's hard to say

Alright

But I must keep moving

And I must keep sailing

This riveting sea inside me

Hi! I came up with this song a couple months ago and have the 2nd verse onwards and choruses done but can't figure out the rest, any ideas?

Daughter of the sun, daughter of the son

Eternal lovely maiden

Daughter of the son

Made to wear that band

But lost it on day one

Daughter of the sun, Daughter of the sun

With skin like bronze

And guarded by a mace

I grew up in the gates of this ancient place

Never daring the look away

From this state that you made

The danger lurks in the dark

I don't have a place to disembark

From this torturous game

Wish I could sail away.

Daughter of the sun, daughter of my son

Eternal lovely maiden

Daughter of the sun

Made to be loved

But was broken on day one

Daughter of my son daughter of the sun

Tangled secrets spoken from the maid

Telling me what was meant to be laid

In the heart of my tome

Alongside this broken rule

Daughter of the sun daughter of the sun

Dear goddess

Daughter, son

I wish you were loved

But the pieces of my heart

Are torn too far apart

I don't even know. It's not grief. More grief for a broken friendship. I know it will never be the same. I wish it was the same. I want to start over. I want to die and start over. I feel useless and guilty. Like any second something will send me ove the edge.

I'm done. I'm a horrible person. I want to stay over. I want to be reincarnated as a beetle or something. I want to feel something other than guilt. My only friend and I have had a fight. We made up but the guilt is still there. I'm still blocked. I don't want to be clingy. I just need someone so desperately. I want someone who depends on me and I can depend on them. I don't know what to do anymore. I think it's better if I just died. Nothing is the same anymore. I have this feeling in my gut and I think it's guilt or being uncomfortable with something. I'm so confused. I've started self harm again. I'm just done. No one likes me. I'm a bully. I didn't even realise that my own friend didn't like me.

I'm quite a dirty-minded person, so is my friend so we do weird things sometimes. We both do this. I'm not bothered, I find it funny and I thought my friend did too. Until today. I got home to a message on the group chat saying they thought I was disgusting and we're leaving and didn't want to talk to me again. I threw up at that message. Then, I tried to text them. Blocked. I tried to text my other friends. Blocked. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm seeing them tomorrow and I know there's going be a massive argument. I'm so tired of this. I'm crying on my bathroom floor trying to text them and figure out how to unblock myself. I'm so scared. They're my only friends and I've been alone before. I know I'm not going to win it's 1 v 3. I thought be were friends for life.