u/Ov0v0vO

Anyone else want to stop at "just 2" or not drink at all with me today?

I am trying to stop at 2 right now.

I was really surprised to find out in my experience with psilocybin you're still very much present and aware of the reality in front of you, even as it distorts.

But I know some hallucinogens completely disconnect you from reality and all you can see is the spirit world or the hallucination world.

What is ayahuasca like? Can you still interact with the people and environment around you or are you just gone?

I stopped keeping alcohol in the house because when I have it, I drink it, and usually more than I set out to.

So if I open a bottle of wine and tell myself I'll only have one glass I would end up having all 4. Or If I have a bottle of liquor I would drink 4-5 drinks at a time (that gets me drunk but stops me before severe hangover). And if I told myself I wouldn't drink that day, but saw that bottle of wine sitting there in the kitchen, I'd be too tempted and open it anyway.

So I stopped keeping alcohol im the house and would instead by only half bottles of wine, or minis.

I have been doing this for 2-3 months now and have successfully cut back to only having 1-2 drinks at a time, most of the time.

Last night my friend who was visiting for a week gifted me two bottles of wine and 3/4 a bottle of whiskey because he couldn't fit them in his suitcase going back home.

I am trying to not drink for 3 of the next 5 days to beat my number of dry days last month.

I'd love some encouragement or advice about the alcohol in the house like how to think about it or reframe it, or how maybe 2-3 months has been long enough to break out of my old habits of drinking it just because it's there and actually I can do this.

The good thing is I don't like having more than one whisky drink because it makes me feel a little sick, and I really don't like one of the bottles of wine. So it's just the one rose bottle that I need to have restraint about.

Hi fellow cutter backers.

I am at a point in my drinking levels where if I want to cut down further, I am going to have to either turn down important blended social/work gatherings, or learn to simply not drink at them.

Turning them down is not really my preference. I gain a lot from our outings: socializing helps my anhedonia and depression; I learn a lot from and about my co-workers who are mostly smarter than me; I get opportunities to talk to bosses who are multiple levels higher than me about my work; and I simply enjoy "going out."

What drinking at these events currently provides me: I don't have very high self esteem, especially about my work, but having a drink or two boosts my confidence and I am better at articulating what I am working on and why it matters; I don't typically like talking about myself because I don't think I am interesting, to a point where it causes some disconnect in all of my relationships (friendly, work, romantic, family), whereas after a drink or two I more easily see how my background and life are very interesting or relevant to the conversation at hand; and lastly, I am a foodie, I really reallllly enjoy trying new hella fancy and weird craft cocktails, this brings me a lot of joy!

What are some ideas, tip, and tricks, for how I can make the lifestyle change to not drinking at every single social/work outing? I believe there will be some initial hurdles for making this change but that I will become used to it after time.

For context: we have a standing weekly happy hour, some combo of us usually goes out 1-2x on the weekends, and some combo of us usually has an impromptu/secret in-office happy hour 2-3x/week.

I lovvvvve eating out. I live somewhere (VHCOL) with excellent restaurants and I like going out to eat to celebrate life. I like to celebrate a good day or a hard week just sitting on the patio somewhere with my dog ( he gets food off the pup menu too).

Because of this joy, I have budgeted $500/month to eating out. This typically includes one or two $100 high end meals.

However now I have a few things I want to save up for to buy, and a few (allowed) high dollar purchases that just dinged my savings, and I want to replenish that money and save up new funds more quickly.

Eating out is by far the biggest discretionary spending envelope I have. Even one month of no eating out would make a big dent in my savings goals.

I have been working on cutting back already. Last month I kept it under $400. This month I am on track to keep it at $300.

So I am thinking of trying no dining out next month. The two exceptions would be if I get invited by friends or coworkers to a special occasion meal out. That typically happens 1-2x/month. And the other would be getting coffee out maybe 1x/week.

I want to set a reasonable goal. Is it reasonable to go from $300-$500 to near zero?

Do you have any advice for replacement activities or rituals for "celebrating life"?

So far I am thinking of stocking lots of cheat/easy/freezer meals that are similar to takeout like Kung Pao chicken and pot stickers, and also allowing myself to buy food at the grocery store hot bar maybe 1x/week.

What you think? Can I do this?!

I’m looking for some outside perspective from people who have dated after divorce.

I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2.5 months and we’re exclusive. Overall, he’s a wonderful person- emotionally intelligent, kind, smart, successful in his career, a great dad, and very supportive. We’re both recently divorced and both have kids, so we’ve connected on a lot of levels.

One thing I’m struggling with is his drinking. I enjoy alcohol too, so initially I didn’t think much of it. But as I’ve gotten to know him better, I’ve realized he drinks every day and has told me he typically needs a couple glasses of wine to fall asleep. When we’re together, we’ll usually have a few drinks, and when he goes out with friends he sometimes gets pretty drunk.

To be clear, he doesn’t become angry or mean when he drinks. If anything, he becomes overly affectionate and sentimental. However, I’m generally a very health-conscious person. I work out regularly, eat well, and only drink a few times a week. Alcoholism also runs in both of our families, and my dad is an alcoholic, so I’m probably more sensitive to this than the average person.

I’ve brought up my concerns, and he says he recognizes that he’s drinking more than he should and wants to get healthier. His explanation is that this has been a particularly stressful period following his divorce.

I really like him and want to continue exploring the relationship, but I’m also trying to be realistic and not ignore something that could become a much bigger issue down the road.

For those who have been in a similar situation, would daily drinking be a dealbreaker for you? Or is this something that could reasonably improve once life settles down after a divorce?

EDIT: Thanks for all the advice and support. We had a conversation this afternoon and it pretty much came down to him saying “Yeah I agree it’s not the best- I don’t like that I cope like this. I don’t know what you want me to do/ I don’t think I can change right now.” As much as it sucks to hear this, I’m glad I brought it up now and not months down the road. I’ve already been in a marriage where I ran myself ragged trying to change someone else’s behavior. Cutting ties 💔💔💔

I intended to microdose last week but instead took a low-grade trip on 1.5g of penis envy.

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It was an emotionally intense trip with a lot of overwhelm and crying.

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However, during the trip, I had to expend no effort whatsoever to be able to discern what was going on in my head, as in my thoughts, and in my feelings, and in my behaviors. I gained this superpower of incredibly deep and profound introspection with no effort whatsoever. Things were just laid bare for me to see plainly, all my problematic patterns and profound trauma effects.

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Since the trip ended, this superpower has continued. It has been a week and I am having incredible introspective insights every day that simply just arise and occur to me.

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I am an introspective person anyway: I have the will, capability, and desire to introspect regularly. However it usually takes some concerted effort on my part to really dive deep on my inner world.

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The depth and complexity of the insights I am having would ordinarily come into focus about once every couple or few months through therapy.

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I have had about 10 in the last week alone. I am having to keep a written list now so that I can bring this all to my therapist.

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How long will I have this unfettered direct connection to my inner world as a result of the psilocybin?

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I am so incredibly grateful.

I am seeking a dose that gives me a perceptible mood lift and shift, so something more than a microdose but far less than a full trip. I have low-grade treatment resistant depression and pretty desperate for some relief. I had one experience with 1g of psilocybin several years ago that provided months of relief from my depression symptoms, however I experienced mild visuals that time and was afraid to experience them again (I don't know why I was so resistant to experiencing visuals but my perception has shifted today).

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I used a penis envy chocolate bar on a fasted stomach first thing in the morning.

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I tried 500mg but felt absolutely nothing after 60mins, so then I took 1g.

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About 45 minutes later the initial part of the come up was amazing, I was super happy, pleasant mood, and everything was making me giggle like crazy. That went on for about an hour.

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Then I started feeling extraordinarily restless and "activated" and anxious, but still happy, so I went for a walk.

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While on the walk the come up continued to intensify such that I began to be completely overwhelmed by all the stimuli: the bright sun, the undulating trees and plants, the loud and fast cars driving by. I unexpectedly burst into tears at this point and was somehow simultaneously so happy and sad, rapidly switching between giggling and then crying, so I got myself home as quickly as possible.

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For the next 2-3 hours I alternated between waves of nausea, totally uncomfortable inconsolable restlessness, and bouts of uncontrollable crying. I also experienced some very mild but wonderful visual distortions: the pillows and comforter on my bed undulating like waves, the tree outside my window swaying and stretching and breathing.

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With the help of a Fireside Project trip sitter I did some introspection about all the thoughts and feelings I was having that were making me cry and I just sat through them. Although crying is seen as something negative, it did not feel bad or fearful for me, it was just very intense. I gathered some good insights that I will be bringing to my therapist for deeper processing.

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The worst part of the experience was the total anxious restlessness I felt. I wanted to jump out of my skin the whole time. How common is that feeling?

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The best part was all the giggling on the come up, then later the soft visuals. Unfortunately my nausea was so intense it would pull me out of my mellow visual moments.

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Just posting to share my experience in case there are any other microdosers or low-dosers on here.

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I think I will try just 1g off the bat next time.

I am an extraordinarily sensitive person and I am on a pediatric dose of an antipsychotic for mild PTSD flashbacks.

Today I took 1g of psilocybin (penis variety), and had almost no effects whatsoever. The effects I had (very pleasant mood, extra enjoyment of nature), were just as easily placebo.

For anyone wondering.

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After several months of diligently sticking to or even undershooting my already cushy budget, I had a blow-out month last month, wildly overspending on my "Wants" categories. By the end of the month it was so stressful opening my budgeting site and seeing so many envelopes in the red.

I just reset the envelopes for the month and everything is in the green again. A fresh start. Here's to a new budget month!

After months of diligently sticking to or even undershooting my already cushy budget, I had a blow-out month last month, wildly overspending on my "Wants" categories. By the end of the month it was so stressful opening my budgeting site and seeing so many envelopes in the red.

I just reset the envelopes for the month and everything is in the green again. A fresh start. Here's to a new budget month!

I am freaking out. I have a very expensive product I was expecting to be delivered today. I signed ahead of time so they could leave the package but instead they left a note on my door saying "signature required."

I then used the website to request they hold the package at a FedEx location for pickup.

Tonight I went to check the status of it, and it says "this tracking number cannot be found"!!!! Did someone pilfer my package because they figured out it was expensive?! Did it get lost?! How can I find it if the tracking number doesn't pull up anything?!

I consulted fedex.com but the only help articles about not being able to pull up tracking numbers are because FedEx hasn't received the package from the shipper yet.

I finally got invited to a somewhat selective work dinner function that regularly includes a few of our higher-ups. Ten people total. It is a good opportunity to get casual facetime with them and get to know them in an alcohol setting.

Based on the ranks of the individuals present, I know that all of them make $50-$70k more than me annually. We have a semi transparent pay-rank system.

To my surprise, when it came time to pay the bill, they all joyfully and jokingly were like "Ok! Time for roulette!".....and everyone hands their credit card to the server, who then randomly picks one card to foot the entire bill.

I peeked at the bill. The bill is my entire eating out budget for the month---and I budget a LOT for eating out due to HCOL area and due to deriving great joy from fine dining.

But it blows my mind that they would invite me, knowing I make $50-$70k less than them, and could have gotten stuck with the bill. It feels outrageous, tbh. Am I overreacting that this was incredibly inappropriate to invite me given my pay grade, and if I decline future invitations until I have saved up enough to be able to "surprise!" foot such a massive bill?

Part of me feels like I should just be grateful I got the extra FaceTime with the bosses, but part of me is so pissed that they think it's acceptable that someone of my rank could foot a bill of this size.

I currently am getting a steal of a living situation. I rent a bedroom in someone's townhome for $1000, whereas most bedrooms go for $1500-$2000 where I am. 1 bedroom apartments go for $2800-$3500.

I moved in here to save money. I have an 18-month emergency fund, but I am 50% behind on retirement for my age. I am in my 40s and work somewhere I will have a retirement package in addition to whatever I save on my own but haven't really factored that in.

My plan was to stick it out here for as long as I could to save as much as I could while I can, but damn. I really miss living alone.

It is my roommate's townhome, and she has it chock full of clutter. The entire home is crowded, with excess furniture crowding all the common space, and knick-knacks/"decor" covering literally every flat surface. I have to move "decor" aside to set a cup on the coffee table. I have to move "decor" aside to eat at the table.

The kitchen surfaces are 75% covered with dishes, bottles, and as pantry overflow. It is a full (and by my standards large) kitchen with plenty of cupboards. I have one small half cabinet for all my food and there is barely any room to prepare food. She just has a ton of stuff. There is a storage closet and when I moved in she promised me half of it but it's been 4 months and it is so full you can barely open the door without stuff falling out.

Then I am also realizing.... The townhouse itself is dingy. Everything is old and crummy. Caulking is discolored, moldy and flaking. Veneer is peeling on everything. Whatever she does in the shower (we share a bathroom) causes the drain to be clogged every week. I clean it out every time I shower at home which is about once every 4 days.

In the neighborhood we have a barking dog that barks from 7pm to 3am every night. We have a disturbed neighbor who stands on their porch yelling threats of violence and obscenities for hours at a time.

Overall I am just starting to wonder if saving the money is really worth my peace.

But my net pay after maxing 401k is $7k, so a 1-bedroom apartment could potentially be up to 50% of my net. I feel really torn about what to do here.

I feel really overwhelmed by the clutter of the living environment even as I keep a minimalist style bedroom. I've noticed myself hiding in my bedroom more and more even though I am a social person and like my roommate. Because the clutter just overwhelms me and I can't relax.

I have thought about renting a 2-bedroom somewhere nicer and just getting a less cluttered roommate. 2-bedrooms go for $3500 and up.

Anyway I am rambling now. Could use some neutral thoughts about this. What do you think?