u/Nonrelative_

My ex (29M) and I were in a long-distance relationship. He has ADHD, which often impacted how he managed stress. Recently, my mother became severely ill, and I had to focus entirely on taking care of her, I was sad and asked often more support on his end. Shortly after this crisis started, right before a weekend we were supposed to spend together, he broke up with me over a phone call.
His reason was that he felt he "couldn't satisfy me," despite me telling him the exact opposite and offering to work through things and repair the relationship. He was completely unyielding, and his final words to me on the call were: "The breakup already started two minutes ago."
To protect my mental health while dealing with my mom’s illness, I immediately blocked his Instagram account. A bit later, he changed his profile from private to public. In a moment of pain and weakness, I unblocked him and checked his stories.
He noticed my views and reacted by blocking my specific account from viewing his stories. Additionally, mutual friends from his social circle, whom I knew prior to the relationship, have recently stopped interacting with my professional social media accounts.
I am struggling to process this. He was the one who firmly decided to end the relationship, so I don't understand why he is actively managing who sees his stories or reacting to my presence. I am already under immense stress due to my mother's health, and trying to decode his final words and these digital actions is draining the little energy I have left. I can’t stop :( seems like OCD.
How can I mentally step away from this and just focus on what matters?

My ex (29M) and I were in a long-distance relationship. He has ADHD, which often impacted how he managed stress. Recently, my mother became severely ill, and I had to focus entirely on taking care of her, I was sad and asked often more support on his end. Shortly after this crisis started, right before a weekend we were supposed to spend together, he broke up with me over a phone call.
His reason was that he felt he "couldn't satisfy me," despite me telling him the exact opposite and offering to work through things and repair the relationship. He was completely unyielding, and his final words to me on the call were: "The breakup already started two minutes ago."
To protect my mental health while dealing with my mom’s illness, I immediately blocked his Instagram account. A bit later, he changed his profile from private to public. In a moment of pain and weakness, I unblocked him and checked his stories.
He noticed my views and reacted by blocking my specific account from viewing his stories. Additionally, mutual friends from his social circle, whom I knew prior to the relationship, have recently stopped interacting with my professional social media accounts.
I am struggling to process this. He was the one who firmly decided to end the relationship, so I don't understand why he is actively managing who sees his stories or reacting to my presence. I am already under immense stress due to my mother's health, and trying to decode his final words and these digital actions is draining the little energy I have left. I can’t stop :( seems like OCD.
How can I mentally step away from this and just focus on what matters?

I need to vent. I'm a Portuguese woman with generalized anxiety disorder. I'm the main carer for my mother (who was recently discharged from hospital) and I work as a freelancer, under huge financial pressure.

About a month ago, I started a long-distance relationship with a Polish man who is neurodivergent, had never been in a relationship before, and is currently in therapy. In person, he was affectionate and attentive. At a distance, everything was harder. I needed words, affection, to feel that he thought of me. He had immense difficulty verbalizing emotions.

The crisis began on the day we completed one month together. I expected a small gesture, a message. He mentioned the milestone to his brother and to a friend, but said nothing to me. When I confronted him with my hurt, he reacted with coldness. He said celebrating one month "is a secondary school thing," that he was "obviously busy" at an event in Berlin. He twisted an observation I made about photos to make me seem jealous. While I was crying, he said "Jesus fucking Christ." In another conversation, when I shared that I missed him, he replied "Oh, for fuck's sake." He used an insecurity I had expressed after we were intimate against me.

In the days that followed, he retreated into silence. I told him that silence hurt me. He remained silent. I gave him a strategy: at 10:30 PM, one of us would call. He didn't call. I asked him to communicate if he needed space. He didn't. I called him once and he rejected the call because he was "at church."

Last week, he had still planned to come to Portugal to see me. But yesterday, over a video call, he ended everything. During the conversation, he listed all my flaws. He said it was better to end things "on a high" rather than on a low, that we should "be grateful it was only a month." I tried to find solutions, I accepted repairing whatever was needed — but he didn't want to. He really wanted to end it.

He broke up with me over a video call, after days of silence, after I had given everything I could. I feel devastated, humiliated, exhausted. I feel like the little I asked for was too much for him. I don't have thoughts of harming myself, but the pain is immense. I needed to vent and to hear that I'm not a monster for asking for love.