u/Popular-Rise-7164

Settle an argument as I'm feeling bored (and curious if im over cautious). If hill is quick I would still leave early to start route at 8am (gives you plenty of light if things go wrong etc). Friend says start after midday as route is only 4 hours.

Personally if the only good sunny weather window was the afternoon, I'd still leave early, or if it was horrendous in the morning I'd consider just not going up.

I am a nurse specialist working in early pregnancy.

I have been undergoing years of infertility and failed ivf cycles.

My work are mostly supportive and kind or as much as they can be.

I however am just not coping anymore. I have developed OCD, depression, anxiety and also IBS. I have constant coldsores on my face and nose and all my hair is falling out.

I love my job but think I am maybe destroying my life right now physically mentally emotionally by trying to keep it all up.

My gp has advised to take sick leave. I am reluctant. I dont know what it actually entails though, what are the down sides of doing this?

My other option possibly is requested a one year sabbatical and taking a non healthcare job doing what ever whilst I try to recover.

TLDR

Unwell mainly due to pressure of working in early pregnancy with ongoing infertility causing extreme stress reaction.

What are the outcomes of taking sick leave vs sabbatical?

BACKGROUND: Bought a new old house in cornwall. Keys friday. Owners used it as a holiday home and were there on and off.

Builder coming in 2 weeks: its damp and we need a new roof on the extension.

My dad is coming tomorrow and wants to stay in new house. I've cleaned it and most of the house is appears fine damp free but very very un-lived in for a while.

The problem is wall of the kitchen extention which has damp lines all along it, literally felt wet.

PROBLEM: kitchen light turned on but when I turned it off I got a small shock and the actual light stayed on. Tried the rest and all fine. Previous owners said all way temporarily ok but would need rewiring same with the survey.

So I switched off the power on the mains.

I had planned on leaving the heaters on over night but obviously didn't.

QUESTION: electrician in now or can I just leave the mains switch off for the kitchen? Is there a way of testing things are safe for my dad to sleep over??

Also is it safe to turn on the heaters and dehumidifiers? Only to try to dry the place out a bit.

We are obviously getting an electrician in to rewire the whole place. Also electrician before the builder next week to isolate all but a few sockets. Trying to be careful about cost as we are right at the start of this.

Dad's quite stubborn and unfortunately cant stay with us as we have no spare room have lived in basically a tiny cabin whilst saving up to buy the house. Doubt he'll agree to an airbnb and also excited about our new house!

Just picked up keys for new house!

We're first time buyers and the house needs work due to damp, so we're continuing to rent for the next few months whilst we smash out the main stuff. Like pulling down all the plaster, insulation new electric type of stuff. Roof is ok but house needs a lot of tlc.

We have a builder lined up who has things in hand DIY wise. He's starting in 2 weeks.

In the mean time, what jobs should I do? Any point doing a big clean? The house has been empty for a year.

I was planning on airing it out, dehumidifiers and basic hoovering etc.

There's no furniture or appliances. Should I get some basic things: kettle, a few chairs and big hoover. I was hoping to put a single bed in one of the bedrooms as I think the builder ( who is a friend) plus maybe family may crash over.

I will sort out metres readings, contact electric and council tax and I guess water this weekend?

Anything else I am missing, not considering? I've been a bit ill so my brain is not working

Really just need to vent or someone to talk me down because I am one to stew on things like this lol.

My partner has a meeting this afternoon in our kitchen. My mil is visiting and when he said that she looked at me and said that about needing to have some time to clean. And then elaborated that she knows im household and that I'd want to do a big clean so they'd get out of my way in the morning.

Honestly I think she was being nice, giving me space!

But my partner has the whole week off minus this one big meeting (they're actually filming for it for a promo thing for his business). I'm a nurse and as family visit was last minute I could only arrange for today off and am pretty shattered from a mega busy time at work. Last night got home after work no one had sorted dinner so I cooked. I had actually sorted some food and put in the freezer for nights like this and asked my partner to defrost but he did not.

I'm annoyed about that, but not too much, because i'm not sure nephew who is also visiting, would have eaten it. Also I was very happy to cook as it helps me wind down after work. However after cooking a nice meal, just for her to say that comment and then my partner not jump in to say that i'm not actually a housekeeper or the only one who can clean really annoyed me.

Also should mention the house is very clean except for the bit of mess they made that day. We did a huge clean/ tidy up when we heard they were visiting so she was definitely not making a snide remark about the condition of our home. She just would never ever consider it her son's job to do it.

Also every time he does any household tasks, like the dishes, she says "oh you've got him trained well".

Im just hormonal and easily annoyed and I hate hate hate that stupid phrase like he is a 43 he doesn't need training to know how to do basic human skills.

How do I manage this? Sometimes I get so moody about it that I snap and then feel really guilty as she is genuinely a lovely person who just doesn't think a lot.

...to ask for recommendations here?

Ideally audible.

This isn't sarcasm or whatever, i'm just having the worst time and need some escapism that also isn't just absolutely awfully written nonsense.

I looked through the other subs recommendations and it was just too sincere.

I do also see a lot of comments about it not being that serious or what ever, but I have 1 credit on my audible and am low on free time/money with lots of driving so actually it is serious lol.

Tbh any good book recs would be appreciated

I keep getting advertised this book on insta. Is it worth reading??

I'm asking on here because I am not in the mood for the basically unedited, or complete nonsense that make up a lot of this genre (eg, fourth wing, blood and ash or when the moon hatched). I dont feel like skipping through half the book or throwing my kindle out the window in despair, but do feel like being entertained.

{Grenwich and Lennox: Riftborne}

Hi (38yr) low amh unexplained infertility.

I had a recent failure last week (frozen embryo high grade didn't survive the thawing). This was going to be our 4th go (2 retrievals 2 failed transfer and our last embryo).

I have long know I have likely got mild endometriosis, due to consistent cyclical pelvic pain. But very manageable in comparison to others and my uss scans appear normal. I understand only diagnostic lap can properly detect, but I mean that I have no endometriomas or tethering of the uterus etc and my tubes are patent.

I think we all crave answers or some form of control when infertility is unexplained and it's just terrifying (emotional and financial).

I spoke to my fertility specialist and asked about prednisilone and he said not helpful in my case. Even if I did have endometriosis which he thinks I do, then prednisilone would not really help in mild cases only severe.

He also said my failure rate was not too bad. And yes I see that statistically, but also i have been with my partner for 9 years and we have never used contraception. Every month feels like a failure. I can feel myself ovulate. I have been lying there with my legs up against the wall every 2 days lol for years and have never, ever concieved.

I am worried I should just try prednisilone but i don't know if I am grasping at straws desperate for some form of control over this. Will they give it me if I push? Any one had any experiences with this?