u/OrdinaryPromotion255

Hi everyone! I'm hoping for some advice on this serious and hard situation.

My fiancé and I got engaged a few months ago, and we’re planning to get married next summer. We’re both in our early 20s and have been together for about four years.
On paper, I truly couldn’t ask for a better person to marry. He’s an amazing guy, has been my rock through some really difficult times, and makes me incredibly happy. We share the same beliefs and have very similar ideas about what we want our future to look like. My family and friends absolutely love him, and I genuinely believe he would be an amazing husband and father.

But I’ve been struggling with something that I can’t seem to get past. I’ve lived independently about three hours away from my family for the past three years while going through nursing school. I’ve always hated being away from them. I’m extremely close with my parents and especially close with my younger siblings, who are quite a bit younger than me. Being present for their lives is really important to me, and I’ve realized by being away that I really want to be involved with them, not just holidays and occasional visits.

This summer, my family moved to another state, which has made everything feel even more complicated. If I weren’t getting married, I would probably move home after graduation and live with my family.

Instead, getting married next summer would mean moving away from them again and essentially beginning a completely separate life. And that thought genuinely breaks my heart.

My fiancé and I have talked about eventually moving closer to my family after we get married, and he is open to the idea. But there’s no guarantee that it will happen, and I’m struggling with the fact that I would be making this huge, permanent decision based partly on the hope that we can eventually live near them.

The confusing part is that I don’t necessarily want to leave my fiancé. I’m scared that I’m putting myself in a position where I have to choose between an incredible relationship and being close to the family I love so much. Ending the engagement feels like giving up an amazing future with someone I love, but getting married feels like giving up the possibility of being really present for my family during this stage of my life.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Any advice?

TL;DR: I’m engaged to an amazing man and we’re planning to marry next summer, but I’m struggling with the idea of moving away from my family and considering ending my engagement to stay close to them

Hi everyone! I'm hoping for some advice on this serious and hard situation.

My fiancé and I got engaged a few months ago, and we’re planning to get married next summer. We’re both in our early 20s and have been together for about four years.
On paper, I truly couldn’t ask for a better person to marry. He’s an amazing guy, has been my rock through some really difficult times, and makes me incredibly happy. We share the same beliefs and have very similar ideas about what we want our future to look like. My family and friends absolutely love him, and I genuinely believe he would be an amazing husband and father.

But I’ve been struggling with something that I can’t seem to get past. I’ve lived independently about three hours away from my family for the past three years while going through nursing school. I’ve always hated being away from them. I’m extremely close with my parents and especially close with my younger siblings, who are quite a bit younger than me. Being present for their lives is really important to me, and I’ve realized by being away that I really want to be involved with them, not just holidays and occasional visits.

This summer, my family moved to another state, which has made everything feel even more complicated. If I weren’t getting married, I would probably move home after graduation and live with my family.

Instead, getting married next summer would mean moving away from them again and essentially beginning a completely separate life. And that thought genuinely breaks my heart.

My fiancé and I have talked about eventually moving closer to my family after we get married, and he is open to the idea. But there’s no guarantee that it will happen, and I’m struggling with the fact that I would be making this huge, permanent decision based partly on the hope that we can eventually live near them.

The confusing part is that I don’t necessarily want to leave my fiancé. I’m scared that I’m putting myself in a position where I have to choose between an incredible relationship and being close to the family I love so much. Ending the engagement feels like giving up an amazing future with someone I love, but getting married feels like giving up the possibility of being really present for my family during this stage of my life.

Has anyone else experienced something like this? Any advice?

Hi everyone! I was hoping to get some advice. My fiancé and I got engaged about 6 months ago, and we’ve since set our wedding date for next summer.

For some context, we’ve been together since our late teens, but we’ve been long-distance for the past 3 years because of college. I’ve also been living separately from my family for the past 3 years, aside from school breaks.
Now that I’m in what feels like my “last” childhood summer with my family, it’s really hitting me that getting married means leaving my family and starting a new chapter of my life.

What makes it harder is that my family recently moved across the country from where I go to college and where my fiancé lives. We had always planned to live together in our hometown after I graduate, but now my family is so far away, and I’m really struggling with that reality.
Part of me wishes I could just move back home with my family after college and not get married yet.

At the same time, I love my fiancé and genuinely want a future with him, and I worry that if I chose to move home instead, I might eventually regret that decision or feel like I put my life on hold while everyone else moved forward.

Delaying the wedding also doesn’t necessarily feel like the answer. I’m worried that it wouldn’t actually resolve these feelings and might just prolong the uncertainty.
I think a lot of what I’m feeling is grief over growing up, leaving my family, and realizing that this chapter of my life is ending. But I’m having a hard time figuring out whether this is normal pre-marriage anxiety that I need to work through, if this feeling will ever get better, or whether these feelings are trying to tell me something more important.

**TLDR:** I love my fiancé and want a future with him, but I’m struggling with the idea of leaving my family and starting this next chapter of my life. Part of me wants to move home and have more time with my family instead of getting married, but I’m afraid I’d regret walking away from a future with someone I love. How do you know whether this is normal grief about growing up and leaving home, or a sign that you aren’t ready to get married?

My fiancé (22M) and I (22F) recently got engaged and are getting married next June. Our parents are generously contributing about $15k that we can use however we want—whether that’s a wedding, a honeymoon, or a combination of both.

We currently have an 80-person wedding planned. We put down a $1,800 deposit on a beautiful venue, and honestly, on paper it’s exactly what I wanted. It’s a gorgeous venue, the guest list is intimate (I never wanted a huge wedding), the food and drinks are great, and we expect to come in around $12k, leaving about $3k for savings or a honeymoon.

The problem is… I’m just not sure I’m excited about having a wedding. I never really dreamed about my wedding growing up. I enjoy going to weddings, but I’ve never been someone who cared much about them. Sometimes it feels like weddings have become this huge social expectation that costs a ton of money, takes months of stressful planning, and leaves everyone with opinions about what you should have done differently. I enjoy planning, but thinking about my actual wedding day gives me anxiety.

After being together for five years (three of them long distance), all I really want is to be married and go on an amazing trip together. The part that excites me most about the wedding is walking down the aisle to my fiancé and getting married—not the big reception or the after-party.

Lately I’ve been wondering if we’d be happier canceling the wedding and instead having a micro wedding with 20–30 of our closest family and friends, then putting more of the money toward an incredible honeymoon. It feels more “us”—more intimate, less stressful, and we’d get to spend quality time with everyone who’s there.

At the same time, I worry we’d regret not having a bigger celebration. Weddings are one of the few times both families and all your friends come together to celebrate such a huge milestone, and part of me wonders if I’d feel like I missed out.

I also wonder whether the cost of the wedding is influencing my decision, for better or worse. My fiancé works full-time, but I’ll be graduating college, starting my career, and we’ll be moving in together for the first time. Part of me thinks having more money in savings could be more valuable than having a larger wedding, but I don’t know if that’s something I’d regret later.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd love any advice!

My fiancé (22M) and I (22F) recently got engaged and are getting married next June. Our parents are generously contributing about $15k that we can use however we want—whether that’s a wedding, a honeymoon, or a combination of both.

We currently have an 80-person wedding planned. We put down a $1,800 deposit on a beautiful venue, and honestly, on paper it’s exactly what I wanted. It’s a gorgeous venue, the guest list is intimate (I never wanted a huge wedding), the food and drinks are great, and we expect to come in around $12k, leaving about $3k for savings or a honeymoon.

The problem is… I’m just not sure I’m excited about having a wedding. I never really dreamed about my wedding growing up. I enjoy going to weddings, but I’ve never been someone who cared much about them. Sometimes it feels like weddings have become this huge social expectation that costs a ton of money, takes months of stressful planning, and leaves everyone with opinions about what you should have done differently. I enjoy planning, but thinking about my actual wedding day gives me anxiety.

After being together for five years (three of them long distance), all I really want is to be married and go on an amazing trip together. The part that excites me most about the wedding is walking down the aisle to my fiancé and getting married—not the big reception or the after-party.

Lately I’ve been wondering if we’d be happier canceling the wedding and instead having a micro wedding with 20–30 of our closest family and friends, then putting more of the money toward an incredible honeymoon. It feels more “us”—more intimate, less stressful, and we’d get to spend quality time with everyone who’s there.

At the same time, I worry we’d regret not having a bigger celebration. Weddings are one of the few times both families and all your friends come together to celebrate such a huge milestone, and part of me wonders if I’d feel like I missed out.

I also wonder whether the cost of the wedding is influencing my decision, for better or worse. My fiancé works full-time, but I’ll be graduating college, starting my career, and we’ll be moving in together for the first time. Part of me thinks having more money in savings could be more valuable than having a larger wedding, but I don’t know if that’s something I’d regret later.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd love any advice!

My fiancé (22M) and I (22F) recently got engaged and are getting married next June. Our parents are generously contributing about $15k that we can use however we want—whether that’s a wedding, a honeymoon, or a combination of both.

We currently have an 80-person wedding planned. We put down a $1,800 deposit on a beautiful venue, and honestly, on paper it’s exactly what I wanted. It’s a gorgeous venue, the guest list is intimate (I never wanted a huge wedding), the food and drinks are great, and we expect to come in around $12k, leaving about $3k for savings or a honeymoon.

The problem is… I’m just not sure I’m excited about having a wedding. I never really dreamed about my wedding growing up. I enjoy going to weddings, but I’ve never been someone who cared much about them. Sometimes it feels like weddings have become this huge social expectation that costs a ton of money, takes months of stressful planning, and leaves everyone with opinions about what you should have done differently. I enjoy planning, but thinking about my actual wedding day gives me anxiety.

After being together for five years (three of them long distance), all I really want is to be married and go on an amazing trip together. The part that excites me most about the wedding is walking down the aisle to my fiancé and getting married—not the big reception or the after-party.

Lately I’ve been wondering if we’d be happier canceling the wedding and instead having a micro wedding with 20–30 of our closest family and friends, then putting more of the money toward an incredible honeymoon. It feels more “us”—more intimate, less stressful, and we’d get to spend quality time with everyone who’s there.

At the same time, I worry we’d regret not having a bigger celebration. Weddings are one of the few times both families and all your friends come together to celebrate such a huge milestone, and part of me wonders if I’d feel like I missed out.

I also wonder whether the cost of the wedding is influencing my decision, for better or worse. My fiancé works full-time, but I’ll be graduating college, starting my career, and we’ll be moving in together for the first time. Part of me thinks having more money in savings could be more valuable than having a larger wedding, but I don’t know if that’s something I’d regret later.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I'd love any advice!

My fiancé and I have been going back and forth for weeks and have reached the point where we’re just burnt out.

We’d love some outside perspective because both options seem good, just with different tradeoffs.

Option 1:
Pros:
- Beautiful and more unique setting
- More intimate and romantic feel
- Better rain plan (but June wedding)
- Less expensive (leaves more room in our budget for our honeymoon)
- We’ve already booked it and paid the deposit

Cons:
- Sunday wedding
- About 45 minutes from where most guests live
- Hard guest limit of 85
- get ready off site and get dressed on site
- Requires a day-of coordinator

I'm not really sure how big of cons these are, but I'm worried they'll dramatically affect my wedding turnout/vibe. I may be overthinking these.

Option 2:
Pros:
- Saturday wedding
- Only about 10 minutes from most guests
- Unlimited guest count (only want to invite 100 max)
- Better rehearsal dinner logistics
- Coordination included

Cons:
- Nice venue but doesn’t feel as special to us
- Few thousand more expensive including lost deposit
- Reception is under a tent (doesn't feel as formal/pretty)

We want a fun wedding with dancing, but we’re not trying to throw a huge, wild party. We’d rather have a romantic, intimate dinner-party vibe with a good DJ and open bar.

Our “must invite” list is about 85 people. There are another 5–10 people we’d love to invite if space allowed, but they aren’t people we’d be heartbroken to leave out.

We don’t have a dream venue or a lifelong wedding vision. We honestly think both venues would be nice.

At this point, we’re just exhausted from analyzing every possible outcome. If you were in our shoes, would you:

Stay with the prettier, more intimate venue that’s already booked but has tighter logistics?

Switch to the more convenient venue with more flexibility, even though it doesn’t feel quite as special?

I’d especially love to hear from people who had a Sunday wedding, a smaller guest list, or chose between beauty vs. convenience. Looking back, what mattered most?

Hi everyone!
I’m overthinking one aspect of our wedding and would love some honest opinions from people who have been to or planned weddings.

Our wedding will be:
- Sunday in late June
- About an hour outside of town at a vineyard in Oregon
- Around 85 guests
- About 50% college-aged friends and 50% family/adult friends (many are rowdy)
- Open beer, wine, and cider bar (no liquor)
- Reception ending around 9:00–9:30 pm
- Dancing will either be indoors or outside under string lights, depending on the weather

The thing is… I keep seeing these incredible Instagram wedding videos where the dance floor is absolutely packed until late at night, and it’s making me worry ours won’t be like that.

The funny part is I’m not even someone who loves dancing for hours, but I guess I’m worried that if the dance floor isn’t packed, it’ll feel like the wedding wasn’t fun. I want a few good dances hopefully with the dancefloor feeling full.

For those who have attended weddings with similar circumstances (Sunday, earlier end time, beer/wine only, about an hour from town), what was the dance floor actually like?

Did people still dance? Did it feel like a great party, or did it die off early? If you were a guest, would these factors make you less likely to dance?

I’d really appreciate realistic expectations instead of Instagram expectations!

Hi everyone!

I’m hoping to get some advice about my wedding venue and overall wedding plans.

Before we started planning, my fiancé and I envisioned a smaller wedding focused on celebrating with our closest family and friends. We also wanted to keep the budget relatively modest so we could have money left over for our honeymoon.

With that vision in mind, we booked a beautiful vineyard venue for up to 85 guests. It fits within our budget, I love the venue itself, and we’re able to serve the food we want. Since it’s about 45 minutes outside of town and on a Sunday, it also has more of a destination-wedding feel. One of the biggest benefits is that we would still have money left over for our honeymoon.

However, as we’ve gotten further into planning, I’ve started to wonder whether I’m allowing outside expectations to influence what I want. I’ve found myself worrying about whether the Sunday date, travel time, and guest limit will be inconvenient for people, especially when comparing our plans to larger Saturday weddings.

Because of that, I recently found another venue closer to home. It costs a few thousand dollars more, can accommodate more guests, and has Saturday dates available. I can see how it might be easier for guests and allow us to invite more people. I also wonder if in turn, that will give us a better wedding experience?

Now I’m feeling torn. I love our current venue and the more intimate guest list, but I’m questioning whether the smaller capacity and Sunday date will make the wedding too inconvenient for our guests. At the same time, I don’t want to change our plans simply because I feel pressured to have a larger or more traditional wedding.

How do you decide whether to stick with the wedding you originally envisioned or make changes? Any advice?

Hi everyone!

I’m hoping to get some advice about my wedding venue and overall wedding plans.

Before we started planning, my fiancé and I envisioned a smaller wedding focused on celebrating with our closest family and friends. We also wanted to keep the budget relatively modest so we could have money left over for our honeymoon.

With that vision in mind, we booked a beautiful vineyard venue for up to 85 guests. It fits within our budget, I love the venue itself, and we’re able to serve the food we want. Since it’s about 45 minutes outside of town and on a Sunday, it also has more of a destination-wedding feel. One of the biggest benefits is that we would still have money left over for our honeymoon.

However, as we’ve gotten further into planning, I’ve started to wonder whether I’m allowing outside expectations to influence what I want. I’ve found myself worrying about whether the Sunday date, travel time, and guest limit will be inconvenient for people, especially when comparing our plans to larger Saturday weddings.

Because of that, I recently found another venue closer to home. It costs a few thousand dollars more, can accommodate more guests, and has Saturday dates available. I can see how it might be easier for guests and allow us to invite more people. I also wonder if in turn, that will give us a better wedding experience?

Now I’m feeling torn. I love our current venue and the more intimate guest list, but I’m questioning whether the smaller capacity and Sunday date will make the wedding too inconvenient for our guests. At the same time, I don’t want to change our plans simply because I feel pressured to have a larger or more traditional wedding.

How do you decide whether to stick with the wedding you originally envisioned or make changes? Any advice?

Has anyone else felt overwhelmingly sad about getting married because it meant leaving your family?

I’m 22, recently engaged to an amazing man that I truly love, and we’re planning our wedding for next summer.

The thing is… my family recently moved to another state.
I’ve always been incredibly close with them. Growing up, I never imagined we’d all live so far apart. Right now I’m finishing nursing school, and after I graduate I’ll be getting married and starting my life with my fiancé where he lives. I’m excited to marry him, I don’t have doubts about him or our relationship.

But every time I think about the wedding, I also think about what it symbolizes. It feels like the end of an era. Instead of imagining my future, I find myself grieving the fact that I won’t be able to just drive over to my parents’ house for dinner or spend random weekends with my siblings anymore.

Part of me even wishes I could delay the wedding just to have more time with my family while they’re all together.
Then I feel guilty because I am excited to get married. And if I'm not ready now, I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready.

Did anyone else experience this? Does the sadness eventually get replaced by excitement, or is it normal to feel like you’re mourning one chapter while looking forward to another? Any advice?

I’d really love to hear from people who have gone through something similar.

Has anyone else felt overwhelmingly sad about getting married because it meant leaving your family?

I’m 22, recently engaged to an amazing man that I truly love, and we’re planning our wedding for next summer. The thing is… my family recently moved to another state.
I’ve always been incredibly close with them. Growing up, I never imagined we’d all live so far apart. Right now I’m finishing nursing school, and after I graduate I’ll be getting married and starting my life with my fiancé where he lives. I’m excited to marry him, I don’t have doubts about him or our relationship.

But every time I think about the wedding, I also think about what it symbolizes. It feels like the end of an era. Instead of imagining my future, I find myself grieving the fact that I won’t be able to just drive over to my parents’ house for dinner or spend random weekends with my siblings anymore.

Part of me even wishes I could delay the wedding just to have more time with my family while they’re all together. Then I feel guilty because I am excited to get married. But part of me wants to stop everything and just live with my family post-grad.

Did anyone else experience this? Does the sadness eventually get replaced by excitement, or is it normal to feel like you’re mourning one chapter while looking forward to another?

I’d really love to hear from people who have gone through something similar.

I recently planned my wedding and budget and we are expecting to pay around 14k for our entire wedding. This isn't huge compared to a lot of peoples budget but it feels INSANE to spend on one day. My parents are paying for 12k of it, which is a huge blessing, but still feels like so much money for one day. Are weddings even worth it? Will I regret spending that much? Or am I blessed to have my wedding cost be so small? Would love some insight or a reality check

Other note: cost is for 100 guest wedding. The cost doesn't put us in a bad place, I just feel like it could be used for something more practical

I recently planned my wedding and budget and we are expecting to pay around 14k for our entire wedding. This isn't huge compared to a lot of peoples budget but it feels INSANE to spend on one day. My parents are paying for 12k of it, which is a huge blessing, but still feels like so much money for one day. Are weddings even worth it? Will I regret spending that much? Or am I blessed to have my wedding cost be so small? Would love some insight or a reality check

Other note: cost is for 100 guest wedding. The cost doesn't put us in a bad place, I just feel like it could be used for something more practical

Hi everyone! I'm early into the wedding planning process and I'm debating between 2 wedding options! I would love input from anyone about what the best way to go is!

Option 1: 12k
- prettier venue
- Sunday date
- 1 hour away
- 85 guest cap
- amazing alcohol
- okay food
- more restrictions

Option 2: 13.5-14k
- venue less pretty (reception in tent)
- Saturdays date
- local, 10 minutes away
- no guest cap, but want around 100 guests
- amazing food
- decent alcohol
- less restrictions

To me, option 1 will look better for a lower price, but I'm worried about some of the other logistics. Option 2 costs a bit more, but may be easier? I really just want to have a pretty, nice, and joyful wedding!

Any advice?

Hi everyone!

I recently got engaged and started wedding planning, and I'm completely shocked at how expensive they are.

Context on my situation: My fiancé works full time and I will be graduating nursing school with no debt next summer. My parents are giving us 15k for our wedding, honeymoon, or future, whatever we want to spend it on!

We have a few friends in the wedding industry and are able to do our whole wedding for around 14k. But even that feels so insanely expensive for one day of our lives. I can't stop thinking about how that money could help furnish our house, help us take a crazy honeymoon, or just go into savings.

I don't want to regret not having a wedding, but the price is seriously hard to get behind. Any advice?

Hi everyone!

I recently got engaged and started wedding planning, and I'm completely shocked at how expensive they are.

Context on my situation: My fiancé works full time and I will be graduating nursing school with no debt next summer. My parents are giving us 15k for our wedding, honeymoon, or future, whatever we want to spend it on!

We have a few friends in the wedding industry and are able to do our whole wedding for around 14k. But even that feels so insanely expensive for one day of our lives. I can't stop thinking about how that money could help furnish our house, help us take a crazy honeymoon, or just go into savings.

I don't want to regret not having a wedding, but the price is seriously hard to get behind. Any advice?