u/Personalityquirk

It's so ironic but I've been in a constant autopilot state of masking my entire life that when I try to allow myself to be 'me', I feel like I'm pretending even more than when I'm truly masking.

When I do things like talk in my unmasked monotone voice or stop making uncomfortable eye contact, I feel like I'm being really performative; like I'm being a cringe protestor. I see & hear of others unmasking and I think it's really empowering but I guess the only thing that has helped me make friends, get jobs etc. is masking. I know masking works.. until it doesn't & I get burnt out. But when I try to unmask, it's almost as if I'm forcing myself to act more autistic than I am, when in actual fact, things like eye contact really can be painful.

Even when I ask for accommodations, I feel like I'm taking the piss & just taking advantage of the system.

EDIT: thank you all for your comments! I was afraid that I was being autistic 'wrong'. Years of being & feeling different in society sometimes make me feel like I don't even belong in autistic-focused groups; I feel like I'm going to say or act wrong & I have to be autistic in a certain way, even though I have lived experience! Thank you thank you thank you all ❤️

It's so ironic but I've been in a constant autopilot state of masking my entire life that when I try to allow myself to be 'me', I feel like I'm pretending even more than when I'm truly masking.

When I do things like talk in my unmasked monotone voice or stop making uncomfortable eye contact, I feel like I'm being really performative; like I'm being a cringe protestor. I see & hear of others unmasking and I think it's really empowering but I guess the only thing that has helped me make friends, get jobs etc. is masking. I know masking works.. until it doesn't & I get burnt out. But when I try to unmask, it's almost as if I'm forcing myself to act more autistic than I am, when in actual fact, things like eye contact really can be painful.

Even when I ask for accommodations, I feel like I'm taking the piss & just taking advantage of the system.

EDIT: thank you all for your comments! I was afraid that I was being autistic 'wrong'. Years of being & feeling different in society sometimes make me feel like I don't even belong in autistic-focused groups; I feel like I'm going to say or act wrong & I have to be autistic in a certain way, even though I have lived experience! Thank you thank you thank you all ❤️

Disclaimer: my blood work is all ok, I got it done a week or two ago for something unrelated.

Anywayssss, I (25f) went on a solo trip abroad a few weeks ago for a week & I loved it. Straight after, when I flew home, I went to a cottage in the countryside with my family for a week. Then, I went abroad for 3 nights with my boyfriend. All of these were super fun & they were all really relaxing holidays. But man, was I tired! I usually listen to my body but the ADHD side of me loves new experiences & doing as much as I can.

This weekend I went to a concert and spent the whole weekend with my boyfriend in his new place. We've only been dating for 2 months but he's so so understanding of me being autistic/having ADHD. I met a few of his friends & family for the first time so it was a weekend of meeting many people. I quit drinking 400+ days ago. Alcohol helped me so much when it came to meeting new people (even though I am quite a social person). I almost feel hungover!

When I got home yesterday, after dinner and watching a movie with my sister, I went to bed. Next thing, I wake up at 4:30pm. I'm so pissed off that I wasted a full day. At the same time though, I felt tired a lot of the weekend (nothing to do with my boyfriend, he even told me that I should stay at his and have alone time while he went out for drinks with his friends. So one of the evenings I stayed home & slept). I was almost gaslighting myself that I was just being lazy. But waking up at 4:30 today proved that I was mentally and physically exhausted.

It makes me slightly sad because it makes me realise even when doing things I enjoy, I get burnt out. Two years ago, I ended up losing 70% of my hair and having to quit my job; thankfully my hair is grown back now. I thought that because I don't have a job (I'm on disability), it was the end of exhaustion (until I return to education in September to do an undergrad). But, these past few weeks have made me feel disabled again. And it's tough. I've been trying to enjoy life, but even that is exhausting!

I know I'll be fine again soon. It just sucks that burnout happens because it's happened before, it's happening now, so I know it'll happen again :(

Hey guys. I'm from Ireland & am due to return to education to start a BSc in psychology as a mature student (25yo) in Dublin this September.

I had never been to Edinburgh until last weekend. But, from around age 12, I have had a 'knowing' that I'd end up studying at some point in Edinburgh. Anyways, I fell in love with the city when I was there a few days ago. That 'knowing' feeling is back. But, I know I still need to put effort in.

Thing is, the route to becoming a research psychologist is long & can be expensive. Luckily, I have 4 years to build up my masters application to hopefully obtain a scholarship/funding. Along the way, I can figure out if research is the area for me.

So, I'm wondering, what should I be doing over the next several years to create a strong application for a scholarship (aside from getting good grades)?

Thanks a mil in advance!

Hi guys. I (25F) would like to get my boyfriend (26M) a gift to celebrate pride month. I ran it by him first because I wanted to make sure it wouldn't make him uncomfortable. He said he's delighted that I'm thinking of getting him a gift.

We've only been going out for 2 months or so. I'm planning on making him a homemade card and getting him something small (especially seeing as we haven't been dating officially very long). His family aren't aware that he's bi, so I can't get anything that has a flag on it etc.

I hope I'm posting this in the right group. If not, I really apologize!

Many thanks in advance 💓

Recovering alcoholic of 1 year. I'm looking to get some 0.0s to stock in the fridge. Haven't tried many options, but I ADORE Guinness zero (funny considering I wasn't a fan of the real stuff during my drinking days).

Would love to try Irish brands especially. I'm not looking so much for fizzy drinks like fanta etc., rather alternatives to alcoholic drinks (wine, cider, beer, stout etc.), that don't make me feeling like I'm missing out on it all.

Bonus points if there's a lil bit of caffeine in there too! (Someone really needs to make a NA beer or cider with the same amount of caffeine as a coke!)

Edit: wow!! Thanks so much everyone :). All your suggestions mean a lot to me, especially since I'm a woman in my early 20s. It can be an isolating experience as a young recovering alcoholic. so these answers are great.

I'm not talking solely about hardships, but also neutral and 'positive' experiences (although I believe every experience brings at least some positivity to my life). I seem to have done things a lot that others haven't. Or, if someone brings up an experience they've had, I almost always can relate to it. To the point that I often joke that I'm not making my life story up!

Disclaimer: I'm not looking *too* much into it because life comes and goes, no matter what. But, the curious, information-side of me is interested in learning about it! I thought it was potentially down to the fact I was an alcoholic & my behaviour was risky. But now that I'm sober, I continue to have all these weird & wonderful stories. Of course I'm aware each experience provides a lesson I can learn from.

Many thanks in advance 🦋💕⭐

I've been asked to speak on behalf of all students at my graduation. From the little public speaking I've done, I always feel much better when I acknowledge my anxiety to the crowd. However, I've never spoken in a very formal setting like this. I wanted to throw in something lighthearted. Or is it best to directly say "I'm quite nervous"?

Advice or suggestions are really appreciated 🙏🏻

I'm sure this has been asked before but I like asking questions, so I'm going to throw it out there again!, If that's ok :)

Mine are:

1. 'One Day Like This'- Elbow. I think it represents our positivity, enthusiasm and raw emotion.

2. 'Intoxicated'- Martin Solveig. Mainly because it's an upbeat dancy song.

3. 'Fireflies'- Owl City. For me anyways, my brain is often all over the place. Sometimes I come up with ideas that sound ridiculous and don't always make sense at first. I wanted to throw a song in here that represents a disorganized mind (mine is partially down to ADHD though).

I know toastmasters are across the world. But, I want to post this q here because I'm specifically asking for advice and tips on how to attend toastmasters in Ireland for the first time! :)

I really want to get over my fear of public speaking, especially since getting sober. I'm quite socially anxious and it's really pushing me out of my comfort zone and I'd just like to know what happens. Do I have to pay a fee? Do I have to speak? Will everyone know that I'm the new one?

Many thanks in advance!

Early 20's (f)– I'm officially part of the ~35% of people who make it to a full year of sobriety after attempting to quit alcohol! All odds were against me; I have ADHD & am autistic; alcohol turned me into the person I always wanted to be. But, I no longer want to be that person. I've realized that sober me is actually pretty damn cool!!! I'm from, and living in Ireland, a country that has a huge drinking culture. The journey hasn't always been easy, especially around celebrations e.g., St Patrick's Day, and Christmas time.

From 3 psychiatric hospitalisations & 1 rehab stay, to returning to education, and loving life, is sometimes unbelievable!

And guys... you'll never guess what... sober dancing is possible!!! I'm a woeful dancer, but I was doing it drunk so I may as well turn the dancefloor into Step Up now too!

I'd love to thank everyone here! Some days I've come to reddit to escape the triggers of the 'real' world. And, this sub has never failed to boost my mood.

I feel my brain has majorly changed this past year. My memory is actually terrifying me. In a good way, of course. I have all these random fun facts... that I can now remember?!? I can't stop telling these ridiculous facts and statistics. Like did you know whale milk has the consistency of toothpaste or butter? I have always loved information but man, since getting sober I want to know and share EVERYTHING! I have passion in my heart and a desire to connect with those around me.

My love for life is growing each day. What a beautiful thing it is to wake up, clearheaded, with no regrets from the night before.