u/Outrageous-Trade2232

Hi all, I know I recently posted about this and I apologize for all the previous errors but I have a different issue with the same situation and could use advice.

As previously mentioned I’m having an issue with my mom wanting to come over to my fiancé and I’s apartment multiple times a month and my fiancé feeling that it is an infringement on his space and privacy. My family dynamic and my fiancé’s are a bit different. He typically only sees his family on birthdays and holidays, and occasionally will meet up with them maybe a few times a year outside of that, if that. Meanwhile I’ve always been pretty close to my parents and before we fully moved in together I was still living with them part time. Or when I used to live on my own, my mom would come and visit multiple times a month and even stay the night over the weekend. Of course this wasn’t an issue because I lived alone at the time. My mom can be a bit overbearing and pushy and we’ve had issues in the past of her wanting to come over multiple times a month, sometimes with only a day or less than a day’s notice.

My fiancé prefers his space and doesn’t want parents or family to come over to the apartment more than once every other month. This also includes his own family. Unfortunately this has caused issues with my mom because she is used to coming over and seeing me more often than that. But she’s very pushy about it and does not respect my boundaries and resorts to saying disrespectful things about my fiancé whenever I’ve told her that she couldn’t come over. She automatically just blames him and doesn’t respect when I tell her it’s not a good time to come over. Now this has caused conflict with both my mom and I and my fiancé and I.

My mom claims my fiancé is controlling and is trying to keep me away from her. Which isn’t the case. He doesn’t care if I go see her or go out with her. He just doesn’t want her at the apartment all the time. She for whatever reason wants to come over to the apartment to visit and my fiancé feels like she’s inserting herself into our relationship and he just wants alone time with me and also for himself. He claims he doesn’t want my mom to come over to the apartment more than once every other month and that outside of that I can go see her or go out and get dinner but he doesn’t want her over.

The thing is if the roles were reversed I wouldn’t mind his family coming over one to two times a month. But I feel like he’s putting his foot down because as you all know from my previous post, my mom is very overbearing and has kind of narcissistic tendencies. And he also said since he pays the rent he should essentially get more of a say but considering we’re going to be married I feel we both have equal say. And she’s still my mom and I feel like if I told her she’s only allowed to visit the apartment every other month it would ruin our relationship. I’m trying to be respectful of my partner’s wishes while also still allowing my mom to come over maybe once a month which my fiancé says is too much.

This whole thing has put me in the middle and I feel like no matter what I do, I can’t make everyone happy and I don’t know how to appease everyone. Any advice or thoughts on how to handle this situation would be much appreciated.

TLDR: still having an issue with my mom wanting to come over multiple times a month. Fiancé only wants her to come over once every other month. Feeling hopeless like I’m stuck in the middle of this and don’t know how to make everyone happy. I love my fiancé and love my mom and wish we could all come to an agreement.

I signed up for a new credit card and it was supposed to be delivered within 7-10 days. It was never delivered to me and I was about to call the credit card company about it but I woke up to 20 charges, mostly online gambling, clothing purchases, and an IPSY makeup bag purchase totaling $343. I already called the fraud department with my credit card company and they’re sending me a new card and investigating. But I feel like the fact that I never received the physical card tells me it must have been intercepted or maybe delivered to the wrong address and someone just used the numbers to make online purchases. However, I do know the IPSY purchase would likely have this person’s address since that company ships products to you. I’m just debating whether or not it’s worth to file a report. TYIA.

For context, my mom has always been a bit overbearing and doesn’t know boundaries. I’ve been with my fiancé for 2.5 years and have lived with him for almost 1.5 years. When we first started living together, I moved into his apartment in the city and my mom rarely wanted to come visit because she refused to drive in the city. We’ve now moved to a different apartment outside the city. She asks basically every week or every other week to come over and see me. I see her regularly in a month, like at least 2-3 times, plus all holidays and birthdays. My fiancé gets annoyed by her wanting to come over all the time because for one he’s a grown man and wants his space and two, usually when she wants to come over she only gives a few hours to a days notice and he doesn’t like that. Which I can understand. I wouldn’t like if his family did that either.

Today it was especially bad. She asked me to come over and I said no because I haven’t felt well and I work full time, as does my fiancé and we’re tired and just want to decompress after work and not have to entertain. I know we don’t necessarily have to because she’s my mom but we’re both pretty introverted and have low social batteries. Especially after a long day. I was sick the other day and she decided to drive her unannounced to bring me stuff after she said she was going to come the following day. She lied and said no I said today (she did not, she always lies and manipulates to get her way) and my fiancé was annoyed because we didn’t have a chance to clean or prepare for them to come in and he didn’t want to deal with people so I just went down to go get what she brought.

Anyway, I told her no for today, that my fiancé is on call tonight, I also work and am still not feeling well. She blew up on me saying how he’s so controlling and he’s keeping me away from her. I explained this is not the case and that he has no issues with me seeing my family but that we’re both adults and he likes his space and privacy, especially during the week. She started bashing him saying he’s controlling and she’s seen it from day one and that how dare I let a man dictate our relationship and when she gets to see me. Then started accusing him of having a problem with her to which I said wasn’t the case and that there just needs to be some boundaries. And she said “I’m not the type of mother who needs boundaries.” …anyway. It just got ugly. I also said if his mother was doing what she was doing she would have something to say about it and it’s hypocritical that she thinks it’s ok to constantly intrude but if anyone in his family were to do it she would be talking so much crap on them.

Then she started with the guilt tripping saying I’ll regret this, and that he’s obsessive and I’m allowing him to control me and who I see (again. Not true). I just said specifically when coming over to the apartment and asking to come over all the time is a lot because he just wants his privacy and to feel comfortable in his own home and that it’s ok that she comes over but not like every week or every other week. Then she said was like “what do I do that makes him uncomfortable hello that’s fucking weird” then she accused him of watching porn and also accused him of poisoning my overnight oats because I was sick (again. Absolutely insane). Any time she asks to come over or basically anytime I say no to anything with her, it is always guilt tripping, manipulation, bashing my fiancé and saying horrible things about him and making me feel like I’m a horrible person. Please help.

TLDR; my mom constantly disrespects my fiancé and I and wants to come over whenever she feels like it and when we say no, she attacks me and my fiancé and makes crazy accusations and statements.

EDIT: I apologize for the post being pasted twice and confusing something happened on my end and I thought it was deleted and I retyped it. But it didn’t. Sorry, I’m only human. It should be fixed now.

Update: I showed her the post. So maybe she would understand and realize she is being insane. Nope. She said how dare I betray her and listen to such evil people. Said she’s not trying to control me and threw it up in my face how much she does for me (I don’t ask her for things. She just does them and then throws it in my face later) and then brought up my fiancé’s mother saying she’s horrible for never coming to see him and that she’s a great mother and I’m an ungrateful daughter. She said she’s “fucking done with me” and my fiancé and that she doesn’t even know me and to leave her alone and that she won’t be bothering us ever again. Then she blocked me on all social media and my number. *sighs* it is so exhausting being her daughter.

Update 2: also to add, to everyone saying I shouldn’t be throwing my fiancé under the bus you are absolutely right. That was never my intention but I see now how wording it the way I did can put a target on his head which was never my intent. From now on when I tell her no, it will be from me and only me. I apologized to my fiancé and told him I’m sorry if I made him feel like he was being thrown to the wolves and I should’ve done a better job at protecting him and defending him. He was very appreciative of this and told me that he understands I never meant it that way and loves me very much. And that he knows how hard my mom is to deal with but he appreciates me acknowledging that and stepping up. Thank you for all your advice🩷

Has anyone experienced palpitations when going up in dose on Tirosint? I was originally on 75 mcg Synthroid and I requested to be switched to Tirosint because the synthroid wasn’t working for me. My doctor gave me samples of the Tirosint, 1 pack was 10 gel caps of 88 mcg and then the rest were 100 mcg. I was completely fine on the 88 mcg but I started the first dose of 100 mcg and my blood pressure is elevated (142/87) and I feel horrible and am having palpitations. I called to ask if that was normal and they said they’d call me back but I haven’t heard anything. Any advice?

Hi all, so I asked my doctor to switch me to Tirosint because Synthroid has made me feel horrible and hasn’t worked for me. Does anyone have experience with differences between the name brand vs generic? I can only afford the generic at the moment and I figured since there’s only 4 ingredients there probably isn’t much of a difference but as we all know even though they say there’s no differences between certain meds (such as generic levo and synthroid) we all know that’s not entirely true. I was just curious if anyone could share their experiences! TYIA!

I saw a comment on here that said to get on the pomegranate website on your laptop/computer and try to pay for the medication on there and it worked!! If you’re trying to do this on your phone I’m guessing their mobile patient portal isn’t working but when I logged onto their website on the computer, it showed up and I was able to pay. Hoping there are no more issues from here on but we shall see. Hope this helps someone bc I know lots of people are having the same issue!

Hi! So I went online as a new patient and filled out the online questionnaire and also filled out the form that was emailed to me and paid the $75 for the consultation that should be going towards my medication. I had an appointment scheduled for today with Paulene at 4pm EST but when I went on the patient portal today it’s saying I haven’t finished the questionnaire and it wants me to put in my card number and pay again after I’ve already been charged. I tried to send a message through the patient portal but it won’t let me… please help lol.

Update: I emailed support@joinpomegranate.com and called their phone number and haven’t heard back yet. If all else fails I did schedule the appointment through the website and got a confirmation email, theoretically the provider should be calling me? I was just confused about the time of the appointment because I guess the schedule is based on MST not EST. Thanks to everyone in the comments for their help!

Update 2: I received my telehealth call! Yay! Paulene was super sweet and helpful and very apologetic about the patient portal situation and said their IT team was fixing it. I think between the influx of orders and issues with the patient portal, that’s likely why initial communication wasn’t the best but I am hopeful once they get it fixed it will be smooth sailing!

Apologies in advance because this is probably going to be long, but I really need outside opinions.

For context, my mom has struggled with alcohol abuse for the past 5-6 years. She has a lot of personal issues related to her marriage with my dad, and drinking became her coping mechanism. She was never physically dependent on alcohol or drinking every day, but once she started, she couldn’t stop. She would become mean, belligerent, and make really bad decisions while drunk. Recently, she stopped drinking completely and has genuinely stuck with it, which I’m proud of her for.

Now onto the issue:

My younger brother is graduating high school in two weeks, and my mom asked me for restaurant recommendations since I used to live in the city where we’re celebrating and know of some good seafood places. They ended up choosing a lowkey seafood restaurant on the water, and I made the reservation.

Today, my mom texted me asking whether my boyfriend and I planned on ordering drinks at the restaurant. I told her we had planned on maybe getting one drink with our meal, but nothing beyond that. She then started guilt-tripping me, saying it would be too tempting for her and basically how dare I even think of ordering a drink. I responded by saying that I’m an adult and can make my own decisions, and also pointed out that we’re going to a public waterfront restaurant where plenty of other people will obviously be drinking around her anyway. I also said that if the environment itself is too tempting, then maybe that restaurant isn’t the best choice for her right now.

That’s when things escalated. She got angry, called me a bad daughter, and accused both me and my boyfriend of being alcoholics ourselves if we “can’t go one day without drinking.” That honestly upset me because that’s not the situation at all. My boyfriend and I rarely go out to eat, this is a special occasion, and the restaurant has a fun vacation-type atmosphere. I genuinely didn’t think having one fruity cocktail with dinner would be a huge deal.
I told her I didn’t appreciate the way she was speaking about me or my boyfriend and that it felt disrespectful. To which she responded by calling me a selfish brat and pulled the “I am your mother, how dare you” card.

Eventually, I relented and told her we would not drink because, at the end of the day, this dinner is about my brother and I don’t want to jeopardize her sobriety. But I also told her that her sobriety is ultimately her responsibility, and I don’t think it’s fair to police other adults’ drinking when the issue is hers, especially in an environment where tons of people will likely be drinking around us anyway.

Also, to add more context, she has never previously had an issue with us drinking around her, even during past periods where she temporarily stopped drinking. There have also been times where she drank “just a few” and sometimes it ended badly, while other times it didn’t. I fully understand that addiction is difficult and that people need support while battling it. I genuinely do understand that.

But at the same time, because of her drinking, my brother and I have both been put through a lot over the years. Now that she’s sober, she acts like she’s the victim and doesn’t really acknowledge the extent of her previous behavior. She blames my dad entirely for her drinking. She also refuses to acknowledge that she actually struggled with alcoholism. In her mind, she just “drinks too much sometimes because she was depressed,” whereas I personally feel that not being able to stop once you start absolutely is a form of alcoholism.

To me, refusing to acknowledge those things feels like a lack of accountability, which I think is part of why this situation frustrates me so much. I’m also frustrated because she’s trying to police my boyfriend and I when we both work hard, support ourselves, rarely go out because we’re saving for our upcoming engagement and marriage, and simply wanted to enjoy one drink with our meal.

Now she’s acting like I’m selfish and insensitive, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m in the wrong here.

AITA?

Hi all! I’m new to the group but not new to compounded tirzepatide. I was started on it originally with my PCP but it got too expensive, then I tried Gimme Care and had a bad experience with them. I’ve heard great things about pomegranate but I’m hesitant due to the bad experience I had with gimme care. So here are some questions I have:

1. Do they require labs in order to issue a prescription or if I explain to them I’ve been on compounded tirzepatide before and had no side effects, will they prescribe it without labs?

2. Do they require labs regularly? If so how often?

3. How long does shipping realistically take? I know it says 7-10 business days but is that usually true or does it sometimes take longer? I experienced 2+ weeks to ship with Gimme Care

4. How long does it take for customer service to respond to messages? Again, with gimme care, it was multiple days with no response and getting pawned to a different rep and many of the issues/questions often got lost in translation due to inconsistencies

TYIA!