u/Outrageous_Cod_4175

Below me ##

Aurgh

.

Every Day i have 3 simple goals

\-read a minimum of 10 pages

\-do work outs in My Room (as an example:10 push-ups)

\-chores

Obviously there are The smaller ones which i struggle with like

\-apply acne Cream

\-try to go to The gym/rockclimbing

\-walk The dog

Etc

I'm still FIGURING THOSE out.

But anyways.

Simple question, i barely got sleep,i was restless The WHOLE Day i could only read 2 pages.

Every small thing was just too much, IS IT okay to just relax and not try in that case

Like i dont wanna stop doing shit just because i'm stressed, i dont feel stressed yet i know i am because well i'm autistic and i've gotten all of My ticks/stims come back WITH My vocal one too that i so rarely do. AND ofcourse The soothing ones obv.

What am i supposed to do cuz i cant just Quit doing stuff like then Id Be lazy and that's not good If i wanna have My Life together and it'd Be so hard to come Back If i rot in bed all Summer.

It's Summer i'm not supposed to Be stressed yet i stim so much, now ITS like full hand movements like For minutes

For More context

I stim a lot when i'm stressed i'm one of THOSE people that stims this much only when stressed

And i'm having full hand movements It's like so Extreme that i'm like shocked

I'm feeling a little depressed, and i know the reason why i'm feeling this way.

It's honestly just because i'm so lazy and i Aren't doing anything to take My mind off you know. Whenever i try i just feel tired and like its "too much Work".

Unrelated but: The only things i've discovered that do help and dont take effort are books and videos/movies/series.

But it's just so difficult to search For The right one, and searching only makes it worse.

Summer depression just came and well ive been trying to get rid of it any way i can, also i doomscroll a lot and id wanna stop that and actually watch shows so any suggestions?

I started pondering on this question Because Well

as i was doing some excrecise

My crush's (not sure if My crush anymore).. Eyes landed on a sertain place.. And his expression changed (into that kind of expression)

Now this is the same guy Who has not given me literally anything for months (like no looks no nothing)

Except now.

Now first i thought "maybe its just him"

But i started thinking.. What if this is the case for all men (majority)

That.. What if no one really thinks as Deeply about attention (ETC.) as i do?

IF its just some visual thing

With no layers for men.

Also yeah My crush (???) is infact a man