u/Old-Assistance-984

hi guys, question is in the title, and i need advice on this. posting this here because I feel like other islamic subreddits are a little judgy. for mostly religious reasons, i have remained a virgin my entire adult life. it’s also moreso a principle thing though because i just don’t connect with a lot of men, and i feel like sex is intimate that i should only share with a guy i love. the guy is also muslim, and albeit he has said he’s not extremely religious and recently he told me this was his body count. he does know more about islam than me though tbh. he also told me he has been celibate for 3-4 years. i dont consider myself insanely religious either, i just try to pray, fast, be a good person, etc and abstain from major signs like zina, alcohol, etc.

i know his body count is average for someone in their early 20s in the west, but i think given we’re the same age and i’m a virgin i feel a little weird idk? i don’t mean to judge someone cause really im not, we all make mistakes especially when we’re young. i also don’t feel disgusted by it, it was moreso i felt insecurities that our first time wouldn’t be as special then.

i think its just like idk when we talked about this too it was our first serious convo and at one point i was asking too many questions and he got kind of upset about one thing i asked, which is valid. i asked “do u think u have any pregnancy scares or suspicions.” ik in hindsight this is really weird and i didn’t know proper way to ask this because i haven’t really talked to that many guys. and i know he doesnt have kids but i was wondering moreso if he was doing things unprotected too idk because what if in a few years he has a secret kid he never knew about come out like i can accept your body count but not a kid idk? i know this is probably irrational thinking and maybe its my mental health issues but his response to this was he got really mad and said if i ask stuff like this again he doesn’t know if it’ll work. which is valid but i think the anger and fact that relationship was threatened to be ended it scared me a little? and then i asked if he thinks we should even be together because i do overthink easily but he said not a chance cause he really likes me so i’m just confused.

everything else about this guy is perfect though and he’s genuinely really sweet. like in every other way he is my dream guy and i love talking to him, spending time together, etc. he also hasn’t pressured me to do anything sexual and doesn’t expect that of me, and yknow agrees to wait till marriage as well. I think I worry about falling into the stereotype of being a good muslim girl and then marrying a guy who's done everything idk. please help and be nice thanks so much.

Hi guys,

I had discord for a few years but never really used it that much except for university or irl friend related things, until 2 years ago. Even then though, I was in university and so I wasn't using it that much. But after graduating and having more free time, and seeing my irl friends less, I became kind of addicted to using it for the past few months. I know it seems silly but it really distracted me from partaking in actual important things in my life and focusing on future goals.

I feel like my situation might be a bit different from others because I wasn't really active in big servers I was in smaller servers and made close friends there, who I still appreciate because they were genuinely really kind and there for me. I didn't really experience too much toxicity or negativity, sure there were some situations unrelated to my close friends there but it was overall ignorable and manageable.

I decided to quit though simply because it was a major distraction, and I wanted to just focus on real life experiences more. I'm very lonely irl, even though I have friends and family, just not everyone is available to hang out so frequently yknow? I know a lot of people would recommend chasing more irl social connections, but it's just hard for me to find people I can connect with and hang out regularly with as well ig. Instead, I feel like I'm going to try to accept being alone and cherish when I am able to be around my loved ones. I want to focus on incorporating other hobbies into my life, like painting, knitting, etc. while pursuing my goals.

It's hard to quit something when you have good memories with it, but if I can try then so can you!!

honestly this was a talking stage so not something super serious but i really liked him n did start to fall for him a bit. it kind of ended because a few days before i asked some serious commitment type questions and i think it put him off, but we had been talking for 2 months right and i was starting to like him more. and my friends said it was perfectly ok to ask this at this point. his responses kind of put me off too because it didn’t seem like what i would want or expect from someone who wanted to be serious/commit.

and then i myself was debating wether to end it, i was like in the shower literally coming to the decision that yeah i have to. and then he texted me right before i was going to, and kind of just said he was emotionally unavailable and i deserved better. he said he was starting to feel that way for me but this stuff is hard for him. he kind of wanted to stay friends too because he cared about me but i said no but said he could talk if he needed something ofc. at least he was mature enough there like i appreciated that response. but idk maybe it’s me in my own head like i keep thinking “oh was i pretty enough, was my personality even good?” but he pursued me knowing those things but i think i have such a well of insecurities that ive developed recently that it bothers me.

i think ive only felt this way once before and it hurts cause i was like trying to open up too and believe this time it could work and it didn’t. and it hurts too because he told me he was serious since the beginning, but i understand maybe he liked me then too and it clouded his judgement with these things and made him promise something he couldn’t. but it still hurts yknow

i think i just want advice on how to stop my mind from thinking such thoughts, or to be ok with it if that was the case 😕 sorry this is long and thanks to whoever reads this i just feel really sad i think

I've worked at my parent's family business since I was 12 (I'm 23 now), and originally it was mores volunteering, but later on I did get paid for it too. My parents needed help, and now that I've graduated university I do work a bit more while applying to other jobs in the meantime. Of course, when I do get another job, I decrease my hours and I guess I have that privilege since my parents are my boss and are flexible and want me to also pursue other jobs related to my field too.

I like to include it on my resumes though as I have done it for so long and it gave me a lot of valuable experience and skills, especially related to administrative work and customer service, and I feel like this is relevant to jobs I apply to. On my resume though I only say I've been working there since I was around 15 though.

Is it a red flag to include this in applications to jobs? Like if they ask in an interview why I've been working there for so long and why I'm pursuing another job, should I include the reasoning I gave above? I also have written down that I've worked across 3 locations, as there are three of them and it's the truth that I work at multiple locations depending on where I'm needed. Is that also a red flag?

Hi all, I am getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth out very soon. The top 2 are out and my dentist said easy to remove. The bottom 2, only one is out but impacted and the other is just starting to get out. They cause occasional pain but my dentist has been recommending that I remove mine for a while now. He said the healing is better when you’re young (I’m 23). I’m just so nervous and scared for it though, I’ll be given nitrous laughing gas to help calm me for it. And my dentist seems knowledgeable, he said he will also take my blood to promote better healing. Just so scared though :( what if something goes wrong? He said I will also be on 4 medications, one for swelling, one for pain, one antibiotic, I forgot the other tbh. I get so anxious about swallowing large pills too and all :( Does anyone have any advice or reassurance?

Salam everyone, I been wearing more skirts recently, but don't know what I should we wearing under them exactly. I am specifically talking about maxi skirts, because yes they do cover my legs, but I like to wear something long under in case the wind blows to not show my legs. If I wear leggings, it gets too hot and my skirt sticks to the fabric. My friend told me she wears linen pants which sounds like a good idea, but I wanted to ask for other advice too.

salam all, basically there is this family friend we have and me and him kind of used to be friends a few years ago, like mostly just knew each other on social media and had mutuals. but then we kinda distanced. now we are older, and i know from some sources he wants to get married. i kind of want to get married too. last year i found out we are actually family friends and our parents really like each other, and my parents also really like him and always say he’s such a good guy. so i got to thinking why couldn’t we go about things in a halal way through our families and like meet with intentions for marriage and wali is involved. but i don’t know how to say this to my mom, and i feel weird about it because usually men send proposals to women not the other way around. i know khadija RA took initiative, but still i feel shy about doing that especially to tell my mom i have a crush on this guy :/