u/Notcommentmuch

Anhedonia - is the inability or reduced ability to experience pleasure from activities that are normally enjoyable.

I will keep this part brief: M76, 4 years ago I lost my husband of 40 years to a spinal cord aneurism. Lucid, coma (no visits - covid), 4 days... think Stephen Hawking - literally the ICU Dr. said that to me over the phone, DNR, end of life visit.  If you are a member of this sub, you have your own version of the same crappy story. All that and I feel *fantastic*!

Without a word of a lie, some form of veil is lifting and letting in light.   Up until three months ago I was well on  my way to being a recluse.   Hey, 5 days in detox (1.5 years ago) helped a lot but I  still craved isolation.   

Here is the meat of the changes I am experiencing right now as I write this posting.    

**House** \- I have a let my house go. Nothing major.  Leaky faucet... use the other sink. That sort of thing.  The cleaning lady keeps it clean.  I just lost interest.   
I have hired a handy man and made of list of 9 items that I want addressed.  Hell, I plan to live here for at at least the next 7 years i May as well have it working properly.

**Work** \- I volunteered for 5 years at our local hospital ER. Then stopped for 4 years (guess why?). 
I have been retrained and yesterday was my first day back.  I love it.  I am needed, not invisible.  

**Reading** \- I went from 1 book a week to zero.  
I just signed up to Kindle unlimited and want to read again not watch short attention span YouTube.  

**Writing** \- I thurely enjoyed writing short stories. Then I just lost interest.  
This document that you are reading is my second multi hundred word document i have written in 4 years.  Quick email or (god forbid) text sure, but the joy was gone. And now it is back.  

**Dog** \- Brodie - He saved my life. Plain and simple.  My favored sister stayed at with me thru really bad roller-coaster that Gary's death initiated. Multi week long visits, each time bringing her 10 year old, fully trained, "head turningly gorgeous"  Morkie lapdog (Yorkshire/Maltese).  *She gifted me her dog*. I remember verbatim her saying "you need him more than I do".  Man, was she right.  Hell of a sister eh?

I close this post with tears in my eyes.  I want you 'newbies' in this sub to read: your mental health will get better.  I want to convey to the 2 -3 year crowd that: Hell I don't know...  I just remember that the 2nd year was a bitch.  

Love and support to each and everyone who, like me, was forced into this awful, awful reality.  

Notcommentmuch

Edit: I should tell you that our 44th anniversary was 6 months ago. It sparked me to get off my emotional ass and get going. This is my start. I am proud of myself.

What happened to the script command... everything is one big paragraph.

Like you i have been annoyed at rogers along time. MY SOLUTION

I called the 3771 help line 7 minutes wait.

GET A PERSON!! that is critical, you can only upgrade online, not reduce. Screw Anna!

I actually am pleased with rogers. (my husband died) and i removed all all of his TV's & computers. I do not like them. I want to keep my cell phone and email. (that worked). not a total removal.

I got him to a point where he said he could suspend or cancel. it took him 47 minutes from the time he said that to confirming the cancellations from my account. multiple, multiple wait requests. i told him: Hey, i am 76 and I will wait for you until my battery dies or i do.

I managed a call centre and know the drill ... they have a script.. get to know the person on the phone, somehow (mine was a rogers employee in northern India, I asked if he lived near Kalara (looked it up while on hold). he talked!

There is a sales adage 'People buy from people'. As a tech support person (M76 - MSA, CA, SAP) I worked more throurghly for people I liked over the phone.

Reduced rogers by $161/month. kept rogers phone and email.

replaced rogers with Telmax wireless for $41/month. No TV viewing. I only watch youtube and tubi.

i consider this a success!

Notcommentmuch

I almost thrive on my time in Emerg. I find it immensely rewarding and that feeling lasts for days. Also, I find that it makes me feel relevant which is something that can slip away if you let it. I have been there for 5 years. It is a bright, noisy, and confusing place and as close to medicine as I will ever get; without any of the responsibility!

Along with the physical tasks: wheelchairs, blankets, pillows, and stocking the nurses' stations there are situations that experience makes me keep an eye out for:

• Alone mothers with a sick baby and a 3-year-old, who is bored and miserable. Can you imagine that? - car

• Our older wheelchairs can become extremely uncomfortable after 20 minutes as the plastic seat has stretched and the patient is sitting on support struts. Some older people will suffer in silence (not all of them) - pillow (when available)

• Wait room chairs directly in line with the A/C vents - a warm blanket

• People vomiting into kitchen pots or grocery bags. - a fresh warm washcloth with a box of Kleenex and one of our vomit buckets

• Bewildered people (looking for the exit, washroom or their parent, - find them via computer, there can be about 75 patents flowing thru our ER a one time, certainly not Sunnybrook, but we hold our own.

• Elderly with no caregiver - make sure they know they are not alone and offer a cup of tea, maybe a muffin.

• Angry people – nope, not me

• People in handcuffs - none of my business

We get a small supply of toys for the kids. I don't like most of them so I buy my own at Walmart. I get about 20 X $1.95 Hot Wheels cars a month. I pick ones that I would like, but with lots of colour. Unless the kid is in pain, the packaged cars work absolute wonders on toddlers (we have animal stickers too, little girls just love them). Usually, everything they are feeling stops when they see the car. The car has their complete attention. I ask for permission (one lady reused) then give the toy to them (or to mum if they are shy). I tell the parent that the trick is to get the kid to open the packaging themselves. I say to the parent. “Just that'll keep them busy for at least 10 minutes”.

As I progress through my shift (4 hrs/week) I see the kids sitting playing quietly with the car. Many times I have seen little boys on their dad's lap driving the car over their dad's chest. I think seeing those tender moments in such an intense environment is why I buy cars.

I volunteer in our ER, we have our issues with frequent flyers as well. Our situation up here in Canada is not as dire as it seems to be in your neck of the woods.

Our care is not free. We pay for it 100% by taxes. It makes us feel good to see our taxes at work for ‘the great unwashed’.

As a Canuck, I have paid $ for heath care twice in my life time. 1) semi private room $170/day, small in office procedure $25. That is it!

M76 - I consider my self in excellent condition. A fast synopsis:
* Multiple,multiple in house Dr. visits: $0. (I am 76, take a guess?)
*Pulmonary Edema - 1 in each lung (lucky me). Like breathing thru a straw. Drove to the ER???. ER + 5 days: $0. Oh yea, I had to pay $17 parking cause I drove rather than bother with an ambulance.
*Ruptured Appendix- ambulance, ER, surgery, post-op blockage, 10 days: $0.

I hate to tell ya but all meds for under 25 or over 65 costs the patient $4.11 per script. Period.
I have covered (65) dental care. Cost me $200 for a crown.

I feel having care available with no out of pocket, supports preventative care.

Not perfect but it works. I had to wait 3 months for covered cataract surgery. For $0. Big deal.

I am four years in and this is a short story about the man I loved, to the moon and back, and 2 specific items he did for me from his grave. Actually, my backyard flows directly onto a fenceless small golf course. I spread his ashes in a specific place close enough to yell at him if I have to. I say "I love you every day" Sorry about the title of this post but I wanted to get your attention. I trust that you will find it worth the 2 minutes it takes to read.

M76 - My husband died in my arms, quite literally. I kept every thing in in the house the same. Again literally. I am not the technology person. He was. I am more of a press every button type. Gary was an advanced low level programmer at AT&T for 35 years. Never in Management. Great pension. We kept out money separate. His pension allowed him all the gadgets he wanted. It was his money. Cars and house paid for .. Kock yourself out. He loved it. External cameras every where, Alexa and Google Home in the same room(s).

Item # 1 - Fast forward 2 years and my laptop stopped, dead.. Would not boot. I was completely euchred. Sitting in my kitchen was a $1500 Surface Pro i9 that Gary used for 'rendering' movies. I had played with it enough to recognize that it used its camera to identify me. I disconnected it and brought to my desk. It reboots and auto logons link to everything. He had set that machine to mirror my laptop. All of my data, desktop, passwords, the whole shebang was there. Ready to use. That impressed the hell outta me. Thanks Gary.

Item # 2 - This item is the impetus for this posting. I am writing this post on his beloved Surface Pro , four years after his death. This evening for a lark, I signed on to Gary's Windows account (No face but I know all his passwords) and of course I have access to everything. I found his stash of 885- 4k movies. Decades of our favorites in front of me. I had given them up for lost in the convoluted mase of equipment in his computer room down stairs. Oh yea... the big TV broke and I had to replace it with one of the other 4 TV's in the house. That is when I lost all his movies.

Writing this post makes me happy. I reinforces to me, that I was in his every thought. Thanks.

Notcommentmuch

Anhedonia - is the inability or reduced ability to experience pleasure from activities that are normally enjoyable.

I will keep this part brief: M76, 4 years ago I lost my husband of 40 years to a spinal cord aneurism. Lucid, coma (no visits - covid), 4 days... think Stephen Hawking - literally the ICU Dr. said that to me over the phone, DNR, end of life visit.  If you are a member of this sub, you have your own version of the same crappy story. All that and I feel fantastic!

Without a word of a lie, some form of veil is lifting and letting in the light.   Up until three months ago I was well on  my way to being a recluse.   Hey, 5 days in detox (1.5 years ago) helped a lot but I  still craved isolation.   

Here is the meat of the changes I am experiencing right now as I write this posting.    

House - I have a let my house go. Nothing major.  Leaky faucet... use the other sink. That sort of thing.  The cleaning lady keeps it clean.  I just lost interest.   
I have hired a handy man and made of list of 9 items that I want addressed.  Hell, I plan to live here for at at least the next 7 years i May as well have it working properly.

Work - I volunteered for 5 years at our local hospital ER. Then stopped for 4 years (guess why?). 
I have been retrained and yesterday was my first day back.  I love it.  I am needed, not invisible.  

Reading - I went from 1 book a week to zero.  
I just signed up to Kindle unlimited and want to read again not watch short attention span YouTube.  

Writing - I thurely enjoyed writing short stories. Then I just lost interest.  
This document that you are reading is my second multi hundred word document i have written in 4 years.  Quick email or (god forbid) text sure, but the joy was gone. And now it is back.  

Dog - Brodie - He saved my life. Plain and simple.  My favored sister stayed at with me thru really bad roller-coaster that Gary's death initiated. Multi week long visits, each time bringing her 10 year old, fully trained, "head turningly gorgeous"  Morkie lapdog (Yorkshire/Maltese).  She gifted me her dog. I remember verbatim her saying "you need him more than I do".  Man, was she right.  Hell of a sister eh?

I close this post with tears in my eyes.  I want you 'newbies' in this sub to read: your mental health will get better.  I want to convey to the 2 -3 year crowd that: Hell I don't know...  I just remember that the 2nd year was a bitch.  

Love and support to each and everyone who, like me, was forced into this awful, awful reality.  

Notcommentmuch

As a pure Anglophone, I was learning French on the job in Quebec. My work mates helped me tremendously. I had learned a lot of words but my pronunciation awful. They told me that to their ear English is very chopped almost harsh. While French is more fluid. Try elongated your French words to sound more natural.
After lunch we returned to the corporate offices. Walking past the receptionist, instead of saying Salute, I elongated it to ‘saloooh’. She physically reacted as if insulted. Then I heard the reactions of my lunch mates behind me. You just called her a pig! Wait about 3 seconds, then we all had a great laugh.

As a pure Anglophone, I was learning French on the job in Quebec. My work mates helped me tremendously. I had learned a lot of words but my pronunciation awful. They told me that to their ear English is very chopped almost harsh. While French is more fluid. Try elongated your French words to sound more natural.
After lunch we returned to the corporate offices. Walking past the receptionist, instead of saying Salute, I elongated it to ‘saloooh’. She physically reacted as if insulted. Then I heard the reactions of my lunch mates behind me. You just called her a pig! Wait about 3 seconds, then we all had a great laugh.