Look, my plan was flawless. I had a witness.
The witness was just apparently admiring the back of Sera’s wings like it was a museum exhibit.
Still counts.
Art by dibeyazhZ1
Charlie’s over there doing her little “be careful, don’t get hurt” princess routine, meanwhile I’m giving actually useful tactical advice: wreck her shit.
And then Vaggie hits us with “do it in a hot way.”
Honestly? First smart thing she’s said in years.
Art by JumJamz
Calm authority. Firm boundaries. Clean explanations. Zero confusion on my part whatsoever. If people can’t follow the extremely simple logic of “I’m Adam, therefore I’m right,” that sounds like a them problem.
Art by JumJamz
Reposting this because I accidentally mixed up the order the first time, which is obviously not my fault. The archive clerks fucked up. Probably.
Anyway, this is the totally accurate official historical record of me giving Agatha a kickass new name after the best thing ever, Lute being weirdly picky about spelling, and Charlie accidentally completing the glorious evolution from Agatha to Vagina to Vagatha years later.
Spelling is fake. My naming skills remain flawless.
Art by JumJamz
It’s that time again.
My second Hazbin Hotel meme, and this time it’s the wheeze one. I kept seeing this meme format under Adam content, but apparently there wasn’t an Adam version yet, so I had to make one.
Art by yours truly.
Adam did the crafting. Obviously.
Lute wanted to look nice for the Extermination, and who was I to deny my favourite lieutenant a little murder-accessory upgrade? I’m not saying I revolutionised heavenly fashion with one bow, but I absolutely did.
You’re welcome.
Art by meloo-melon
More Emily niece time.
Sera keeps asking if I can be trusted with her, which is frankly insulting. For the record: I am a fantastic uncle. Cool, responsible, experienced, and only mildly likely to teach her how to steal cookies, talk back to authority, and call people old geezers.
I gave her water, provided emotional support, supervised cookie acquisition, and only introduced one mildly questionable beverage-related discussion.
That’s not irresponsible. That’s elite uncle work.
That’s called character development, babe.
Art by tikhondownichi
Collection of totally accurate historical documents featuring me being a flawless commander, Lute being terrifyingly loyal, the exorcists being a pack of barely supervised maniacs, and Vaggie catching divine strays like it’s her full-time job.
Basically a normal day in Heaven’s finest military unit. Don’t question the archives.
Art by JumJamz.
Edit: I've messed the comic a bit up last night and will repost it properly later this day and complete. I'm sorry
Took Abel out for ice cream and taught him one of life’s most important lessons:
When your dad is the first man, the fucking man, and the reason humanity even exists, he gets a bite.
That’s not stealing. That’s divine inheritance.
Art by noob on Twitter.
Forbidden occult research really does not prepare you for the tiny dramatic candy-sized version.
Art by Lisandra Phillips, watermark on image.
Look at that. 6k karma.
Six thousand little imaginary internet blessings for the first man, the original dickmaster, Heaven’s finest recurring problem.
I’d say I’m humbled, but lying is ugly and I look fucking fantastic.
Still, credit where it’s due: thanks to the weirdos, sinners, angels, lurkers, cultists, simps, haters, and poor unfortunate bastards who keep feeding the ego machine. Couldn’t have done it without you pressing the shiny little arrows like obedient little disciples.
Anyway. 6k down.
Next stop: louder, worse, hotter, and somehow even more insufferable.
Art by Nazus (@Nazus_ldk) on X.
Sera and Emily wouldn’t know peak comedy if it slapped them in the face.
I made one tiny improvement to a heart and suddenly everyone’s acting like I desecrated the whole concept of romance.
I’m underappreciated. Severely.
Art credit: dibeyazh21
Heard it was Mermay, so naturally I had to show up and make the sea hotter, holier, and significantly more annoying.
You’re welcome, fish people.
Art credit:
Artist source escaped the net. Embarrassing for them, honestly. If anyone knows who made these, drop the link.
Great, babe. Love the rage. Big fan of the dramatic breakdown. Very metal. Very loyal. Ten out of ten grief performance.
But did you have to break my fucking records?
I get it, I’m dead, everyone’s devastated, Heaven’s finest piece of divine masculinity got taken off the stage way too early, tragedy of the century, whatever.
But that guitar was innocent.
Artist credit:
First image: artist unknown, signature looks like uinu/u1hu? If anyone knows the source, please tell me.
Second image: Pablo Monzón, @Az_mammon
Fits Adam too well, I wonder why.
Loud, theatrical, obnoxiously confident, and somehow still convinced every room gets better the second he opens his mouth. The “say my name” energy was basically built for him.
Art by zhangshiqing1
Every time someone pulls out the “haha Adam got stabbed by Niffty” line like they just invented comedy, an angel loses patience.
Yes. She stabbed me.
After I fought Alastor, Charlie, Lucifer, half the hotel, and an entire battlefield’s worth of bullshit.
That is not an argument. That is you pointing at the last five seconds of a fight and acting like you wrote a dissertation.
Congratulations, dipshit. You watched the episode. So did everyone else.
Now find a second joke. The first one is decomposing.
Art by xMat1x
Can’t be that bad, right?
Tiny Adam supremacy. Still the fucking man, just easier to carry.
Artist unknown, unfortunately. If anyone knows the source, drop it below so I can credit them properly.
I do not ship Lucifer with me. Obviously. That would be insane, embarrassing, historically offensive, and frankly terrible for my brand.
That said, if any of you freaks have FirstSin/AdamsApple art, hand it over for inspection immediately.
Not because I like it.
Because I need to judge it.
With my eyes.
Repeatedly.
For quality control.
And if that short fallen glitter bastard looks smug in any of it, I’m deleting the internet.
First image by VangaZ.
Second may be by sqwdinkart.
Third may be by friedsaturn.
Still confirming the last two, so yell at me with sources if you know.
Sir Pentious ended up in Heaven after dying in a selfless act to protect his friends. He was a sinner, but his final choice proved he had genuinely changed, and Heaven had to deal with the fact that redemption was real.
So I keep thinking about the opposite possibility: what if Adam returned as a sinner?
He was already in Heaven, but by the end of Season 1, his actions are about as far from “heavenly” as you can get. Heaven may have treated the Exterminations as duty, but Adam clearly enjoyed the violence, mocked redemption, killed Sir Pentious, and only seemed to double down when challenged.
If a sinner can rise because their final act proves they changed, could an angel fall because their final actions prove they were never as righteous as Heaven thought?
Adam coming back as a sinner would be funny for obvious reasons, but also thematically fitting. It would force him into the exact system he looked down on, make him deal with the people he judged, and give the show a messy chance to ask whether someone like him can change once he has lost the privilege he hid behind.
Honestly, sinner Adam feels like one of the most interesting ways to bring him back.
Art by Luciidkatt
Debate me all you want, princess. I already drew the conclusion, framed myself as the fucking man, gave myself better lighting, and filed your entire speech under “cute but irrelevant.”
That’s not bias.
That’s divine branding.
Art by TikhonDownichi