u/Ok_Anybody6636

Hey hi, I'm just writing somewhat to talk about something interesting that happened lately, to be brutally honest about my compulsions which I rarely ever am, and to share my plan going forward which I suppose, I'd like to have a bit of help with. Just some people to talk with that's all- I've been struggling with OCD for as long as I can remember back to when I was a child and in my 19 years of life I haven't really like, talked about it at all? Briefly with mental health professionals before, but I feel I've needed community for a long time and I've essentially neglected it. Sharing compulsions makes me uncomfortable, while I have a few great friends I hold very close to my heart I still find it hard to talk about OCD. Not at all because of them, or that I feel uncomfortable sharing with them, they're all incredibly open and accepting, but, in the nicest way possible, they can't really get it. I'm glad they don't. But it has occasionally admittedly made me feel somewhat alone in it, leading me to seek comfort from myself which has only stripped me of power and assured me in my anxieties.

That being said, recently, something happened which was, bad! Something that made me extremely nervous. I had worries about a thing I had changed in my life leading me to have something bad happen, and, something bad happened a couple days after I changed said thing. Ofc, rationally this makes no sense, it's not correlated, but magical thinking convinced me. (It was me changing the key of a song I'm writing to F to D#. There is no reason that would cause anything to happen)

I am absolutely honestly terrified. I want personally to change it back, I know it means nothing, and I preferred it being the way it was, but my brain has convinced me so clearly that it made me physically ill. I've been recovering from it and just thinking a lot about that. It's far from the first time compulsions have sent me into full blown panic attacks or made me sick, but this just feels so cruel.

To be honest, I think it's me having recently gotten out of a toxic relationship that has changed my perspective. I feel more drawn to persevering and cutting this parasite off when I can and feel empowered, more than ever to do so. But it's still so hard. I feel trapped and I want control, all I want is to be the one in control for once and to show myself that I don't need to be crippled by this. I am blessed and I have everything I could want- So why let myself be crippled by my thought loop? I'm able to break free and I feel like my failings and my inabilities to do so makes me ungrateful. I have it so much better than so many people yet I can't get control of something so simple in the right place at the right time. I don't know, it's just been a lot.

I have shed my skin and grown beyond so much that has hurt me, but it's really hard to change the one thing I trust the most

absolutely blown away by this band, these guys deserve so much recognition! genuinely was such a vibe, such an incredible personality on stage and amazing performers. been digging into their music recently and really love what ive been hearing!

(also thank you to the vocalist for complimenting my tattoo at the show that was so sweet lol)

greatest show of my life, amazing time, i love y'all so much, thanks for making this a great and comforting warm night and thank you to the guys for putting on the greatest show and putting us together! ❤️ i apologize to the girl behind me at barricade i know you told me i was okay twice but i hate being taller than anyone LOL

seriously though it was an honor to be initiated into the TDH live experience with you all! thanks for coming!! voice is gone!

I'M CRASHING OUT!!! I HAD NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING AAAAAAAAAAAAAHSNM I'LL SEE YOU GUYS THERE!!❤️

Nothing much to this post really, I just wanted to make an appreciation post thingy. I'm a girl from ohio who got into TDH when my brother showed me them in early 2023-ish, and ever since I've become a really big fan of them. I love the ethos of this band so much and all of their music is masterpiece tier, it's insane. But I am not THE TDH fan of my family. My brother is genuinely such a huge fan and it makes me the happiest how excited he gets over them. Like he lights up like nothing else talking about them and it's actually the sweetest thing ever. I can't think of anything else that I would rather him be so into. The guys themselves seem to genuinely be the sweetest most awesome people, and I'm just really glad that he resonates with and is inspired by people like that.

Anywho, I wanted to ask you other weird fellas (/positive) if you have ever turned anyone on to TDH. Who were they? How did you get into them yourself?

To start, I (18F) became very close friends with someone since late 2021 early 2022, and that person ended up becoming a very successful twitch streamer/content creator. Generally, they ended up gaining a massive following in the three years after I met them and the entire time they had a loving girlfriend who they always told me they loved dearly, had a great relationship, etc. They were nearly 22 when I met them, I was 14. Safe to say because of that, we didn't necessarily become very close until I had turned about 17, and no advances were ever made to me.

They generally kept their distance for the most part, except to hang out, occasionally talk in VCs, etc. I did become quick friends with their inner circle though, and they would become my best friends. Due to my closeness with them (plus, I was dating one of them for quite some time, lol) they eventually trusted me enough to invite me to a private group chat of sorts and generally begin talking more. It was me, them and our closest friends.

When I turned 18 last year, it was in August, and I had already fallen out with the girl I was dating a year before. I didn't know at the time, but as me and this person became closer, they almost immediately after me and her broke up tried to make some sexual comments to her here and there. Keep in mind, she was very much asexual and never engaged back, to my knowledge shutting down the behavior to the best of her ability.

They begun to subtly sexualize me in private almost immediately after I turned 18. About a month later, me and them had begun to get quite a bit closer but always led with them attempting to make lewd remarks or comments towards me.

In November they would be publicly exposed by some of my closest friends and their best friends. They had sexually assaulted their girlfriend, and behind the scenes all that they did to our friends would come to light. They pretty much treated every adult women in their friend group sexually.

In this time, the extent of this all was unknown to their girlfriend. She was actually okay with most of the remarks towards friends, but she wanted to be made known if they ever wanted to take things a step further. They didn't tell her about these advances. I wish not to go into much more detail, out of respect for the victims, and because their testimonials are all still public. Their career imploded. This shit had commentary youtubers making actual video content out of us. It was horrible to experience and witness on behalf of my friends who were treated far worse than me.

They pretty much disappeared off the internet. Not a peep has been heard, they privated all their accounts, and me and all of their friends have cut them off entirely ever since, ofc.

I suppose I'm making this post to not only vent this out for the first time, but also to wonder if I'm making the right decision Before they went private, they stated they are seeking professional help. Frankly, I could not care less what happens to them. They hurt me and my friends. In a god damn abhorrent way. One I could never forgive them for.

I know this goes against what I feel when I talk about them or think of them, but I always wonder if what I'm doing is right. I know a lot of people like this don't end up getting help, they lose everything. and they stay the exact same way. They tried to reach out for help to a friend of mine and obviously, immediately got blocked. Should I still have them cut off entirely? Should I have offered a hand? I know they are psychologically broken. Is it better for them to suffer with the knowledge of what they've done and for myself to hope they got help so the cycle doesn't repeat, or should I ensure they get help? As much as I try not to see it as my problem anymore, I always think about it, and I just suppose I wanted assurance as to whether or not it would be best for truly, everyone to leave them to rot in the bed they made. Thank you for your time, I just don't want someone else getting hurt again

It's a hard time right now. All across the world. But we can come together now and carry the torch. You are strong, loved more than you know, and I implore you all to do something good for yourself today. Honor him in your life. We all love you so much 🩷