u/Ok-Preference6205

what do you listen to?

follow up question, does what you listen to matter? like will sad music make you sad or something? should I keep my Playlist upbeat and non-depressing music? any reccomendations for songs?

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I feel so confused in my relationship

First off she bites me too hard, and she says sorry and that she will do better, but it hasnt really changed that much? I mean it has a little bit but Ive been feeling so so so confused and I feel like I cant trust my own judgment and that i am going crazy!!!! its getting to the point I feel anxiety around her and get a pit in my stomach but its so strange bevause she buys me gifts and treats and gives me so much love but then she does things that make my stomach feel weird I dont know

And when I was drunk last night she was like trying to convince me to let her cum in my mouth (she is trans for context) even though that had always been a hard no for me. she was like soft launching it by being like "mine woukd taste/feel different I think" and kept talking about it when I said I didnt like the taste or texture of cum. it feels like she was subtle-y trying to convince me to do it even though its a hard boundary for me and always has been (made clear early on)

and then I guess I ate her ass through her underwear even though i told her i wasnt really ready for ass stuff yet? and also ate me out even tho I expressed hesitancy previously and idk Idk i feel so weird about it I get a pit in my stomach when I think about all of this

\*pls note she was slightly tipsy and then sobered up but she was sober enough to know i was absolutely blasted off my ass and gave me water and stuff and worried for me, I was stumbling and kept almost falling and saying odd things I cant remember much else

we talked about this and she said she was sorry and that she would change, and even offered to take a step back from the relationship to further analyze her behaviors and in counseling. she also said stuff like "I think it might be bevause of X I did this, but its not an excuse" and idk she said sorry before but it hasnt changed and im wondering if things will really change this time.

she also is a bit physically rough with me (spanking, the aforementioned biting, and like light slaps on the arm) and she said its because her adhd and she like grew up with very physical friendships? does adhd do this? she said she needs to improve herself but idk and she apologized for being abusive.

please tell me this isnt abusive I cant handle another abusive relationship shes all I ever wanted please please

First off she bites me too hard, and she says sorry and that she will do better, but it hasnt really changed that much? I mean it has a little bit but Ive been feeling so so so confused and I feel like I cant trust my own judgment and that i am going crazy!!!!

its getting to the point I feel anxiety around her and get a pit in my stomach but its so strange bevause she buys me gifts and treats and gives me so much love but then she does things that make my stomach feel weird I dont know

And when I was drunk last night she was like trying to convince me to let her cum in my mouth (she is trans for context) even though that had always been a hard no for me. she was like soft launching it by being like "mine woukd taste/feel different I think" and kept talking about it when I said I didnt like the taste or texture of cum. it feels like she was subtle-y trying to convince me to do it even though its a hard boundary for me and always has been (made clear early on)

and then I guess I ate her ass through her underwear even though i told her i wasnt really ready for ass stuff yet? and also ate me out even tho I expressed hesitancy previously and idk Idk i feel so weird about it I get a pit in my stomach when I think about all of this

\*pls note she was slightly tipsy and then sobered up but she was sober enough to know i was absolutely blasted off my ass and gave me water and stuff and worried for me, I was stumbling and kept almost falling and saying odd things I cant remember much else

please tell me this isnt abusive I cant handle another abusive relationship shes all I ever wanted please please

20f with my partner 20f. I dont know if this is abuse or not and I need help.

she would bite me really hard during sex or out of affection, and I would always tell her to be gentle because it hurt bad and i very consistently had bruises. i LIKE biting dont get me wrong, but she would bite way too hard.

recently I told her she needed to be more gentle again and I told her it was abusive behavior. she apologized, and said she would be better. yesterday she was over at my place, and she did it a few times again, but kept apologizing and asking if "she did better"? im just worried because she kinda keeps doing it but seems genuinely sad and remorseful about it, so i am feeling SO confused and unsure and I cant trust my own judgment.

she also keeps grabbing/biting/licking my butt even though i squirm away and say stuff like "hey get out of there!" or ask her to stop but yesterday she did it right after I squirmed and said something (I forgot what I said but I either said no, stop, or hey get out of there- something to that effect that I think clearly shows I dont want that right now.) im so confused because shes super nice and was so sad about hurting me she cried, and she washed some my dishes for me and was super affectionate towards me (we had a convo about me not feeling physical affection enough and she says its bc of her adhd) but my stomache feels weird when I think about it?

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so i 20f posted a few days ago in a different subreddit that my gf 20f would bite me really hard and wouldn't stop.

i told her it was abusive behavior, and she apologized again, and said she'd be better. she got so sad about it she cried, and we made up. she came over again, and she did bite a little too hard accidentally (i cant believe it being purposeful, despite what people have said previously) but she immediately corrected herself. I also brought up more issues i had been having lately (like her leaving my home 6 mins after sex, her not being really physically/outwardly affectionate due to her adhd)

we talked about it, and she said that "you can go up to 150%, I can only go to 100%" because we think I might have bpd so we were talking about it. I asked her if I had anything that bothered her or could use work/needed improvements on, but she said no and that she couldn't think of anything.

I guess ive been feeling confused since shes being super affectionate, cuddled me after sex today, and kept asking if she was "doing better with the bites" but then also linked my butt even tho I didnt want butt stuff and squirmed away and I cant remember if I said no or not. I know during it I felt weird in my stomach about it? ive been shaking her off off my butt and declining stuff around my butt

I feel like i SHOULD be fine and dandy, but for some reaon I feel so confused and nearly questioning my reality? She's also been sending more relationship-lovey-dovey things thru Instagram as well. I dont know why i feel so off about it, I should be fine and happy with the changes but I dont know if its just my autism + bpd or WHAT. outsider views/input appreciated.

(please be kind, what might be obvious to you might not be for me as I do have depression, anxiety, ptsd, autism and possibly bpd)

shes not abusive to me and is very sweet but I dont know why i feel so OFF. I dont want to feel off I love her and I want to be with her. shes helped me through some agonizing traumatizing life events. I dont quite know what is wrong with me, why cant I trust my own judgment??

quick edit: we have this thing we do where its blanket consent, so we can have sex and stuff while high or drunk, but i didnt want my butt touched

tldr: she changed her behaviors, but I still feel weird and am questioning myself and my reality.

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so i 20f posted a few days ago in a different subreddit that my gf 20f would bite me really hard and wouldn't stop.

i told her it was abusive behavior, and she apologized again, and said she'd be better. she got so sad about it she cried, and we made up. she came over again, and she did bite a little too hard accidentally (i cant believe it being purposeful, despite what people have said previously) but she immediately corrected herself. I also brought up more issues i had been having lately (like her leaving my home 6 mins after sex, her not being really physically/outwardly affectionate due to her adhd)

we talked about it, and she said that "you can go up to 150%, I can only go to 100%" because we think I might have bpd so we were talking about it. I asked her if I had anything that bothered her or could use work/needed improvements on, but she said no and that she couldn't think of anything.

I guess ive been feeling confused since shes being super affectionate, cuddled me after sex today, and kept asking if she was "doing better with the bites" but then also linked my butt even tho I didnt want butt stuff and squirmed away and I cant remember if I said no or not. I know during it I felt weird in my stomach about it? ive been shaking her off off my butt and declining stuff around my butt

I feel like i SHOULD be fine and dandy, but for some reaon I feel so confused and nearly questioning my reality? She's also been sending more relationship-lovey-dovey things thru Instagram as well. I dont know why i feel so off about it, I should be fine and happy with the changes but I dont know if its just my autism + bpd or WHAT. outsider views/input appreciated.

(please be kind, what might be obvious to you might not be for me as I do have depression, anxiety, ptsd, autism and possibly bpd)

shes not abusive to me and is very sweet but I dont know why i feel so OFF. I dont want to feel off I love her and I want to be with her. shes helped me through some agonizing traumatizing life events. I dont quite know what is wrong with me, why cant I trust my own judgment??

quick edit: we have this thing we do where its blanket consent, so we can have sex and stuff while high or drunk, but i didnt want my butt touched

tldr: she changed her behaviors, but I still feel weird and am questioning myself and my reality.

I was at the bus stop a week or two ago, waiting in front and sitting down while waiting for my partner to get off work and join me.

this obviously VERY drunk guy sits down next to me, and starts talking to me. he says "has anyone told you how beautiful you are?" and I politely thank him for the compliment.

then he keeps going.

he keeps going on about how beautiful I am, and how he wished he was MY man?? and I told him I was gay and had a gf and then he offered to be my side piece???

and I just kinda laughed awkwardly and tried to remain polite because I was NOT about to piss off a very big drunk guy.

so he reaches for my hand, and usually with the "friendly drunk" types, they usually wanna high-five or fistbump or something like that. He grabs my hand and leans over and KISSES my hand and rubs his tongue all over it?? at this point im freezing up (bc if you read my past posts ive been raped like 9 times and sexually assaulted by 2 other people before) and it was so scary I almost cried

my gf came and got me and I got hand sanitizer and got his disgusting slobber off my hand.

We have been dating for about 8-ish months. Yes I am aware it can be too early but the honeymoon phase is over, we have traveled together in high stress areas and have been fine and we have been friends for a long time as well, and every relationship is different and can go at their own pace.

I KNOW logically it is not a huge deal, but I feel a small stinging feeling in my chest over it. I am autistic for further context, so what might be obvious to you might not be to me.

I got an opportunity to get an apartment, and I asked my partner if she wanted to move in with me and sign a lease with me. She declined. Which is obviously her choice and I accepted it. But I am stumped.

I feel a tad hurt and mostly confused though, as we have plans in the future to move states, and I thought this would be a good learning opportunity to make sure we actually want to live together and are compatible lifestyle-wise before we move to a new state together in the future?

And we had previously applied and looked for places in our current city together, so im confused on why she abandoned those plans entirely if she wanted to move in with me?

Any outsider perspectives would be appreciated.

Edit to add: i can afford the place by myself.

tldr: gf wont move in with me despite us making previous plans to and I am stumped.