u/Other_Marsupial_8786

Im very newly diagnosed (as in literally one week ago). Since my diagnosis ive sort of spiraled a bit. Now I view all my behaviors through the lens of OCD. In some ways I think it's good, im more cognizant of my obsessions and compulsions. On the other hand, I dont think every behavior is OCD related but my brain wants to put it into a neat little box like that.

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Anyways, in thinking about my behaviors and talking to my therapist, I've realized I suffer greatly with reassurance seeking. Whether it be googling things (to see others experiences), asking my friends/family, etc, I am CONSTANTLY needing reassurance. Especially when it comes to "will I be alright". I didnt see it as a compulsion before but now that I know it genuinely is because once I do it I get a little bit of a dopamine hit and my brain goes "okay youre safe... for now". And once that wears off I need to ask someone again. It's such a vicious cycle. I always thought I was just sensitive and needed support but I think it may be hurting me.

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If you are a reassurance seeker like I, how did you go about trying ERP for it? Is it just an abstinence sort of thing? Please share your experiences (honestly not sure if this is reassurance seeking in and of itself? Like I said Im questioning everyrhing)

TW: brief mentions of suicidal thoughts

6 weeks postpartum and had scheduled this appt way back in beginning of February. I knew that I was going to have issues with PPD/PPA (I have a long history of depression/anxiety) so tried to get in as soon as I could. Since giving birth in end of March my mood has tanked and ive been having horrible depressive episodes, panic attacks, and passive suicidal thoughts. I've reached out multiple times overs the past few weeks trying to get a sooner appt, they didnt have one.

Today I finally had my psychiatrist appt, hoping things would get better. That he'd listen to me. He asked me what meds im on--Prozac and buspar I told him-- to which I said they aren't helping me at all and im still incredibly depressed. He didnt ask for any clarification of symptoms or even what I was experiencing. He just said let's try bumping up the Prozac. He asked me about my baby and if hes doing well to whcih I said yes. He then said "you know that SSRIs do pass through breastmilk". Like okay?? What am I supposed to do, stop it entirely? I get its a liability thing but Im already in a fucking dark place and to have him seem to care more about my baby then whether on not I want to die is wild. I even put that Im having SI on my PHQ-9 and he made no mention of it.

I then asked him about a medication called Zurzuvae for PPD, he says he has no idea about it. Silence. I say, okay can you find out? He says yeah I guess I can look into it. He does a cursory google and says I have no idea about this med but its $16,000 for two weeks and I say okay well how can I go about getting it/finding out if my insurance will cover it. He says he'll try to check with his staff but no promises.

Three months. Four minute phone call. Absolutely no empathy felt like I was talking to a fucking robot. He did not once ask me how I was or even tell me that he hopes things get better. Whats the fucking point of this?

6 weeks postpartum and had scheduled this appt way back in beginning of February. I knew that I was going to have issues with PPD/PPA (I have a long history of depression/anxiety) so tried to get in as soon as I could. Since giving birth in end of March my mood has tanked and ive been having horrible depressive episodes, panic attacks, and passive suicidal thoughts. I've reached out multiple times overs the past few weeks trying to get a sooner appt, they didnt have one.

Today I finally had my psychiatrist appt, hoping things would get better. That he'd listen to me. He asked me what meds im on--Prozac and buspar I told him-- to which I said they aren't helping me at all and im still incredibly depressed. He didnt ask for any clarification of symptoms or even what I was experiencing. He just said let's try bumping up the Prozac. He asked me about my baby and if hes doing well to whcih I said yes. He then said "you know that SSRIs do pass through breastmilk". Like okay?? What am I supposed to do, stop it entirely? I get its a liability thing but Im already in a fucking dark place and to have him seem to care more about my baby then whether on not I want to die is wild. I even put that Im having SI on my PHQ-9 and he made no mention of it.

I then asked him about a medication called Zurzuvae for PPD, he says he has no idea about it. Silence. I say, okay can you find out? He says yeah I guess I can look into it. He does a cursory google and says I have no idea about this med but its $16,000 for two weeks and I say okay well how can I go about getting it/finding out if Kaiser will cover it. He says he'll try to check with his staff but no promises.

Three months. Four minute phone call. Absolutely no empathy felt like I was talking to a fucking robot. He did not once ask me how I was or even tell me that he hopes things get better. Whats the fucking point of this?