I have tried everything it feels like. Are their any apps that wont allow me to change settings or put phone in safe mode. All these apps suck for the very reason they can all be uninstalled. Short of getting a flip phone idk what to do.
AITA for being uncomfortable with what my 17-year-old stepson wears around my 3-year-old?
I have a 17-year-old stepson and a 3-year-old son. Recently, my stepson wore a leather garter-style accessory with thigh-high stockings while spending time in the shared areas of our home.
I want to be careful about how I describe this because I am not trying to shame him, criticize his identity, or prevent him from expressing himself. He is nearly an adult, and I understand that teenagers experiment with fashion and how they present themselves.
At the same time, the outfit struck me as something normally associated with adult or intimate clothing, and I felt uncomfortable with it being worn around my 3-year-old. I am not claiming that my toddler fully understands the outfit or that seeing it will automatically harm him. I am questioning whether it is reasonable to have some basic clothing boundaries in the common areas of a family home.
Another major issue for me is that I truly do not believe my husband would ever allow our teenage daughter to wear the same outfit. If our daughter came downstairs in a leather garter and thigh-high stockings, I believe he would immediately tell her to change. That makes this feel like a double standard rather than one consistent household rule.
I do not want the conversation to become about rejecting my stepson or making him feel unwelcome. I also do not want one child to be treated more harshly than another because of gender. I would prefer a neutral rule that applies equally to everyone, such as keeping lingerie-style or explicitly adult clothing out of shared family spaces.
My husband thinks I am overreacting and that our 3-year-old does not understand or care about what anyone is wearing. I can understand that perspective, but I still feel uncomfortable and believe parents are allowed to set reasonable expectations for common areas.
AITA for wanting this boundary, or am I assigning too much meaning to an outfit that my toddler probably does not understand?
AITAH for not wanting my 3-year-old around the sexualized clothing my 17-year-old stepson wears?
I have a 17-year-old stepson and a 3-year-old son. Recently, my stepson has been wearing clothing around the house that I consider sexualized or inappropriate for a young child to be exposed to.
I want to be clear that I am not trying to shame my stepson, control his identity, or tell him that he cannot express himself. He is almost an adult, and I understand that teenagers experiment with clothing and self-expression. My concern is specifically about what is appropriate to wear in shared family spaces around a 3-year-old.
My toddler may not fully understand what he is seeing right now, but he notices everything and is at an age where he copies what the older people around him do. I feel like there should be reasonable boundaries regarding clothing that contains explicitly sexual words, images, or messages when young children are present.
Another part of why this bothers me is that I honestly do not believe my husband would ever allow my stepdaughter to wear the same type of clothing. That makes the situation feel like there may be a double standard based on which child is wearing it, and I do not think the rules should completely change depending on gender.
My spouse seems to think I am overreacting and that our 3-year-old either does not understand it or will not be affected by it. I am wondering whether I am looking at this too rigidly or unfairly placing adult ideas about sexuality onto clothing that my toddler probably does not even comprehend.
I do not want this to become an argument about my stepson personally. I want both children to feel comfortable and respected in their home. At the same time, I feel that being part of a household sometimes means adjusting what you wear or do in common areas based on who else lives there.
AITA for wanting a boundary around sexualized or explicitly sexual clothing being worn in front of my 3-year-old? Am I protecting an age-appropriate environment, or do I have the wrong perspective?
I recently sold an 88-key keyboard through Facebook Marketplace shipping. The buyer was only charged around $13 for shipping, but when I try to update the shipping information, Facebook will not let me enter anything over 5 lbs.
Obviously, an 88-key keyboard weighs much more than 5 lbs, especially once it is packed securely, and it is also a large box. I realize I should have checked this before accepting the order, but I have never shipped something this large through Marketplace before.
What am I supposed to do now? Can I purchase my own shipping label and upload the tracking number, or do I need to cancel the order and have the buyer repurchase it another way? I do not want to lose a huge amount of money on shipping, but I also do not want to inconvenience the buyer or hurt my seller account.
Has anyone dealt with this before? What would be the safest way to handle it?
My husband and I work at the same company, and I know I've pushed him away over time. He rarely seeks me out anymore, even for something small like lunch.
I don't want to come across as needy or force anything, but I also don't want to just wait around if waiting is part of what got us here. Should I text him during the day? Show up for lunch? Or give him space to come to me first?
Would love perspective from anyone who's rebuilt connection with their spouse, especially in a situation where you see each other at work every day.
My husband keeps saying rude/baiting comments to provoke me - how do I respond without escalating, and when do I know it's time to just leave the house?
He's been walking around dropping snide remarks, clearly trying to get a reaction. I don't want to give him the explosion he seems to be fishing for, but I also don't want to just absorb it and let resentment build.
I'm also trying to figure out when it's actually time to leave for a bit vs. just riding it out. Some things I'm watching for: comments escalating even when I don't react, him following me room to room to keep it going, feeling anxious/on edge in my own home, or sensing anything could turn into yelling or me being blocked from leaving.
Anyone dealt with this? What worked - calling it out directly, going quiet, leaving, something else?
Does anyone here attend The Phoenix in Wichita?
I've been thinking about checking it out and would love to hear from people who have experience with it. How do you like it? What are the workouts, classes, and community like?
I'm interested in the recovery aspect and connecting with other people who are working on building healthier lives. Is it welcoming to newcomers? Were you nervous your first time? What was your experience like?
I've been sober for a while but haven't really found much of a recovery community yet, so I'm looking for a place to connect with people who get it.
I'd appreciate any honest feedback or advice before I go. Thanks!
I am so irritated and honestly just need perspective from women who are farther along in this than I am.
There are weeks where I do really well. I tape my mouth figuratively (and sometimes literally 😅). I’ve read The Empowered Wife twice. My phone background is the intimacy skills and I reread them constantly before I react “c*nty” (as my husband would call it). Some of you ladies honestly seem to have situations way harder than mine, so I know part of this has to be me.
But I am exhausted.
I work 40+ hours a week. I feel like I carry most of the mental load with the kids, cooking, cleaning, schedules, bedtime, all of it. My 13 year old helps with dishes sometimes, but otherwise I feel like I’m constantly pouring out with zero refill. I don’t get to sleep in. Ever. I barely get self care. I recently started trying to make plans for the gym and classes because I KNOW I need something for myself, and my husband gets upset about it.
I want to be soft. I really do. But sometimes I feel like I don’t even have the chance to breathe before another resentment pops up.
Example: I’m cleaning the kitchen after my husband slept basically all day yesterday and slept in today. He calls me into the room and asks: “Have you read the Bible? Do you believe in God?” I say yes. Then he says: “You know how people washed each other’s feet in the Bible? You should come wash my feet.”
Immediately I get defensive. Skeptical. I start arguing theology instead of just letting it go. I literally googled it trying to prove him wrong and snapped back with “maybe YOU should wash MY feet.”
(I will admit that he is totally crass humor, he was honestly probably 1/2 joking)
And afterward I think… why can’t I just say nothing? Why do I always feel the need to defend myself? Why is my instinct always to push back?
Part of me wonders if maybe doing humble acts like that would actually soften my heart. But another part of me feels deeply resentful because for the last year my husband has been using again, and with that has come lies, manipulation, gaslighting, moodiness, and rudeness. I’m not condoning his behavior at all.
Another confusing part is that we actually still have sex pretty often. Sometimes even once a day. So from the outside people would probably assume our marriage is “fine.” But the issue is the other 22 hours of the day. Afterward he usually just goes downstairs or disconnects again emotionally. A lot of the time I end up feeling like he only wants me for one reason, even though he says that’s not true.
But I also know I cannot control him. Only me.
And honestly, if one of us has to stop escalating things, it probably has to be me because I don’t want a divorce. I truly love my husband. I just feel stuck between wanting to be an empowered, respectful wife and feeling chronically overwhelmed, unseen, and emotionally unsafe.
I also think I was raised by a single mother who unintentionally taught us that women don’t need men, and I can see how that pride/control/independence shows up in my marriage constantly. I struggle so hard with surrender because my brain immediately goes to “well what about ME?”
I’m in therapy. I am trying. I fail constantly.
Please be honest with me. I can handle criticism. I just need perspective from women who understand this journey because I feel like there’s a tug of war happening inside me all the time.