u/Numerous_Bicycle_445

I don't know how to start this, but my dog just died right now. I'm Male, 16 years old, and still fairly new to Reddit. My puppy, Osito, is a male Shih Tzu Poodle mix and over a year old, and he got run over by a car, and I wasn't there to witness it. We got him about a year ago. I was suffering from severe mental illness and depression, so my family decided to get a dog. If I'm going to be honest, he was the ONLY good thing to have ever happened to my life. I don't have the best home life; I don't have a good relationship with my family, and my friends and I have been really disconnected lately, along with other stuff in my life that has been really shit. Osito was the only good thing God allowed me to keep. He was really soft; I'd cuddle with him a lot to make me feel better. I'd kiss his forehead a lot, I'd take him on walks, I'd bathe him, I'd rub his belly, I gave him plenty of kisses. Today I was really tired; I woke up at like 10, since it was the summer. I went downstairs to check up on my dog, and I was still so very tired, so I went to sleep on the couch. He climbed up to try and wake me up, letting me know that he wanted to go to the bathroom. I really didn't want to walk him, so I let the door open so that he would go pee and poo in the bushes. I've done it a couple of times, and he'd always come back home safe. Sometimes I would whistle or call his name; sometimes I would do nothing, and he'd still come home regardless. Just know that I'm home alone, and my family, who lives with me, went off to work. He came back home the first time; I closed the door, and we relaxed. He stood by the door again, signaling to me that he wanted to go use the bathroom again, so I left the door open, and he went. This time he took longer than usual, and I went out to go find him. I live in an apartment complex, btw, with a patio and pool. I couldn't find him around the area of my apartment complex, so I went outside to the streets in a panic. He'd never gone outside before; he was always too scared to. Sorry if I'm not explaining this correctly; it's kinda hard to explain physically to give a vision of what it looked like. Also, I'm not revising this; I'm sending this the way it is. I ran out to the street, and on the other side of the road I saw a group of people right outside their house aiding my motionless puppy. I struggled really hard; I didn't know what to do. I sat on the curb as they came for me. My sister, who got off work to come see this. I won't go into full detail or explain this particular moment fully because it's going to take longer for me to write. Anyway, they put him in a box with a blanket, and for the first time in 2 years, I've started crying. I've been emotionally numb for the past couple of years due to abuse and many other experiences that have hardened me to become emotionless. After a while, my sister, her friend, and I decided to go back to our apartment, saying our last goodbyes. I locked myself in the bathroom so I could cry properly alone. Right now, I'm in my room, with Osito and his stiffing body, glancing at him, dreading everything, feeling extremely guilty, feeling like a major piece of shit. I'm just so hurt by the life I couldn't have given him, the life I should've given him, but it's too late. He could still be alive if we hadn't gotten, living a better life someplace else. I ruined him; it's my fault. He was the victim not me. I destroyed everything. My mom still hasn't come home from work; I don't live with my father anymore, in case you're wondering. He was so helpless, and I destroyed this poor thing's life, but that's it tho, he's not a thing, he was a real living breathing being with emotions. When I was crying on the curb, the people who were with me kept on saying that this kind of stuff always happens, and that I'm being irrational with what I'm saying, like as if they didn't care about him, like he was just a replaceable thing. It was like they were saying, fuck how scared he was, and fuck how much pain he was in. They wouldn't be saying the same thing if he were human, I'm just so enraged like as if I'm the only one who cares about him. We've decided to creamate him in a bit, but I'm not ready yet. I'm trying to finish this as fast as I can, I hate Satan so much because this is clearly the work of his own. I want nothing but infinite torture for that thing, and I hope God is happy with how much he tortures me. It'll never be enough. I still don't know what to do, I'm just heart broken and shattered to pieces. I wanted to give him the best life.

Rest in Peace Osito, I love you so much, and I'm so incredibly sorry.

Tell Osito I love him

I don't know how to start this, but my dog just died right now. I'm Male, 16 years old, and still fairly new to Reddit. My puppy, Osito, is a male Shih Tzu Poodle mix and over a year old, and he got run over by a car, and I wasn't there to witness it. We got him about a year ago. I was suffering from severe mental illness and depression, so my family decided to get a dog. If I'm going to be honest, he was the ONLY good thing to have ever happened to my life. I don't have the best home life; I don't have a good relationship with my family, and my friends and I have been really disconnected lately, along with other stuff in my life that has been really shit. Osito was the only good thing God allowed me to keep. He was really soft; I'd cuddle with him a lot to make me feel better. I'd kiss his forehead a lot, I'd take him on walks, I'd bathe him, I'd rub his belly, I gave him plenty of kisses. Today I was really tired; I woke up at like 10, since it was the summer. I went downstairs to check up on my dog, and I was still so very tired, so I went to sleep on the couch. He climbed up to try and wake me up, letting me know that he wanted to go to the bathroom. I really didn't want to walk him, so I let the door open so that he would go pee and poo in the bushes. I've done it a couple of times, and he'd always come back home safe. Sometimes I would whistle or call his name; sometimes I would do nothing, and he'd still come home regardless. Just know that I'm home alone, and my family, who lives with me, went off to work. He came back home the first time; I closed the door, and we relaxed. He stood by the door again, signaling to me that he wanted to go use the bathroom again, so I left the door open, and he went. This time he took longer than usual, and I went out to go find him. I live in an apartment complex, btw, with a patio and pool. I couldn't find him around the area of my apartment complex, so I went outside to the streets in a panic. He'd never gone outside before; he was always too scared to. Sorry if I'm not explaining this correctly; it's kinda hard to explain physically to give a vision of what it looked like. Also, I'm not revising this; I'm sending this the way it is. I ran out to the street, and on the other side of the road I saw a group of people right outside their house aiding my motionless puppy. I struggled really hard; I didn't know what to do. I sat on the curb as they came for me. My sister, who got off work to come see this. I won't go into full detail or explain this particular moment fully because it's going to take longer for me to write. Anyway, they put him in a box with a blanket, and for the first time in 2 years, I've started crying. I've been emotionally numb for the past couple of years due to abuse and many other experiences that have hardened me to become emotionless. After a while, my sister, her friend, and I decided to go back to our apartment, saying our last goodbyes. I locked myself in the bathroom so I could cry properly alone. Right now, I'm in my room, with Osito and his stiffing body, glancing at him, dreading everything, feeling extremely guilty, feeling like a major piece of shit. I'm just so hurt by the life I couldn't have given him, the life I should've given him, but it's too late. He could still be alive if we hadn't gotten, living a better life someplace else. I ruined him; it's my fault. He was the victim not me. I destroyed everything. My mom still hasn't come home from work; I don't live with my father anymore, in case you're wondering. He was so helpless, and I destroyed this poor thing's life, but that's it tho, he's not a thing, he was a real living breathing being with emotions. When I was crying on the curb, the people who were with me kept on saying that this kind of stuff always happens, and that I'm being irrational with what I'm saying, like as if they didn't care about him, like he was just a replaceable thing. It was like they were saying, fuck how scared he was, and fuck how much pain he was in. They wouldn't be saying the same thing if he were human, I'm just so enraged like as if I'm the only one who cares about him. We've decided to creamate him in a bit, but I'm not ready yet. I'm trying to finish this as fast as I can, I hate Satan so much because this is clearly the work of his own. I want nothing but infinite torture for that thing, and I hope God is happy with how much he tortures me. It'll never be enough. I still don't know what to do, I'm just heart broken and shattered to pieces. I wanted to give him the best life.

Rest in Peace Osito, I love you so much, and I'm so incredibly sorry.

I don't know how to start this, but my dog just died right now. I'm Male, 16 years old, and still fairly new to Reddit. My puppy, Osito, is a male Shih Tzu Poodle mix and over a year old, and he got run over by a car, and I wasn't there to witness it. We got him about a year ago. I was suffering from severe mental illness and depression, so my family decided to get a dog. If I'm going to be honest, he was the ONLY good thing to have ever happened to my life. I don't have the best home life; I don't have a good relationship with my family, and my friends and I have been really disconnected lately, along with other stuff in my life that has been really shit. Osito was the only good thing God allowed me to keep. He was really soft; I'd cuddle with him a lot to make me feel better. I'd kiss his forehead a lot, I'd take him on walks, I'd bathe him, I'd rub his belly, I gave him plenty of kisses. Today I was really tired; I woke up at like 10, since it was the summer. I went downstairs to check up on my dog, and I was still so very tired, so I went to sleep on the couch. He climbed up to try and wake me up, letting me know that he wanted to go to the bathroom. I really didn't want to walk him, so I let the door open so that he would go pee and poo in the bushes. I've done it a couple of times, and he'd always come back home safe. Sometimes I would whistle or call his name; sometimes I would do nothing, and he'd still come home regardless. Just know that I'm home alone, and my family, who lives with me, went off to work. He came back home the first time; I closed the door, and we relaxed. He stood by the door again, signaling to me that he wanted to go use the bathroom again, so I left the door open, and he went. This time he took longer than usual, and I went out to go find him. I live in an apartment complex, btw, with a patio and pool. I couldn't find him around the area of my apartment complex, so I went outside to the streets in a panic. He'd never gone outside before; he was always too scared to. Sorry if I'm not explaining this correctly; it's kinda hard to explain physically to give a vision of what it looked like. Also, I'm not revising this; I'm sending this the way it is. I ran out to the street, and on the other side of the road I saw a group of people right outside their house aiding my motionless puppy. I struggled really hard; I didn't know what to do. I sat on the curb as they came for me. My sister, who got off work to come see this. I won't go into full detail or explain this particular moment fully because it's going to take longer for me to write. Anyway, they put him in a box with a blanket, and for the first time in 2 years, I've started crying. I've been emotionally numb for the past couple of years due to abuse and many other experiences that have hardened me to become emotionless. After a while, my sister, her friend, and I decided to go back to our apartment, saying our last goodbyes. I locked myself in the bathroom so I could cry properly alone. Right now, I'm in my room, with Osito and his stiffing body, glancing at him, dreading everything, feeling extremely guilty, feeling like a major piece of shit. I'm just so hurt by the life I couldn't have given him, the life I should've given him, but it's too late. He could still be alive if we hadn't gotten, living a better life someplace else. I ruined him; it's my fault. He was the victim not me. I destroyed everything. My mom still hasn't come home from work; I don't live with my father anymore, in case you're wondering. He was so helpless, and I destroyed this poor thing's life, but that's it tho, he's not a thing, he was a real living breathing being with emotions. When I was crying on the curb, the people who were with me kept on saying that this kind of stuff always happens, and that I'm being irrational with what I'm saying, like as if they didn't care about him, like he was just a replaceable thing. It was like they were saying, fuck how scared he was, and fuck how much pain he was in. They wouldn't be saying the same thing if he were human, I'm just so enraged like as if I'm the only one who cares about him. We've decided to creamate him in a bit, but I'm not ready yet. I'm trying to finish this as fast as I can, I hate Satan so much because this is clearly the work of his own. I want nothing but infinite torture for that thing, and I hope God is happy with how much he tortures me. It'll never be enough. I still don't know what to do, I'm just heart broken and shattered to pieces. I wanted to give him the best life.

Rest in Peace Osito, I love you so much, and I'm so incredibly sorry.

I claim to be aroace (and I'm pretty much am), but sometimes I'm bi or pansexual, sometimes I have preferences, sometimes I don't. I would only ever consider having sex with someone just for the benefits. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool aromatic (or just on the very far end of the aromatic spectrum). I usually don't feel any romantic attraction towards people at all (also, I'm pretty sure I've never had any at all in this point in my life). I'm kinda questioning my sexuality, because I do sometimes find bodies (both masculine and feminine) attractive. I haven't really experienced any attraction towards androgynous or non-gender-conforming bodies, probably because I haven't seen any. Sometimes the thought of having sex with someone grosses me out, where I never want to do it with anyone, and I don't think I've ever fully wanted to do it with someone, but I do have kinks and masturbate. I'm kinda confused and would like some help with this. Feel free to ask any further questions please, I'll try my best to answer them.