He broke up, I accepted and moved on. Had been in no contact for a couple of months when he sent a breadcrumb which I declined (I won't go much into detail for privacy reasons). What does usually come after that doesn't work for them? Any experiences?
For context, I believe he was a fearful avoidant.
He reached out now, 2 months after breaking up with me, after we've been in complete no contact, I completely erased him out of my life and moved on, to tell me he's found some of my clothes and if he should bring them to me.
I said I'm out of the country and redirected him to my friend, so he can give my things to her, which by the way is very convenient for him because she's my work colleague and we work 1 min away from him.
He still hasn't reached out to my friend (it's been a week) and also hasn't replied to me, which I don't mind at all but what's going on? I gave him a practical solution to solve the logistics and now he's not following through?
Also, kinda sus that only now he finds my things... come on...
My question is, what to expect now? I just wish he'd give my things like he said and just leave my mental space for good.
Any similar experiences?
My fearful avoidant ex left me a couple of weeks ago because "I deserve better, he's lost feelings, he's built a wall, he can't be the partner I need, I'm too good", etc.
When he left me though, he cried a lot and was visibly devastated by it but still couldn't choose to stay. He did repeatedly ask me whether I'll delete him from social media, he wanted me to keep things of his (a t-shirt, a teddy bear he had gifted me) and he insisted that he will reach out to me eventually.
I told him not to do that because it's pointless but he said he just won't be able to avoid it. He also recognised himself that he often doesn't value what he has until it's gone.
What the hell does this person want? Why does he insist on keeping a connection? I of course deleted him and I'm moving on and not looking forward to his text/call.
But what the hell is this behaviour? I just want to understand. At the same time he did encourage me to move on so, what the hell is going on?
My fearful avoidant ex left me a couple of weeks ago because "I deserve better, he's lost feelings, he's built a wall, he can't be the partner I need, I'm too good", etc.
When he left me though, he cried a lot and was visibly devastated by it but still couldn't choose to stay. He did repeatedly ask me whether I'll delete him from social media, he wanted me to keep things of his (a t-shirt, a teddy bear he had gifted me) and he insisted that he will reach out to me eventually.
I told him not to do that because it's pointless but he said he just won't be able to avoid it. He also recognised himself that he often doesn't value what he has until it's gone.
What the hell does this person want? Why does he insist on keeping a connection? I of course deleted him and I'm moving on and not looking forward to his text/call.
But what the hell is this behaviour? I just want to understand.
I'm not sure where to start, we've been dating for around half a year now. At the beginning everything was amazing, a lot of attention, sweet talking, intimacy, compliments, communication, nice details, etc.
Lately I'm finding myself having to ask for basic consideration, such as including me in plans, or acknowledging my existence when I'm right next to him, because he just stares at his phone and continues on with his day.
Everything has become colder, I don't remember the last time he's told me I look pretty, or flirted with me.
I feel more and more unseen in subtle things: he doesn't initiate intimacy anymore (or not as much), I have to begin every hard conversation because he behaves careless (he says he's in his own head) after every argument. He also makes his own plans without considering our time together, but then wants to fit me in when it's convenient for him.
I'm honestly becoming exhausted of the situation. The worst part is I feel crazy because he does do other things right, like: he has introduced me to his entire family, he smiles around me hinting that he's happy to see me, he gives me a kiss here and there, he says good morning/good night, and he does change behaviour for a little after I complain.
But it still isn't enough. Deep inside me I'm not happy, he's not the person he used to be and I feel I'm carrying this relationship in many ways.
When I speak to him about these things he just apologises and can't give me any reason why he behaves the way he does. Regarding the physical closeness (hugs, kisses) he said it's normal that it got less because we've been together for some time. But if this is our life 6 months in, how will it be in 6 years? Nonexistent?
How do I handle this situation without losing more dignity?
I'm not sure where to start, we've been dating for around half a year now. At the beginning everything was amazing, a lot of attention, sweet talking, intimacy, compliments, communication, nice details, etc.
Lately I'm finding myself having to ask for basic consideration, such as including me in plans, or acknowledging my existence when I'm right next to him, because he just stares at his phone and continues on with his day.
Everything has become colder, I don't remember the last time he's told me I look pretty, or flirted with me.
I feel more and more unseen in subtle things: he doesn't initiate intimacy anymore (or not as much), I have to begin every hard conversation because he behaves careless (he says he's in his own head) after every argument. He also makes his own plans without considering our time together, but then wants to fit me in when it's convenient for him.
I'm honestly becoming exhausted of the situation. The worst part is I feel crazy because he does do other things right, like: he has introduced me to his entire family, he smiles around me hinting that he's happy to see me, he gives me a kiss here and there, he says good morning/good night, and he does change behaviour for a little after I complain.
But it still isn't enough. Deep inside me I'm not happy, he's not the person he used to be and I feel I'm carrying this relationship in many ways.
When I speak to him about these things he just apologises and can't give me any reason why he behaves the way he does. Regarding the physical closeness (hugs, kisses) he said it's normal that it got less because we've been together for some time. But if this is our life 6 months in, how will it be in 6 years? Nonexistent?
What do I do? Do I begin to behave the same way he does? Do I leave him? Do I even have a legitimate reason to leave? Things aren't bad in handsight! It's very confusing.
TL;DR: boyfriend has stopped putting in effort after a few months and I don't know what to do.
I'm in a sort of new relationship (of a few months), and this month my emotional state was worse during the days before my period, to the point I reconsidered if I'm maybe giving too much in the relationship and I should pull away, and feeling unworthy and unlovable and he simply listened to me and wasn't sure what to say to me. I asked if he feels like he can handle me even though during this time I become extremely emotional and out of touch with reality. He said for now he can.
I do become very sensitive but I'm also aware of it and try to fight it and as hard as it is, I do apologise to him through it all, even when I don't feel like I should apologise. I don't trust my feelings during this time.
I think I'm being too hard on myself, and should cut myself some slack and understand that the right man won't run away because of something I can't even help.
Does someone else struggle with over-apologising and feeling undeserving during this time? How do I stop it? How do your partners treat you during those days?